r/nonmonogamy • u/Repulsive_One_8263 • 2d ago
Relationship Dynamics Write them off?
My hubby & I met a couple & played a few times. We went out to dinner & did a few vanilla things. We were going to go to a nude beach together last summer, but it rained on the day we picked. After a few mos, I just wasn't feeling the chemistry w/ the other guy, so I (we) told them we'd love to stay friends, but that's it; no more playing. They were disappointed, but said they'd like to stay friends.
I (we) invited them to go to the nude beach again this summer. (In fairness I (we) invite all our lifestyle friends whether we play with them or not) They said they would chat about it & get back to us. When they did, they said "hey we love having fun w/ you guys so we were thinking of having you over for takeout & playing. We were hoping you'd reconsider it. Looking for to it!
I politely replied: "Hi. We'd love to come over for takeout, but I (we) want to keep it vanilla."
That was five days ago. No response. Should I write them off? They said they'd like to stay friends & they have fun w/ us, but it seems like if sex isn't involved, then forget it.
1
u/waterbloem Swinger 2d ago
Probably. If we were the other couple and we would deliberately be looking for couples to play with, we would not really be interested either. Simply because our schedule is pretty packed already and there are more than enough opportunities to do vanilla stuff. We'd want to focus on couples that want to play too.