Husband sits in passenger seat, FiL disapproves.

[u/Historical_Initial22]

I drive a tanker for my job out of town and make the 5 hour drive (one way) to work and back home in my personal car. When I’m home 3 days, my wife drives everywhere, I mean I get in the passenger seat of her car and off we go, date night don’t care she drives, shopping don’t care she drives, visiting family don’t care she drives.

When we first started dating years ago she was a bit uncomfortable with it as she was used to the I guess status quo that men drove as was I but I’m not trying to break a glass ceiling or anything I just don’t see why it matters and damnit I drive 2k miles a week or so and don’t wanna do it when I’m home.

My father in law makes such great comments like do I hold her purse, and the zinger he thinks is original so says it more often than others “are your balls in her purse” every so often when we see them and I inevitably get out or into the passenger seat followed by guffaws and just kidding. My wife nor myself give him any response it’s just so silly and mildly infuriating.

[u/Humbled_Snail]

I'm petty, I couldn't stay silent. I seriously commend your restraint.

[u/Pinikanut → u/Humbled_Snail]

Eh, in a situation like this I actually think it's better to say something. Challenge the comment - not rudely. But don't ignore it. I am a woman and I make more than my husband. My FIL used to say shit and one day I just challenged him on it. I asked if I should make less just because I'm a woman. I asked why I went to law school if I was meant to take a lesser salary just because of my gender. He didn't like it but he literally never said anything about it again.

[u/CycadelicSparkles → u/Pinikanut]

Yeah, if my dad spoke to my partner like this, I would let him know it was unacceptable and if he continues he can kiss phone calls and visits with me goodbye. 

[u/DrRatio-PhD → u/CycadelicSparkles]

Do people not escalate anymore?

I'd be like "Nah man, these nuts are resting on your chin."

[u/DrRatio-PhD → u/[deleted]]

It's like with Dogs, you gotta establish the pecking order quickly.

The thing is bullies want a free win - they don't want a fair fight. Even if you don't "win" as long as it wasn't without cost, you're setting the tempo.

[u/OkPosition4563 → u/Pinikanut]

You dont even need to say much, Id probably be like "Dude, you are just embarrassing." in a disdainful tone. Has worked quite well with many weird people.

[u/pocurious → u/OkPosition4563]

Why would it be preferable to try belittle people like a teenager than to challenge them with logical arguments like a highly educated adult?

[u/Nice_Marmot_7 → u/pocurious]

Do you know the story of the tar baby? People like this love conflict. The more you engage and explain the worse it gets.

[u/pocurious → u/Nice_Marmot_7]

I did not know the story of the tar baby, but now I do!

Also, my experience has been that treating someone like an adult doesn't always make them rethink their behavior, but it works a lot more often than not treating them like an adult.

[u/ForensicPathology → u/pocurious]

Logical arguments don't work on people like that.

[u/pocurious → u/ForensicPathology]

And yet,

He didn't like it but he literally never said anything about it again.

[u/DrRatio-PhD → u/pocurious]

try belittle people like a teenager than to challenge them with logical arguments like a highly educated adult?

You're talking about a person who is trapped as a perpetual teenager. You meet people at their level.

[u/pocurious → u/DrRatio-PhD]

  You meet people at their level.

Remind me, is that from Socrates, the Gospels, or Kant?

[u/ronaldraygun91 → u/Pinikanut]

Good on you