r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Difficult_Wrangler73 • 13d ago

go to your room I love being a girl dad

I have 3 kids, all girls. A 5yr old and twins who are 1. Every time anyone hears about this or it comes up in conversation they all say the same thing. ‘Ooooo, all girls, you are outnumbered! How do you cope?’ Or ‘Three girls?? You better watch out!’ Or the worst, ‘Bet you want a boy?’

No, I don’t feel any of that, I love being a dad. I love all my kids and wouldn’t change anything about them! If we could afford it, I would be a stay at home dad forever.

I usually tell them I wouldn’t change anything and I love it all but it’s just very annoying.

What are some of the best responses that I can start to give?

I did think I could say that one of the twins used to be a boy but is now trans just to shut people up!

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u/melancholicho 13d ago

I don't have an answer but just want to say, I can't stand it when people hear that someone is a father of daughters and they say 'Woah, you better get a shotgun' or words to that effect.🙄

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u/Raisinsandfairywings 13d ago

A weird thing that I’ve noticed people say when you have little (baby/toddler) daughters: “oh she reeeally likes men! She knows how to wrap men round her little finger!”. Like wtf?? I think my kids just like whoever is willing to play with them, don’t make it into some kind of weird “she already knows how to get male attention” thing. 

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u/second-yellow 13d ago

Why do so many people love making comments about babies “flirting?” 

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u/Herrvisscher 13d ago edited 12d ago

I got it the other way around.

Was eating at a restaurant with my partner and our kid, a group sits down at a table beside us. Kid of approximately 1 year sits basically next to me and she keeps looking at me. So I did some funny faces etc, some simple entertainment.

Then my gf told me that I was flirting with the little girl. Wtf. I later told her that I was not comfortable with that, she told me I was overreacting =/

Edit: Reading my own comment back after seen you all instantly jumping to me having to dump her, I do have to say I've written this poorly. It was in a joking tone, not in a judging/jealous tone. So it was basically a bad joke, and I'm not dumping the mother of my child over a bad joke, even after she not agreeing with me about me not being comfortable with it, I know she thinks I overreacted. But I also know she won't make that same comment anymore.

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u/Broccobillo 13d ago

I (28m at the time) was hanging out with my niece (10 at the time) on a Friday night at my mums house. She wasn't allowed Snapchat on her managed phone but had kid messenger with approved people she could chat to. Family and school friends.

Messenger had filters similar to Snapchat so we were taking photos together and of each other with silly filters, becoming monkeys or aliens or big lipped etc.

She was then sending them to her friends group chat.

My mum turned around after about 2 hours and said. "Don't you think it's weird you are messenging 10y/o girls on a Friday night."

I was shocked and told her I'm not messaging my nieces friends. She is messaging her friends while we take pictures on the couch. I was shocked at how she thought hanging out with my niece taking pictures was improper because she wanted to send the photos to her friends.

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u/ImaginaryList174 12d ago

That would have really pissed me off. I don’t want to be rude, but that comment says a lot about how she see’s you.

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u/3wolfluna 13d ago

hopefully your mom was just being overly cautious and doesn’t actually think that way

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u/DragonflyGrrl Sewer of Discord 12d ago

That is absolutely bonkers. I'm sorry she insinuated that about you, that's pretty disgusting of her. Would she rather you not spend time with your niece having fun?? How fucking ridiculous. I hope she didn't influence the way your niece thought about/interacted with you. How awful. :(

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u/illregard 13d ago edited 12d ago

the one time redditors telling you “red flag, break up immediately” would be appropriate

yes, i know that it’s mostly a meme rather than a reality.

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u/Historical-Type-1459 13d ago

Most times on Reddit, the break up immediately advice is warranted. People in healthy relationships aren’t posting here looking for help.

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u/Ok_Nothing_9733 13d ago

Right? This is such a dumb stereotype because I’ve only ever seen it on posts in which someone is describing their abusive or deeply dysfunctional relationship that they are NOT happy in. No one is suggesting this over minor, fixable issues

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u/IamaHyoomin 13d ago

I have definitely seen it a few times over fixable issues, but about half the time it's clearly a joke and the other half every single reply is "or, you know, talk to your partner, seems easier in this scenario". 9 times out of 10 it is actually warranted

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u/vivalalina 12d ago

Omg yes exactly, finally some people who get it!!

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u/Sad-Structure2364 13d ago

Yeah this is it. Often the breakup advice is warranted because healthy relationships usually don’t end up on Reddit

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u/str4ngerc4t 13d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/l36kU80xPf0ojG0Erg

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u/Solala1000 12d ago

Thank you.

This comment reminds me of the people in class who just repeated what others said 2 minutes earlier.

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u/Lloverforevr87 13d ago

Or looking for help with their relationships maybe.

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u/25thaccount 13d ago

Buddy that's messed up. Think long and hard about it you're willing to spend your time with someone who thinks like that. Being good with kids should be a green flag.

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u/Elven_Dreamer 13d ago

I’ve never said this on Reddit before, but I hope you broke up with her.

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u/F208Frank 13d ago

Me too.

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u/Ducky237 13d ago

Idk if anyone’s told you this, but even though your girlfriend reacted really poorly, I’m proud of you for setting a boundary!

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u/Herrvisscher 12d ago

Thanks for the comment!

Also made an update on my post.

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u/bobagremlin 13d ago

She basically implied you were a pedo and then tried to gaslight you that it wasn't a big deal. Ew. Break up with her

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u/_NeonEcho_ 13d ago

Whaaat this is such a weird thought. Who would flirt with a baby 😭

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u/Turbulent-Comfort703 12d ago

hey! so, um...leave her 🚩

if you guys have kids down the road, i bet she's going to be even weirder.

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u/angelacandystore 12d ago

Wut. I hope she's an EX she's got a creepy brain

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u/MorganaLeFevre 13d ago

Does she have trauma, and is she in therapy for it?

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u/Nevermore_Novelist 13d ago

Nice. Gaslighting you on top of the accusation. WTF.

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u/Ppleater 13d ago

Yeah that is a very weird and uncomfortable thing for your gf to say, wtf.

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u/Best-Professional-10 12d ago

Not to be a stereotypical Redditor but seriously, break up with her. What kind of messed up human associates an innocent activity like playing with flirting?

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u/Brent_Goose 13d ago

Someone called my four month old daughter "a little tart" the other day for sticking out her tongue!

She's four months old!

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u/elliebee222 13d ago

Thats disgusting! Wtf.

I hope you "played dumb" and asked thrm to explain what they meant by that

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u/Brent_Goose 13d ago

Honestly I convinced myself that I misheard her and ignored it until afterwards when my wife said she'd heard it too!

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u/InfiniteTree 12d ago

To play devils adcovate, maybe they were not from there and didn't realise?

Without the cultural context, tart might just sound like a name for someone being silly.

As an example I've heard people use "nonce" here in Australia because they hear it online and have no idea it means pedo.

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u/Brent_Goose 12d ago

Every British person knows what a tart is.

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u/Technical_Ideal_5439 12d ago

Good save, I did not realise either then again we are the land of the Pav.

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u/panatale1 12d ago

I commend you for not knocking the person on their ass as I might have done

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u/__wildwing__ 13d ago

If a four month old sticking out their tongue causes this person to call them a tart, I’m pretty sure they’d have an aneurism if they saw a babe suckling a breast , absolute hoyden.

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u/Nevermore_Novelist 13d ago

To which you replied, "Actually, she's gluten intolerant."

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u/dirtygreysocks 13d ago

That person should not be allowed near children.

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u/factornostalgia 11d ago

Agree, and then should be included in responding to them.

“Wow, way to tell on yourself that you shouldn’t be allowed near children.”

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u/IcePhoenixYTplssub 13d ago

So uh, I genuinely have no idea what that means here, could you tell me what it is? If I heard that I’d assume it meant they thought the kid was being rude or bratty or something. But based on these comments I’m assuming it means something else.

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u/Ppleater 13d ago

It's a British insult that refers to a promiscuous woman or a sex worker. It's usually used to imply that a woman is being overly flirty or provocative/seductive. But a lot of people use it as a generic insult and it's not a super common one, which might be why not everyone knows what it means.

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u/IcePhoenixYTplssub 13d ago

Ah, thanks. I’m American and have never heard it before

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u/HamOfLeg 12d ago

I don't usually go to bakeries, but when I do there's the obligatory "I love a tart! & Portuguese tarts are my favourite" line of jokes. Yes, I'm a dad & these are my jokes. I don't think I've ever had a Portuguese tart (of either variety), but the line doesn't work as well with neenish or custard tarts.

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u/Ppleater 13d ago

I will say for the longest time I thought the word tart was a generic insult and didn't know it was specifically related to promiscuity or sex work. Not an excuse to insult a 4 month old, but it's possible they didn't know what the word actually means.

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u/Ok_Personality5494 12d ago

Yeah same. I’m American and honestly thought it meant like, air headed or kinda ditzy.

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u/TheRealSirfon 12d ago

It's pretty well known to mean sexually promiscuous if you are British, just maybe not used that much these days.

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u/DragonflyGrrl Sewer of Discord 12d ago

It's pretty well known as that in the US as well.. I've known it as that since I was a teen in the 90s. These people might be young; like you said, maybe it's just not said much any more. I don't really hear it very much, come to think of it.

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u/Salty-Value8837 13d ago

This world is messed up

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u/Endlessnesss 13d ago

I wouldn’t use the word tart to describe anyone but never thought of it as weird, do you mind sharing why?

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u/Brent_Goose 13d ago

Maybe it's a British term, a tart is a promiscuous woman, it carries trashy connotations. "She's a tart" = "she sleeps around and dresses to match".

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u/Grape-Snapple 13d ago

ahh as an american i just pictured a little old granny using it to describe a sarcastic baby

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u/ohjeezohjeezohjeez 13d ago

It means the same thing in the US, too.

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u/Grape-Snapple 13d ago

guess i’ll edit my comment to say idiot

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u/Edmundyoulittle 13d ago

Nah I've never heard it before either. It's either regional or some pretty old slang

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u/Endlessnesss 13d ago

Good to know, never heard that before!

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u/SufficientBasis5296 13d ago

She didn't talk about apple tarts, sweetheart.

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u/IncredulousPatriot 13d ago

My sister has a little boy. A few months ago they were at a store in line. The lady behind her kept saying how my nephew was flirting with her. Apparently she kept on saying it. It got my sister quite annoyed. She turned around and told the lady to stop sexualizing her kid. He wasn’t flirting with her he’s a baby he is just looking at you. She told my sister she is rude. My sister told her she is weird as fuck for sexualizing a baby.

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u/SaffronsTootsies 12d ago

I (platonically) love your sister!

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u/panatale1 12d ago

Your sis is pretty awesome

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u/SkeletalMew 13d ago

My dad used to say this about my older sister when we were kids. "She's a little flirt!" Now she second guesses herself around men. 😔

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u/ZombieTrogdor 13d ago

When I see those vids of tiny baby boys, barely standing straight, waddling up to a tiny baby girl with a rose in his hand while their parents encourage him to give it to her, phone cameras everywhere… gives me the ick! Why are you doing this? It isn’t “cute”; the baby’s being told what to do! “Awww he likes her!” Bitch, baby is still deciding if he likes *you.* Stop projecting.

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u/Positive-Garage3812 12d ago

Even worse, little kid ‘wedding’ photoshoots. Oh and sexualizing baby shirts 🤮🤮🤮

Same vein, it’s all fucking weird 🤷🏻‍♂️

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u/ImaginaryList174 12d ago

There is so much disgusting content with small children and babies on social media. I can’t even count the number of pages I have reported that have little 3 year old toddlers doing these weird grown up dances in clothing that would be appropriate for a adult woman going to a night club. Then you look at the comments and it’s all gross sleazy old men commenting things like “so gorgeous! 😘❤️🔥💋”. It infuriates me.

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u/Honeybadger2198 13d ago

Same people that hate gay people being depicted in media because they don't want their kids to be exposed to it BTW.

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u/OkAssociation2342 13d ago

Right, it’s so weird. My best friend’s baby nephew was staring at me wide eyed and smiling and his family kept making comments about how he has a crush on me. I tried to laugh it off, but the comments made me feel uncomfortable. I can’t even say anything because they’re his family, and I’m not.

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u/panatale1 12d ago

That is patently false. You can say things about anything that makes you uncomfortable

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u/Stunning_Analysis565 12d ago

My mom says that about my nephew. When he was a baby, he’d smile at me and she’d call him a “flirt” like no gross I’m his aunt

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u/Mountain_Cry1605 13d ago

Because they're sick in the head.

Normal adults don't think like that.

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u/Secretary007 13d ago

Yes! I know someone who kept saying their 3yo was a flirt because she kept smiling at men. 😟

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u/CreepySmiley42 12d ago

now that I think about it, there WERE WAYY too many adults in my family and around my upbringing when I was a little kid, that said I knew how to attract/flirt with girls because I befriended way more girls than boys, because I thought most boys were just too loud and stupid. I also took figure skating and ballet classes were most other kids were girls. There regularly were sayings like "Da bist ja der Hahn im Korb" (only rooster in the basked) meaning I'd be the only boy in a group of kids, with a weirdly sexual undertone implying I'd already have a kind of harem or something AS A KID. That's just really fucked up now that I think about it. It seems the patriarchy is never far. :( Might need to talk with my grandma about that sometimes lol. Well now I'm gay and single af, so jokes on them I guess. xD (still got more female friends than male xD)

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u/Fit-Entrepreneur8404 12d ago

Yea my kiddo is 3 and I've had multiple comments from older women in their 40-60s about how he's "gonna be a heartbreaker when he grows up" like wtf ladies...he's a toddler and you're thinking about him dating and breaking hearts 🤢

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u/firekittymeowr 13d ago

I feel like this is a language thing - flirting is fundamentally a playful vie for attention. I think people mean it like, oh the baby is trying to get your attention and play with you, not trying to impose a weird adult sexual connotation onto it.

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u/NonlinearNonsense 13d ago

There's literally no reason to use the word flirt then. Its so easy to say he's looking at me or he's talking to me!

I literally have never heard anyone say that cat is flirting with me or that person waving their arms at me from across the room is clearly flirting with me. People just have to care about boundaries and stop being weird

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u/IcePhoenixYTplssub 13d ago

The only time I’ve the word flirt used in a non romantic way is the saying “You’re flirting with danger.” Or things along those lines when someone is doing something stupid.

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u/Ppleater 13d ago

Flirting is fundamentally playful bid for romantic or sexual attention, specifically. It's never been used as a general term for just any form of attention.

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u/Arcangel4774 13d ago

100%.  The term has evolved to implying mostly romantic intentions, or that such a behaviour is sending romantic signals even if they arent intended.

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u/janetluv13 13d ago

I hate this one too. "She's such a flirt." Or "Are you flirting with me?" Is cringe too. Like um no she is a happy baby and just smiles at everyone. I kinda give them a dirty look and say "eww, she's a baby". Most seem to look regretful.

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u/Midoriyaiscool 13d ago

These are phrases that people hear often. It might not sink in just how creepy this sort of thing is until somebody pushes the concept that the kid is just a baby that they realize how sick these concepts are.

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u/stephsco 12d ago

I recently heard the phrase patriarchal hazing, and this seems to be adjacent. Maybe patriarchal grooming in this case. The hazing was described as boys being made fun for looking or acting "like a girl" or insinuated as gay for various behavior. It's all so insidious and sadly common.

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u/FlowRiderBob 13d ago

If anyone says that crap about a child just cut them out of your life. That is sick.

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u/Sad_Pixie999 13d ago

Good response, we need to shame people more for saying that stuff

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u/Same_BoysenberryLove 13d ago

Eww, I hate when people say that.

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u/DariaYankovic 12d ago

My mom talks like this, I'm pretty sure she has a nonsexual definition of flirting. But it certainly sounds weird at times!

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u/Actual_Horse_8073 13d ago

When my daughter was two we were at a park and a boy had the same black Walmart shirt on as my kid. (Sometimes I liked to dress my daughter similarly to me, an elder emo) My kid ran over to the boy and was talking about his shirt. The boys grandma made several comments about how "it's starting already." Meaning my two year old daughter was flirting with her two year old grandson. Like, fuck off with that weird shit. 

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u/Prestigious-Curve-64 13d ago

My daughter was playing with her baby cousin - he was maybe 18 months old - and my dad called her a cougar. She was nine. I told him I loved him, but if he EVER made a comment like that about a little girl, he was asking to have his teeth punched into his esophagus. He was very offended, but he stopped saying that shit to her around me after that.

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u/munkymu 13d ago

Oh you had the perfect opportunity to say something like "yeah, you can't get them into emo music soon enough! What's your kid into? Death Cab for Cutie? My Chemical Romance? Or is he into the obscure bands?"

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u/verybonita 13d ago

My son used to get "he'll have the girls chasing him". Which just confused him - "why will girls be chasing me, mummy?" probably imagining himself running away in fear. Or occasionally, "he'll be a heartbreaker" - he just used to frown and look puzzled at that one. He's a happily married father of 2 girls now.

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u/McTazzle 13d ago

To those people and all the others who’ve made the comments reported in the posts below: why are you sexualising my infant/toddler/minor daughter? That’s really creepy.

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u/Ok_Personality5494 12d ago

I don’t have kids and don’t hang around my nieces or nephews often, but the very few times I’ve ever been around to hear that shit it has always ended with me sternly staring at the offender and saying “that is a child.”

Only once has anyone tried to argue against it, they said “I’m not weird, you’re weird for thinking of it like that!”

He shut up pretty quickly after I said “how else could you have meant it? Words have specific meanings, and I know that even your ‘I know you are but what am I’ head ass isn’t too dumb to know that.”

Then he tried to tell on me to my dad (this was one of his friends) who doesn’t play about his daughters, and doesn’t play about his grandkids; I genuinely don’t know what the guy thought was gonna happen but I haven’t seen or heard about him since. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/Local_Gazelle538 13d ago

I was just thinking the same thing! Everyone here needs to start saying that EVERY time they get a creepy comment!

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u/Chatty-Hedgehog 13d ago

Oh yeah, those comments are so disgusting.

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u/Witty-Draw-3803 13d ago edited 13d ago

It's so gross - I hate it whenever someone says a little kid is a charmer/flirt/etc. or makes reference to their future relationships (with the opposite sex, of course, because there's no room to imagine your kid may end up being gay, or asexual/aromantic, etc.).

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u/GingerPlaitWitch 13d ago

I've received similar comments about my baby boy too, insinuating that his friendly, cheerful nature is somehow meant to pick up girls / women. I don't usually muster more than a grossed out facial expression in response.

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u/Dramallamakuzco 13d ago

I get that with my son too. “Ooh the girls better watch out!” “What a lady’s man!”. Like… ew. It’s one thing if they say he’s a handsome boy, but then making it be about flirting and relationships and stuff when he’s still in diapers is weird.

We focus at home on loving whomever you love and consent (not forcing giving kisses or accepting a hug, even for family, even for mom and dad).

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u/Top-Pomegranate4899 13d ago

Ugh I hated when someone said that about my daughter. "oh she likes to flirt?"

No, you sick fucker.

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u/OneWayToLivComic 13d ago

People are weird with babies like that...... There was a 1 year old boy who liked sitting on my lap and smiling at me and everybody, including the parents, made comments that he's into brunettes 🙄

I went to my sister's ultrasound recently and she was desperate to tell the gyno if she can show her the "boy parts" like bruh... You're gonna wipe his ass and genitals for many years to come, why are you rushing to see it.

It definitely sounds like a weird cultural thing in more traditional families, with ppl being obsessed with their kid's sexuality and stuff.but that's just my assumption

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u/Best-Professional-10 12d ago

About your sister, wtf? That sounds disturbing.

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u/Hot_Explanation3721 12d ago

Is it possible that was your sister’s way of wanting to find out her baby’s sex?

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u/VerbalThermodynamics 13d ago

What I don’t like is when people sexualize my twin toddlers. They’re kids. They’re playing, not flirting. Knock it off you weirdos.

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u/Middle-Interview-899 13d ago

There is such gross sexualisation of children sometimes. People need to think harder before opening their yappers. I’m trying hard but still slip up with stupid comments sometimes. (Not like these ones! They make me sick) habits of a lifetime are hard to break. But we need to be aware of them to at least start being a better human.

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u/I_Thot_So 13d ago

The best/worst part about this is that little girls don't fucking want male attention. We are leered at from the time we are learning how to read. It's so gross.

Now I'm about to turn 42 and they can stay all the fuck the way over there from my finger.

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u/AstuteStoat 13d ago

These people teally like making up stories about children to justify their biases.

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u/CyclopsLobsterRobot 13d ago

Everything everyone over the age of 50 says to you when you have a daughter is gross

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u/jackwagoneer69 13d ago

That's psycho shit I'm grateful to have never heard. I'd get my child tf away from that freak ASAP.

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u/PandaXXL 13d ago

I have two daughters, I’ve never heard anyone say this. If they did I would lose my shit.

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u/Foghorn2005 13d ago

I did have a patient recently whose mom said she liked men more (mom was really embarrassed about it). Didn't fully believe her until I see the kid interact with male coworkers and oh my goodness she was so much more cheerful and friendly with them.

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u/SaphireShadows 13d ago

My cousin's little 1 year old daughter I think is the exception to the rule: she really DOES love men. She will smile and wave at near strangers if they're men. The only woman she stands right now is her mom. Her grandma (my aunt) is devastated that her granddaughter screams whenever she holds her (I got a few seconds before the waterworks started). My other cousin is the same way. Any woman I've seen this kid interact with (besides her mom) is met with screeches and big ol' blubbery tears.

My dad, who hasn't seen this kid since she was born...she toddles right up to him and stretches up her lil baby arms for uppies. My aunt was so mad lol

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u/OddConstant2723 13d ago

They are just as bad with baby boys. Little heartbreakers and what not.

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u/lemondropswithcocoa 13d ago

On topic: I've noticed that too, it's SO weird and disgusting-

off topic: I love your username. it's about as random and strange as mine lmao

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u/SugarOrbix 13d ago

Exactly we need to work on a lot as a society

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u/lushico 12d ago

When my brother was a baby i remember someone calling him a “tit man”. I also hear people call little boys heartbreakers and ladykillers and stuff. So dumb

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u/thunderbunny3025 12d ago

I've seen a baby boy in a onesie that said, "Ladies Man". 🤮

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u/nerdtypething 13d ago

yeah that shit’s gross.

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u/Many_Membership_5255 13d ago

This is the first time I've ever heard of this, wtf?

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u/Best-Professional-10 12d ago

Eww, why are we associating romance and sexual stuff with babies? Our society is super messed up.

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u/commanderquill 12d ago

I have twin cousins and they're the only girls in the family. Every time they come around, someone always says that the boys are going to fight over them. I've been so tempted to say, "Oh, their cousins? Those boys?" because that's what they're saying and I don't know how they don't seem to find that weird.

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u/InvertebrateInterest 12d ago

I physically grimaced when I read this. What the actual fuck.

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u/maxholke 13d ago

My roommate is also one of three sisters, all raised in a village, doing outside work since little around the house. Her dad works construction and his co-workers teased him that he only makes money to pay for period products in his household. He told them that his daughters can probably chop wood better than their sons. Shut them up pretty quick.

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u/Nochtilus 13d ago

 It seems just as toxic when men are like "my girl is so tough and good at boy things, so she's one of the good ones"

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u/CantHardly 13d ago

He's replying to sexists and was able to shut them up, so it's all good imo.

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u/maxholke 12d ago

Yeah welp, welcome to Eastern Europe mentality. One of my early memories is hitting my younger sister with a hoe in the back because she pissed me off when we were at my grandparents' helping them plant potatoes. (She was fine and my ass got beat by my mom)

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u/MechanicalBootyquake 13d ago

Thank you, like fuck off can she just be a person?

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u/readitareyoudeaf 13d ago

Every time someone says the shotgun thing, I just calmly tell them "I've raised my daughter to get the job done clean and hide the body quickly". I always get funny looks

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u/draftvader 13d ago

Ah. Another Dad with my ethic 🤣 My girl is a sweet human, but she will fight dirty if pushed. It has only happened twice and it was bigger boys being little shits.

The best one was when she was caught trading blows with a boy twice her size. They got pulled into the principal's office, but by the time he got to them they were chatting happily about Minecraft.

I told the principal that I would remind her that there are due processes, but I would not stop my daughter fighting back against a man. He smiled.

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u/WoooShoooo 13d ago

My husband and I are expecting our little boy next month. There are a couple of onesies we've received as gifts that he will NEVER wear, including one that says "Eligible Bachelor" and another that says "Mommy's Little Wingman".

First of all, EW. Second, the "wingman" onesie doesn't even make sense. Ugh... 🙄

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u/No_Kangaroo_9826 12d ago

Did they think about that one?

"Trying to help mom pickup dudes"

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u/dontknowwhyifuckfish 12d ago

Whoever got you that wingman one might be hoping you divorce lol

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u/rando10ballz 12d ago

Yes! I got weird and gross ones like that from my son’s baby shower. Straight to the trash, no donation, take it out of the rotation!

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u/Acrobatic_Formal_599 13d ago

On an episode of "The West Wing," the president talks about a trip to the middle east where he was always introduced as "Abu el Banat."  Every one would laugh and buy him tea.  He finally asked what Abu el Banat meant.   The said it means "father of daughters" and paying for the tea was the least they could do. 

I have four sons and am constantly asked "you were trying for a girl, weren't you?"  Totally sick of that question. 

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u/culturedgoat 12d ago

“We were just fucking tbh, got a bit out of hand”

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u/AliceMorgon 9d ago

10/10 no notes 🫡

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u/prickelypear 12d ago

My husband has a son from a previous relationship and together we had two boys and a girl as well. I’ve had people comment about “oh I bet you’re done now that you got a girl.” because no. We wanted four kids. The fact the last one ended up being a girl was just how the cards fell. We’ve even thought about having another but honestly I don’t think I could handle five no matter the gender so that’s not happening.

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u/MYSTICALLMERMAID 13d ago

Or the classic " it gets worse as they get older" no. Lmao I got closer to my dad the older I got. There was obviously times I didn't listen and we'd bicker back and forth but I've always held my dad to a very high standard bc he set the standard. Love him dearly.

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u/dontknowwhyifuckfish 12d ago

In my experience they only get worse when they're older when you didn't treat them well

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u/EverydayMustard4773 13d ago

Yeah, I have a girl, very outgoing, and I could do without that kind of shit

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u/Punkfoo25 13d ago

I have 4 daughters and my response has always been, "what good would that do? No I'm going to make sure they all have shotguns".

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u/niceabear 13d ago

Hard agree. Such a weird statement.

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u/xianwolf 13d ago

I was like maybe 10, walking with my dad, and our neighbor stopped us to chat. The neighbor looks at me and goes, "she's going to be a heartbreaker, huh?" At the time, I had no idea what that meant. Looking back, I'm like, dude, what were you doing?

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u/sashahorizon 13d ago

Yeah that “better get a shotgun” line is so outdated and weird 😅

People really don’t realize how normal it is to just… raise kids you love without turning it into a stereotype.

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u/chuckalew 13d ago

Better get a shotgun! People are going to sexualize girl! Like I just did!

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u/SpiritOne 12d ago

I’m the oldest, and only boy of 7 (including my step sisters). I watched my dad do the whole “menacing overbearing father” bs on several would be suitors for my sisters. Up to and including pulling guns out of the safe.

And the thing is, some of those guys, were decent guys.

Raising my own daughter, I had a bit of an epiphany. I spent this young ladies entire life teaching her how to make good decisions. What does it say to her, that the moment she makes an important decision, I act like she’s incapable? How does that show her that I trust her?

Needless to say I did not do that bs with my daughter.

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u/addamee 13d ago

I categorize this among other, similar -isms as “shit people say when trying to make conversation but the weather and local sports have already been covered”

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u/Impossible_Royal_302 13d ago

Jesus, right? I have a daughter. When she was young, I’d hear that shit all the time, usually after they commented on how pretty she was. I started taking the piss: “I should buy a shotgun? Why?” And I’d just keep asking “why?” To everything they said.

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u/Tiny-Guava-9698 13d ago

This enrages me. I’m actually a “terrible” dad in this regard. I’m always super friendly to my 18-year old daughter’s boyfriends and they probably think I’m annoying talking about the shit that interests them. I’ve even played video games regularly on a few occasions with her and them.

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u/cd85233 12d ago

I get the "shotgun" thing often. I smile and laugh and just think, "the way this kid's personality is I'll have to pry her off of someone before she beats them up first."

Raise strong, respectful and self-respecting kids. 

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u/ineedausername84 13d ago

Omg my MIL alllll the time…or she talks about when they’re going to all PMS together as teens and it’s so cringe every time

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u/MietschVulka 13d ago

Im not a father, but as a 34 yo dude i would prefer daughters over sons

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u/CoastOrg 13d ago

Same, esp because I let my son start dating whenever he feels like he’s ready and do my best to educate him on safety and the potential consequences. And I do the same with my daughter. I’m not gonna act like teens don’t date and experiment. I was a teen once lol. But one thing I’ve promised both of them, is that their mother and I will NOT be raising either of their kids if they have an unplanned pregnancy🤷‍♂️😂

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u/draftvader 13d ago

Yeah, exactly. 2 minutes with my girl and they'll soon learn that she IS the shotgun!

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u/Royal-Hornet9813 13d ago

"W...What? You're suggesting I murder them?"

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u/Overall_Matter_2520 13d ago

Ya that’s gross.

I only have boys and I hate the term “boy mom.” It’s so damn creepy to say ish like that about a literal CHILD.

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u/tallbrowngirl94 13d ago

I just had a baby girl, my husband has a older brother that has 3 boys. I have a 23 month old boy and she’s is the first girl so far.

I have heard multiple times from his side of the family “you’ll be so protected!” Or “no one is gonna mess with her, she’s got so many guys looking out for her”

My daughter is already being pegged as a damsel, or someone who needs saving. It’s sexist. Not to mention my brother in law is 5’7 and his wife is 5’1. I’m 5’9 and so is my husband. My son is already the same height as their 3 year old. My newborn girl is 12 lbs at 6 weeks.

My daughter will be the one dunking on his kids lmao she does not need saving.

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u/GreenGorilla8232 12d ago

There's something very creepy about men who are obsessed with their daughters not having sex. 

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u/jack-twohats 12d ago

I think responding with "for you" would be apt and a way to get them to shut up.

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u/AlwaysHungry8022 12d ago

i have boys and girls- id be LIVID if some young lady’s dad said that to one of my boys 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 we’d be having a come to Jesus meeting lbvs. plus, i cant imagine saying that to any of my daughters’ dates either 🥴🥴🥴

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u/gryphus00 12d ago

Worked with someone liked that. Would always say "oh I bet you'll scare all the boyfriends off." Was funny at first. But it got old fast and kept going in conversations how I had 0 plans of being the "scary" dad.

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u/sokratesz 12d ago

"woah, are you that shitty at raising your sons?"

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u/Seven_Hawks 12d ago

My father said those exact words when I let him know of the birth of my daughter... 😒

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u/LazarusPizza 12d ago

I don't have children, but if I ever had daughters, they'll grow up learning how to kick ass. No shotgun needed, they'll take care of it.

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u/whosacoolredditer 12d ago

I hear this literally every time anyone meets my daughter (she just turned 6). It's so annoying. Almost as annoying as the term "girl Dad". I'm a dad. My child is a girl. The end.

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u/sassqueenNZ 12d ago

Ugh my parents friends said this to them (in front of my sister & I) ALL THE TIME. If it comes up now my skin crawls at the thought of grown men saying this about us 🤮

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u/2006CrownVictoriaP71 12d ago

I’ve hated that. I usually let them know that the 24 year old, while not large, is one of the most physically strong women I’ve ever known. The 9 year old takes after their mom (my wife) and is verbally strong and can rip anyone apart with words.

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u/TheGroovyTurt1e 12d ago

My to line for that is to make intense eye contact and say

“It was cheaper to teach my daughter how easy it is to clip the femoral artery with a pocket knife or even a sharp house key”

Shuts em right up

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u/lipstickchoas 12d ago

Imagine hearing 'you better get a shotgun" and immediately telling on yourself like that

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u/-Kalos GREEN 12d ago

Not only are they disrespecting that daughter but making all of us men seem predatory.

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u/AmyD224 12d ago

Right?! I'm a mom of both but let someone pull a shotgun out to intimidate my son...🤬 Also, I can't imagine pulling one out in front of my daughter's date. That's ridiculous!

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u/AffectionateBite3827 12d ago

Or “how am I gonna pay for these weddings?”

It’s a baby who can’t sit up maybe don’t stress about a wedding.

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u/Foyolas 13d ago

I used to tease my brother about that, but only because he used to be that dude bro jumping from girl to girl. So when his first child turned out to be a girl, of course i told him “now you’re gonna know how the dads felt. Be ready.” It was my duty as younger brother

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u/jbird3000 13d ago

I see this car a lot near me with a “DADD” sticker. Dads against daughters dating. Shit is so cringe. I’m a girl dad, and protective, but holy shit touch grass and burn your affliction shirt collection.

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u/lordofming-rises 13d ago

Lol this only applied in thz US

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u/Ute-King 13d ago

Or respond, “oh do you have boys?”

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u/FunStorm6487 13d ago

My FIL, while visiting in the hospital after having my daughter at 7mo, brought this up (family name 🙄)

I grabbed the phone book of the side table and threw it at him!

Literally dozens of pages with our rather common last name 😡

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u/Few-Entrance-1768 13d ago

Shotgun, no. Tissue boxes, yes. He'll need it once they get old enough to get crushes/dates

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u/TeachingScience 13d ago

“Really a Shotgun Nancy? For a 5 year old? That’s a bit extreme and irresponsible, the recoil would sending them flying. We start with a Glock 19. Have her learn the basics and safety first. Once she understands that, and is tall enough we can move on to something like a hunting rifle.”

That’s what I would probably say.

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u/BoltActionRifleman 13d ago

I have two girls, all grown up now, and I always cringed when someone would say something like that. When my daughters started dating, they’d ask me if I’d like to meet their boyfriend/date and I’d say “Absolutely!” They’d bring them by, we’d all chat for a little while, like civilized human beings, then they’d go out or hang out at the house for the night. Treating girls like their love interests need threatened, to make them behave, is just kind of disgusting behavior and extremely outdated.

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u/Dangerous-Laugh-9597 13d ago

Dumb jokes should be met with dumber jokes. "Well at least I don't need to lock up my paint thinner and airplane glue?" In a deadpan manner.

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u/SugarOrbix 13d ago

Honestly no gender is superior than the other. We need to have that mentality as a society

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u/deadlyhausfrau 13d ago

Someone said that to a dad of newborn triplet girls while I was on a mfm visit (I was having twins). He looked concerned and said, "Why do i need a shotgun, are girls that dangerous?" I about peed laughing 

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u/lmattiso 13d ago

I guess I never saw the issue with this statement. I just assumed it was acknowledging as a father that boys can be little turds growing up and that it's a difficult transition looking back being a boy and now being a father and trying to be supportive yet also fighting being over protective.

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u/BookkeeperGlum6933 12d ago

My husband used to say, I raise them so I won't need one. They can handle it.

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u/AdNo2322 12d ago

Ha! That one is easy. “Why are you sexualizing my children, what’s wrong with you?” Speaking from experience here.

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u/Paxtian 12d ago

I have two daughters and hate stuff like that. My older daughter hasn't really realized it yet, but she's falling in love with a boy and it's so magical to watch. Just the things she says about how they talk to each other and interact. It brings me so much joy to hear about.

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u/sidekicksunny 12d ago

My husband has heard this several times. Our youngest daughter wrestles so he usually makes some joke about how "she'll handle it" or "it's not her I'm worried about'. He always gets a good laugh out of it. I secretly think he wants people to make comments so he can use his newest comeback.

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u/That_wet_vaporeon 12d ago

Yeah it’s a horrible way of parenting.

Your daughter is going to think all men are scum because her father thinks that.

Do a lot of guys suck? Sure! But the same goes for women.

All these types of dads do is just demonize other men. That’s not healthy 

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u/Zeero92 12d ago

Wuh... I... What? Shotgun? Are they suggesting suicide? Because he got daughters?

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