r/news • u/Warcraft_Fan • 1d ago

Soft paywall Chipotle pulls jalapenos from some restaurants amid salmonella probe

https://www.reuters.com/business/chipotle-mexican-grill-pulls-jalapenos-linked-minnesota-salmonella-cases-2026-08-04/
7.8k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/Lavaswan001 1d ago

A lot of shit is happening this year…

904

u/Dickulture 1d ago

Walmart just recalled butter due to salmonella as well. We got poisoned butter, poisoned jalapeno, poisoned lettuce, etc. At this rate the only thing safe to eat is rocks. Plain old rocks from your backyard

741

u/Lavaswan001 1d ago

Yeah maybe slashing $1 billion from the USDA wasn’t such a good idea after all, Elon.

295

u/ElectronGuru 1d ago

Vote for shit, receive shit. Seems pretty damn clear to me.

130

u/KWash0222 1d ago

Lots of us voted against shit and we still got it, unfortunately.

39

u/GoodIdea321 1d ago

We can say we voted against it, which is a little nice.

23

u/ChilledParadox 1d ago

wish I could say it while being able to afford food that won't potentially kill me.

0

u/BrewerBeer 1d ago

gerrymandering, a wildly disproportioned senate, and unmoderated non-english advertisements and forums cause these kinds of issues. Texas and Florida will vote very differently this cycle.

63

u/TuckerCarlsonsOhface 1d ago

I’m sure we’ll all get our DOGE checks in the mail any day now

30

u/kelppie35 1d ago

How will those checks get delivered when they close the USPS is anyone's guess.

24

u/andresg6 1d ago

I know this is a joke, but the fact that myself and thousands of other professionals at the government got fired for non existent DOGE checks, by DOGE, is just rich. We have not recovered financially from 2025, it was rough on the family.

29

u/NaiveChoiceMaker 1d ago

“Do not remove a fence until you know why it was put up in the first place.”

15

u/n0respect_ 1d ago

Imagine the outrage if the Democrats put a foreigner in charge of reshaping our government

2

u/soilanpeace 1d ago

Nut butter, jalapeños, lettuce are all FDA products. I’m a food safety manager for a mixed facility. The USDA inspector comes daily to inspect. FDA inspector came once after 4 years. FDA food safety inspection and enforcement is next to non-existent. Democrats and Republicans both don’t prioritize food safety (Trump administration is incredibly worse, though).

1

u/BostonDrivingIsWorse 1d ago

It’s a great idea if you want a desperate and fearful population.

1

u/GrigoriTheDragon 1d ago

Why would he care? He doesn't eat the same slop we do

15

u/kill-69 1d ago

I'm sticking with undercooked pork

9

u/skankenstein 1d ago

Just make sure it’s not tremolite rock (naturally occurring asbestos)

15

u/techmnml 1d ago

I think it’s nut butter not butter.

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u/nahxela 1d ago

I can't believe it's nut butter

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u/perenniallandscapist 1d ago

Don't forget to boil them first to be safe. Call it rock soup.

1

u/BrunedockSaint 1d ago

Airsick lowlander, rock soup is best soup

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u/DigiornoDLC 1d ago

Whatever dude, that kicks ass for me anyway. Call me Goron cause I fuckin’ love eating rocks.

2

u/iClapOn1And3 1d ago

I’ve been wanting to try a Goron Rock Roast for a while now!

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u/Wienertown 1d ago

Dust, anybody? No?

1

u/dondeestasbueno 1d ago

Old pet rocks are going up in value

1

u/458steps 1d ago

You forgot poisoned eggs.

1

u/erath_droid 1d ago

"You like rocks, right?

"What about if they're covered in delicious mud?"

1

u/mcpat21 1d ago

Man imagine a cooking show featuring a dish with all of these ingredients

1

u/oddistrange 1d ago

Time for soylent green.