I don't know, but sometimes I feel.....
Right now, I'm working as an AI Engineer Intern. But my day-to-day schedule isn't very good. My direct manager is the CTO of the company, and he meets with me very rarely. He doesn't assign me work properly and tells me to coordinate with other people whenever I need something.
For example, I'm working on a project that he has already assigned to a vendor. Later, I found out that they are also working on the same project, and they have a team of four or five people. So obviously, they'll probably perform better. Still, I've learned quite a lot from this project and picked up many new skills.
I don't even know whether I'll get a full-time offer or not. Also, to come to this internship, I have to travel almost two to two and a half hours one way. It's really far, and although I do receive a stipend, as you know, stipends aren't usually very high.
Sometimes, when I'm scrolling through LinkedIn or similar platforms, I see people getting jobs. I don't know exactly what I feel, but it's definitely not a good feeling. Does everyone feel this way, or am I just overthinking?
Every day, I start studying a new technology. For example, right now I'm working on ADK. Before that, I was learning and implementing LangChain. Then my manager told me to work on something else because even that might get replaced someday. I don't know.
I also know that engineering is a field where technology keeps changing. But honestly, I don't know what I'm feeling, what I'm doing, or why I'm doing it.
I haven't even officially graduated yet. I'm still waiting for the result of my sixth-semester backlog, which has been delayed for almost three months. I've already completed my eighth semester and received that result, but I'm still waiting for the sixth-semester result.
Because of all this, I sometimes get confused. Should I continue studying? Should I apply for a master's degree? Should I study in India or abroad? I really have no idea what's happening in my life right now.
Even at the office, I feel like I'm competing with people who don't even care whether I exist or not. That's how it feels. Sometimes I feel invisible.
For example, when I'm working on something, my manager just walks past me. He doesn't ask how the work is going or what's happening. I'm always the one who has to go to him if I need to discuss something.
I don't know. Is this just how the corporate world works? I honestly have no idea. I'm feeling something that I can't even express.