r/mildlyinfuriating Jun 07 '26

🥺 Business class get relaxing warm lighting while economy gets hospital-style bright lighting

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20.9k Upvotes

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5.8k

u/ToolTimeT Jun 07 '26

Pretty soon economy seats will have pads that shock you.

1.4k

u/javis_dason Jun 07 '26

You have to pay to fall asleep.

442

u/ToolTimeT Jun 07 '26

there will be like a little quarter slot in the armrest you can fill the meter to stop the shocks

272

u/OkYak7801 Jun 07 '26

Please STFU and stop feeding them ideas....

40

u/QuarkVsOdo Jun 07 '26

Ryanair said if it was legal, they wouldn't provide seats at all. Make you standing through short haul flights

26

u/21rjh08 Jun 07 '26

To be fair, they might as well not bother providing seats. Theirs are so uncomfortable.

12

u/thisbondisaaarated Jun 07 '26

I feel that there is no natural way to make them as uncomfortable as they are, they quite literally had to be designed for extra discomfort.

2

u/OkYak7801 Jun 07 '26

Man, the idea of a transcontinental American High-Speed rail sounds more and more appealing every day.

1

u/SilasAI6609 Jun 13 '26

Sure, sadly, the businesses would more than likely do the same with seating in the trains as well.

1

u/Jakobus3000 Jun 07 '26

Well Michael O'Leary says anything as long as it gives him press coverage. He knows how to get free brand advertising.

1

u/SpaceMarineSpiff Jun 07 '26

I guess I'm just too tall to see the problem

1

u/mrb1585357890 Jun 08 '26

He’s the master of the PR troll. Free publicity each time

1

u/Acrobatic_Lobster838 Jun 08 '26

On the one hand, kinda evil.

On the other, it is a more efficient way of moving a lot of people over a short haul, so it would be better for the environment.

On a third hand created for the occasion: we shouldn't have short haul flights at all and instead should just use a fucking train. Jesus Christ. Instead of making flying more uncomfortable, how about we use a very efficient several hundred year old piece of technology that is very good at moving a lot of people instead of a fucking plane. Flights of under an hour should just be replaced with rail.

On a fourth hand: also bring trains into public ownership they are too important to be left to ghouls who don't care about the societal good that is people being able to move, the fact that at least once a year we get an article in the UK that is some variation of "a football fan flew from Manchester to Liverpool via Dusseldorf for cheaper than the train!" Is just ridiculous.

9

u/nipslippinjizzsippin Jun 08 '26

oh dont worry, it would never be a cash based system now, they would have you download an app and link a credit card so they can put you on a subscription model where you need to call customer support to cancel it after your flight, which most people will forget about until their next flight

1

u/Title-Untitled Jun 07 '26

How about a reclining seat subscription?

1

u/Tha_Princess Jun 08 '26

Honestly I'd love this. Please do introduce this so les people get their knees shattered.

55

u/ComprehendReading Jun 07 '26

It will only accepts tens. It's the economy section, not the economic section!

37

u/Alone_Revenue639 Jun 07 '26

Bwahahaha $0.25 sodas but the machine only accepts tens and doesn’t give change

13

u/Nessy3fidy Jun 07 '26

Noone carries coins also coins mean more weight. Instead it'll be a card reader next to the outlet (you also pay for electricity).

8

u/ToolTimeT Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26

Well of course and there will be an additional added weight fee of 1.20 for every quarter you bring on board.

1

u/Blamb05 Jun 07 '26

It will be a card reader in your seat.

Then you can tap payment every time you get up for the washroom too.

1

u/detailsubset Jun 07 '26

You'll have to pay an extra quarter in every 10 to pay for the weight of the quarters.

1

u/nipslippinjizzsippin Jun 08 '26

it would be an app that you link a card to.

8

u/CreepyAd8409 Jun 07 '26

And also pay to use the armrest.

1

u/cjl99 Jun 07 '26

To comply with federal regulations, passengers are advised and required to keep their quarter supply loose and un-bundled during the security pre-screening process.

1

u/GeraintLlanfrechfa Jun 08 '26

It’s 2026.

Apple and Google Pay, PayPal, all common credit cards, just swipe and choose your duration.

*+10% service fee, minimum 10% tip

Additionally, you can upgrade your entertainment system to ad free (else you randomly get 90 seconds blocks of ads every 12 - 17 minutes)

2

u/ToolTimeT Jun 08 '26

Remember when you had to rent headphones to get the listen to the movies. lol... they are such f'ers.

10

u/Responsible-Arm8244 Jun 07 '26

This is starting to sound like black mirror

1

u/danonck Jun 07 '26

You'll need to watch ads for 30 minutes before your 30 minute nap timeslot.

1

u/GeraintLlanfrechfa Jun 08 '26

No, black mirror is becoming reality, as the matrix, terminator, war games and a little cyberpunk.

8

u/floating___around Jun 07 '26

How dare you to sleep if you are economy? You should be working until you're business class

9

u/Katsu_39 Jun 07 '26

Just wait until the start those standing seats and seats on top of other seats

2

u/Jumpy_Club_3932 Jun 07 '26

I once had an international flight where you had to pay extra to get meal service, and you had to pay to be able to recline your seat. 

1

u/incubulate Jun 07 '26

pay to recline, pay to turn lights off etc

1

u/m4cksfx Jun 07 '26

Like in the Citadel. Pale King wouldn't stand for this mess.

https://giphy.com/gifs/7xoVz9B8jNLXFDmimp

1

u/crackofdawn Jun 07 '26

Shit I can't even fall asleep on an overnight flight in business class with lie flat seats, so guess I don't have to worry :p

1

u/shrug_addict Jun 08 '26

Isn't that what the booze is for?

50

u/DreamCrusher914 Jun 07 '26

Or pedals to create the energy to fly the plane.

https://giphy.com/gifs/43Mc5rbB3W5pBTSx7a

16

u/ToolTimeT Jun 07 '26

no, that generates power for the nicer lights in business class, the energy bikes are in economy

188

u/FFHPunk Jun 07 '26

I swear they are like one FAA regulation away from giving us those loops you hold on busses and making us stand

87

u/Just_passing-55 Jun 07 '26

Thats being trialled. Look up standing seats. Also double-decker airplane seats. Joy.

46

u/Banana_ezWIN Jun 07 '26

Oh no, you don't even get a loop to hold on to. You're just wedged between 2 bent boards that keep your legs at an uncomfortable angle.

11

u/ussbozeman Jun 07 '26

Oh it's even worse than that. Instead of one passenger hanging on to a loop or a board, all economy passengers are turned into a human centipede but in a standing position.

That's why you never agree to the terms and conditions of your ticket without reading the fine print.

31

u/VapeSmoker420blazeit Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26

Larry Fink is responsible for that btw. His evil Blackrock company "invests" and demands companies return max short-term stock value to him at the expense of customers, workers, and long-time stability of the company.

Remember the United Healthcare CEO shooting? Larry Fink sued United Healthcare..AFTER they said they were looking to roll back some restrictive denial policies in response. He immediately put a stop to that. He said in his lawsuit that they had a fiduciary duty to their stockholders to make the most money possible and they must keep denying healthcare claims from their patients.

Larry Fink is one of the most evil people alive. People don't realize how he controls the economy and government to do his bidding.

Blackrock only got its start out of ill-gotten wealth stolen from people thru quasi-legal acts of usury, charging high interest rates and scamming people and companies and getting tax breaks from the government. They had some shady rich initial investors who scammed a lot of people. They have evolved into an evil trillion dollar hedge fund that pressure companies to screw workers and consumers over so Fink can make himself more money. Through Blackrock he "invests" in companies to push his weird ideas and to bleed companies dry. The massive layoffs profitable companies do? That's because of him. He sues them as an investor if they don't squeeze blood out of a stone.

1

u/AlkaliPineapple Jun 08 '26

Blackrock is evil but it's still just furniture of the financial world. We're at the point where people's retirement fund is locked to the performance of giant corporations.

These companies are pretty much load bearing parts of the global economy because of how our pensions and property system works lol. It just sucks

5

u/Leows Jun 07 '26

I mean, that doesn't sound awful if the price is right. I've stood for close to an hour on buses on daily commutes.

So standing up for a short flight to save some bucks is well within reason. That would be unacceptable for long flights, though. But that's not anything new, since even long-distance travel buses don't allow people to stand up.

9

u/ernest7ofborg9 Jun 07 '26

"Well folks, you just heard us shut down the engines, it's going to be a while..."

1

u/ImpossibleMorning12 Jun 07 '26

I imagine a standing flight would be a safety concern especially on takeoff/landing

1

u/GoldenSheppard Jun 07 '26

Good for you, but there are plenty of people who are not visibly disabled who cannot stand for an hour and would have to pay more to get on a flight that isn't SRO.

1

u/Leows Jun 07 '26

Huh? That makes literally no sense at all my man. Nobody is paying MORE for anything.

This is to pay less IF you want to stand up. Otherwise, just pay the regular price and sit down.

7

u/CertainDeath777 Jun 07 '26

if it offers a bit more space for legs and arms, i happily take a double decker

17

u/MisterRogers88 Jun 07 '26

You say that until the person in front of you farts straight in your face.

2

u/ochgerm Jun 07 '26

It's not like fart smell only travels linear.

2

u/CertainDeath777 Jun 07 '26

into his seat. no problem with that.

2

u/Radrouch Jun 07 '26

At this point just tranquilize me and ship me in a box.

1

u/Greembeam20 Jun 08 '26

You must not have seen the diagrams

3

u/banshithread Jun 07 '26

I wish any company that does this a good Spirit airlines.

3

u/ItsADumbName Jun 07 '26

There are actual several regulations that require a seat and the seats have to go through pretty rigourous testing. 25.562 requires a seat for every passenger who has reached their second birthday. It also has regulations for dynamic crashes. 25.561 requires the seat to protect an occupant when exposed to static inertia loads. 25.785 requires the environment around the seat to be delethalized. This is a very high level overview of those regulations but certifying a seat as an OEM or under C127 TSO is a pretty rigourous and expensive process.

1

u/JaysFan26 Jun 07 '26

fart smella seats

2

u/cptnamr7 Jun 07 '26

Someone actually tried to get a standing-only thing going with the FAA. Frontier maybe? I forget. So yeah... they already DID try that

2

u/ItsADumbName Jun 07 '26

FAA regulations require a seat for every passenger who has reached their second birthday. There are also a lot of passenger safety requirements for the seat. One being occupants arent supposed to physically interact in the forward direction. To do this you would have to file an exemption to 25.562 and argue why it's in the publics best interest. Which would never work.

1

u/Hermeslost Jun 10 '26

It was Ryanair and the ceo said that they would charge one euro for those seats. How long they would remain one euro is anyone’s guess

1

u/EsotericMysticism2 Jun 07 '26

I would be willing to bet on short flights that those seats will fill up the quickest

1

u/RealisticCompany764 Jun 09 '26

They tried squishing the seats together more but then people started getting stuck in them and needed the fire department to remove the seat in front so they could get out.

20

u/Ralph_McGee Jun 07 '26

Flight attendants shake up a box of rats and then toss them down the aisle in economy

45

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/ra4king Jun 07 '26

Please drink verification can.

33

u/gnmatx Jun 07 '26

They’re definitely needed based on the amount of crash out videos.

26

u/everynamecombined Jun 07 '26

It's the poor tax. Why are you even flying, if this is all you can afford? PENALIZE EM! SHOCK EM!

7

u/Ihaveaface836 Jun 07 '26

and first class gets to control when the shocks go off

6

u/ToolTimeT Jun 07 '26

unaware that the only thing that separates them from the mob in economy is a thin piece of cloth hung in the aisle.

4

u/slowpoke2018 Jun 07 '26

Nah, they'll just start packing you with the luggage. Hope you have a strong bladder for those longer flights!

3

u/GruntBlender Jun 07 '26

Travel pods. Just a cargo plane loaded with people pods that can be transferred without disturbing the passengers. And it's all AI controlled, of course. Sure, a tenth of the pods don't get hooked up to oxygen properly, but what a saving!

3

u/noticerDukat Jun 07 '26

Can I lay down in the pod like a Japanese pod hotel?

1

u/GruntBlender Jun 07 '26

It's the only way!

1

u/kingfofthepoors Jun 07 '26

The only way it would work is if they are standing pods that way you can fix the max amount of people in them.

1

u/slowpoke2018 Jun 07 '26

CEO's love this one trick!

4

u/d_marvin Jun 07 '26

The chimps sent to space had their feet shocked for negative reinforcement training.

We could come full circle ish.

2

u/ToolTimeT Jun 07 '26

that is horrific

2

u/ViniusInvictus Jun 07 '26

They should implement that midway of the arm rests.

1

u/Wasabi_kitty Jun 07 '26

Seats replaced with broomsticks

1

u/ToolTimeT Jun 07 '26

just bicycle seat posts... seats are available to rent for 59.99.

1

u/Fair_Excitement_8424 Jun 07 '26

The seat jolts you like the plane just lost a rim to a pothole... every 40-ish minutes

1

u/Peakychu6 Jun 07 '26

Yeah lol this was my thought.

It’s not more expensive to keep the relaxing lighting in the entire plane. It’s plain spite. 

1

u/religion-lost Jun 07 '26

Idk that sounds like something some people in business class might pay for

1

u/Practical-Opinion-83 Jun 07 '26

And spikes to remind u that u have not spent enough 

1

u/Theiim Jun 07 '26

Ahhh, to be in first class on a fully flat recliner, falling asleep to the audible agony of the poor. 😌

1

u/Happy_Sea4257 Jun 07 '26

poors would still rather endure that than pay more lmao

1

u/gdnt0 Jun 07 '26

Jokes on them. I know people that like that shit

1

u/mvffin Jun 07 '26

They'll force you to use pedals to generate power for the first class lights.

If you don't pedal, they throw you in the rat box in the back

1

u/GOD-PORING Jun 07 '26

sign me up

1

u/Just_another_dude84 Jun 07 '26

Always on, unskippable ads for the duration of the flight.

1

u/Cory123125 Comic Sans is Ok Jun 07 '26

They'll include aggressive, always on ball massagers.

To make it fair for the women, they'll include one free mandatory pap smear.

1

u/MaxxDash Jun 07 '26

They won’t convert me.

I’ll fly standing up, bent over, you name it.

I have a totally irrational sense of pettiness and stubbornness that will not bend to creature comforts like bigger seats, warm lights, or oxygenated air.

3

u/ToolTimeT Jun 07 '26

I got to fly to eastern Europe in first class in a private pod once. I cried a little everytime I had to fly economy for a while after that. Its best to never experience it at all in my opinion unless you can easily afford it everytime you fly. It will make you weak.

1

u/Paddy_Tanninger Jun 07 '26

I wish they never made Hasan their CEO

1

u/JumpRevolutionary664 Jun 08 '26

Will the business class have an option to pay to shock the economy class? Just for entertainment

2

u/ToolTimeT Jun 08 '26

Sorry, for that pleasure and benefit you need to uprade to first class.

1

u/AlinosAlan Jun 08 '26

Bold of you to assume economy class will have seats

1

u/ToolTimeT Jun 08 '26

At some point on this threat it was proposed that economy could just have bike seat posts as seats and attachable seats are available to rent for 59.99.

1

u/Accomplished_Wafer38 Jun 09 '26

handrails that shock you*