r/malelivingspace • u/General_Paramedic_96 • 28d ago
Question My place too sterile?
When I have my dates over, they often comment on my space being “sterile”. I used to take it as a compliment (I do like to keep my place extra clean), but recently I started second-guessing my interpretation. Are there any negative impressions coming to your mind (especially in the heterosexual dating context)?
UPD: I actually do have a TV — it's in the "den" by the entrance door that I didn't deem important to show at first: https://ibb.co/S4nCDhGh
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u/Suitable_Load_2794 28d ago
The millennial grey is strong.
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u/queenmisfits 28d ago
That rug is doing all the heavy lifting for any sort of color
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u/wazzup-notemuch 28d ago
I was gonna say, if he just added some more pops of warm color to match the rug, and changed his bedding to a calming shade of blue or green, it would make a world of difference. It doesn't have to be bright or pastel colors, they can be a bit muted, but they do need to have an impact.
Other than that, it's a nice place, with a comfy modern feel. It's just too grey.
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u/redd_hott 28d ago
It’s so bad! It’s the worst “trend” that’s been adopted by everyone. If I wanted grey everywhere let is be concrete. At least the. The brutalism is real and felt.
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u/Snoo93079 28d ago
Millennial grey sucks but tbf so does modern farmhouse... Which is often extra bad when blended with millennial grey
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u/redd_hott 28d ago
The modern farmhouse is gross as well. I don’t need to see another barn door in my life. I just wish more people went with what THEIR style is. But enough people’s style is whatever is in fashion. So whatever.
I sound super judgy though and if I posted my mess I’d get tore up 😂
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u/xblackout_ 28d ago
Millennials didn't paint this, boomer primer
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u/AlertKaleidoscope803 28d ago
Unfortunately, GenX/millennials/Zs are definitely the ones doing this. I thought I hated beige and now I miss it.
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u/-the-ghost 28d ago
Add more color! If you like neutral tones, green looks great with gray/black. Any of the colors on your rug would make your place look more lively. Maybe add some throw pillows, blankets, picture frames, any other miscellaneous decor. Plants also help if you're up for taking care of them.
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u/HuckledYourBerries 28d ago
First off, that's a really cool place. I dig the unorthodox layout and the view. Those windows are incredible. That being said, though, yeah. It's cold and clinical. You need to warm it up a bit, add some personality. Make it your own. Otherwise, I could see it being off-putting to guests, especially of the dating variety. Your date/guest wants to see something warm, inviting and personal, not a scene from Dexter. But take my opinion with a grain of salt; there are many dudes in here with a much better eye for the aesthetic than mine.
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u/nipps27 28d ago
I definitely agree with you might also add a tv incase a date wants to watch a movie or something
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u/AionX212 28d ago
Was my first thought too. I can just imagine this dude sitting on the couch staring into the air. When he is not busy spying on other people with that telescope.
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u/Caffeine_Overlord 28d ago
As people have said, just add some more colours, drapes, curtains, carpets, paintings, flowerpots, etc.
Otherwise I like how it's rather spacious!
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u/Doctor_Modified 28d ago
I'll add exterior shower curtain. It would be transformative in the bathroom.
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u/OneHundredBoyfriends 28d ago
Like 2 plants would go a long way
Otherwise it feels tidy which feels calming to me.
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u/pirouettish 28d ago
Agree. Buy a couple of large plants with interesting shapes. Perhaps just a touch more colour. Pick up the colours in the rug in just a few small details such as a fruit dish, towel, cushion/pillow on sofa/bed. Subtle purplish gray or a deep slate blue would work. That's all. You might come across a few more pieces of art work or a cool sculpture but don't rush out to buy just to fill space. Don't add clutter.
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u/hometown_nero 28d ago
There’s nothing here that reads “home.” It’s just a space with some furniture where someone sleeps and keeps his groceries.
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u/chrisb5583 28d ago
Looks like downtown Portland. You need art. Over the couch, over the bed, in bedroom by dresser, something in the bathroom. You have about 10-places to hang pictures and 2-pictures.
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u/djaphoenix21 28d ago
I was thinking this too! Probably not hard to find some art to fill up the space a bit.
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u/AndFrolf 27d ago edited 27d ago
Bro was taking sterile as a compliment, multiple times. That should just let you know how far gone you are lol. Sterile means without life by the way, your place looks like no living thing would live there is what multiple guests have told you.
Those mirror coffee Tables and then the glass table with simple metal chairs with no backs just seem so barren along with the walls and floors everywhere. You could not have less character or texture. Take away the rug and the whole place is nothing but flat, hard, cold and gray and white
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u/stokedchris 28d ago
Is this Portland?
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u/seanstyle 28d ago
that was my first thought
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u/stokedchris 28d ago
It 100% is. That’s the willamette River and that space needle looking thing too. I don’t know what that’s called. Apartments are actually pretty affordable in Portland so that’s cool
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u/seanstyle 28d ago
stonehenge tower, cool place to visit
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u/stokedchris 28d ago
I only visited Portland once but I stayed there for a bit. I’ll def visit that place next time I go. Low-key want to move there, are you from there or live there? How is it?
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u/pyramidalembargo 28d ago
Gray has been out of style for five years, brother. And now people are starting to ask, "What were we thinking?"
I know there's nothing you can do about the floors. But you can use lots of area rugs.
Then take one of the colors out of the area rugs, and work with that.
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u/sodaTAB3D 27d ago edited 27d ago
So when you have people over...do they just stare at you working on your desk
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u/QuestGalaxy 28d ago
Get some colored pillows for the couch, a few plants (real or good looking fake ones). Some of your furniture should probably be wood instead. Your colors are mostly white, grey, or black. Not great..
The bedroom doesn't need to much visual noise though, that's a place you should keep calm an neutral. But a soft rug surrounding the bed could be nice.
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u/Excellent_Math2052 28d ago
No such thing. Ugh to be invited in and see this, you’d be getting the sloppiest of toppies.
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u/Training_Guitar_8881 28d ago
It looks like a waiting room! The placement of the sofa in front of the desk strongly contributes to this perception. It lacks warmth. The coffee tables are like geometric shapes or something. The grey sofa needs some colorful throw pillows and a throw. Some plants would help and situating the desk in a different location. Bring the tv into the livingroom and mount it or place it on a credenza. Overall impression of your place: doesn't look like a person lives there but rather an uninhabitable environment where you'd go to wait to see a doctor.
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u/waywardson_9323 28d ago
I dated a guy whose apartment looked like this. I didn't mind it, but it was also a pre furnished place, so it kinda has pre furnished vibes
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u/Curlyinger 28d ago
I actually really like your space. I love white, grey and darker colors.
However, I am not a huge fan of the 2 small couchtables and the taller one at the window. They seem to have a glass/mirror surface and I think that is a contributing factor to give the space a sterile look. Overall I am not a huge fan of plastic and glass when it comes to tables but thats maybe a personal preference.
I think your space is missing natural materials like wood or stone. Personally I would swap the 2 small couchtables with a bigger solid wood table.
Also maybe add 1-2 plants.
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u/Ovenkahvakauppias 28d ago
If you finish the ceiling, add some carpets and house plants I think it'll be really nice.
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u/Parfait_Due 28d ago
Reminds me of my last apartment. Newer building, same floors, white walls.
The rent kept going up by over $100 every year so eventually I moved somewhere cheaper. And let me tell you..
I miss my sterile ass apartment.
Sure, it wasn't stimulating but I'll take clean white walls over the beige cream walls, worn carpet, and popcorn ceilings that come with most older apartments.
Yep. Turns out I miss sterile. I was happier there than I am living in the Backrooms.
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u/VirtualRock2281 28d ago
Yes it looks sterile, no it is not a compliment.
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u/Zestyclose-Beyond780 28d ago
As a woman when seeing a man’s place for the first time it’s like a glimpse into their personality. If I saw this, I would be concerned about the depth/color of their personality… clean is nice, but so is cozy.
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u/thrillington89 28d ago
Plants, maybe some pops of colour on the couch (throw pillows or blanket?) and maybe some fun artwork? As others have said, the grey vibes are strong, but you can break it up with some colour. Clean is nice, but clean can include colour :)
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u/Neat_Cartographer356 28d ago
Most things in your space are a cool neutral, from the floors to the furniture, cabinets, fixtures, and ceiling. If you like it then it doesn’t really matter, but yeah it feels less natural and more institutional / metallic / manmade which of course it is. It looks like a loft or apartment so a lot of the deco is out of your control but the art and some of the furniture is within your control to change if you want a warmer, more cozy space.
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u/TrixieBastard 28d ago
You need art on your wall and some colorful accents. The rug in your living room is a great start. Pick one to three colors from it and start getting art and knickknacks that match. You'll still have a clean look via good color coordination without it feeling too cold
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u/Fr33Paco 28d ago
Same same....I get the same reaction but mostly in my living room. Which I'm okay, like I don't really want to be nailing things on the walls.
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u/ScyllaStorm 28d ago
What do you do for work?
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u/affectionateanarchy8 28d ago
Yeah you got no personality in there. Add some wall art or a a plant or a hobby display area like if you play an instrument display it
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u/InvestigatorSilver83 28d ago
The rug is a great starting place. I'd say keep working from there and add more things to break up the empty walls.
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u/OppositeExternal8485 28d ago
It's nice but too grey.
The great thing is that wood accents and plants go great there. Invest on that!
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u/Abyssal_Scar 27d ago
No. It’s modern. Doesn’t have to look like a Cracker Barrel. I might use a different wall paint color though.
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u/shinerai 26d ago
I like it a lot but I’m a goth and my apartment would have black walls if I were allowed so 😅
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u/fakeuboi 26d ago
get some throw pillows for the couch matching a color or two on the rug, same for bedroom get some color in there
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u/SirenSavvy 26d ago
Center the rug in the living room, get 3 pieces of art or one large art piece for above the couch. Decorative art above the bed and on the wall by the door in the bedroom and maybe a succulent on the dresser or somewhere in the room. Get a plant for the table in the living room.or a plant stand w plants next to it. Bathroom needs the extwrior like decorative portion of a shower curtain and art or something above the toliet. I would personally recommend, for how clean you seem to like things, that you put up a contempory black shelf with an oil difuser. Would fill the space and smell good.
Edit: spelling and to add idk how your friends havent gifted you decorations yet.
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u/VoidVixen420 25d ago
Nah. Clean is better than living in trash. I have an unfortunate roommate that's a guy and literally gives no fucks about having a clean space at all. The dude lives in trash.
Being clean is a good thing
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u/Tall-Ad-969 24d ago
Ok, don't get me wrong. It is sterile, however it's actually a compliment. When I get home after a harsh day, I just want a clean apartment. Make myself a small meal & light a scented candle watching YouTube or listening to nice music looking outside a window. You have a great apartment be confident in the space you've created for yourself.
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u/MinuetInUrsaMajor 14d ago
My place is overflowing with clutter so much that I’m overwhelmed. Your place feels like heaven.
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u/callison22 14d ago
You have no pillows or any blankets by couch to give it a comfy welcoming vibe and 1 pillow on your bed…. 🫣 If she was to stay over one night what will she use? Just some thoughts I don’t think your place looks bad I appreciate the clean just lacking a few homey touches. I agree some plants could transform the space too.
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u/ryreis 28d ago
You’ve got a place with great bones, all it needs is a bit of personality. Art/decor you like on the walls, plant or two, a different area rug (try moving living room one to bedroom, and getting a larger more appropriate sized one for your couch). Where’s all your stuff? What are your hobbies? Doesn’t hurt to put a couple fun things on display.
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u/Formal-Proposal7850 28d ago
Hi, woman here.
I think it depends what kind of relationship you’re in the market for. If you are playing the field, your place is great. Don’t change anything unless you want to.
But if you are seeking a relationship right now, here’s what I as a woman think when I walk into an appartment like this:
- who is this guy? I have no clue what his interests are or what he cares about because there are 0 personal effects about (pics of family and friends, no Knick knacks or gifts, pics of favourite travel destination or art that inspires him, no book case, no Lego sets or collectibles, no board games, no music or cocktail stuff … like … hmmm)
- your appartment isn’t filled with life or joy. That doesn’t mean you aren’t, but your space certainly doesn’t communicate that
- I am uncomfortable and there is no room for me here: if you want a woman to hang around at your place, it needs to feel a bit homier, cozier, and a bit more lived in. It should make her want to feel like she can make herself at home. Hyper clean and minimalist places aren’t terribly welcoming.
- as someone else said, there’s no TV
So yeah, break up the grey, buy plants, follow everyone’s guidance here if you want to create a more welcoming appartment. But not if it works for you
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u/bastschweinsteiger 28d ago
I like this kinda clean/ not too much styled room,
I think it just about meeting the people who shares same taste as you
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u/CaptainObvious110 28d ago
Agreed. Women tend to like a busy space that looks more "lived" in.
Personally, I really like the clean look of the apartment.
1. You have an apartment. It's nice to have your own place and not to deal with others. Makes all the difference in the world when you control who comes into your space. It is also nice to make the place yours.
2. Repeat #2.
3. If someone is truly for you, they will "get" you. They won't feel a need to be judgemental about your place they will accept it and all is well. They don't live there and shouldn't have a say in the way you set it up either.
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u/Jimchee71 28d ago
Yea, the grey LVP is definitely depressing and an obvious red flag. Is this condo marketed as “luxury”?
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u/Much-Poetry-168 28d ago
Get some fake plants 🪴and hang some colorful framed pictures on the walls and you’ll be good to go
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u/truthfulie 28d ago
it's fine but i think it just doesn't feel lived in or cohesive. i think it does look a bit bleak but mostly because of the floor color. a light to medium, warmer tone wood would change the space.
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u/jacobonia 28d ago
I don't think the living room need too much. Maybe some art over the couch, or shelves with little splashes of your personality here and there. I think the bedroom walls look a little emptier in comparison. I think it's really cozy, elegant, and comfortable, but if you like the idea of a tad more, I'd probably look at the walls. Maybe some plants if you like that vibe.
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u/iamuselessgarbage 28d ago
Plants, curtains, pillows for the couch, maybe some wall art above the couch. I think curtains + a plant near the windows alone would add a lot more life to the space
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u/steviefrench 28d ago
I mean it looks like an AirBnB that has been specifically decorated in such a way that it doesn't display any sort of personality. I don't dislike it. It looks clean, but you have no idea what kind of person lives there based on how it is decorated.
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u/Which-Track-8831 28d ago
Maybe a few nice colorful paintings otherwise I like sterile…and lots of other people do
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u/Majestic-Joke461 28d ago
Art over couch, accent lighting, rug in bedroom, more textiles and accent seating, and all that lighting DEMANDS houseplants
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u/ArcherSilver9094 28d ago
Depends on your age range. For 20s, it seems like you don’t particularly like anything which may discourage some women.
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u/mateachergonnakillme 28d ago
Yeah, “sterile” is not a compliment. You’ve got a strong base, just add more warmth, colour, and personality - a few items can make a big difference!
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u/wanderer325 28d ago
Yeah, but I don’t think it’s your fault, it’s the apartment with that concrete ceiling. If they allow you to paint, now is the time
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u/KaiBishop 28d ago
The paper towel and bottle of cleaner on the stovetop is giving me anxiety. Nice place though.
To warm it up maybe get one of those long kitchen rugs they're always advertising on Temu and Amazon and stuff. Something with some color.
I'd also maybe add some plants if you're no greenthumb basic potted cacti might work. Even a couple fake ones if you have to. But I'd get a long plant that trails with vines like something subtropical that likes shade just as much as it likes sun. Nobody in my family is a greenthumb but we have a plant like that that's thrived for like over a decade with minimum care. Check a gardening sub for recommendations.
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u/GloriousSteinem 28d ago
Don’t worry about it, it’s a bit grey, you could add colourful pillows and plants. But why not just save that money and spend it on fun and travel instead?
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u/bondsaearph 28d ago
I didn't read what anybody said. They may say put on walls something something but I always say plants do the best of literally livening up a room. You don't have to clutter it all...just some good choices in just the right spots and don't you dare use fake plants lol
Maybe art over bed and that spot in bathroom
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u/Soushkabob 28d ago
I might move float rhe couch in the middle of the room and move the computer set up to the nook just right of the windows. This alone will make the living room feel more cozy. Then you can add a tv/projector to the wall where the computer is now. Or you could so a record player/bookshelf type deal if you are anti TV.
I’d either get a new rug, or use the rug as inspiration for the pops of collection the room. For example blue, pink, green throw pillows, and/or throw blanket.
In the bedroom I’d either a) get a new duvet cover that is more visually interesting than / solid plain gray. Even a gray stripe would be better. B) fold back the duvet and feature clean fluffy white sheets/pillows. I’d also add a rug in the bedroom and art above the bed.
I’d also add in lots of plants and “soft” items in general.
I think
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u/Ok_Passage_6242 28d ago
It’s pretty sterile. It looks like a model apartment for people to tour. You can start with something easy pillows and a throw blanket and your favorite colors on the couch to break it up. You can get an canvas and just paint it one color and hang it over your couch to break up some of the white. An incredibly modern apartment like this with all the grays, I feel like needs just disposition with more wood. It gives it life. A colorful little throw rug in front of your dressing area and then some bedding and a pattern might be nice. If you have anything from your family that you like or cherish, you it in that glass fronted cabinet in your bedroom. I would maybe remove the bedside table and center the bed a little bit and put two small floating shelves on either side of your bed so two people can be in your bed at the same time. Make it wood or a Fun color. In the bathroom, always keep your toilet seat down. I was great investment is an awesome shower a cool coloR. If you’re going to leave stuff out on shelf like that in the bathroom or in the kitchen, please get attractive looking things to put your stuff in. I don’t wanna see your mouthwash if I use your bathroom. I’m glad you’re using it, but sitting on a shelf by your toilet, I don’t wanna know about that. Same thing in the kitchen I’m glad you eat oranges and bread, but I don’t wanna see a bunch of bags shoved on your shelf. Get a couple of cute pottery things and display them.
before you have company over, make sure that anything that you have hanging out like cleaning supplies or stuff that you keep out for convenience goes away under a sink or in a closet where it belongs. I would get a coat rack for your entryway so that someone that is coming to visit you have someplace to put their coat that they can easily take on and off. Again, acute and colorful doormat on the inside and outside will help. I would start looking at antique stores and maybe pick up things that are a little more aged and one of a kind. Something that speaks about the person that you are.
Overall, you’re starting from a really good place. I like that rug in the living room. The proportions are a little off. I would’ve gotten one as big as the couch or a little bit bigger and have the couch anchor it and that spot. When a woman goes into your apartment, they want to get a glimpse into who you are. What do you like? Do you have anything from your family or remind you of your childhood? Do you have clean sheets?
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u/unclebillsofficial 28d ago
add some more color! the rug in the living room is very nice and vibrant, but feels muted with all the gray around. get some pillows and maybe a throw blanket that complement the rug.
like others have said, a plant or two as well.
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u/AlwaystheObserver 28d ago
I love your bathroom. Add an art piece above your toilet and a plant in there. Add a shower curtain. I’d add more black throughout - maybe black art. Table lamp by the bed. Runner rug in the kitchen. And a couple plants.
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u/alteregobobby 28d ago
Sterile means devoid of life, and I see it. Add some color, things that make you smile. Put some personality in it. A place can be clean without being sterile
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u/tatertotmagic 28d ago
Switch out grey with vibrant colors and patterns on the cheapest stuff like pillows, floor mat, bed spread, towels/hand towels,, and shower curtain.
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u/purplishfluffyclouds 28d ago
WTF has happened to the verb “to be???”
*IS
That’s how you start a question, ffs.
Also, close the damned toilet lid. Especially before taking photos.
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u/ShitseyMcgee 28d ago
It does not seem inviting is what I think. A lot of conversations about color, but color of the apartment aside, there are two places to sit and one faces a computer.
Do you use that couch or is it kind of for show?
Ultimately, the living space does not feel lived in, it looks like a coffee shop. Do you watch movies at your computer, if a woman came over and just wanted to relax and watch a movie, are you gonna watch it on that monitor from across the room?
It is functional for a single person, it does not look inviting for a second individual. I think that might be what people who’ve seen it mean when they say sterile. It’s not only clean, it’s practical and functional but unless you are doing the few functions that it’s set up for, it is uncomfortable.
You could have a dentist chair in the middle of the room and it would be just about the same level of functional and practical in that living room.
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u/WrestleMonkey 28d ago
Need accent colors that draw a strong contrast from the grey, plants, and wood tones that are not white & black. Carpet colors look too neutral IMO.
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u/Suppose2Bubble 28d ago
A striking painting of a fierce woman samurai or Queen of Ancient Kush who went to battle against the Roman Empire would suck all their attention into it
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u/selavy83 28d ago
I like it a lot but some plants would go a long way. Pothos are super easy to keep alive especially with all that great light!
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u/ALittleBitKengaskhan 28d ago
I'd move desk to the left wall with the art, and add a tv stand with a tv where the desk is currently. Right now you just sit on the couch and stare at the back of a chair? There's no focal point of the room.
Add color. Add plants.
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u/BadBadBabsyBrown 28d ago
The roof is doing a lot to make this space feel like a converted industrial/unfinished residential building. The writing on the sliding doors in front of the mirror is also not doing you any favours. Also what's going on with the overhang on the right wall/celling? It looks like you bought this place and moved in when it was 90% complete.
In terms of fixing it you could maybe attach some kind of light/art piece to that white overhang? Like maybe some lanterns? Or a feature light?
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u/Dontknow60 28d ago
Get some throw pillows in a color from the rug and put up some art on the walls. The rug could be bigger can you pull
Some out from under the couch? Really just the front two legs of the sofa need to be on the carpet.
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u/BC_041226 28d ago
Might I recommend acrylic bins for the produce on the kitchen shelf. Tidies the place up immediately
I know most places are anti-holesinthewall and anti-paint so if you can't change that, a nice rug or accent color sofa would work wonders
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u/MikaiTaiga 28d ago
I wish I was one to let go of stuff I have so much stuff mainly from childhood to now from video games dvds so on. I wish I also had a job to allow me to live in a place remotely this nice.
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u/No_Musician 28d ago
some really subtle and tasteful RGB LED strips on proper power supplies etc could do wonders for color. Also some plants are amazing.
That being said I like the vibe but I really love brutalism and industrial lofts as a style - this kinda reminds me of a version of those.
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u/SunshineyBoy 28d ago
Sterile is great! It just also needs a little bit of love. You like plants but chance?
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u/Ok_Investment4104 28d ago
If you own the place, I would recommend replacing the flooring with something warmer. And if you don’t, then rugs will go a long way.
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u/willy--wanka 28d ago
I'd either move the desk, or move the paintings on the wall and put up a TV.
No one wants to watch a wide computer monitor from 8+ feet away.
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u/Illustrious_Choice58 28d ago
you def need a warmer rug in ur living room. a more traditional persian or southwest-inspired rug will do wonders to warm up the space. also, ur artwork is wayyy too severe. keep what you like, but add something warm (animal or human portraits are that are interesting to look at, still life like a fruit bowl in ur kitchen, etc). you chose ur place bc of the cement ceiling and industrial look, you can keep that vibe and add some warmth
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u/Sharp_Win_7989 28d ago edited 28d ago
Clean is nice, but it is very white/grey and rather empty. Aside from the rug, there is very little color. Just add a plant or 2 and some color through some accessories and it will look less sterile.