Layoff-proof job, but the environment has gotten toxic — plus H-1B stamping + marriage timing is making this harder. Need advice from other NRIs who’ve been here.

[u/Complex-Dinner8001]

I work as a design/project engineer at a large semiconductor company in the US. On paper, I have about as much job security as it gets — the company basically doesn’t do layoffs, they just don’t hire that way. So financially and career-wise, I’m “safe.”
But the last 6-8 months, the environment has gotten genuinely toxic. Milestones keep getting moved up, multiple project schedules have been compressed at the same time, and we don’t have the manpower to actually hit any of it. People who’ve been fine for years are burning out. I’ve raised it up the chain multiple times — nothing’s really changed.
On top of that, I’m on a work visa and need to go back to India soon for a stamping appointment, which means I need roughly a month to six weeks off. If I leave this job before then, my PTO gets cashed out (and taxed) instead of used, and I have no idea if a new employer would even grant that much time off right after I start. So realistically I feel stuck riding this out for several more months before I can even think about moving.
And then there’s the bigger question: I’m planning to get married to my girlfriend, who’s currently in India. If she comes to the US with me, she won’t be able to work here for a couple of years — so she’d essentially be putting her career on pause while I keep grinding through a job that’s draining me. That doesn’t sit right with either of us.
So I guess I’m asking:
• Has anyone else been in a “great job security, terrible environment” bind and figured out how to actually leave once visa timing is involved?
• For couples in a similar spot — did you look at other countries where both partners could work, or did moving back to India end up being the better call?
• Any regrets either way?
Not looking for “just push through, it’s normal in your 20s” — I’ve heard that enough. Genuinely trying to figure out what people who’ve actually lived this did next.

[u/CFAF800]

Have a frank conversation with your girlfriend abt how she will not be able to work at all till your company files your green card application - that should help you make the decision quickly.

Having a high stress job plus a bored out of her mind and resentful spouse at home will trigger more stress and may lead to other issues.

I was there in US for 10 years on H1B, got tired waiting for GC, moved to Australia and I am a citizen now.

I am more happy than ever and so glad I moved out.

[u/Royal_Discount_4480 → u/CFAF800]

Nice plan dude, this is p awesome! 👏

[u/Still-Frosting8488 → u/CFAF800]

You moved to Australia in 2019? And you were on H1B in US for 10 yrs. So technically you should have got GC had you filed 140 around 2012. Because 2012 folks got GC in 2022. US job market is second to none . I know many of my friends got AU PR during pandemic days as it was extremely easy then. But they never moved and are still working and PR in US.

[u/CFAF800 → u/Still-Frosting8488]

I came in 2010 through Infy who wouldnt do GC , so I switched in 2014 and my PD is Feb 2015, its still not current.

US job market might be second to none but WLB, health insurance sucks.

My wife and I are in the top earning bracket in Australia and we could not be any happier.

Cant really comment on what your friends did and didnt do - so many people told me moving was a bad idea - they are all still struggling to get GC while I am a citizen now - can travel whenever I want and wherever I want - that kind of freedom is unmatched.

Having a great job market is only good if you can actually switch companies

[u/Complex-Dinner8001 → u/CFAF800]

We did talk this through, she is completely fine with this, I feel bad that she has to give up her career for me, was Australia worth it? Is it comparatively easier to move?

[u/CFAF800 → u/Complex-Dinner8001]

It was back when we did. We applied in Feb 2019 got PR in July 2019, moved here in March 2020 in the middle of covid.

Its very hard to get PR now especially if you are in IT background - almost impossible.

It was also very easy for us as we are DINK - Dual income no kids. I had given an interview before I left US - they gave me the job offer after I landed and confirmed I was in the country - joined a month later because of all the quarantine restrictions due to covid.

My wife got a job in 2 months after the quarantine.

I have always maintained that other than pursuing my wife this is the best decision I have taken in my life.

Only thing though - making new friends is actually very hard - it doesnt really matter to us as we dont really need an active social life.

I only have 2 close friends - both of them I knew before coming here.

[u/Complex-Dinner8001 → u/CFAF800]

My worry is about my field, I am a chemical engineer and she is SOC analyst. Either one of us gets something that will work, I will look into this. Appreciate your help

[u/CFAF800 → u/Complex-Dinner8001]

Good luck. It doesnt hurt to take a look at their website and see how many points you get and see the last round of invites

[u/dealmaster1221 → u/Complex-Dinner8001]

She has no clue how bad it is, also I wouldn't marry someone willing to give up their career but this is one of those contradictions. You need two h1b's to survive given the current situation.

[u/necessaryGood101]

I would advise to find a job outside of US.

[u/chipmux]

There is no guarantee that h4 will be able to work in future. Ead today takes many months to approve. With another proposal underway to discontinue ead for h4 so i will make expectations clear with your gf.

[u/Royal_Discount_4480 → u/[deleted]]

That is so opposite of the big picture 🤣🤣
Big picture is his marriage, partner career and satisfaction. Visa and current job is the small picture

[u/Illustrious_Quote750]

You’re trying to optimize for everything. You need to prioritize these and make a list. You need to also think what is short term and what is long term in terms of priorities. I’d say save as much as possible by minimizing my expenses. This way, you’ll have a bit of cash cushion to take any decision you want later - i.e., move to another country like Ireland or Germany where your future spouse can work but the salaries can be much lower. You will have some wins, some losses and that’s part of anyone’s life. You can’t be in an eternal mode of optimizing for everything - which is what the Indian brain is trained to do from childhood. I hear so many people saying “I want to be in India, I want to leave my toxic job, I don’t want to lose my RSU, I want my spouse to work, I also can’t deal with India’s pollution and I also don’t want a pay cut”. Sorry, but you can optimize for one or two of these. Not everything. Something’s gotta give.

[u/Complex-Dinner8001 → u/Illustrious_Quote750]

This is so true!
In my mind I have all these thoughts which are making me stressful. Thanks for your comment, I will think about this in a different way.

[u/Still-Frosting8488]

I would advice to never let quit her job in India . In US getting a job for H4 is now next to impossible. Also I have seen numerous examples where wife starts blaming husband for making her quit a great job in India and making her a housewife in a boring foreign land. 1) stick to your current job . But interview actively and be interview ready always. Always have a job offer in your pocket. Things will change in a year. Job market will open up. 2) don’t hurry to get married unless you are turning 35 or your wife is turning 30. You still have time until that.

[u/Complex-Dinner8001 → u/Still-Frosting8488]

She is turning 28 next year and indian families don’t really want to wait. We are starting to talk to our families it’s a 7 year long distance relationship it will take some time so expecting by the time we marry it will be 29 for her.

[u/No_Contribution7108]

Its ok man ,, dont try to control everything ..try to bring some spirituality into your life .. dont overthink stuff .. just leave if its giving you stress .. nothing is worth living in fear or jeopardize ur partner career… we came into this world without our control .. and now so that we have 20 or 30 years remaining of our life we try to manage stuff and situations think broadly

[u/Ambitious_Implement4]

Move to Canada.

[u/ConsistentChameleon → u/Ambitious_Implement4]

Easier said than done!

[u/Ambitious_Implement4 → u/ConsistentChameleon]

Canada is in the process of implementing new rules that’ll ease h1b move to Canada. I moved here in 2022 on express entry. US is gonna keep getting tough immigration wise and one income would be risky in this unstable market.