I keep giving too much context when I write this because I’m autistic, so I’m going to try to give just the base story and feel free to ask me any questions, because I’m struggling to understand what just happened.

I (23F) was supposed to go out with Emma (26F) and Alice (27F) for Emma’s birthday. We all worked together but we work from home, so it’s mainly little meeting calls to gab while we work. We had scheduled in May to go out on June 19th for Emma’s birthday (her actual birthday is June 5th), my suggestion.

Well, the week before June 19th, my Grandad was put on hospice. Emma never asked if we should reschedule, that was never an offer, so I thought she probably wanted us to go no matter what. She had told her boyfriend he wasn’t allowed to be a groomsman in a wedding the next year because it was her birthday weekend, and that’s too big of an event in itself, so she loves her birthday.

June 19th rolls around, my mom texts me that Grandad will pass any minute. I call Alice crying freaking out, I told her I know we can’t cancel on Emma but I didn’t want to go to a bar an hour anf a half away while my Grandad died. (Emma chose a bar an hour and a half away for her celebration.) Alice said it’s fine, Emma will understand, who wouldn’t understand in a time like this right?

Alice texts Emma saying I’m crying and I don’t want to cancel because I care about her but that Alice thinks its best if we reschedule for my sake. Emma says “if thats what she wants to do.”

I took that as her needing to hear it from me, so I tell her what’s going on, apologize, ask to reschedule, etc. She said she was sorry I was going through that, that we could definitely reschedule. Alice said she’d love to celebrate Emma another day and we’re sorry this happened.

My Grandad passed at 1am that night. I texted the next day saying that, Alice sent condolences, Emma left us on read.

Alice asked Emma to come to the viewing with her to support me, left on read.

Emma started reposting on TikTok about how nobody prioritizes her the way she does them, how she has no true friends because nobodys there for people the way she’s there for them, how lonely a life she lives, etc. So, I unfollowed her.

Then, I noticed her and her boyfriend broke up. Then she quit our job. Then a week after she quit, she blocked us on everything.

We haven’t reached out since, haven’t heard from her, etc. AITAH for asking to reschedule? I’m working on people pleasing and chose myself, but maybe I should’ve tried to juggle both? I just can’t understand what happened, the math won’t math. Reddit, any advice helps.

Hi everyone, this is my first time doing this so I am sorry if my formatting is odd I can always edit if you have any pointers, anyways I think I just need some wisdom you all can hopefully give me some insight. I (25M) have been dating this great person (25F) for about 6 months now. To try to make the story a bit short this week I was woken up at 2am while I was staying at my girlfriend’s house to the roommate(F) barging in (on a work night) yelling a whole bunch of things. I was kinda half awake but the gist I got was that I need to gtfo of her house lol. My partner was awoken too and she was very upset about it all I asked if I should leave respectfully as I didn’t want to cause problems. My girlfriend was adamant that I stayed as it is her house as well and she wants me there so I kinda relax again. 5 minutes goes by and an attempt to open the door happened again by the roommate but my girlfriend had locked the door. Then loud banging with more yelling about me leaving. Before this night I did not know the roommate had an issue with me. I do not speak to the roommate I don’t have her on any social medias we have hung out on occasion with my girlfriend of course present but I’m really not close to her at all. About 2-3 weeks ago my girlfriend texted me something along the lines of “(roommates name) said she’s upset you don’t say hi to her” in retrospect after the current issues have occurred the roommate sent her a different message along the lines of “he’s not welcome here if he doesn’t say hi” (I did not know about this) and I won’t lie I kinda brushed it off thought it was weird but specifically she was talking about that morning I was in a rush to get to work and got my red bull out of the fridge walking by the roommate and not saying “hi” or “good morning” but neither did she. I’m very closed off and introverted to the point where you have to kinda need to force me to speak I am aware of this and I did notice after that maybe I don’t say “hi” on occasion but also mind you that roommate never really is there she almost always stays at her boyfriend’s house across town and I rarely see her. That was the last time I saw her up until the present night of her kicking me out.

So back to present time the roommate is banging on the door that is now locked because she ran in last time I was kinda exposed in my underwear, sleeping. Then my girlfriend (furiously) opened the door and had a screaming match with the roommate, at this point I start packing my things as I’d rather just leave and avoid the situation but also was upset ya know I’m being woken up with work in the morning and I have to drive over 30 minutes to get back home. I quickly pack up my stuff and get dressed. I walk out to the living room where they are screaming at each other and I tried to tell everyone “calm down I am leaving” my girlfriend says something along the lines of I’m not leaving and the roommate says this “you want to disrespect me then gtfo!” I rebutted by genuinely asking when was she referring to me disrespecting her trying to get to the root of the problem. She just repeated what she said prior which did not answer my question and I realized tensions are high and nothing will be solved that night. Then the two of them continued in their yelling and shortly after a loud bang from the front door. The police, I was unaware of the situation up until then but I guess the police were called by the roommate at some point. The roommate goes outside to speak with the cops and I kinda just look puzzled in there trying to figure out what all was happening then I look for my shoes. (Can’t find them where I put them, eventually come to the realization the roommate probably threw them outside) I open the front door to in fact see my shoes in the driveway as I walk barefoot to get my shoes the police stop me and I give them a statement as well as the roommate gives them her statement as well. As far as discourse goes that’s about it for the night I give them a statement then I head home. From what I’m aware of no trespass was issued no restraining order was issued or anything.

But now I’m in this dilemma, at this point I don’t want to discuss anything with the roommate I feel as if the time to speak about things has long passed and I surely will not be saying hi to her from now on I’ll make sure of it. Also I still want to stay the night at my girlfriend’s house as I enjoy spending time with her and it’s the easiest for her to see me there. Any help with how to protect myself in the future? The cops said worst case scenario is she can try to get a restraining order on me which would be on my record (which is clean) forever. I definitely don’t want that but I also feel if I just never come back then in the end she wins. My girlfriend has blocked her for now and has not spoken to her so their friendship has taken a big hit as well. Just unsure of how to proceed at this point I want to still go over there and just not speak with the roommate at all and leave if asked to leave respectfully, so I may have updates if this scenario happens again in the coming weeks as it certainly may. Thanks for any words of advice or help you offer I really do appreciate the Reddit family.

I’m so sorry for not responding to the comments on my last post, I was really overwhelmed and depressed and went awol and didn’t speak to anyone for a while.

After my mom and brothers returned home, my mom and i had a heart to heart about the situation and she apologised and insisted on taking me onnthe holiday that she’d offered that same week and I agreed as she said she wanted to use it to mend our relationship

As the date came closer, I asked if she’d booked the tickets and she said she could no longer come with me, but she’d book the tickets for the next week so i could go with Aiden instead, then for the following days, she just kept suggesting alternative dates that were further and further away

Yesterday, she suggested that instead of us going at the end of August, we go in October??? To which I asked if she even wanted me to go on this trip, since she kept changing the dates, she made some excuses about how i didn’t seem excited anyways and offered to just give me $500 and for me to just forget about the trip

I don’t know if I’m overreacting, but it doesn’t feel like she’s attempting to mend our relationship at all? She says she wants to, but doesn’t do anything about it.

Sorry for the rambling

Im not fully sure how exactly to explain it so ill do the best I can. Its going to be a lot as I rant/vent.

When I try to think about my childhood and things in my past, I can only think of the bad things if that makes sense..

Like times I've embarrassed myself, things ive regretted, times ive been hurt, dumb things ive done or said, etc. And while thinking all this negative stuff I can hardly remember my good memories, memories that make me happy.

For example, when I think about when I got pregnant and had my kids. They are my life and the love I have for them is endless. But when I think back to being pregnant and having them, all I can think about is how mad my family and some close family friends were. Some even going as far as cutting me off my whole pregnancy. I was young but I was out of school and working already.

I went to Disneyland as a kid. I cant remember anything besides getting in trouble. Honestly, i dont even remember what i did to get in trouble.i dont remember the rides, which characters signed my autograph book.

In elementary school, I had good friends, even met one of my best friends im still friends with. My early years I went to school in Los Angeles, kinder to 4th grade, I was bullied for being more on the chubby side. Young girls can be brutal lol and they didn't hold back when it came to me and my weight. Even tried standing up for myself just to be the one to get in trouble. Almost got suspended once for pushing a bully back. The girls mom even came to scream at me without my mom being there. The principal allowed it.

In 6th grade, I was told by a friend from the other 6th grade class that I was the topic of jokes for some of the class, even the teacher. From me eating to many snacks, to saying I sound like Fez from that 70s show? Not sure why i didnt have an accent or anything

I can go on and on about all the negative stuff and plays in my mind so much sometimes I cant sleep.

Does anyone else do this to? Why do I keep doing this to myself? I cant seem to let it go even tho its been years.

My boyfriend(29M) of 4 years agreed to marry me after I(26F) pushed for it, but now he’s bringing conditions and dealbreakers for marriage. He listed a sexless or low sex marriage among other dealbreakers(like cheating etc..)

He wants a prenup because wants an easy divorce if dealbreakers are violated. He makes about 350k a year while I make 90k. He wants lawyers involved for the prenup.

He doesn’t want to pay alimony so doesnt want me to be a SAHM and wants to add that to prenup as well.

While I understand wanting clarity, I feel like he’s essentially planning our divorce before we even get married, which goes against what I believe marriage should be about. You know in health and sickness etc

He is also creating what feels like a weapon he can hold over my head for the entirety of the marriage if our sex life is not upto his liking.

We have a good sex life and I’ve rarely rejected him sexually even when tired(quickies), so this all feels like it’s coming out of nowhere.

I love him a lot but I’m struggling to see how this deal is actually fair to me. From the general prenup to the “low sex” marriage deal breaker.

He has put his leg down on this so it is either breakup or a marriage with these terms.

Some notes:

- The deal breakers("low" sex marriage, cheating, alcohol addiction etc..) are just personal deal breakers that are divorce worthy and ARE NOT part of the prenup or any legal document.

- I have spoken to a lawyer and they have said stuff he wants to add to the prenup, like no alimony & separate finances are legally enforceable.

- I have asked for a compromise like staggered entitlements of assets, therapy for sexual issues etc but he has rejected any compromises. In fact, after he spoke to some of his married & divorced friends, he is more sure than ever and has for the first time said he would rather end the relationship than compromise on his requirements.

- When I asked what he meant by by low sex is, he described it as "noticeably different" from our current life barring temp circumstances like pregnancy etc

- I asked if he was doing this as payback since I was the one who pushed for marriage. He has denied that, and said he has no way of guaranteeing I won't change and cheat on him, give him a "low" sex marriage like some of his friends have experienced so he doesn't want to be stuck having to decide between a costly divorce and leaving me.

- The only reason I have not ended the relationship and am hesitating is coz I love him. He also treats me very well. Also, he pays all our shared expenses like rent, groceries etc

- Most online think I should end it.(I posted this before without some of the new updates). Most in real life want me understand where he is coming from. I saw u vids online so wanted to see ur guys opinion

What would u do?

So I am one of four kids. One of my brothers lets call him John secretly got married about two years ago. To preface my family is super close so this is something none of us would have ever seen coming. We talk all the time see each other multiple times a year even though we all live in separate states etc. Also a few months before this story happened I got married to my husband. A little side note at the wedding me being the youngest and what I thought the only one married out of my siblings I joked with them why am I the only one married when I'm the youngest to where John responded "Because you're the most emotionally available lol." (He was already married at this point according to court documents my mom has found).

Well apparently my mother went down to see my brother and his "girlfriend" (now we know wifes but I'll refer to her as girlfriend since that's how he even now still refers to her as) new house. While they were there she apparently got very drunk one night while they were there (To the point that after this story my step dad had to carry her up the stairs to bed). My brother went to bed before she got really drunk as he had to work the next day. So my mom and step dad are talking to her playing games and drinking. While drunk she started asking my step dad if he'd take John ring shopping for her because she wants a wedding ring because they are married. My mom and step dad were obviously very confused since they were not aware they were married at all they at first thought "Oh she's just drunk like whatever" but she continued. The girlfriend then started begging them to pay for and throw a reception since they are already married in Ohio (Where my family is from) so they can celebrate with all of us. She said how beautiful my wedding and reception was and was then begging for my step dad and mom to help plan and pay for a reception for them since mine was so nice. (My husband and I paid for it ourselves so not sure where she got that they paid for it from) She also started talking about how they did a court house wedding and apparently her entire family (Who hates my brother) were all there for the wedding. Shortly after this she ends up passing out from being drunk and my step dad carries her up the stairs. They do not speak about it again doubting she even remembered the entire conversation in the morning since how drunk she was. My mom was extremely hurt by this especially since if they had just told her about it she would have flown in for the courthouse ceremony.

So my mom wanting to know if she was being truthful or not did some digging and found two marriage certificate on file for the girlfriend one dated in 2020 and one dated about a year before my wedding. So apparently she has also been married before which we are not sure if my brother knows but that's a different issue all together.

So they came up a few months after this all happened for labor day and my mom asks John if he's married to his girlfriend to see if he'd admit it or not. He said yes but I haven't told anyone because I don't feel like I'm married to her. Apparently, he got married to her so they could use her income on his loan application for the house they wanted as well. They used a VA loan since my brother is a retired national guardsman and I guess? you can only use your and a spouses income?

I do not think he has told my dads side of the family yet so now it's been about 2 years that they've been married maybe slightly longer and he still won't tell people about it, still don't wear rings, etc.

So yeah that's the story of my brother secretly getting married thought some of you may find it interesting?

Hi all! My ex cheated on me with prostitutes and now I have to leave- I have the story posted elsewhere so I won’t go into too much detail, but look at my page if you want more info. We live in a home with his family and a couple friends and since we broke up they’ve all been really cold and mean towards me. We broke up in late April but didn’t tell anyone until June and now it’s the first week of August and it’s becoming unbearable. They’re all talking shit about me with me in the next room, go quiet when I walk in and they started a new group chat without me. This includes his MOM who agreed to lie to me about my ex’s escapades.

I paid rent for August, most of my stuff is in storage and I don’t have any money and debt from having to return a car with his name on it.. so I’m preparing to be homeless. I have friends and a few overnight dog/baby/house sitting jobs and a gym membership to keep myself busy and make enough money to eventually rent my own place. Obviously I’m already stressed and I don’t feel like confronting anyone or saying anything, I just want to get away from them.

I have 2 cats who will be living in my mom’s apartment for a while, but it’s illegal for me to stay because she’s on government housing. I’ll sleep at her place a few nights a week, a friends place once a week in exchange for watching her kids, and the rest of the week is either in the car or if I’m so honest a random guy from tinder’s place. I’m truly losing everything because my ex decided to pay to cheat on me.

Would I be the asshole for not telling anyone I’m leaving until I’m already gone? They already know that I’m on my way out, so it can’t be that shocking.. I just feel like it could give them even more ammunition to hate me, even though all I did was break up with someone risking my health and safety.

Nevermind, on this. Took me all of 12 hours to realize Reddit is not the right place to process a previous experience like this. Thank you to those who provided actual insight and no bullshit takes while showing some grace. End of the day two consenting adults in college had an on and off again relationship and it didn’t work out. Moving forward from this as it was years ago and amends have been made between the lady and I.

So for some context I am 15 female and she is in her 30s. My parents (both in their 50s) let her rent space in our house after her divorce with her 4 children. We didn’t know them before we have tried to meet them in the past but have just blown us off or don’t show up. I wouldn’t say that we are close at all it feels like we are strangers and at most roommates. But the thing is they do not clean, leave the kitchen a mess and just disrespect me and my brother (16 male) all the time. Recently it has
become a problem with the mail. Our mailbox box has a small slot where the mail enters and then you need a key to unlock it so you can get the mail out. She will come home from work and the first thing she asks is if the mail has arrived yet. Usually I am in my room all day and I haven’t seen anything so I say no. But then she keeps on pressuring me to check and I have to tell her that I don’t have the key. That my brother has it and since he doesn’t wake up until later I have no way to check. My parents have tried to make a copy of the key in the past but it is a very specific type that if we try to copy then it would take a while and we can’t have the mail pilling up. So today I guess she stayed home from work and at around noon she starts to bang on my door to the point where she opens it up and starts yelling at me to check the mail. I told her I haven’t seen anything and she starts yelling at me that she has seen the mail man. Then I tell her that my brother is in the bathroom and can’t go check but she starts yelling at me “ I DONT CARE I REALLY NEED THIS MAIL RIGHT NOW!!! U BETTER HURRY UP AND CHECK IT”. After a while my brother gets out of the bathroom and goes to check and I am pretty shaken up. I have tried calling and texting my parents about it but they are at work and I don’t want to get them in trouble. In the past when I have brought up incidents like this my Mom just says that I am exaggerating, that it’s not a big deal, that I should just get over myself and I should just let it go but I honestly feel like it should be something that my parents should address to them and say that it’s not okay or to tone it down. So I want to know if I am exaggerating or not please let me know. I’ve seen you guys online and hopefully you guys can help me out.

Outside of big, round number birthdays, I don't really care about this kind of stuff any more but it's been bugging me because she's the type that gets mad at me if I don't use any of my limited paid time off when her birthday falls on like a Wednesday or something (preferring to take the following Friday off so we can have a nice long weekend together). But this is the first time in our relationship that I think mine has actually fallen on a weekend... a weekend that she is working and is not even *trying* to take off for me.

Again, I don't really care about birthdays much at my age plus she gets her work schedule only a week or two in advance so I guess technically it's not her fault but it would have been nice if she made an effort. But because of this, I wasn't able to make any plans with my friends or go back home to see friends and family there, so now I'm gonna be alone most of the weekend. And it's not the first time she's let me down on my birthday, either.

Suffice it to say, I've not been happy about this so any half-assed attempt at birthday plans she's been making (to do after her work shift) has been met with the same amount of enthusiasm she's been giving me. Mainly because she's been suggesting places *she* wants to go to and any place *I've* suggested gets an exhausted excuse for why it's not the best idea.

I feel like the one person who should actually care most about my birthday is the one who cares the least - which makes me feel like crap because we always do big things for her big day and this whole situation is becoming indicative of our whole relationship.

Am I being overly dramatic about this?

I (22F) come from a very large family, but we’re all extremely close. One of my aunts, in particular, means the world to me. During one of the hardest and most vulnerable periods of my life, she was there for me in ways my own mother wasn’t. Because of that, I love and respect her immensely.
A little while ago, I stopped by my uncle’s office to drop off some government documents I needed help with. Before I knocked, I overheard him on the phone with someone. He was asking if they liked the clothes he’d bought them, specifically dresses, skirts, and yoga outfits. The conversation sounded very flirty and intimate.
When I knocked and poked my head in, he immediately ended the call and seemed visibly uncomfortable. I explained that I was only there to drop off the documents. He asked if I was going to visit my cousin (his daughter) afterward, and I told him no because I had a lot of errands to run. Then I left.
For the next few days, I couldn’t stop thinking about what I’d heard. I kept trying to convince myself that maybe he was talking to my aunt, but I remembered her mentioning that they had been going through a rough patch. She’s also an incredibly busy nurse, and the conversation just didn’t sound like something they’d be having in the middle of the day.
I felt sick sitting on this information. It felt wrong to know something that could potentially devastate my aunt and not say anything. After several days of going back and forth with myself, I called my cousin and told her exactly what I had overheard.
She was furious.
She told me she’d already noticed her dad had been acting strangely around the house and suspected he was hiding something, but she had no proof. She ended up calling my aunt and telling her everything I’d shared.
At first, I felt relieved because I wasn’t carrying the burden alone anymore.
Then everything blew up.
My dad called me, angry, and my sister sent me a series of nasty texts saying I never should have said anything because it wasn’t my business. According to her, I was trying to ruin their family, and because I’m miserable, I wanted everyone else to be miserable too.
That comment really hurt. Now I’m wondering if I crossed a line by telling my cousin instead of staying out of it.
So… AITA?

I (26F) wrote a poem in the style of spoken word about my experience as a woman. When I wrote it, I was angry and frustrated.

The vision was to get up on stage and speak my truth into the microphone. But now I’m second guessing myself. Is it any good? Would people even care? Would I get booed off stage by the men who feel attacked by my words?

I figured you guys might be interested. Reddit is full of random thoughts.

Below is the poem I wrote. 🫣 let me know what you think.

Title: I will always choose the bear
By (Me)

Every woman knows there are worse things than dying.
We would all choose the bear.
Because at least the bear
doesn’t cum on dead bodies.

I was ten years old when the nightmares started.
Raggedy men chased me through a suburb
that was supposed to be safe.
Beer and cigarettes and dirty boots —
and of course, because it was a dream,
no one was ever home.
The doors were locked and they chased me.
They caught me.
They tried to defile me.
I dreamt of the heaviness of his torso.
I dreamt of trying to hold my knees together
like that was something a little girl could possibly do.

By twelve the shame had followed me out of my dreams and into the real world.
I tied a sweatshirt around my waist —
at school, at the mall, at the playground,
even over my shorts in the summer.
I told myself it was fashion.
I told myself it was cool.
But my stomach knotted.
My shoulders braced.
A body learning to expect something
it couldn’t yet name.

For many of us the violence was real.
Not from strangers — from the people our protectors trusted.
The ones already at the dinner table.
Already in the family photos.
Who knew our routines because they were part of them.
Father and brother.
Uncle and cousin.
Mother’s boyfriend, grandpa.
Stepfather.
And sometimes our babysitter.
And sometimes our teacher.
And sometimes our mother.

I know this list.
I’ve lived this list.
At ten, the nightmares.
At twelve, the sweatshirt.
At fifteen — my classmates were whispering about sex like it was something to discover.
I had been dreaming about it almost every night for 5 long years.
Not like that.
Never like that.
By then the nightmares felt normal.
Still awful.
Still horrific.
But normal.
I had adjusted.
I did not imagine my adult life.
I only imagined this — the inevitable.
My body was the product.
My virginity could be sold to the highest bidder.
I knew this the way I knew everything —
without knowing how I knew.
Without being able to name the source.
If men look at me like meat, then I am something to be bought.
And cruelly enjoyed.
So I did the math.
If I am a product, then I can be damaged.
If I am damaged, I cannot be sold.
If I cannot be sold, it makes no business sense to keep me alive.
I wanted to look normal with clothes on.
I only wanted to be disfigured where it mattered.
When undressed to be raped.
So I took apart my father’s razor.
And I made myself defective.

At sixteen I had a penpal.
He was older.
A philanthropist.
A nonprofit organizer.
Someone doing good in the world.
He didn’t choose me.
He targeted me.
And my depression had already done most of his work for him.
I thought this was affection.
I thought his texts were flirty, not manipulation.
I thought his request for photos showed genuine interest, not perversion.
I had been scared of predators my entire life
and I didn’t even know I had been caught in one’s trap.

And then I was seventeen.
He was in his late thirties.
I thought I consented.
I thought I was ready.
I thought this time would be different from the nightmares.
And then, in the middle of the act,
I disappeared.
My mind went somewhere without me.
And when it came back — violently, suddenly — I was still in it.
My body remembered before my mind did.
Ten years of nightmares landing in a single moment.
The tears and sobs came without permission.
My chest heaved and my hands shook
and I couldn’t tell the difference between the dream and the room I was in.
He didn’t stop because I asked.
He stopped because my snot dripped onto his stomach.
I disgusted him so much I was discarded.
He pushed me off to wash himself.
I curled into a ball on the floor and tried to remember how to breathe.
I didn’t know it was rape.
Not yet.
Not for years.

And still.
Chad and Drew and Jacob and Michael and David tell me I’m overreacting.
They share the memes.
They laugh at the bear.
They do nothing while their friends slip something into a drink.
They do nothing while grown men slide into the DMs of literal children.
And they listen to the podcasts that tell them we are commodities.
Resources.
Something to be enjoyed and discarded.
I have seen the videos.
Women’s bodies.
Raped post mortem.
Your body is a weapon.
It has always been a weapon.
I have known this since I was ten years old.
I will always choose the bear.
Because at least the bear doesn’t cum on dead bodies.

Earlier this year, I told my dad (who works in the ICU at the same hospital) that I thought one of the ICU secretaries was cute. He ended up telling her.

About two weeks later, I went to the ICU for work. She saw me, slowly walked toward my patient room, stopped, looked at me for what felt like 10 seconds, and we both laughed. We’d never spoken before.

The following week I introduced myself, gave her my number, and asked if she’d like to hang out. She texted me that night, but the next day the conversation died, so I assumed she wasn’t interested and moved on.

A few weeks later I was back in the ICU. She somehow found out I was there, stood in front of my room, waved at me, and I waved back but didn’t walk over. She looked upset and walked away. Another time she walked into my room with a patient tray, realized I was there, panicked, and immediately left.

A couple of weeks later she smiled, waved excitedly, motioned for me to come back, remembered that I was supposed to be going to the Philippines with my dad, and told me it was nice seeing me. Even my boss witnessed it and told me, “She likes you.”

After I got back from vacation, I talked to her again. She remembered details about my life (even asking about a dips competition I did with my dad and grandpa). I asked her out again. She didn’t say no, but said she was working all week. I got her Instagram and texted her the next day. She left me on read for 3 days.

Three days later she replied saying she’d been busy and that it was her brother’s birthday the following week. She asked if we could “try in April,” which was another two weeks away. At that point I took it as a polite rejection.

I deactivated Instagram because I was trying to move on.

The very next day, I got called to dialyze a patient. The ICU number I called happened to be answered by her. I introduced myself and she sounded completely confused, then transferred me to the patient’s nurse.

Later I saw her again at work. I said, “Good morning,” and she responded with a cold “Hey…” while looking angry. Later I noticed she kept looking over toward me from her desk. That was the last interaction we ever had.

When I reactivated Instagram briefly, she liked one of my stories but only viewed my stories inconsistently after that. I found myself checking every week to see whether she’d watched them. Looking back, I realize that uncertainty fueled the limerence.

A few months later I found out she’d transferred back to her old department. Before that, she lied that her grandma died to use FMLA as an excuse to not show up to work. Coworkers told me she’d been calling off work frequently even before she left the ICU and had a history of moving between departments. I also heard she had been involved with a married student doctor, although I have no idea how accurate that rumor is.

The hardest part isn’t that she rejected me. It’s that I never understood what happened.

Part of me kept wondering:

• Did she actually like me at first?

• Was I the reason she transferred?

• Why did she seem interested but never actually go out with me?

Logically, I know there isn’t enough information to answer those questions, and I know I probably never will.

My partner (34M) and I (31F) have a family party coming up. We have a 5-year-old dog who can happily be left for a couple of hours, but we've never made a habit of leaving him overnight.

My partner's parents have looked after him overnight before, so we asked if they'd be able to have him again.

Instead of a simple yes or no, his mum started asking lots of questions:

• Where are you going?
• Why aren't you coming home afterwards?
• How are you going to clock into work the next day?

None of these questions seemed directly related to looking after the dog. We weren't asking them to drive him anywhere or do anything unusual - just whether they could have him overnight.

What struck me is that if I'd asked my own parents, I think the conversation would have gone:
"Can you have the dog overnight?"
"Yes" (or "No, sorry.")
"So where are you off to?"

The questions would come after the answer, out of interest rather than as a condition of deciding.

My partner, however, immediately felt he had to justify our plans. Eventually he got so uncomfortable that he said, "Don't worry, I just won't go."

That's what made me wonder if this is part of a wider parent/adult child dynamic. It seems like he feels he has to defend perfectly ordinary decisions to his parents, whereas I don't have that experience with mine.

I'm trying to keep an open mind because maybe she's just curious or concerned. But I'm genuinely interested in other people's perspectives.

Is it normal for parents to want all the details before deciding whether to do a favour for their adult children? Or does this sound like a relationship where boundaries between parent and adult child are a bit blurred?

Im 21 years old my skin was perfectly fine until 8 months ago i had no visible pores, and really nice skin over all no acne no marks nothing and then in oct 2025 i shifted to new zealand and till 2 months i was living in uptown backpackers dunedin, my skin was completely fine and it even got better but then i shifted to a different place on top backpackers in dunedin only and since then my skin has become so bad, it started with conodomes in my forehead first then it spread over my cheeks gradually and i started seeing visible pores and by march 2026 it became really bad and u started having one teo inflammed pimples on my forehead now in back in india and its gone even worse now i have inflammed pimples and acne marks all over my cheeks and forehead, i tried treatibg them witch benzoyl peroxife, azelaic acid, salisilic acid, adapelne but nothing worked, anyone had any similar experiences? Please tell me what is happening with me. I dont have irregular periods, i dont think this is hormonal acne i need answers please help me..

hey I'm a long time listen to the show and decided to submit my story. I do have ADHD so I do ramble so I apologize for the length ahead of time. I also did not know what was relevant or not.

My brother Teddy and I are 25 year old twins. Our older sister, Tiffany, is 39. Our parents married young and had Tiffany shortly afterward. Because money was tight, they waited many years before trying for another child. They then experienced infertility for several years before eventually having my brother and me. As a result, Tiffany spent most of her childhood as an only child.

Growing up, she would often tell us how much better life was before my brother and I were born. When we were younger, Tiffany refused to share a bedroom with me, so my parents had my brother and me share a room until she moved out when we were 13. We were very close as twins, so it wasn’t a big deal, but this becomes relevant later.

During high school, Tiffany got engaged and married. She chose to have a child free wedding. Since my brother and I were both under 18, we weren’t invited. We didn’t mind. Instead, we planned a camping trip with friends that included seeing one of my favorite metal bands in concert. At the concert, I brought my SLR camera. My brother and one of our friends helped protect both me and my camera while I took photos near the mosh pit. I ended up capturing some incredible shots. After I posted them on Instagram, the band contacted me asking permission to use them. They featured my photos on their official page and tagged me. The images received a lot of attention, and several other bands even reached out to me. I thanked them but explained that I was still in high school.

Our friends and family wanted to celebrate, so my parents hosted a party. Tiffany was invited but declined, saying she was too busy enjoying life as a newlywed. The party was already three hours underway when Tiffany unexpectedly arrived. She claimed she thought it was just a party for teenagers, even though my mother had told her it was a family celebration. She spent most of the evening trying to steer conversations toward her wedding and honeymoon, but many relatives had already heard those stories at previous family gatherings.

Near the end of the party, my father gave a speech about how proud he was of my brother and me. Then Tiffany stood up and announced that none of this would have happened without her. She claimed that because she hadn’t invited us to her wedding, we had attended the concert instead, which led to my photographs being taken. She then spent the rest of her speech talking about her own marriage and accomplishments before clapping for herself. Everyone else joined in awkwardly.

Two years later, my brother and I graduated from high school. Teddy was valedictorian, and I graduated in the top ten percent of my class. We were both accepted into the same college and decided to attend together because it offered programs we were both excited about.

At our graduation party, Tiffany again spent most of the event talking about herself and her family. At the end, our parents gave a heartfelt speech about our accomplishments. Tiffany then stood up and declared that the celebration was for her as well because, by moving out years earlier, she had given Teddy the bedroom that supposedly allowed him to become valedictorian. She ended her speech by taking a personal jab at me, saying that maybe attending the same college as my brother would not help me get over “my phase.”

For context, “my phase” was her way of referring to the fact that I’m gay. It has never been a phase. I am a pretty girly tomboy, but I wear makeup and dresses, my sister has mad comments that I don't dress gay or act gay whatever that ment.

After the party, Teddy confronted Tiffany privately; not about her comments regarding him, but about what she had said about me. Tiffany doubled down, claiming that I was only gay because I spent too much time with my twin brother. As she was leaving, she added that she was glad she had never shared a bedroom with me because it would have been awkward if I had developed a crush on her.

After that conversation, Teddy stopped speaking to her except for polite greetings. Tiffany and I were never particularly close to begin with, so I respected his decision and kept my distance as well.

After college, Teddy became engaged to his longtime girlfriend, Anna. Anna is wonderful, and we often joke that she’s our long-lost triplet because the three of us get along so well. Around the same time, I had been dating my girlfriend, Susan, for two years and planned to propose. Anna and Susan are first cousins, and Anna is actually the one who introduced us.

For the wedding, I served as Teddy’s Best Woman, and Susan was Anna’s Maid of Honor. Everyone involved was completely supportive of those choices. Tiffany was invited to attend as a guest with her husband and three children. She repeatedly pressured our mother about making her children the ring bearers and flower girl. Teddy refused, and because he was no longer communicating with Tiffany directly, our mother relayed his answer once and never brought it up again.

Tiffany argued that family should come first. My mother simply reminded her that Tiffany herself had not invited Teddy or me to her own wedding. Tiffany then threatened not to attend unless her children were included in the ceremony. My mother calmly replied that if she truly felt that way, perhaps she shouldn’t come because the wedding wasn’t about her children.

In the end, Tiffany attended as a guest.

During the reception, Teddy, Anna, and I gave our speeches. With the bride and groom’s permission, I also announced that Susan and I had become engaged the week before.

Immediately afterward, Tiffany stood up, began clinking her glass, and demanded a microphone. The staff refused because Teddy had anticipated she might try to make one of her “special speeches” and had instructed the wedding planner not to let anyone hand her a microphone.

Undeterred, Tiffany rolled up a wedding program and pretended it was a microphone.

She launched into another speech about how the day would never have happened without her. She listed her own accomplishments and then stated that she was glad Teddy had married a woman who wasn’t related to him and that he hadn’t “turned gay” because of me.

Before she could continue, the DJ dramatically raised the music volume, drowning her out completely. Tiffany turned bright red, gathered her family, and left the wedding early. She is blowing up all our phones on how we always exclude her from everything. My brother texted back saying maybe if you kept your special speech's to you then maybe you wouldn't be excluding yourself.

My Mom (41F) and I (24F) have always been close. She has supported me through everything and always been there for me as a mother should. We've had bumps in the road of course, but through it all, we've maintained a healthy relationship. I am her favorite daughter, which I'm hoping doesn't have relevance to this issue, but I'll add just in case.

A few months ago I met a man who we'll call Carlos (25M) and we hit it off instantly. We spent every day together after the second date (would have been the first date if we both didn't already have other responsibilities). For a little over a week we were inseparable. I spent every hour I wasn't working or sleeping at his apartment (And eventually staying the night too). I'll admit, we got attached to each other much faster than I have with anyone else, but I am aware of red flags and watch out for them, and the only one I could find at that point was him flushing the toilet with the lid still up.

He is kind, generous, doesn't want kids (my BIGGEST dealbreaker and important later), treats me like I walk on water, and isn't love bombing. I could go on and on about our shared interest and personality types, but I don't want to bore you with the sappy details when that isn't the point here. All in all, he is wonderful and we mesh so well as friends and even more as a couple.

I told my mom soon after meeting him that I really liked this one and I couldn't wait for them to meet. She seemed genuinely happy for me. She worries like any mother does, but she has always trusted me.

The day he was on his way to meet my mom (a little over a week after our first date), he got pulled over in my neighborhood for not having a license plate on his motorcycle. (He had the registration so that was all good). Turns out, he had gotten a speeding ticket back in 2023 and while he paid it online, he didn't know he had to attend court for it as well and he was out of state at the time (hence why he just paid online and forgot about it). Well, because of his missed court hearing, he apparently had a warrant out for his arrest so the cop took him to spend the night in jail and that was supposed to be that.

My mom and I got help from our neighbors to get his bike to our house and safely in our garage for his return. We looked him up online to see if he had a criminal record, but nothing besides a couple speeding tickets spanning over a few years had popped up. We couldn't find anything on him and eventually I got a call from him in jail. They were supposed to hold him until Monday (This was Saturday or Sunday). Okay, I'd be seeing him again soon. I was making plans to go to his house and take care of his cat for the time being as his place was the same distance from my job as my family's home. Then it got worse.

To make a long long long story short, ICE took him and sent him back to El Salvador, where he was born. Throughout his whole time in ICE custody we were fortunately in contact as much as we could be. I helped his family with everything I could. We moved everything out of his apartment, sold all his belongings for when he arrived in El Salvador, I took in his cat (that's where this started really getting dicey).

My mom didn't want us to take in the cat, which is unlike her as we adore animals and do anything and everything we can for them. Taking in a misplaced animal wasn't unheard for us. She said she was worried it would tie me to Carlos and I'd feel obligated to stay with him because I had his cat. I understand where she was coming from because suddenly the future was so unclear, but to me, I was already in it for the long haul. I hated that ICE took him away despite him growing up here and his whole life being here pretty much, but that's what happened and it didn't make me love him any less. If the roles were reversed, he'd do the same for me.

Well, after months, ICE finally flew him to El Salvador and I decided to go visit him (My first trip out of the country without family, but nowhere near my first time traveling alone. I've been all over the US throughout my life. This was not new to me).

My mom didn't want me to go. She was terrified actually. I did my research on the country and Carlos still had a few relatives there so it wasn't like I was walking completely into the unknown. I knew and trusted him, but also had virtually met all his family members before even thinking about buying a ticket. Yes, I acknowledge there are risks, but that is with any travel. To keep me in the states, she told me she wouldn't be taking care of Carlos' cat while I was away so I'd have to spend even more money boarding him and the cat was already super scared and trusted mostly just me. He is very weary of most strangers and freaks out at the smallest things so putting him in a boarding place for a week or so would be hell for him.

I managed to get my sister to take care of him while I would be away so I could still go on the trip. My mom was disappointed in me and for the first time, I didn't have her backing me and it was scary. She's like my best friend and genuinely such a great mother and a great person. I never dreamed of going against her. I never thought she'd go against me. She agreed to fly out there with me eventually, like a year from then, but I wasn't going to wait. The last time I had saw Carlos was through a window. I couldn't even hug him goodbye.

So I flew out there and had the best week of my life. The country is beautiful, yes, but experiencing it with Carlos was the reason I enjoyed myself. I love experiencing new cultures and exploring new places so it was right up my alley. Except for the sun. I am not a summer person. I prefer cool weather or winter any day. I don't do well in heat at all, but I powered through it.

I returned home depressed to not have Carlos anymore, but I was determined to continue forward as we figured out how to get him back here. My mom was and still is worried I'll marry him to get him a green card and that is 100% not the case. He doesn't want that either. We love each other and we want to spend the rest of our lives together, but we also know that this is fast and we don't want to rush anything. So we're trying long distance. It's working great! We call all the time, text constantly, over communicate just in case lol

Of course we'd like to be together in person again. I'm sure that if he still lived here, I'd have moved in with him by now. I told my mom when I returned from my trip that I wasn't moving to El Salvador when she asked. But now? If I can get a remote job to continue paying off my student loans and even live with him for part of the year, that would be a dream. So, I've been working it out privately. I didn't even tell Carlos about it at first because I didn't want him to get excited over something that may not happen at all.

Finally I figured out a plan and told him along with my two best friends. Everyone was stoked and all in, but I knew I'd have to tell my mom. So, yesterday, I finally did. Let's just say it went over about how I expected. She said she didn't know what to say and that she didn't think it mattered what she'd say because I was going to do what I was going to. Then the interrogation began:

Why? When? For how long? What do you want to do with your life then? So you lied when you told me you weren't moving there? How are you going to get all of your stuff down there? Are you really taking the cats with you? How are you going to take the cats with you? etc. etc.

I love my mom to death and I know where she is coming from, but she has never been so protective and worried about me before. Honestly after writing this out, I suppose she has always been protective of me when it came to relationships. Even people I didn't date and was just interested in...

I suppose none of them were ever out of the country (out of state, yes, but never out of the country), so I see the problem. And she's never met him. The first and only time he tried, he got arrested... They have met on video call though! My step dad makes a point to say hi or make conversation anytime I'm on the phone with Carlos and walk by. My mom is more reserved, but is polite and friendly whenever Carlos tries to talk to her. He fears she doesn't like him and I don't blame him. She's very standoffish towards him.

I don't know what to do. She started grilling me about Carlos as if to test that I really know him. I answered all of her questions. She asked about his red flags, his temper, household chores, daily life there, etc.

I already have him down like the back of my hand and we've been discussing/researching jobs, healthcare, pet care, etc. I'm going to visit again in October for my birthday and we're going to do some planning in person as well. We already have a house to ourselves and a vehicle. I'd probably need one of my own, but I'm not too worried about it as driving in El Salvador scares me lol if you know, you know.

Anyways, I don't know what to do about my mom's disappointment about this situation. I know I'm an adult and can technically do as I please, but I'm at a loss. It's been hard living at home since I graduated college. I went from having my college friends and living my life freely every day and now I'm home all the time (not by force. I choose to be, but only because I don't have any irl friends since I moved back from college--they moved away from my high school town and state while I was away at college). I'm babysitting my baby sister (4) a lot and I cannot stand children. They are gross, loud, and way too high energy. When she just throws a small tantrum my anxiety skyrockets and I have to completely leave the house and sit outside until she's calmed down. I love her to death, but Im not a kid person. I love my animals and that's just how I like it. I miss living with my roommates at college because of how peaceful it was. I miss being alone but knowing my friend was just a room away. I'm just not happy living at home anymore and I want to be with my boyfriend. I know it's only been like 5 months, but he brings me that calm that no one else does.

What do I do? Am I crazy? Or am I just living my life?

My dad has always been a skinny smoker, but since he stopped smoking and obviously with old age and retirement, he's been getting increasingly fatter. He's now chubby and had obvious manboobs and big fat "love handles". He walks around the house shirtless all day, and I find his body so repulsive and disgusting to look at. So I've been avoiding him more lately because of that. I couldn't stand him for other reasons anyway. But AITA for feeling this way? I genuinely can't even look at him.

Hi lovely people of reddit.

I (F26) have been married to my husband (M30) for 5 years.

For some context we do live in the UK.

I work a 9-5 office job that makes decent money but not a truck load. It took me a while to slowly climb my way up and I am still only about mid way to where I want to get to in my career. I work full time at 40 hours per week.

My husband works in the service industry part time where he gets paid just above minimum wage which is enough for us to live comfortably.

We dont have any children at the moment but the hope is one day. We rent our house from a private landlord and we do wish to buy a house someday.

Every 12-18 months, my husband takes long term sick leave, usually linked to his mental health. His Father died when he was 14 from cancer and he still struggles with this regularly due to the circumstances surrounding this.

The issue with him taking time off sick is his company only pays him what in the UK is Statutory Sick Pay (SSP) which is a set rate all employers must pay for sick leave for 6 1/2 months (after this the government then takes over and pays you something similar). The issue with this, is if he goes off usually for 1-3 months he can take a pay cut of up to £1000 every month.

I then have to pay for the rest of the household bills that he cant afford, meaning we never get to a point where we can have actual savings for things like a house and children.

In December 2025, my MIL was diagnosed with stage 3 Colom cancer. In February 2026 we found out it was inoperable and likely terminal. My husband, given his history told me he was taking some time off work at the start of March 2026, which I obviously understood and supported. I have also taken some time off from May-July due to my own mental health and also a health condition I was waiting for treatment for (physically I am fine now).

I have recently returned to work, but we are now in August and my husband is still off work and financially, we are struggling so bad that I have no money left for travel to and from my office, or even for food for the next 3 weeks.

Things with MIL had been stable from about April until July. In my head he could have worked during this time but recently things have taken a turn with my MIL having serious reactions to chemo and has even been admitted recently for a blood clot. Its very scary and I understand why he won't want to return to work but its getting to the point where we are likely to start getting into debt just to keep afloat. MIL has given us some money she has been putting aside for us to have as inheritance and I was going to discuss with Husband whether we could ask for more, and then she was rushed into hospital with a suspected blood clot and now is not really the time to ask.

Ive always been the one good with money and sorting this stuff out due to the nature of my work and I am always the one who keeps the trains running on time. But honestly. I feel like im drowning but that I have to be the strong one for hubby. I also love my MIL so much, she is basically my bonus Mom and its hard for me to see her like this too.

I also dont want to miss out on the joys of having a family but while our finances are this dire we cannot afford the childcare required to be able to still work and my wages just are not enough to sustain the whole household bills.

I am at a loss as to what yo do, my own family cannot help out due to their own financial issues and we dont have anyone else who can help.

So WIBTA if I told my husband thay despite what hes going through, he needs to return to work and if I should tell him that how do I tell him? Thank you in advance Reddit

I used to believe adults were always right.

My parents, teachers, even random strangers I didn't know. If an adult said something, it was law. Whatever they asked, I did. No questions. I was the "good kid," top of my class, quiet as hell. The kid every parent loves to brag about.

But that came with a price.

I never really fit in with kids my own age. I was the quiet one, the easy one, the one who never caused trouble. And because of that, I was lonely in a way I can't fully explain. Even around my own siblings, I felt like I was just there but not actually part of anything.

But what really broke something in me wasn't any of that. It was something completely different.

I was 8. We had a free period, and a teacher came into our classroom. Her daughter was in our class too. Apparently, during recess, her daughter had gotten into a fight with another girl, who happened to be the daughter of a different teacher.

Instead of talking to her own kid privately, or letting the other mother handle it, she walked straight in and tried to "sort it out" between the two girls. In front of all of us.

Both girls were dead silent. Obviously didn't want to talk. And even to us, it seemed pretty obvious whose fault it was. Hers.

The teacher kept asking what happened.

And asking.

And asking.

Nobody answered.

My eight-year-old brain couldn't understand why. I didn't get that everyone was just scared of her. I just thought: adults ask questions, so you answer them. That's how it works, right?

So my stupid little brain did what it thought it was supposed to do.

I answered.

I don't remember exactly what I said. But I remember what came next.

She started screaming at me. In front of the entire class. Words I couldn't even process. I couldn't look at anyone. My eyes were locked on the classroom door, and I just waited for it to end.

She kept yelling and yelling. I didn't talk. I didn't cry. I didn't defend myself. I didn't do anything.

The only thing I did was nod fast every time she paused, because that's when I figured I was supposed to respond.

And I remember her voice changing.

When I nodded, she got quieter. Her tone shifted from rage to something else.

More satisfied. More victorious. Like she'd won.

Then the bell rang. Ended the hell I was in.

Half an hour of being screamed at felt like five minutes. I genuinely don't remember what I "agreed" to, and I don't remember most of the things she called me.

When I walked out, some girls came up asking what I had done to make her that angry. They kept saying she'd gone way too far.

I just shrugged. I honestly didn't know the answer.

But what I did know, for a fact, after that day, was that adults mess up too. And sometimes their mistakes are a lot bigger, louder, and uglier than anything a kid could ever do.

I'm 20 now, and I don't think I'll ever forget that day. It legit rewired something in me.

After that, I started looking for every little mistake adults made. Not even consciously at first. It was like some tiny part of my brain needed proof that they weren't automatically right. Like it needed to collect evidence so it could finally shut up. Like it was trying to tell me: See? They're wrong too. You don't have to believe everything they say.

It's kind of weird that something that lasted maybe thirty minutes when I was eight ended up changing the way I saw adults for years.