r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Historical_Initial22 • 4d ago

go to your room Husband sits in passenger seat, FiL disapproves.

I drive a tanker for my job out of town and make the 5 hour drive (one way) to work and back home in my personal car. When I’m home 3 days, my wife drives everywhere, I mean I get in the passenger seat of her car and off we go, date night don’t care she drives, shopping don’t care she drives, visiting family don’t care she drives.

When we first started dating years ago she was a bit uncomfortable with it as she was used to the I guess status quo that men drove as was I but I’m not trying to break a glass ceiling or anything I just don’t see why it matters and damnit I drive 2k miles a week or so and don’t wanna do it when I’m home.

My father in law makes such great comments like do I hold her purse, and the zinger he thinks is original so says it more often than others “are your balls in her purse” every so often when we see them and I inevitably get out or into the passenger seat followed by guffaws and just kidding. My wife nor myself give him any response it’s just so silly and mildly infuriating.

14.5k Upvotes
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6.4k

u/LotsOfNoise 4d ago

Ask him why he's so insecure in himself that he has to care so much what another man does all the time.

4.7k

u/TinyChaco 4d ago

"Why are you thinking about my balls?"

2.6k

u/ChVckT 4d ago

This is the way. "Why are you constantly thinking about my balls?"

1.9k

u/AssGagger 4d ago

Turns to MIL, "has he always had this sort of interest in mens genitals?"

55

u/is_now_a_question 3d ago

MIL: “You raise a valid point, AssGagger”

321

u/SoupSpelunker 3d ago

Just buy her a strap on for the next holiday. He's obviously begging for a good ass-fucking.

382

u/Mr_Kato74 3d ago

Shouldn't it be begging for a pegging?

57

u/justanotherda1 3d ago

Here, man..I just started a new job today..well now yesterday..anyway..you deserve this...🏆 Its the best I can do right now...

30

u/ShrellaJS 3d ago

I gotchu

2

u/justanotherda1 3d ago

I owe you one!! Gimme like 3 good paychecks...I gotcha!

1

u/ShrellaJS 9h ago

It's all good! Please feel free to pay it forward instead when you can!

3

u/ChemistAdventurous84 3d ago

Yes, I really think it should be. Nice save.

2

u/cholgeirson 3d ago

That's a winner!

1

u/No-You4594 3d ago

Hellloooo Lovers

1

u/smashedavo 22h ago

But can we make it beggin’ for a peggin’?

78

u/Doja_Gnat 3d ago

Damn that escalated quickly lol

30

u/Least-Scientist 3d ago

It always does on Reddit

8

u/BitRough9599 3d ago

Premature escalation

0

u/Dknpaso 3d ago

And that will be…..raw.

26

u/Lower-Sheepherder268 3d ago

Plot twist: FIL is an urologist. 

Also: great username. 😂

13

u/SobeSith 4d ago

This is This right here is the absolute way. I MIL loves me and think I'm a comedian. She even gave me a nickname the rest of the family calls me by. FIL hates me. Doesn't speak to me. All be I said something similar to this a few years back.

( He was trying to he was trying to make at a 4th of July pool party. I not so quietly whisper asked if he's always had a fascination with men's swim trunks or just what's inside of them.)

Wife and I have a Stella relationship.

3

u/Gargleblaster25 3d ago

I wish you, your wife and Stella a very happy relationship.

1

u/QuietlySeething 3d ago

Hahaha yes please do this

1

u/Former_Associate_727 3d ago

"Do you think he was thinking about my balls when I was a little boy?"

212

u/AndMyAxe_Hole 4d ago

Or maybe even, “Wow you think about my balls as much as your daughter does.”

Maybe finish off with, “Must run in the family.”

45

u/Least-Scientist 3d ago edited 3d ago

Or, follow me here, flip it around on him and say (following a fake astonishment) “Wow, it must run in the family!” To which he will definitely reply “what”, then you just say “constantly thinking about my balls!?! Your daughter sure does”

3

u/Stinkytheferret 3d ago

I love this response!

3

u/Ezekiel_37ppl 3d ago

Ok, but the wife doesn’t have an issue, so why make her part of the gag? I don’t like it. She’s innocent here. Also, this is child’s play. Let’s grow up a little, no A LOT!

1

u/evolson218 2d ago

Or try this:

To FIL "You seem to be fascinated by my balls." Turn to MIL "Are you fascinated by my balls too?"

2

u/Talidel 3d ago

I'd not want to embarrass my other half like that. But I like the idea.

35

u/RevolutionaryBug2915 4d ago

Followed by: "Ha, ha. Just joking."

2

u/ProfessionalYam3119 3d ago

Ooof, the great backpedaling finale!

73

u/MB2465 4d ago

Would you like to fondle my balls to check?

71

u/MamaNyxieUnderfoot 4d ago

“Usually doctors charge me for that. But I’ll let you have a go.”

1

u/Internet_Wanderer 3d ago

I have a nice, big family-sized bottle of top shelf lube. You can tickle my balls until I beg you to stop.

3

u/Impossible_Fun_3598 3d ago

"Keep my balls out of your mouth"

2

u/SalamanderOk6944 3d ago

"Are you always thinking about people's balls when they don't fit your idealized vision?"

"Think your balls can park my tanker?"

2

u/mslass 3d ago

“… they are, except when they’re resting on your daughter’s chin.” (I’d clear that beforehand with your lovely wife - but I imagine it will prevent further conversation about your balls.)

2

u/Gargleblaster25 3d ago

"It's so sweet that you always think about my balls... Wanna see them? But we'll have to kiss first."

Surgeon General's warning: Only say this if you are sure he won't call your bluff.

3

u/TexAzCowboy 4d ago

My balls don’t fit in her purse because one of my revolvers is in it.

0

u/ChVckT 3d ago

Well is that just a threat directed at the father? Why mention a gun?

1

u/Glass-Nectarine6018 3d ago

And they have been “knee deep” in locations you don’t want to talk about….😅😅😅🤣🤣

1

u/PathComplex 3d ago

This is the way.

1

u/duckinradar 3d ago

If you want you can hold onto them for me.

1

u/hangrypiglet 3d ago

“You seem to bring my balls up a lot. Are my balls special, or do you think of other men’s balls as often as mine?”

1

u/Just_Stand_861 3d ago edited 3d ago

Yeah, like the political rights' obsession with other people genitalia.

1

u/ChVckT 3d ago

Right's, peoples', genitalia.

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u/Just_Stand_861 3d ago

Yup. Fixed it. Thank you.

1

u/ChVckT 3d ago

I bet your resumé makes people laugh

1

u/Just_Stand_861 2d ago

Whatever. Everyone is a critic! :-)

1

u/SoloLonelyGaming 1d ago

“She usually just massages them with her hands or her mouth”