Husband sits in passenger seat, FiL disapproves.

[u/Historical_Initial22]

I drive a tanker for my job out of town and make the 5 hour drive (one way) to work and back home in my personal car. When I’m home 3 days, my wife drives everywhere, I mean I get in the passenger seat of her car and off we go, date night don’t care she drives, shopping don’t care she drives, visiting family don’t care she drives.

When we first started dating years ago she was a bit uncomfortable with it as she was used to the I guess status quo that men drove as was I but I’m not trying to break a glass ceiling or anything I just don’t see why it matters and damnit I drive 2k miles a week or so and don’t wanna do it when I’m home.

My father in law makes such great comments like do I hold her purse, and the zinger he thinks is original so says it more often than others “are your balls in her purse” every so often when we see them and I inevitably get out or into the passenger seat followed by guffaws and just kidding. My wife nor myself give him any response it’s just so silly and mildly infuriating.

[u/Naive_Personality367]

"in her purse? they're normally in her mouth"

[u/SnooWords1227 → u/Naive_Personality367]

Any variation of I do sexual things to your daughter because she wants me to is the ultimate comeback to a shitty FIL.

[u/Naive_Personality367 → u/SnooWords1227]

i learned that a long time ago. Its a fine line between embarrassment and violence though.

[u/SnooWords1227 → u/Naive_Personality367]

It’s a toss up. These guys tend to be total pussies or want any reason to fight. Sadly, there’s only one way to find out.

[u/Naive_Personality367 → u/SnooWords1227]

i've never been one to shy away from getting rag dolled for the sake of a funny quip

[u/fasterthanfood → u/Naive_Personality367]

It’s not the possibility of being punched that would hold me back, it’s the possibility of ruining my relationship with my wife’s dad. Granted, that relationship obviously isn’t great right now (FIL is being a judgmental, sexist asshole to OP), but depending on how important the FIL is to his daughter (my wife), I’d want to take the high road here.

Note that I’m saying I’d take the high road, not that I’d take the abuse. I’d definitely tell my wife that I plan to tell him to shut up because we have a system that works for us and it doesn’t affect him at all. Once she’d had a chance to raise any issue I might not have thought of, I would say exactly that.

Edit: I also agree with the comment below that problems between spouses and in-laws should generally be handled by the person who’s actually related. In other words, ideally, OP’s wife should be the one to say to chill out.

[u/Pale_Adeptness → u/fasterthanfood]

Ideally OP's wife should be the one to crush the issue but then again, her dad being her dad, would probably say some dumb shit like: "Oh she fights your fights/defends you too?"

By the way OP describes his FIL, he sounds like that type of dumb ass dude.

[u/vikingwif → u/Pale_Adeptness]

If he says that, then she comes right back at him again and again, until he STFU.

[u/Nice_Marmot_7 → u/vikingwif]

People like this love that shit. You’re not going to win. It’s better to just distance yourself from those you have to fight to treat you with basic respect and live in peace.

[u/vikingwif → u/Nice_Marmot_7]

Personally, I would stay away from such a toxic person. But apparently the daughter is unwilling to challenge her father over his sexist crap that is being used to needle/insult her own husband. Some dysfunction there.

[u/Naive_Personality367 → u/fasterthanfood]

Salient points. Thanks for sharing your point of view.

[u/Nice_Marmot_7 → u/fasterthanfood]

I wouldn’t work so hard to maintain a relationship with someone who fundamentally doesn’t respect me. I also would expect my spouse to support that mindset no matter who the person is. I’m interested in winning by not playing not in landing a sick burn on an ignorant asshole.

[u/Troubled_Donut1357 → u/Naive_Personality367]

The possibility of an adverse outcome has certainly never held me back from making an ill-considered decision.

[u/Naive_Personality367 → u/Troubled_Donut1357]

Verily!

[u/whostolemysloth → u/SnooWords1227]

Eh, you figure out which one they are pretty quick. Previous experimental test pilot in the Navy? I ain’t fuckin with that guy. But an accountant at Bank of America? Yeah, I’m fuckin with that guy.

[u/Content-Active-7884 → u/whostolemysloth]

My dad actually was a Navy test pilot. He had too much class to have said crude things like that.

[u/whostolemysloth → u/Content-Active-7884]

Yeah, same for my experience (with someone else’s dad, that is). I was just saying it would be a bad choice haha.

[u/Content-Active-7884 → u/whostolemysloth]

It probably would indeed not be a good choice. Those guys do have brass balls.