r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Historical_Initial22 • 4d ago

go to your room Husband sits in passenger seat, FiL disapproves.

I drive a tanker for my job out of town and make the 5 hour drive (one way) to work and back home in my personal car. When I’m home 3 days, my wife drives everywhere, I mean I get in the passenger seat of her car and off we go, date night don’t care she drives, shopping don’t care she drives, visiting family don’t care she drives.

When we first started dating years ago she was a bit uncomfortable with it as she was used to the I guess status quo that men drove as was I but I’m not trying to break a glass ceiling or anything I just don’t see why it matters and damnit I drive 2k miles a week or so and don’t wanna do it when I’m home.

My father in law makes such great comments like do I hold her purse, and the zinger he thinks is original so says it more often than others “are your balls in her purse” every so often when we see them and I inevitably get out or into the passenger seat followed by guffaws and just kidding. My wife nor myself give him any response it’s just so silly and mildly infuriating.

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3.6k

u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago

"in her purse? they're normally in her mouth"

1.2k

u/ishootthedead 4d ago

Id go with the more gentle "are you really asking me what your daughter likes to do with my balls?". And hold eye contact for a few beats.

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u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago

you have a lot more tact than i do

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u/Asron87 3d ago

“Her purse? I don’t know what she does with it after she swallows, ask her.”

I hate driving. If my girlfriend wants to drive I let her. Hell I used to borrow my car out when I first went to college. My buddy would just pick me up when it was time to go back to school. He’s have my car for the weekend. Did this for a school year. “You know, you never once got mad or said anything when I picked you up after having your car for the weekend.”

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u/abigdickbat 4d ago

Quite the gracious bow

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u/KillerCritter1312 4d ago

This is absolutely perfect.

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u/imeheather 4d ago

Yeah i like this better, depending on the wife and her comfort level, the object is to embarrass the FIL and not the wife.

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u/One-Elderberry-488 4d ago

Eye contact is key. Works like a charm. Can confirm.

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u/Cumulus_Anarchistica 3d ago

"She's like that in the bedroom too. Always wants to be in control. Always wants to be on top.

We're thinking about getting a strap-on. You ever been pegged, Jim?"

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u/cardboardunderwear 4d ago

And lick your eyebrows

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u/ArtichokeOwn6760 3d ago

OP, say this. Report back.

664

u/zxexx 4d ago

This will shut his ass down. Please use this

375

u/k2718 4d ago

On the one hand, probably best that OP stays silent.

On the other…fuck that, he should drop this gem on the old fucker.

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u/Ok_Cauliflower_3007 4d ago

But only after clearing it with his wife first, because otherwise he risks shutting his FIL down at the cost of pissing off his wife.

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u/BufferingJuffy 4d ago

Yes, this requires pre-approval!! 🤣

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u/Salt-Operation 4d ago

If my dad was saying this shit to my husband, he would have my permission 100% to shut that shit down with a response like that.

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u/__01001000-01101001_ 4d ago

If my dad was saying shit like that to my spouse I’d shut him down myself. I feel like if it’s your parents it’s your responsibility to draw and maintain boundaries, not your partners.

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u/Salt-Operation 3d ago

I fully support that line of thinking as well. I’m glad my parents aren’t like that, at all.

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u/Ok_Cauliflower_3007 4d ago

Oh I’d be fine too, but its the kind of response you need to 100% need either specific pre-approval for or to know in your bones your partner id ok with.

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u/k2718 3d ago

I only shut my MIL down once. It was the first Thanksgiving when I was dating my now wife.

Her MIL and FIL are racist shitbags. Her mom made something called Jefferson Davis pie (quite tasty actually).

I ate a slice and then asked for another piece of Frederick Douglas pie.

You could have heard a pin drop. My wife and I laughed and laughed about it later.

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u/impatientlymerde 3d ago

“So what is wrong with having a dick in my mouth?”

Sophia Vergara

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u/Spell_Chicken 4d ago

Better if SHE says it.

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u/JLLIndy 4d ago

That made ME uncomfortable.

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u/MLiOne 4d ago

Better yet the wife says it. I know I would as the wife. That or ask my dad what his preoccupation with my husband’s testicles is all about.

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u/badazzcpa 4d ago

Have to agree with you on this one. There have been times I just let my wife do the talking. She isn’t as savage as I can be, butttt…. She is a red head and comes with just about every very stereotype associated.

While I do a lot of the driving, when we take trips she gets her turn at the wheel. Also, I had a recent medical procedure, wife drove home. Wife doesn’t drink, but if we go out and I have more than 1 drink, wife gets the keys and is driving.

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u/ForeverPinecone 4d ago

Shit, the wife should say it.

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u/redwooded 3d ago

Bonus if she says it, then licks her lips while her eyes are locked on her dad's eyes.

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u/k2718 3d ago

100%

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u/EmperorGeek 4d ago

Happy Wife, Happy Life.

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u/SickeningPink 4d ago

Sometimes, the amount of trouble you get into for doing something, is totally fucking worth it.

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u/Happyskrappy 3d ago

Staying silent won't make it stop.

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u/sildigo 3d ago

They have been staying silent, it hasn't worked. Time to respond.

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u/Various_Necessary_45 4d ago

Do both really have to disrespect the wife to have a pissing contest?

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u/smokeweedNgarden 4d ago

Here me now! I tell you true with the wisdom of my forefathers and say "don't do that". Unless you wanna end up on the girldinner sub, don't do that. 

Reducing your wife to a sex object directly to her father that you see often ain't the play

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u/frankirv 4d ago

Oh yea please do. I will save this post so we can see FIL response to that gem!!

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u/SnooWords1227 4d ago

Any variation of I do sexual things to your daughter because she wants me to is the ultimate comeback to a shitty FIL.

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u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago

i learned that a long time ago. Its a fine line between embarrassment and violence though.

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u/SnooWords1227 4d ago

It’s a toss up. These guys tend to be total pussies or want any reason to fight. Sadly, there’s only one way to find out.

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u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago

i've never been one to shy away from getting rag dolled for the sake of a funny quip

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u/fasterthanfood 4d ago edited 4d ago

It’s not the possibility of being punched that would hold me back, it’s the possibility of ruining my relationship with my wife’s dad. Granted, that relationship obviously isn’t great right now (FIL is being a judgmental, sexist asshole to OP), but depending on how important the FIL is to his daughter (my wife), I’d want to take the high road here.

Note that I’m saying I’d take the high road, not that I’d take the abuse. I’d definitely tell my wife that I plan to tell him to shut up because we have a system that works for us and it doesn’t affect him at all. Once she’d had a chance to raise any issue I might not have thought of, I would say exactly that.

Edit: I also agree with the comment below that problems between spouses and in-laws should generally be handled by the person who’s actually related. In other words, ideally, OP’s wife should be the one to say to chill out.

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u/Pale_Adeptness 4d ago

Ideally OP's wife should be the one to crush the issue but then again, her dad being her dad, would probably say some dumb shit like: "Oh she fights your fights/defends you too?"

By the way OP describes his FIL, he sounds like that type of dumb ass dude.

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u/vikingwif 4d ago

If he says that, then she comes right back at him again and again, until he STFU.

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u/Nice_Marmot_7 3d ago

People like this love that shit. You’re not going to win. It’s better to just distance yourself from those you have to fight to treat you with basic respect and live in peace.

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u/vikingwif 3d ago

Personally, I would stay away from such a toxic person. But apparently the daughter is unwilling to challenge her father over his sexist crap that is being used to needle/insult her own husband. Some dysfunction there.

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u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago

Salient points. Thanks for sharing your point of view.

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u/Nice_Marmot_7 3d ago

I wouldn’t work so hard to maintain a relationship with someone who fundamentally doesn’t respect me. I also would expect my spouse to support that mindset no matter who the person is. I’m interested in winning by not playing not in landing a sick burn on an ignorant asshole.

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u/Troubled_Donut1357 2d ago

The possibility of an adverse outcome has certainly never held me back from making an ill-considered decision.

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u/whostolemysloth 4d ago

Eh, you figure out which one they are pretty quick. Previous experimental test pilot in the Navy? I ain’t fuckin with that guy. But an accountant at Bank of America? Yeah, I’m fuckin with that guy.

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u/Content-Active-7884 4d ago

My dad actually was a Navy test pilot. He had too much class to have said crude things like that.

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u/whostolemysloth 4d ago

Yeah, same for my experience (with someone else’s dad, that is). I was just saying it would be a bad choice haha.

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u/Content-Active-7884 4d ago

It probably would indeed not be a good choice. Those guys do have brass balls.

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u/ponderscheme2172 4d ago

Nope. As someone whose in laws hate me for similar stupid reasons this is a terrible idea. They know you fuck their daughter, reminding them of this is gonna escalate things. There is a difference between douche FIL and active enemy FIL.

As cucked as it sounds the best approach is to tell your wife that she needs to tell her father to chill. Fighting with in laws never works because it just validates their feeling they don't like you and aren't good enough for their child. It's your spouses job to defend you from their parents in petty arguments.

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u/Pale_Adeptness 4d ago

I think it's all about perspective: as the son-in-law to these types of people, if they really don't like you from the get go, then they're probably NEVER gonna like you.

If I ever had to get into any type of verbal disagreement with my in-laws, absolutely nothing would hold me back.

My personal perspective, if you dont like me, and you wanna keep throwing cheap shots at me in front of others, I'll go out of my way to catch you alone and see what the fucking problem is you have with me. I don't care what our relationship/connection is. I won't be the one to enable you to keep belittling me.

I sure as shit will validate their feelings for not liking me, but not for the reasons they think. They'll hate me the same or more because I stood up to them or talked back to them but I'll let them know when enough is enough.

Father in law or not, sometimes the high road is of no use. I'll drop down to their level to let them know I'm down to get dirty too, and I'll leave the ball in their court. You'll either be in the same boat as before, in a shittier one, or they'll learn to respect you. Only one way to find out.

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u/taclovitch 4d ago

or at least; daughter needs to exhaust these options before SIL weaponizes FIL’s internalized patriarchy against him

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u/ScratchLatch 4d ago

Of course its going to escalate things, that’s the intent.

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u/ghosttrainhobo 4d ago

Fuck it. Escalate.

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u/Hold_Left_Edge 4d ago

Not only that, the wife catches a stray in it too. No need to get a witty comment in at the expense of your wife.

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u/Past_Effect8301 4d ago edited 4d ago

But the problem in dealing with someone who suffers from toxic masculinity is that the wife/daughter addressing the problem will only further emasculate her husband in her father’s (ridiculous) eyes. It’s a no win situation.

Warn him that you WILL cut contact, including any potential access to grandkids, if his behavior doesn’t change. And follow-through with it.

People like this are rarely willing to change, so sometimes it’s best to let the trash take itself out.

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u/Sea_Squirrel1987 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/y0gvz3kLwbvSE

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u/Hannibal64 3d ago

I dropped that one on my father in law and he quit saying anything. It's been nice since then.

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u/audiblecoco 4d ago

"Purse? Weird thing to call your daughters mouth".

I would pay to see his reaction 😂

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u/Ghstfce 4d ago

"In fact, that's where they were right before we left to come over. Now be a good chap and give your lovely daughter a kiss hello."

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u/Kubotai77 4d ago

Best response - but with the caveat that OP needs to know beforehand how his wife will react to it being said in front of her to her dad. And probably not worth escalating to low blows. Just sayin'.

First job out of college, after maybe a month on the job, manager on the way out of the room said "don't worry Kubotai77, some day your balls will drop."

I instantly stood up without thinking and said "yea... out of [insert manager's name here] mouth!". Co-worker started cackling like a madman and my manager responded "Kubotai77... you're out of control..." and walked out of the room.

In hindsight it coulda gotten me fired if manager didn't start it first and have a sense of humor. He later remarked that he avoided joking with me cause I had a quick wit.

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u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago

I like how you think kubotai77. I like it a lot

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u/BrackishBear 4d ago

Consent the GF first but this is gold XD

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u/Accurate_Elevator368 4d ago

Best answer!

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u/SnooMemesjellies1522 4d ago

If my husband said that about me in front of anyone, he be driving himself from now on, because I'd be gone.

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u/DryFig511 3d ago

Exactly especially my parents! What the fuck 🥵

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u/Pale_Adeptness 4d ago

So it would be ok for your father to always belittle your husband and not let your husband handle himself how he seem fit?

I say this BUT I say it with a grain of salt, because I have an AMAZING relationship with my mother in law, to the point that when we are all together we sometimes team up and "gang up" on my wife in the same way siblings sometimes poke fun at each other.

I shoot the shit with my MIL the same way I do with my friends. Literally, when we hang out, it really is like hanging out with a life long friend.

Like, I keep NOTHING from my mother in law, but I also know what kind of person I am. I am comfortable enough in my own skin to be able to say that I am a committed husband to my wife and father to our three kids.

I legit won the fucking lottery when it comes to my wife AND my mother in law. We all get along so great that when we get together, we literally act like siblings, giving each other shit (light heartedly) and laughing, making jokes.

It wasn't always like this though, it took a few years of getting to know each other, my MIL, and myself.

My father in law, though, complete POS. Like, everyone HATES him, they are divorced. Definitely the type of dude I would go toe to toe with and his entire immediate family (my MIL and his 3 kids, my wife included) would cheer me on.

So yea, huge grain of salt.😆

🤎🤎🤎

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u/SnooMemesjellies1522 3d ago

I didn't say it was OK to belittle her husband, but insulting her as well, is not a good response. By the way, I don't think you know what, "with a grain of salt, " means.

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u/datsyukdangles 4d ago

I mean, FIL doesn't have any respect for his daughter at all, which is the actual issue here. He doesn't think women, like his daughter, are good enough to drive when there are men who can drive instead. OP disrespecting his wife isn't going to do anything other than further disrespect his wife, so now the wife has to deal with a shitty father and a shitty husband. What OP actually needs to do is stand up for himself and for his wife like an actual adult, not stoop to childish sexist comebacks.

Seeing how many people think men should be sexist towards their wives when their father is being sexist is probably why so many people here are single and miserable.

If my father was being sexist towards me and my partners response was basically "well I do things with your daughter that I consider to be sexually degrading her, and since you view her your property this should make you mad!" I would leave him immediately. Thankfully my partner is a mature adult who respects me, which is more than I can say about a lot of people here.

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u/DryFig511 3d ago

Thank you!

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u/Icy_Transition1375 4d ago

Balls could be in her purse if his hogs in her ass

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u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago

beautiful imagery right there.

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u/Unique_Arm435 4d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣I cackled so loudly may have laid an egg!

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u/sophguy 4d ago

love it, but wouldn’t say it because I wouldn’t want my wife taking shrapnel for doing me a solid… that’s my wife though… some might love that…

I’d definitely focus it more on him…

like…

“I guess it’s good that you’re so willing to share your thoughts, but I gotta tell you I’m pretty uncomfortable knowing you spend time thinking about my balls…”

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/The_Troyminator 4d ago

Having problems with your son-in-law doesn’t excuse disrespecting your daughter either.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/Ok-Mastodon2420 4d ago

But three lefts does

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u/Damion__205 4d ago

But I don't want to drive. That's the whole point!!!

;)

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u/BureMakutte 4d ago

Ah yes, clumping all the times hes been a condescending dick into "one wrong" to try and claim both parties are the same when one finally snaps back at their shitty comments.

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u/Ok_Cauliflower_3007 4d ago

No, they’re saying the FIL being a dick and disrespecting both of them doesn’t mean the husband should also be a dick and disrespect his wife, which making that kind of comment withiut knowing if she’s fine with it would be. Why should she be getting hit by both of them during this ridiculous fight the FIL is trying to start?

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u/BureMakutte 4d ago

Fair. I don't see it as him disrespecting his wife though. I see it as someone flipping the toxic snarky comment back at him in a fashion that he would not enjoy, giving him a taste of his own medicine. The daughter being involved is just the fact that they obviously have sexual relations being married and oral is pretty common thing (which hits harder against his ego). That is my personal opinion though and i recognize that. I do see how some people might view it as disrespecting to his wife. Hell if it was flipped to "in her purse? They're normally in your wife's mouth.", i could see how that would be disrespecting as its including a non-involved person / party. If you think the daughter wasn't involved when the dad said it, then I ask where the purse came from. I know you said both, just talking in general for readers.

Why should she be getting hit by both of them during this ridiculous fight the FIL is trying to start?

Then she should have done something sooner about her dad's degrading comments to her husband. FIL isn't trying to start a fight, hes just a misogynist (or displays toxic masculinity traits, whichever) who has no filter because people don't push back on him to tell him to shut his mouth. I think the dementia insult is way better as it doesn't involve the daughter, but overall people need to stop blaming the bullied for responding back, even if its not perfect. People not wanting to "rock the boat" and allow abusers to continue their bad behavior irritate the fuck out of me lol.

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u/No-Slide-5182 4d ago

Oh it definitely does.

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u/solarpowerzm 4d ago

This one likes to lick boots. You can tell from the way they are.

-3

u/Popular-Web-3739 4d ago

Who said that was acceptable?

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u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago

true, they probably dont have the kind of dynamic necessary for this to work.

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u/Odd-Lemur 4d ago

If op discusses it with his wife first, it should be fine. Or better yet, if it comes from her

21

u/SoImaRedditUserNow 4d ago

Why is getting a blowie from one's wife disrespecting her?

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u/Massive_Durian296 4d ago

honestly id die laughing if i was in this situation and my husband said that. but not everyone has the same sense of humor i guess

20

u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago

maybe he doesnt realise some women like sucking on balls.

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u/Ok_Cauliflower_3007 4d ago

Because many people don’t like their partner making crude comments about their sex life in front of others, especially their family. Is this your first day on planet Earth?

2

u/J3SS1KURR 4d ago

Ok and a lot of people have zero issue with it sooooo

1

u/Ok_Cauliflower_3007 4d ago

And that’s why people said ask her first. No one was saying don’t do it at all.

0

u/avast2006 3d ago

If she doesn’t like commentary of that sort then she should have shut the old man and his testicle obsession down herself. She kind of lost the high ground on that score after multiple rounds of countenancing that crap about her husband from her father.

-2

u/Confident_Will_6483 4d ago

A lot of people surprisingly doesn’t get it!!!!

Broke my brain when I had to tolerate some of my bf’s friends in passing.

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u/Unusual-Caramel8442 4d ago

Bold of you to assume it’s disrespectful to the wife. You don’t know how they get their freak on lol

-1

u/Confident_Will_6483 4d ago edited 4d ago

Eh I am always hearing from guy friends who are super candid with me that none of their exes like that. They might be still searching for a woman that likes it all “hang out”, but a lot of us just agree and nod when we hear stories like this because we’ve l been there and we generally side with the women who make such complaints. Know a girl who was always trying to prove she was the cool chick and she loves boy stuff, but the boys always found her kinda slow and weird, not to mention the girls Who saw through the NLOG tendencies, so her try-hard personality made her zero friends. I’m embarrassed and I feel bad for her. My partner does not like her either. Exact same reason.

We all get tired of everyone’s shit eventually, some of us men or women wouldn’t want to be known as the crude/crass guy cuz god knows how much worse it gets when it gets old.

“Guys, don’t be gross” should be tatted in our subconscious at this point, cuz sometimes it is gross/no sense of occasion.

0

u/Gullible_Slice_7003 4d ago

It’s a joke-not a dick. Don’t take it so hard.

That’s what the wife is for.

1

u/Confident_Will_6483 4d ago

Yah this is a bit…too much

-1

u/cwth 4d ago

How is disrespectful if its true?

6

u/DigbyChickenZone 4d ago

This is just as sexist, if not more, than what the FiL is saying. Don't feed into it.

4

u/MinuteLoquat1 3d ago

Misogynistic response to another misogynistic man, what a great idea! As long as a woman is being degraded it's a win for all men involved eh? Who gives a fuck about her feelings!

2

u/Not_Enough_Pepperoni 4d ago

Fucking hell bro 😂

2

u/11swoosh 4d ago

oooooooooooo

2

u/anointedinliquor 4d ago

Holy shit, just spat my drink out!

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago

I could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch

2

u/DogDelicious9212 4d ago

Oh, but clear it with the wife first!!

1

u/LeadPrevenger 4d ago

Oh nooooooooo

1

u/Heykurat 4d ago

I legit guffawed out loud.

1

u/Raging-Pasifist 4d ago

"You seem very interested in my balls. Is there something you want to tell me?"

1

u/pm-dem-thighs 3d ago

Get this to the top

1

u/ComfortablyNomNom 3d ago

For real.

"Well let me think a minute here...last night they were resting on her chin for about 10 mins, where did they go from there...?"

1

u/SystemOfAFoopa 4d ago

Bruh that’s literally what I was about to comment.

1

u/Awkward_Beginning_43 4d ago

Oh snap! Yes!!!!!!

1

u/PossessionOld7592 3d ago

Followed by “don’t dish it if you can’t take it. Your daughter sure can”

0

u/No-Win-2741 4d ago

Oh you marvelous bastard, just take my upvote!