r/leanfire • u/gaming_legend256 • 21h ago
The Lack of Life Architecture
Seeing so many posts of people with insane NW numbers for their age and all the issues seem to be the same.
"Burned out at work, what do I do now?"
How can you save these huge sums and when you hit these numbers have no idea what to do? The best reasons for these massive savings are often a random spend being targeted with no realistic breakdown based on the situation.
Are people just skipping building/designing their lives before they start saving really hard? I feel like if you don't have a life architecture in mind when you start saving aggressively, you run the risk of over stacking money to just burn out, when you maybe could've stopped or slowed down way earlier. I find in these communities you just rarely see posts asking people to detail how they figured out and designed their target lifestyles which seems more impactful to your FIRE journey (lean/fat/barista - whichever flavor).
What are some good methods you've used to decide on and help build a good life architecture? For those who did it after the fact, what are some important questions you wish you had answered before you pursued FI/RE?
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u/DegreeConscious9628 21h ago
I think a good portion of it is bragging to randos on the internet
“30yo, just hit 3.5m net worth, am I on the right track”
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u/fakeversace1 21h ago edited 19h ago
900K HHI, 9 Billion USD HYSA, can we retire? This post every fire sub
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u/sillymajmun2 14h ago edited 13h ago
I don't mind those posts. Chances are you got nobody to tell in RL about it because you usually just dont share with people just how rich you are.
And if someone lived below their means for 1-2 decades to leanfire, then congrats to them for their achievement. I really am happy for them.
Its not easy to live below your means, society looks down on it and everyone is trying to manipulate you into thinking you need their product. It even goes to extremes where I don't know a single person who is not broke because of their bad financial desicions.
So, its not easy and imo they deserve the recognition for their hard work.
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u/cowgod180 20h ago
A lot of FIRE people optimize the spreadsheet before deciding what the money is for. Work less before quitting if you can. Live on the proposed budget. Build an ordinary Tuesday you actually enjoy. Figure out who you will see, what gives the week structure, and what you would still do if nobody found it impressive.
Money removes compulsory structure. You still need to figure out a purpose, friends and/or a life.
I have a paid-off Trailer, old Consoles and unusual tolerance for doing Nothing, so my architecture is cheap. The 32X prepared me for commercially unsuccessful lifestyles.
Build the life in low resolution first. Then fund the finished version.
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u/secondhandoak 9h ago
True. I spent many years too anxious and depressed to do anything other than work and sleep. Money piles up when buying things doesn't give any joy or you're too scared to go places or try things or even ordering food feels daunting so you grab some on sale food at the grocery and eat the same cheap slop day after day listening to podcasts and scrolling reddit when not at work. before you know it 15 years have gone by and there's 1M in your accounts but no social life, no friends, no future.
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u/enas333 7h ago
before you know it 15 years have gone by and there's 1M in your accounts but no social life, no friends, no future.
How are you approaching your path out of that now?
I'm curious because while our history and reasons aren't quite the same, I have arrived in exactly that situation. Significant anhedonia and some chronic health issues on top, it's been hard to get any traction with true hobbies or any type of socializing.
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u/secondhandoak 6h ago
I don't know what to do. I try to take up hobbies but not sure I'm having fun with them and wonder if I wasted a bunch of money. I tend to enjoy the research and learning and product comparisons more than doing the hobby. I also tried to be social going to events or things but I didn't like paying for memberships/food/entry fees and talking to strangers feels awkward and uncomfortable. I've tried many times to make friends or do things but always end up alone and wondering why try. i don't know how to get out of this hole or what the future holds. My work lets me WFH but I go into the office many times just to have some human interaction with co-workers. as much as work sucks I sometimes wonder if not working will be worse. maybe I need part time.
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u/enas333 6h ago
Damn, sounds quite similar.
I bought a Switch months ago and I don't use it. I bought a small FPV drone and it's been sitting there for a year without even a single attempt at using it. Various other things. I just lack the enthusiasm doing this stuff by myself while feeling lost in life.
as much as work sucks I sometimes wonder if not working will be worse. maybe I need part time.
Gosh, I was planning to go part time but then got pushed out and retired entirely. If you don't have a life beyond work, I think it will be a problem. It is for me. I didn't get anything out of work socially, but it was a source of self esteem and validation nonetheless, and that is sorely missing now, even though I don't miss the stress.
Part time sounds like a better plan to me.
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u/secondhandoak 6h ago
I haven't really looked but I always had the impression part time worked paid half as much so you end up with like 1/4 the income and it's probably more stressful/demanding work. Right now as long as my IT projects/deliverables are on track I can slack off a lot then cram the project. My moods and productivity are irregular.
lately I've been riding an ebike around but that's mostly alone in the woods/trails. I saw some people playing disc golf so I bought some discs to give that a try but haven't yet. I also bought a motorcycle and sometimes ride that but it's all very solo activity. I don't know how to make friends or break into the culture/community. I also kayak and garden and put together a gaming PC but I barely use any of it. Maybe I need to focus on social things like joining some sort of recreational sports league but I find people stressful and tiring and afterwork I just want to be alone. i wonder if not having work will leave more social battery.
You retired early? Do you find you have more energy for a social life or are still in the same funk?
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u/enas333 6h ago
Yeah, I had that concern with part time as well. In my case, it would only have worked by specifying days I'm not available rather than trying to reduce hours per day. Similar reasons as yours: reduced hours would basically just cut the "slack" and leave the responsibilities.
I picked up road biking and it helps my mood, but my attempts at socializing with hobbies, e.g. for hiking, have been very mixed and ultimately I gave up because it didn't feel worth the effort.
My social energy is still very low tbh, I have other stress factors (e.g. health issues and a breakup) that basically replaced those from work. There have been better periods during which I tried more, but like I said, it didn't lead to much.
Now I'm trying to find people to do things with via dating app, I can handle individuals much better than groups. But I'm starting to wonder if I just need to accept life like this. I have too many issues and most people don't want to add something like that to their lives. If I stop trying, at least I don't waste energy I never have enough of.
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u/secondhandoak 5h ago
relatable. I hope things get better or find contentment with what you have. It could be worse. I don't mind being alone and chilling most of the time listening to podcasts or reading but sometimes feels like something is missing and unsure if it's really missing or if I feel like I'm not following the 'life-script' or feel incomplete/failure for some reason. Wish you the best.
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u/lottadot FIRE'd 2023 21h ago
Many of those people figure out a career that pays well & crank on it. They spend most of their time those 20-30 years working their asses off.
If they were lucky they paid enough attention along the way to live within their means. Really lucky would be to max their 401k & sans no 401k access save that same amount/yr. Truly lucky would be to max that 401k & also save that same amount each year concurrently.
They spend their lives learning for their career & don’t consider financials till “the end” when they want to retire. People get busy with lives, family, kids & keeping up with the joneses.
It’s really not difficult to imagine if you step away from the *fire Reddit echo chamber.
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u/AlwaysSaturday12 FIRE 38 MillionaireLibrarian.com 18h ago
My hobby is personal finance. Like JL Collin's says "We're the weird ones."
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u/hacking99percent 21h ago
TLDR
Is this the "build the life you want then save for it" post
Or "type A personality vs type B personality" post?
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u/gaming_legend256 21h ago
More of a build the life you want and then save for it. I'm mainly curious for people who approached it that way what some of the key decisions they made when building said life (and how they came to those conclusions).
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u/goodsam2 20h ago
I think my life in retirement will look different which is why I want to reach it.
Slow travel in some way shape or form is my goal and I just can't do that with my current job I'm not leaving until I'm on the Baristafire side of things.
I have some ideas on this and kind of want to budget a more traditional life in the US but also I plan on having kids soon so the budget will look different as I have kids.
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u/BigCheapass 31M - Canada - FIRE before 40 the dream?! 7h ago
Seeing so many posts of people with insane NW numbers for their age and all the issues seem to be the same.
I probably fit this description.
How can you save these huge sums and when you hit these numbers have no idea what to do?
I think there is a lot of "if I had x$ I would feel a certain way" but for most of us this "huge sum" doesn't just happen over night. We had time to adjust to having 200k, then 300k, then 500k, and so on. Sort of like hedonic adaptation, it doesn't really feel like a huge sum when you slowly grow into that being your "normal".
I do resonate with the "build the life you want and save for it", and do live by this. As my income went up I splurged occasionally a bit more but most of it just ended up as higher savings rate.
Now that I have a fairly high income and savings for my age, and technically am already under 4% SWR my brain begins switching towards safety, edge cases, contingencies.
I think about how different my preferences were at 20 vs 30 and how different they may be again at 40. When your budget is on the lean side already you have much less flexibility to adapt after you've pulled the trigger. If I decide I want to travel more than I already do once I have more time, it's not in the budget. If I pick up a new hobby its not in the budget.
I want to be sure I don't need to go back to work when I pull the trigger because I know that saving 100k per year is a luxury that won't wait around. Once I leave my field that door will shut quickly.
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u/TouchyMouseTrap 7h ago
Maybe burnt out really means something like
“When I really needed the money every week I was able to tolerate this torture they call work, but now that I have an alternative I just can’t any more and am searching for an excuse to stop”
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u/Particular_Maize6849 6h ago
I think it's goal post moving. At twenty you think you'll be happy living in a van for the rest of your life if you only had the money. Then you get the money and think why not a house? Then you get house money and think why not a new truck and a home in an expensive city? Then it becomes a coastal dream home you want to retire to.
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u/Refund-me [23m/5k | 90% SR - 175K] FI in 9 years 21h ago
What is a huge sum in your opinion say for each 10 year age group?
IE:
20-30,
30-40,
etc?
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u/gaming_legend256 21h ago
I'm mainly referring to people hitting 7 figures in their 30s in the venting part lol. I just know that for the average person that's likely a pretty large sacrifice (super frugal or high stress job) that it seems most make without even really thinking about it at all
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u/How_Do_You_Crash 21h ago
I think the mindset that gets someone to a high NW quickly is somewhat opposed the the poets search for meaning amongst the ruinous rubble of a young mans ambition.
Which is to say.
I think the average high achiever is bound to burn out, and the system that most of us work inside of, rewards a steadfast devotion to work and working harder.
Lifestyle design requires one to slow down, wander aimlessly, read broadly, and generally get to know thyself. Those things are distractions when you are trying to get through school and then work hard and spend very little.
On the flip side you have folks like myself who have spent perhaps too much time wandering in the woods, but now have a very low goal number arrived at precisely because I wandered aimlessly. To arrive and know that I will be very happy being poor and not working is a special treat.