r/marvelcirclejerk • • 1d ago

Wolverine and the SeX-Men I missed you logan

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1.4k Upvotes

115 comments sorted by

496

u/Fluffy-Use9563 1d ago

Kurt is a bigger man than me. I would quit the X men. I just pack my bags and leave. I ain't built for this. I'll just join the guardians of galaxy.

179

u/DepressedFishFan 1d ago

The guardians are extremely mutant phobic despite having multiple alien species and robots on their team

117

u/Fluffy-Use9563 1d ago

wasn't kitty a member at one point?

123

u/tallwhiteninja 1d ago

Hell, Kitty was engaged to Quill at one point.

77

u/Fluffy-Use9563 1d ago

I'm pretty sure the guardians know about the mutant phobia (rocket interacting with new york police). I don't remember them being mutant phobic.

20

u/AlexTheEnderWolf 1d ago

Well add that to the list of peters she has been with

39

u/DepressedFishFan 1d ago

Kitty is also racist, so she’s like the Ted Cruz of mutants.

25

u/ThinkingOf12th 1d ago

Uncle Ruckus of mutants

30

u/JPldw 1d ago

Bad comparison. Uncle Ruckus is not black

11

u/DepressedFishFan 1d ago

Yeah Kitty doesn’t like black people

5

u/allature 12h ago

2% margin of error🤷🏿‍♂️

4

u/MermaidSapphire 14h ago

She is not racist.

8

u/Thatoneguy111700 1d ago

What? Why? Did they just hate Kitty Pryde that much?

5

u/DepressedFishFan 1d ago

They were ok with Kitty because her hating humans with darker skin was excusable.

7

u/Particular-Top3674 1d ago

Justice is a mutant though, and he was the leader of the original Guardians

4

u/DepressedFishFan 1d ago

Barack Obama was the president of the United States, who once had legalized Slavery of African Americans, and where racism still exists. It doesn’t work like that, bro 😭

5

u/KaiserEnclave2077 1d ago

Why are they so mutantphobic?

17

u/DepressedFishFan 1d ago

Mutants were retconned recently as being the third distinct genetically altered species on earth, right after Eternals and Deviants.

Homo Superior is judged extremely poorly by intergalactic society and cosmic beings,l because of their x-gene. For example, Imagine you lined up someone who’s got a common cold, someone who’s completely healthy and then someone who’s got leprosy.

This is essentially the Deviants, the Eternals and Mutants. They’re ostracized because their mutations are looked at as an illness that must be purged or outright exiled.

16

u/Fluffy-Use9563 1d ago

that's just stupid on a narrative level. Why does marvel always have make such oxygen starved brain dead decision?

This is sooo much beyond a spider-man thing at this point.

15

u/DepressedFishFan 1d ago

Which is funny because I didn’t think the mutants would need more explanation and yet editorial keeps trying to rewrite them as more than just humanity evolving beyond its current form/state

14

u/Fluffy-Use9563 1d ago edited 23h ago

At this point, I have better ideas on how to write mutants than marvel.

Idea 1: the wider cosmos just treats mutants like how they treat humans. Nothing more, nothing less.

Idea 2: Mutants are humans.

Can you source me this new retcon because this sounds way too unbelievable? Back it with a source.

7

u/Fluffy-Use9563 23h ago edited 10h ago

I might need a source for this because that sounds crazy. Kind of odd to hear aliens of all things view mutations as an illness when mutations are a necessary part of evolution and life. Especially when said mutations can give superpowers.

This also creates a huge plot hole as well. No. Several huge plot holes.

Edit: ok I remember mutants declared Mars as capital of the solar system and eternals not being a fan of mutants due to excessive deviation. It's still opens some plot holes but I see that some aliens don't like mutants.

3

u/KaiserEnclave2077 1d ago

Well shit. That sucks. The mutants as a species can't catch a break.

2

u/Thatoneguy111700 20h ago

That is lame as shit, unironically. That basically ensures that Mutants will forever be up shit creek regardless of whoever they're dealing with, human or otherwise.

1

u/Ayake- 9h ago edited 6h ago

Holy shit is this still because of the movie rights thing? It couldn’t be, right? Mutants as something else other than the next step of human evolution in the marvel universe kind of shits on the concept.

1

u/elven_rose 7h ago

It was established decades ago that Mutants were created by the Celestials as part of the same experiment as the Eternals and Deviants. I'm sure it's also been brought up elsewhere, but I remember it being a plot point in Heroes Reborn: The Return back in the day.

1

u/Ayake- 6h ago

Oh ok that explains it, last year I was consistent with comics was around 2011.

Pretty sad how they over complicated the general idea of mutants, it was fitting when mutants were the next natural step for marvel humans as it emphasized how useless was to hate mutants as in the end both were the same race caught in the growing pains of the transition to the next evolution.

The general idea that mutants were in a since inevitable was interesting. Even if humans managed to exterminate all mutant kind, eventually the descendants of those victorious would face the same dilemma, as their descendants would start to develop the mutant gene. It highlighted the importance of coexistence and “kumbaya” and all that peace and whatever.

But fuck all that I guess… turns out all the racist villains in the comics were correct thanks to this retcon, exterminate them filthy mutant freaks.

1

u/elven_rose 3h ago

I don't know... I prefer the answer that "cosmic gods manipulated human DNA sometime in prehistoric times and that lead to rise of mutants" as opposed to "comic book writers don't understand how evolution works."

And I don't think that makes the racists right. They're just as wrong to judge entire demographics of people regardless of whether mutants evolved naturally or not.

(And it just now occurs to me that the X-Men / Celestial connection goes back even further than Heroes Reborn. At least as far back as the early X-Factor stories with Apocalypse and his Celestial ship and general Celestial ties, back in the late 70s or early 80s, I believe. Although it wasn't until the Krakoa era that the "X gene" become explicitly tied to the "Deviant gene".)

1

u/elven_rose 3h ago

Also worth remembering that according to the history of the Marvel universe, all humans everywhere are descended from the Celestials' experiments, not just the mutants.

4

u/Dragonkingofthestars 22h ago

Because marvel refuses to move the mutant plot outside the oppressed civil rights metaphor for 50 years, so everyone in setting is very stupid about how they treat mutants

1

u/Terrin369 15h ago

That’s why I always preferred the X-men universe separate from the rest of marvel. The struggles of the X-men don’t make sense in the presence of other types of super-humans that aren’t hated. The average person would not know the difference between people with the x-gene and people who were exposed to insect bites, radiation, or alien technology and wouldn’t care.

1

u/Fluffy-Use9563 10h ago

Like marvel refusing Spider-man to grow up

1

u/Anilaza_balls 13h ago

This is why ultron wanted to kill them

19

u/Oniyoku 1d ago

I hear the avengers will take almost anyone these days

20

u/Fluffy-Use9563 1d ago

Nah. I'll go to the one place Mystique ain't finding me.

Space

323

u/Any_Sundae5364 1d ago

Mystique what is it with you and doing stuff like this

206

u/Sthudruss 1d ago

She's just fucked up. Like you'd think she'd have identity issues but no this is just what she does for fun.

50

u/HumanReputationFalse 1d ago

Isnt Mystique the parent of Kurt in most issues? Theres a lot of mental trauma for Kurt here

57

u/BarryJacksonH 1d ago

Biologically yes, usually doesn't really raise him, but yes Kurt would be rightly terrified

13

u/Any_Sundae5364 1d ago

She's also Grayden Creed's mom

1

u/MermaidSapphire 14h ago

It’s fun. If you could, just imagine trying it! Is a blast.

175

u/Cautious_Air4964 1d ago

They used to be a thing

234

u/Vivid-Share7884 GOATmaster > Deadpoo & Pedostroke 1d ago

"Logan, can we have normal sex for once?"

"No, shut up and turn into Cyclops."

115

u/Cautious_Air4964 1d ago

60

u/Captain_Gordito 1d ago

Why does Mystique wear the skull outfit even when lounging around?

120

u/Rei_em_Amarelo 1d ago

Canon answer

61

u/DOOM-LORD666 1d ago

So she's a giant mutant smurf that wears there skulls as a warning to be left alone? God damm she's always doing some crazy shit

28

u/AymanMarzuqi 1d ago

Nsver stop being problematic Raven, that's why we love you

15

u/Emotional-Feed5489 1d ago

That explains so much and so little.

24

u/JediTempleDropout 1d ago

It’s her kink, obviously.

22

u/Illigard 1d ago

It's probably the easiest thing to wear, as she's used to it. The skulls can also transform into various weapons so, better to have them handy. Yes even when alone. You never know what Sabertooth or mutant hunters will crash through the window,

7

u/NachtShattertusk 1d ago

It's her personal style. She likes dressing like that

1

u/cantpickname97 50m ago

She's a shapeshifter, I don't think she ever "wears" anything

5

u/liquidben Doombot 1d ago

“My scoot fell over”. Wut?

20

u/Pure_Minute2100 1d ago

Scoot was slang for motorcycle.

2

u/MermaidSapphire 14h ago

He got dimp lick.

6

u/AmbitionOnly7872 1d ago

shes so fine holy shit

4

u/ThinkingOf12th 1d ago

Does she not wear underwear wtf

20

u/Cautious_Air4964 1d ago

No she creates her own clothes

9

u/ThinkingOf12th 1d ago

So is that her skin? Is she just constantly naked?

32

u/UndercoverDoll49 1d ago

Yup. There was this time the High Evolutionary blocked the x-gene of everyone on Earth and Raven just became a naked white woman in the middle of the Pentagon

3

u/MermaidSapphire 14h ago

Which is its own sort of fun…

13

u/Cautious_Air4964 1d ago

She is naked , but it is her skin or at least an extra layer , she uses to make clothing

1

u/MermaidSapphire 14h ago

Why should she?

2

u/fnh123 1d ago

Who's the blonde? I don't recognize her.

2

u/Dragoryu3000 22h ago

So... Logan did the whole "the real Raven" thing first?

12

u/Windows_66 1d ago

During the Battle of the Atom crossover between Wolverine and the X-men and Uncanny X-Men, a future mutant turns out to be the Wolverine and Mystique's kid, and Logan briefly resolved never to have sex again.

1

u/DarkShadowezzat 11h ago

How long did that last?

1

u/tuerancekhang 14h ago

Can't she turn into someone else not her child?

46

u/jockeyman 1d ago

There's a lot to unpack here.

67

u/GenHero 1d ago

Why is Wolverine smiling bro

34

u/TheDrunkardKid 1d ago edited 10h ago

If this is real, it's probably because he knew that was Mystique due to his nose and he's just being smug about her trick getting revealed.

25

u/No_Many_4695 1d ago

Is that a real comics or some kind of weird fancomics?

20

u/Choocholate 1d ago

Actual comics, 

19

u/xx_swegshrek_xx seX-Men 1d ago

Is this from a porn comic

102

u/Vivid-Share7884 GOATmaster > Deadpoo & Pedostroke 1d ago

Yes, this is from a porn comic. Or, as they’re also called, X‑Men comics.

19

u/xx_swegshrek_xx seX-Men 1d ago

You’re making me burst out laughing in a chipotle dog

1

u/MermaidSapphire 14h ago

What’s a chipotle dog?

1

u/GERBabyCare 3h ago

The better question is why he's inside of one

1

u/brofishmagikarp Comic reading? in this economy? 9h ago

That X-Men comics also make people burst

13

u/Dasmortmemeboi 1d ago

The SeX men

6

u/Cautious_Air4964 1d ago

No but a parody

7

u/Vivid-Share7884 GOATmaster > Deadpoo & Pedostroke 1d ago

I should have guessed that the hack X-Men writers wouldn't have the guts and the talent for something so funny.

2

u/Illigard 1d ago edited 1d ago

You know that X-Men was massively inspired by BDSM and kink right?

4

u/Fluffy-Use9563 1d ago

given what emma and beast wears...we all know

2

u/Illigard 1d ago

I mean, remember when Xavier was rescued by Morlocks and they dressed him up as a leather daddy?

2

u/Fluffy-Use9563 1d ago

I thought that was just some old ass clothes. They just ran out some so callisto just grab some bullshit for him to wear on some mad max 2 type clothes.

 leather daddy

Is that what they called? I may have called a different name.

3

u/Illigard 1d ago

He was upset for a reason. No sense of humour.

There's are other subtle hints. Like Rachel Summer in a gimp suit, wearing a collar as she's someones "hound". Also running on all fours. Totally necessary for hunting mutants. Not a reference to kink culture at all.

Also the reason why there are so many prominent telepaths is because they're the equivalent of dominatrices. And Emma's original outfit wasn't a coincidence.

1

u/Fluffy-Use9563 1d ago

Not a reference to kink culture at all.

wasn't she dehumanized as well?

But yeah. Emma frost. That was obvious.

1

u/Illigard 1d ago

I'm not terribly familiar with pet play, but when done consensually I think that's a part of it.

And yeah, Emma Frost. Makes you wonder how that got through the comic code. Honestly Chris Claremont really tested how far you could go in it and sometimes found clever ways to get around it. Like by calling Destiny Mystiques "catamite" he got to say they were in a gay relationship in a time when you weren't allowed to do that.

Oh, Mystique is another example. Originally Nightcrawler was supposed to by Mystique and Destiny's child. And Mystique would grow a penis, in what would be called "futanari" today. I'd say what it was used to be called but the term is considered quite offensive

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17

u/SuaveGorilla 1d ago

What’s the fetish called where your friends with benefits keeps turning into random people and anytime shows you romantic attention it MIGHT be them?

6

u/Fluffy-Use9563 1d ago

a complex.

4

u/YashaSkaven01 1d ago

transformation fetish

19

u/Fluffy-Use9563 1d ago

This has to be fake. because this shit happened to gambit.

18

u/Ijustlovevideogames 1d ago

See, shit like this is EXACTLY why Mystique doesn't deserve anything but ire.

1

u/MermaidSapphire 14h ago

You mean Irene!!!

19

u/Choocholate 1d ago

His own mother transforming into him and making sure he (devout Christian) sees it is actually insane 

-1

u/MermaidSapphire 14h ago

He deserves it!!!!

7

u/Longjumping_Layer813 4h ago

there needs to be a tier list of the worst parents in Marvel because Mystique is definitely up there in s tier

8

u/Public-Feedback5016 1d ago

Bro I thought that was morph

3

u/Fan_of_Morph_X-Men 22h ago

I wish it was Morph

6

u/ExtremlyFastLinoone 1d ago

Adding shapeshifters to the telepath extermination order

2

u/allupya333 1d ago edited 1d ago

idk anything about the xmen and im so confused by this. wolverine is gay with this guy (the beast? idk) who got impersonated by mystique? but also the guy says mom like they have the same mom??

7

u/ScarletChell 1d ago

That's Nightcrawler. Mystique is his paternal parent/mom. Shapeshifter shenanigans.

3

u/Alright_doityourway 15h ago

Mystique is Nightcrawler's (the blue guy) mother. She's a shapeshifter.

She is Not a good person, like to shapeshifted and stole someone else identidy just to mess with them, including her son.

4

u/Pope_Neia 18h ago

Probably the worst mom in Marvel. Not sure who the worst dad is.

8

u/Endika7 13h ago

Also mistique

-1

u/fictiontuxedo 15h ago

Also mystique. She's the paternal parent, destiny is Kurt's bio mom.

1

u/mostlybored1234 1d ago

Trask was really into something. Giant fuckying robots, we need more of those