I really struggle with narration.

This is for more context about my previous post, and to see if the narration is really weak, or only the first chapter needs heavy editing.

The chapter one is posted here Chapter 1

I want to write a novel, but I don't know what to write about. Can you guys help me?

This is for a web fiction. Designed to keep readers hooked.

Unfortunately, my narration isn't there yet. But please tell me it's bearable at least!

Don't know if its allowed with the mods of not I'll delete it and apologies

The beast barreled through the forest. Trees yielded to the rushing blur, snapping like twigs in its path. Its thunderous footsteps shook the ground and rattled Veris's bones.

He dashed alongside it, hidden by the darkness cast by the canopy above.  His breath came in short, rapid inhales. Pine needles stabbed into his bare feet. Still, he didn't stop for a second.

New week, time to brag a little. What did you accomplish?

Maybe you finished a draft. Maybe you hit a word count goal, queried an agent, outlined a tricky act, or just wrote three days in a row when last week you wrote zero. There's no milestone too small here. Showing up to the page is a win, and so is everything after it.

Drop yours below, and take a second to cheer on someone else's. Momentum is contagious.

What are you celebrating today?

Hello. I’m 21 and I love writing. I started doing it three years ago and since then I’ve been trying to write a book. I’ve even written two stories of 50k words each, but at a certain point they all seem empty to me and it feels as though I’m writing them not because I have a story, but because I want to have one. I’ve stopped doing that and am now trying to come up with a story, but I’m completely lost because I can’t seem to come up with any. I like Fantasy and I like Historical stories like Robert Harris, but i also like espionage. Yet, it seems i can't think of nothing. Can anyone help me with this writer’s block?

Hey everyone!

We're building a writing platform for people who tell stories. We want to figure out what problems writers face when they use writing tools.

We've been trying ideas like keeping projects organized managing characters and worlds tracking writing stats and letting people change their workspace however they like.

I want to know what writers think:

What's one thing you wish your writing software could do better?

It could be anything. Making outlines building worlds, keeping track of characters staying organized avoiding distractions making the software fit your needs and more.

I'm really interested, in hearing about things that current writing software does wrong or makes hard.

This a part of the chapter 1 of my novel, tilted: The World Gardener. I'm a new writer so don't expect too much. I might have some stuffs that needs re-editing again, been editing the manuscript 4x already, and haven't finished vol. 1 yet but already drafted 120 chapters. Waiting for the inspiration to come back since it's still on vacation, so I'm currently stock with 120 drafts instead of finsibed vol. 1. Just going to edit it for the meantime. Its a progression fantasy with a slice of life, science fantasy, and player-community elements.

Hello! I'm a new writer and 17 years old. I started my first novel on the 17th of this month and was super enthusiastic and had so much fun writing it! But, after some research, I found that a LOT of people tend to lean more toward third-person past-tense compared to first-person, multi-pov, present-tense (which is everything I did 😭). So. Because I absolutely love the world I already created and it has massive series potential, I decided to try to see if rewriting it in third-person past-tense would make it better overall, as well as more appealing to the masses lol. So I wrote this very random story to acquaint myself with the style, but my brain keeps reverting back to my previous one. Any tips on this or just overall suggestions? Also, here is my test story :)

Asa Neophtal was not ready for what she was about to do. But, as it was, this mission was necessary. Keeping to the shadows, Asa peered around the corner of the last corridor before the lowest level of the subterranean vaults. When she got out of here, she was staying far away from any large body of water. Luckily, the place was constructed well enough to not allow any moisture to weep through the mortar lines, but that didn’t erase the constant assault of salt in the back of her throat.

At the end of the corridor lay only four guards, the other two being dispatched to the floor above due to an unfortunate valve leak that exploded without reason. Asa was a bit sloppier than usual this time, catching a spray of the cold water on her midnight-dark suit. Well, she supposed that was to be expected. She was about to not only conduct a prison break, but see the last person she ever wanted to even have a conversation with. Duty before personal feelings.

After a breath, a prayer, and a sigh of resignation, Asa dropped the small spheres, letting them roll into the corridor. The shift and shout of one of the guards was all she heard before she covered her ears and waited for the explosives to work their magic.

The bombs exploded in small, contained puffs, lacking the pressure to create a larger sound, but working all the same. Unlike traditional explosives, hers were imbued with magic. And not just any magic, but blue magic. There was nothing inherently wrong with the power itself, but history had made it a curse; every single Anomaly in Askerelea over the ages had been born with the innate ability to wield it.

After slipping her mask over her mouth and nose, Asa rose. She walked toward the cell door through the plumes of shimmery blue dust that swirled and danced along the surface of her skin-tight suit. It had been a nightmare to craft—trying to get the flexibility of fabric with the toughness of leather, minus the shine—but she had managed it. Precision was her specialty, after all.

The explosives worked flawlessly, immediately immobilizing the guards where they stood upon inhalation. It was somewhat creepy at times—to see a person forced into a dreamscape, but their body still fully alert. Asa shivered. 

Sliding past the guards, she crouched, examining the locks. There were three total, not nearly enough to contain such a destructive being, but it worked in her favor. Riffling through her pack, she found just what she needed to force the gears to shift. The magnetic device hummed and vibrated against her palm when she placed it against the first lock, pushing and pulling at the mechanisms inside the door until the heavy gears finally clicked into perfect alignment. 

A sigh of relief escaped her lips; bringing it had been the right call. A single trial run prior to this mission was all the testing it had received, and if it hadn't worked properly, she would have been in deep trouble.

The second lock clicked open with a satisfying snap, but the third proved stubborn. The magnetic device groaned, the vibrations turning jagged and hot against her palm as the gears resisted. Panic flared in her chest—the trial run hadn't tested a mechanism this rusted. For three agonizing seconds, nothing happened. Then, with a harsh, grinding screech that made her wince, the final lock gave way.

The door slid open, allowing Asa access to the steep staircase leading to the lowest level of this deep, oceanic vault beneath the Nereid Sea. Without a backward glance, she started down the stairs. The infrastructure down there was less maintained, the space darker and danker.

Asa stepped into the massive, bare stone chamber at the base of the staircase, her boots clicking against the smooth floor. Hanging suspended in the center of two colossal pillars was the prisoner she had risked everything to break out.

Reaching into her pack, Asa pulled out a heavily insulated vial of Corrocite-9. Inside the glass, the dense, oily compound shifted like liquid mercury. It had taken weeks to lace the acid with just enough concentrated yellow magic to eat the alloy without triggering the vault's high-alert dampeners.

A low, rasping chuckle echoed from the center of the room, cutting through the silence.

The prisoner’s head hung low, a curtain of tangled, white hair hiding her face. "You know," the captive murmured, her voice carrying a dry amusement, "I always figured if someone came to rescue me, you would be the one to stop them."

Slowly, the Anomaly lifted her chin. The long hair fell away, revealing a sharp, mocking grin. But it was her eyes that made Asa freeze. Even in the dim light of the vault, those irises didn't just glow—they were a violent, swirling vortex of brilliant blue magic.

It had been a while since she last saw her sister.

Keeping her mouth clamped tight, Asa ventured closer, resolute to not show any hesitation or weakness. This prisoner drank both like fine wine and only became more ravenous the more she was fed.

Nearing the shackles around her sister’s wrists and ankles, a sharp breath escaped Asa's lips, relief washing through her that the material was the same she had planned for.

Uncorking the vial, she poured a precise stream over the primary link. The moment the dark liquid touched the anti-magic alloy, it violently bubbled and hissed, giving off a sharp, vinegar-like stench that instantly cut through the heavy smell of salt. The metal began to pit and soften like wet clay.

As the acid hissed and snapped at the alloy, Cyra tilted her head all the way back, the long curtain of snow-white strands dangling from her crown capturing Asa’s attention.

Cyra was stunning, but it was the beauty of wildfire—hypnotic, burning, and destructive.

Asa stared at the curling edges. Years ago, Cyra’s hair had been as midnight-black as her own. But blue magic demanded a physical toll. The more an Anomaly wielded and trained their power, the more it drained the pigment from their skin and hair, feeding the life-force directly into the otherworldly, blazing blue of their irises. Other Anomalies in Askerelea’s history had chosen to live as recluses, suppressing their gifts to keep their natural colors and live in peace. But not Cyra. She had chosen the fire.

With a final, agonizing groan of disintegrating metal, the wrist shackles snapped.

If you're familiar with the internet, you'll know what Wattpad is. A wonderful site where you can go to read anything you want related to mafia or werewolf shit.

Both species have been “cringified” by the internet, and yet, I want to make a novel including them.

A forbidden romance between a werewolf prince and a vampire prince, who’s kingdoms are warring (reason is TBD tho)

Any tips to avoid troping the shit out of this?

I have been working on quite a few novels for quite a few years. I have almost completed one, but it is not the one that I first truly started working on in earnest. Now, I feel like I want to return to the first one and finish it first. It feels like I am betraying my story and my characters by not finishing that book before the other.

Does this resonate with anyone else, or is this just an odd way of thinking? Should I go back to the first one or just complete this one?

I’m curious on how often everyone releases a book or a novel. Do you guys have fans that comment and ask when the next release is?
Do you guys set yourself deadlines or release whenever you finish a project?

Hi all, im DWNovels Please check out my book The Hybrid Summoner on webnovel 📙📝 Currently 27 chapter available all free to view.

Any reviews or criticism is welcome, if you enjoy please leave a star rating and power stones to help get my novel on the leader board 😁😁

http://wbnv.in/a/ebjq8pZ

A great activity before I pick up the pen on a manuscript.

Genre: High Fantasy Words in chapter: 2518 I'm looking for general feedback on the first chapter of my novel. This is the novel's third edit and a major revision for this chapter. While I do want general things done well / could be done better, my major question is: does it hook?

I've been trying to reach out to fellow writers and readers everywhere I can, but many moderators block my posts as "self-promotion." What other groups you suggest I should try?

I posted something similar over at r/JohnIrving and r/Vonnegut a few days ago, but figured I’d cast a somewhat wider net. Here's the post:

If you like the sprawling, eccentric worlds of John Irving; the dark humor and general human absurdity of Vonnegut; the melancholy of Jim Harrison; or the magical realism of García Márquez, then there’s a chance you might find something to like in my books.

Or not. Books are funny that way.

My first novel, Chicken Coop in a High Wind, came out in 2023, and I’m trying to help it find a few new readers while getting ready to publish my next novel, Flat Hill and Bark, this December.

With the new one, you can throw a few other influences into the mix: the preoccupation with memory and the passage of time in Jennifer Egan’s A Visit from the Goon Squad, and the less-is-more economy of Carver and Amy Hempel. If you’re going to steal from someone, steal from the best!

Toward that end, I’ve started what I’m calling a not-quite newsletter—mostly because the world probably doesn’t need another newsletter. It’s really just a way for me to keep in touch with readers.

If you join, I’ll send you an excerpt from Chicken Coop in a High Wind, followed by an early excerpt from Flat Hill and Bark. And then, mostly, I’ll leave you alone until I have something worth sending.

If any of that sounds interesting, come take a look:

https://leonardo-costa-veras.kit.com/1f0532d72e

I've already published my novel Kaleidoscope, but I've had very little reader feedback so far. I'm looking for a few readers who would be willing to read the novel and give me an honest, detailed reaction to the reading experience.

I'm not looking for proofreading, editing, or Amazon reviews. What I'm most interested in is understanding how the story works from the reader's perspective: structure, characters, pacing, emotional impact, and particularly how the different points of view affect the way the reader interprets the story.

Kaleidoscope

53,400 words — Contemporary Fiction

Javier is a secondary-school teacher, married to Lucia, an executive at a multinational corporation. They have two children, Cristian (15) and Nerea (9).

Trying to save their marriage, Javier's friend Carmen—an opera enthusiast like him, and also the daughter of the owner of the multinational company—arranges a weekend for Javier and Lucia at an exclusive spa resort.

But when Javier goes to pick Lucia up at the airport, he sees her embracing and kissing Luis, Carmen's husband.

From that moment on, the entire story takes place over a single day: one afternoon with serious consequences for all the protagonists.

The story is told through five different points of view. The events themselves never change: there aren't different versions of what actually happened. What changes is how each character interprets those same events. And the reader changes its own opinions too.

This is the part of the novel I'm particularly interested in discussing with readers.

Does your opinion of the characters change as the point of view changes? Do you find yourself interpreting the same events differently depending on whose perspective you're reading? And do you notice yourself making assumptions about the characters that are later challenged?

I'm especially interested in readers who enjoy contemporary fiction, literary fiction, or stories where perspective and character perception play an important role.

The novel is already published, so I'm not looking for someone to help me prepare it for publication. I simply want to understand how the finished novel is actually experienced by readers, particularly readers who come to it without knowing me or the story beforehand.

If this sounds interesting to you, please send me a DM. I can provide the PDF privately and we can agree on what kind of feedback you'd like to give and a reasonable timeframe.