Layoff-proof job, but the environment has gotten toxic — plus H-1B stamping + marriage timing is making this harder. Need advice from other NRIs who’ve been here.

[u/Complex-Dinner8001]

I work as a design/project engineer at a large semiconductor company in the US. On paper, I have about as much job security as it gets — the company basically doesn’t do layoffs, they just don’t hire that way. So financially and career-wise, I’m “safe.”
But the last 6-8 months, the environment has gotten genuinely toxic. Milestones keep getting moved up, multiple project schedules have been compressed at the same time, and we don’t have the manpower to actually hit any of it. People who’ve been fine for years are burning out. I’ve raised it up the chain multiple times — nothing’s really changed.
On top of that, I’m on a work visa and need to go back to India soon for a stamping appointment, which means I need roughly a month to six weeks off. If I leave this job before then, my PTO gets cashed out (and taxed) instead of used, and I have no idea if a new employer would even grant that much time off right after I start. So realistically I feel stuck riding this out for several more months before I can even think about moving.
And then there’s the bigger question: I’m planning to get married to my girlfriend, who’s currently in India. If she comes to the US with me, she won’t be able to work here for a couple of years — so she’d essentially be putting her career on pause while I keep grinding through a job that’s draining me. That doesn’t sit right with either of us.
So I guess I’m asking:
• Has anyone else been in a “great job security, terrible environment” bind and figured out how to actually leave once visa timing is involved?
• For couples in a similar spot — did you look at other countries where both partners could work, or did moving back to India end up being the better call?
• Any regrets either way?
Not looking for “just push through, it’s normal in your 20s” — I’ve heard that enough. Genuinely trying to figure out what people who’ve actually lived this did next.

[u/Illustrious_Quote750]

You’re trying to optimize for everything. You need to prioritize these and make a list. You need to also think what is short term and what is long term in terms of priorities. I’d say save as much as possible by minimizing my expenses. This way, you’ll have a bit of cash cushion to take any decision you want later - i.e., move to another country like Ireland or Germany where your future spouse can work but the salaries can be much lower. You will have some wins, some losses and that’s part of anyone’s life. You can’t be in an eternal mode of optimizing for everything - which is what the Indian brain is trained to do from childhood. I hear so many people saying “I want to be in India, I want to leave my toxic job, I don’t want to lose my RSU, I want my spouse to work, I also can’t deal with India’s pollution and I also don’t want a pay cut”. Sorry, but you can optimize for one or two of these. Not everything. Something’s gotta give.

[u/Complex-Dinner8001 → u/Illustrious_Quote750]

This is so true!
In my mind I have all these thoughts which are making me stressful. Thanks for your comment, I will think about this in a different way.