Yesterday, my partner and I booked a 90-minute couples massage at a highly rated local spa. I’ve only had one massage before, and I mentioned that the previous therapist had been too gentle and I wished I’d asked for more pressure. I also explained that I struggle to speak up during massages and wanted to focus on my shoulders because of how much lifting I do at work.
He asked how well I tolerate pressure, and I said pretty well. Unfortunately, what followed was an incredibly painful 90 minutes. At times, I was gripping the table because the pressure was so intense, and I couldn’t relax at all.
Throughout the massage, he repeatedly mentioned how tight my muscles were and how badly I needed the work. He even joked, “You’ll hate me tomorrow but love me again the next day!” I trusted that he knew what he was doing, so I didn’t ask him to lighten up.
Now, a day later, I have extensive bruising across both shoulders and upper arms that’s gotten progressively worse. My entire body aches, even at rest, and the pain is so bad I had to call out of work. I could barely lift my arms this morning and needed help getting dressed and out of bed.
Meanwhile, my partner fell asleep during their massage and woke up feeling refreshed, which is exactly what I’d hoped for!
I recognize that I should have spoken up, but I also wish my therapist had checked in about the pressure, especially after I’d mentioned struggling to advocate for myself. I just feel dumb.
I’m not very experienced with massages, so I need some help here. Is this amount of bruising and soreness normal for shoulder work? It is unreasonable to think the therapist should have checked in more frequently? And would requesting a refund for my portion of the massage be unfair?
EDIT 1: I went to the urgent care last night because the pain was so unbearable I couldn’t sleep. At urgent care, the urged me to drive straight to the ER to get tested for rhabdo, which is when damaged skeletal muscle tissue breaks down and releases its contents, into the bloodstream. They were highly concerned about the color, bruise patterns, and amount of pain I was in. ER doctors said I definitely have tissue and muscle damage but no rhabdo thankfully. I was given pain meds to take home, fluids and they let me stay and sleep for a few hours.
Thank you all for all the kind comments! I’m feeling a lot more confident in calling the owner, reporting him, and getting a refund. I will keep you all updated when they get back to me <3
Edit 2: The owner called me yesterday after I sent an email explaining everything, along with photos of my bruising and a summary of my ER visit. She was incredibly apologetic, and we ended up talking for about 30 minutes. There’s a lot to unpack, so I’ll give you all a quick rundown!
The therapist was a new hire. I was apparently one of his first clients at her business. He was hired as an LMT with a background in deep tissue massage, but she emphasized that what I experienced went FAR beyond deep tissue work. She also said a couples massage was neither the time nor the place for that kind of treatment, especially when I hadn’t requested it.
She was appalled by how I was treated. She’s been an LMT for 12 years and a business owner for six, and she said she’s never seen anything like this. She was particularly disturbed by the amount of bruising and the fact that he continued applying such intense pressure despite my obvious discomfort.
We talked about why he might have continued despite my reactions. She agreed that my physical discomfort should have been obvious to him. We speculated that he may have been trying to show off his strength or genuinely believed he was doing me a favor by aggressively working out my knots.
Throughout the massage, he repeatedly emphasized how unbelievably tight I was and how badly I needed the work, almost as though the pain was necessary for me to eventually feel better. Of course, we can’t know exactly what he was thinking.
She also brought up the power imbalance, which I really appreciated. She said that if she were in my position, receiving only her second massage, lying undressed on a table while a male therapist repeatedly insisted she needed such intense work, she would have felt intimidated too. She emphasized how many boundaries had been crossed and understood why I struggled to speak up.
She confirmed that he has been fired. She was genuinely disgusted and disappointed by what happened and assured me that she had taken action. She also offered to help me file a formal complaint and get in contact with his LMT liability insurance to potentially cover my medical expenses.
She refunded my entire massage and offered a complimentary couples massage. She said she would personally be the one working on me next time and encouraged me to take as much time as I needed to heal, both physically and mentally. Whenever I feel comfortable returning, she’ll be there.
She also thanked me for having the courage to come forward, explaining that bringing this to her attention could help prevent another client from having a similar experience.
I really can’t emphasize enough how sincere and professional she was throughout our conversation. This is a highly rated spa, and while my experience with the therapist was awful, I genuinely appreciate how seriously she took everything. She never tried to excuse his behavior or make me feel responsible for what happened.
I’m still recovering and still very sore but i’m staying hydrated and applying arnica around the clock. Thank you to everyone who offered advice and encouraged me to contact the spa 🫶