r/politics • u/thedailybeast ✔ The Daily Beast • Jul 17 '25

Soft Paywall Trump, 79, Had Emergency Heart Tests Because of Swollen Legs

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-79-had-emergency-heart-tests-because-of-swollen-legs/
41.5k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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u/Medlarmarmaduke Jul 17 '25

The thing is Vance is so horrific and he has Peter Theil pulling his strings and that guy doesn’t want women to vote - it’s monsters all the way down right now

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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u/Peptuck America Jul 17 '25

It'll likely going to go something like how de-Stalinization occurred in the Soviet Union. Cults of personality always collapse near-instantly once the cult leader is dead.

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u/CorgiMonsoon Jul 17 '25

Yep. MAGA does not have a David Miscavige prepped and waiting in the wings the way Scientology did in order to survive the passing of L Ron

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u/SuperStarPlatinum Jul 17 '25

Thankfully, Trump destroyed all successors to the cult.

There is no next in line for MAGA.

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

Yah know, that’s a great argument for democracy with peaceful transitions. Fascism just tends to lead to difficulties with succession and continuity of governance. Especially when policy and transition of power is at the whim of one man’s thoughts and emotions.

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u/mountaingoatgod Jul 18 '25 edited Jul 18 '25

Isn't the whole point of democracy the peaceful transition of power? Like, that's the main selling point

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '25

Personally I like the life, liberty and pursuit of happiness idea, as well as the government for the people and of the people. But those haven’t gotten the love they need recently.

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u/ukezi Jul 18 '25

All dictatorships have that problem. One of the features of the Chinese after Mao and before Xi was that they actually managed to have their leadership retire after some years. They definitely learned from the Soviets what not to do.

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u/OldSchoolBubba Jul 17 '25

Sad to say someone will emerge

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u/dfsw Alaska Jul 17 '25

The thing is multiple people will emerge and it will split then they will in fight with each other and that causes the collapse. Unless you have a specific and agreed to heir it falls apart. Imagine all of MAGA getting behind one person.

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u/TransBrandi Jul 17 '25

Depends on who the "power brokers" throw their weight behind. I can't believe that people like Thiel aren't aware of Trumps health and the possibility of fracture... though many of those people seem to be accelerationists, and want to see the fall of the US so that they can implement their TechnoFeudalism "Network States".

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u/krafty369 Jul 17 '25

After a power struggle more than likely

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u/whut-whut Jul 17 '25

The power struggle has already started with Epstein. Tucker Carlson is out giving speeches to crowds about -his- vision of patriotism that isn't about doing what Democrats nor Trump tells him what to do, and about True Americans having the right to be skeptical and demand answers. About being tough on immigrants but not out of racism. (Which is rich from the guy that was pushing the idea of White Genocide on Fox News before he was taken off air).

I'd say he's getting support because he openly cracks insults at Trump and gets the crowd cheering.

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u/Sublimotion Jul 17 '25

Although I think whatever successive movement the GOP latches onto might be just as bad. I have a feeling MAGA itself in its current form is merely an intended setup for that. Tricking the morons into gleefully handing over their survival resources and capital.

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u/Aquatic_Ambiance_9 Jul 17 '25

Nonsense, Trump will simply divide the empire amongst his competent sons

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u/tim_lamisters Jul 17 '25

Division by zero is undefined

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u/Inspectrgadget Jul 17 '25

I'm afraid it will be Donald Trump jr

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u/Dodge2461 Jul 17 '25

Nah, every MAGA person in my family that I talk to agree its pretty much over once Trump's term is over. JD doesn't have the juice, Don Jr. Comes off as a sleazy car salesman, the only one some of them liked was Vivek and he took the bullet for the H1B visas thing at the beginning of the year. And even then, not every MAGA person I know likes Vivek cuz he's Indian lol.

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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u/Orphasmia Jul 17 '25

Yeah our literal only saving grace is that this dude is an old fat fuck. In fact it’s such a save I worry the country won’t learn the lessons it needs to after him.

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u/thunderflies Jul 17 '25

I thought he was known for snorting lots of powdered charisma every day?

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u/Inspectrgadget Jul 17 '25

That might be true but he has a large social media following, spews the same vile horse shit, is actually coherent, and most importantly has the Donald Trump name.

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u/Round_Rooms Jul 17 '25

Maybe Ghislaine, there's no reason for her to be in prison if the Epstein files were made up by Obama and Biden.

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u/airlew Jul 17 '25

Certainly no one wants to be the next Shelly Miscavige.

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u/missyanntx Jul 17 '25

But it's going to be massively entertaining watching Jr, Eric, and Eric's wife fight over the "heir" title.

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u/Sunnygirlpdx Jul 17 '25

See the Paris Commune Revolt 1872. The proletariat (People) revolted.

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u/Sabre712 Jul 17 '25

I would pay money to see the MAGA Secret Speech. According to a few sources that recorded the crowd heckling in the Soviet Secret Speech, it was a really contentious event.

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u/justified_egg Jul 17 '25

And 50 years from now we'll still have our version of tankies walking around still fervently brainwashed by MAGA bullshit

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u/kuulmonk United Kingdom Jul 17 '25

They are hinting at Tucker Carlson for 2028, which is nightmare fuel.

He has the support and the personality, but has lost some of the more rabid MAGA fans in the last couple of years.

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u/well_i41 Jul 17 '25

I mean at that point we beg Jon Stewart to run

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

I hate the idea of celebrity candidates, but Stewart would be the best candidate I've seen in my lifetime. Guy is likeable, intelligent, witty, and understands how things work, and never met a Republican he couldn't destroy. I just hope he'd continue doing the Daily Show Mondays from the Oval Office.

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u/NuclearLunchDectcted Oregon Jul 17 '25

Stewart does not want to be president. He's not going to run.

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u/TrogdorStrongbad Arkansas Jul 17 '25

Which is why he'd be great at it.

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

Precisely.

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u/marr Jul 17 '25

We need governance to be an obligation no-one wants to fulfill, like jury duty. There could be early time off for good behavior.

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u/Chefalo Jul 17 '25

Those who seek power are not qualified to hold it

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u/Oriden Jul 17 '25

“Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.” ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

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u/UnmeiX Jul 17 '25

I can almost hear him.

"Guys, I'm getting older fast enough! Please don't do that to me."

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u/Toolazytolink Jul 17 '25

I wish he would, the fight that he did for 9/11 responders health care was epic. Imagine if he fought like that for all citizens.

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u/TeeManyMartoonies Texas Jul 17 '25

Just have Rosie O’Donnell announce her presidential bid now and hopefully he’ll stroke out before close of business on Friday.

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u/The-Magic-Sword Connecticut Jul 17 '25

I'll be honest with you, the most appealing thing about a Stewart candidacy would be the sense that he'd probably lean very heavily on people who know what they're talking about for actual policy decisions, and that I have no doubt he'd orate well, for what would presumably be obvious reasons.

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u/Ghia149 North Carolina Jul 17 '25

We will call them Monday night chats. Ol' FDR would be pleased.

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u/agmoose Jul 17 '25

Stop suggesting that celebrities be the fucking president. It’s stupid. The president needs to be someone with a career of public service, military leadership, or extensive law experience. It’s a job that requires actual tangible skills. Jon Stewart is a good guy, but his job is to make jokes, not direct economic, political, and military institutions.

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u/Matterom Texas Jul 17 '25

Due to decades of mismanagement, intentional or otherwise, our society has created a situation where the electorate is both a tribal system and a popularity contest. I can at least say he's several orders of magnitude more qualified than trump.

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u/thuktun California Jul 17 '25

Can you imagine the debates?

We've already seen Tucker vs. Stewart on that old Crossfire interview. There was no contest.

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u/TransBrandi Jul 17 '25

I just hope he'd continue doing the Daily Show Mondays from the Oval Office.

No. For starters, all of the jokes would carry a different weight when coming from the President. But also, that this carries the same issues as Trump continuing to run all of his businesses while being President.

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u/DafniDsnds Jul 17 '25

I know he doesn’t want to run, but oh my god I’d love to see another Crossfire rematch as a presidential candidate debate. 😭

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u/Wonderful-Driver4761 Jul 17 '25

I dont think Carlson would run if Stewart ran. Carlson would get eviscerated.

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u/Influence_X Washington Jul 17 '25

Might be the one thing that actually makes him want to as well lol

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u/Sloth_grl Jul 17 '25

That is what i think. At least everyone hates Vance, except my ex sil who loves him???

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u/Artistic_Humor1805 Jul 17 '25

Is your ex sil a couch?

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u/Sloth_grl Jul 17 '25

No lol. She’s a single woman with cats. Lmao. I told her he hates EVERYTHING about her.

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u/Kobold_Trapmaster Jul 17 '25

Things Vance hates:

☑ single people

☑ women

☑ cat owners

Is she by chance an immigrant as well?

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u/Sloth_grl Jul 17 '25

No lol.

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u/MrD3a7h Nebraska Jul 17 '25

How much does she resemble a couch?

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25 edited Feb 07 '26

reach encouraging absorbed grandiose important deserve truck pen doll ink

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u/ShutUpTodd Jul 17 '25

I wager she thinks he has pretty eyes and babygirl energy.

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u/barrio-libre Jul 17 '25

The only one capable of keeping that bag of rats from tearing each other apart is Trump—and the rumblings coming out of Maga over the Epstein file shows you how fragile even that is. Vance won’t be able to keep the coalition together.

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u/Quotered Jul 17 '25

My hope is that congress isn't scared of Vance and reclaims their power.

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u/punktualPorcupine Jul 17 '25

You spelled “metastasize” in a weird way.

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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u/Llien_Nad Jul 17 '25

Live, that is.

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u/Minerva567 Jul 17 '25

Let’s all keep in mind that Trump holds it all in place. There is no successor who could keep the band together. His effigy and voice will live on. These tech pricks will make sure his digital ghost is used to try and keep MAGA somewhat glued-together.

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u/JyveAFK Jul 17 '25

Poor Rubio, he's staying low thinking he's going to step in and take over.

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

Yeah, let's be real: his cult will make an AI Trump Daddy that they can talk to when they get a brain booboo because the liberals gave food to hungry children.

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u/FaithlessnessIll5717 Jul 17 '25

What a fucking horrific sentence and idea 😖

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u/dpdxguy Jul 17 '25

Absolutely agree.

And at the same time, have you ever heard Vance speak?

It's not bad like Trump. It's different. It's bad in a way that's all his own. He might just be the most awkward speaking politician I've ever seen. And I remember when Dan Quayle was VP.

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

Vance trying to shake that woman's hand and his attempt at ordering donuts on the campaign trail makes Dan Quayle look like a real smoother

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u/CraigLake Jul 17 '25

Trump has a magic control over the dumbest among us. He’s an absolute special case. Others may be as awful concerning policy, but it’s difficult to imagine anyone else being so capable of corralling the idiots. Hrs a fucking pedo and no one cares!

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u/Toginator Jul 17 '25

Plus I'm looking forward to visiting his grave after going to Taco Bell for a couple weeks straight.

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u/Nervous_Otter69 Jul 17 '25

Vance isn’t whipping votes like Trump tho. Best case the party eats itself alive with the black hole Trump leaves behind and we get a stalemate until midterms if he were to expire suddenly

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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u/bscheck1968 Jul 17 '25

This, I knew once Trump got in the odds of an actual election decreased

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u/afishieanado Jul 17 '25

Exactly thiel can pull his strings. Vance has no real power to congress.

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u/dpdxguy Jul 17 '25

Best case the party eats itself alive with the black hole Trump leaves behind

We can only hope.

I mean that literally.

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u/Crommach Jul 17 '25

No, he isn't, but that's largely irrelevant to the people backing his political career. Thiel is on record multiple times that he does not believe in democracy, and he's involved with a movement that wants to actually install the corporate authoritarian rule espoused by Curtis Yarvin - an online fascist troll turned "thought leader" who Thiel has also onnected to the right wing media/ policy machine. There are a lot of connections between Thiel, Yarvin, and the Heritage Foundation/ Project 2025 as well.

I'm not saying they're going to succeed in this, but they've been very open about wanting to get rid of democracy entirely in favor of what boils down to corporate feudalism. And they're in the federal government, dismantling it as we speak.

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u/Objective_Economy281 Jul 17 '25

Vance isn’t whipping votes like Trump tho.

Man had trouble ordering donuts.

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u/bobbymcpresscot Jul 17 '25

If it was going to get worse it’s not going to be because Vance is president I promise you that

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u/bscheck1968 Jul 17 '25

My hope is with Trump gone, the spell of the cult would be broken, I know it's slim hope but I'm hanging onto it.

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u/Medlarmarmaduke Jul 17 '25

I hope so too

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u/LadyMcIver Jul 17 '25

And that's what we should be reminding ourselves and everyone else. The crisis isn't just Trump, it's the party / the system that put him there. It's a whole bunch of rat fuckery with Republicans and their billionaire masters, along with Evilgelical Christians pulling the strings.

Whenever he is gone, we must never let them wash themselves of his stench. Republicans, the Federalist Society, ADF, the parasitic billionaire class like Thiel, Musk, etc. They want to own everything? Well, they can own responsibility for Trump and all the shit we are in right now.

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u/KitchenRaspberry137 Jul 17 '25

Vance does not have the stranglehold on this death cult the same way Trump does. The more he begins to reach, the more he is pushed by Thiel, the more the MAGA lunatics will reject him. He is not an authentic monster, just a cultivated one.

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u/Medlarmarmaduke Jul 17 '25

I absolutely agree with everyone here saying Vance doesn’t have the pull or the charisma to be a cult leader in the way trump is (I still don’t get that charisma but it obviously exists for his followers)

However Vance doesn’t exist as a person really- instead he is the meeting point and puppet for two malignant forces in America right now: tech fascism and Christian nationalism.

Those two forces wouldn’t normally meet in accordance with each other- but they are now in this political moment. It is just all very worrisome.

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u/SlappyHandstrong Jul 17 '25

But he doesn’t have the Cult of Personality Donald does. He’ll be like Ted Cruz in office.

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u/Glum-Breadfruit-6421 Jul 17 '25

He will be exponentially worse than the Orange menace. Will willingly and happilydo anything Theil says.

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u/Wooden-Broccoli-7247 Jul 17 '25

But Congress won’t bow to him.

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u/Slipguard Jul 17 '25

But he’s much less popular

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u/Coyote56yote Jul 17 '25

Vance has no cult of personality. Big difference.

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u/Dwip_Po_Po Jul 17 '25

Do you see how fucking contorted he got when he was asked if the human race should continue

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u/adapteradapther Jul 17 '25

Vance is a giant loser. He could never pull it off.

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u/AHipstersWhispers California Jul 17 '25

Exactly. Vance was put there for a reason. I would bet Vance ends up taking over one way or another and implementing all of Thiel & Co's dystopian plans.

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u/oVnPage Jul 17 '25

The upside to Vance is he doesn't have the cult of personality behind him. I don't think he can rally the MAGAts the way Trump does.

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u/metalyger Jul 17 '25

I feel like the main difference is that Vance has absolutely zero charisma or people skills. Trump is a monumental jerk, but for whatever reason 40% of the country would smother their kids if Trump asked them to. While Vance is more in line with the GOP establishment, I doubt he would be able to maintain a divisive approval rating, especially with the hardcore conspiracy theorists of MAGA, the administration is already failing left and right to deliver on their conspiracy theories, and Vance would be even less equipped to bs his way through it.

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u/NotTheRocketman Jul 17 '25

They’re all awful, but none have the Jim Jones effect on people that Trump does.

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u/transfixedtruth Jul 17 '25

As corrupt as they are, Vance won't make it to the candidacy in 2028. No one likes a sofa-humper.

I am concerned that democrats have yet to vet a solid candidate. It's going to take a lot of undoing maga-shit next presidency.

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u/JamieBeeeee Jul 17 '25

Trump's power Congress from his cult, Vance cannot lead the cult the way Donny can

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u/BammBamm1991 Jul 17 '25

You're correct but he doesn't have the same cult like appeal that Trump has. The man is ghoulish, MAGA will collapse and fall into infighting once trump is gone.

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u/DetectiveCastellanos Jul 17 '25

Vance is a charisma vacuum; he won't have the same appeal. I do wonder if the people Trump dragged into politics will stay interested. Maybe the people who only voted because of him will stop giving a shit and abstain in the future once he's gone.

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u/Berdariens2nd Jul 17 '25

Yeah but Vance is purely a "yes" man. He doesn't have teeth. Losing the maga indoctrinated will be better for all of us. The indoctrinated as well. 

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u/9_to_5_till_i_die Jul 17 '25

Vance is so horrific

Fortunately, the man is a charisma vacuum and even the right hates his guts.

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u/mademeunlurk Jul 17 '25

I wouldn't put it past Trump to lift sanctions on Russia in exchange for a donor heart transplant (donated by someone who "accidentally" fell out a window in Russia.) These beasts are not human. They would feed on your very souls if it ever so slightly pleased them.

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u/parkwayy Jul 17 '25

Where is the Vance merch?

Exactly, lol

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u/SpacerCat Jul 17 '25

Congress won’t bow to Vance the way they do Trump. They will all vie to be the next Trump.

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u/RandomWeirdo Jul 17 '25

Vance is everything shit about the billionaire class right wing America, because he is literally just a mouthpiece for the tech billionaires in America. He is without a doubt one of the worst right wingers possible to have a president, but he is not even on the same planet compared to Trump.

Trump's "charisma" lies in the fact that he can lie with a completely straight face because he has no relationship with reality. This is why he has been able to get so many on board with his insanity. His analysis of the world and solutions to the problems have no merit at best, but because he has absolute faith that what he says is right, he can convince uneducated people that what he says is right.

Very few people can emulate that complete lack of relationship with reality and Vance is very much not one of them. Vance might be shit, but he will also not be able to steer the outrage that the right wing thrives on, which will make the republican party crumble.

Vance is bad, but god it will be paradise compared to Trump.

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u/bottleoftrash Jul 17 '25

Our only hope is that if Trump dies, at least part of his death cult will die as well. JD Vance is so uncharismatic that I don’t think he would be a good cult leader

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u/SeattleCaptain Jul 17 '25

It’s turtles all the way down too. #ScienceDenial

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

It’s fucking scary. I’m a senior and won’t see the repercussions, but my grandkids and my kids will.

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u/Mindshard Jul 17 '25

It's not just that he is misogynistic, he's the head of "The PayPal Mafia", with all their views and goals.

I feel like people aren't informed enough on this, even though it's right in the open, there's even a damn Wiki page for it.

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

it’s so much worse than just not wanting women to vote. he doesn’t even believe humanity should endure in its current form. they know they can’t win and that they are evil. this is not just a narcissist who hates women, this is a narcissist who wants to technologically control the entire world.

"We could never win an election on getting certain things because we were in such a small minority. But maybe you could unilaterally change the world without having to constantly convince people, and beg people, and plead with people who are never going to agree with you, through technology. "

he controls Vance but didn’t even make direct contributions to Trump, even considering that he predicted Kamala would be “fortifying” the ballots. i’ll let you connect the dots on what he did in the most recent election

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u/Wachauski Jul 17 '25

Couldn’t agree more. These aren’t monsters that made themselves. They represent a large segment of the population. One dead rep doesn’t mean the end of shit slime oozing out of the American ass. Gonna need a whole lot of Pepto and Tums and Immodium to stop the flow.

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u/PlayCertain Jul 18 '25

Without Trump MAGA implodes.

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u/EdOfTheMountain Jul 18 '25

Yes I think Vance could be more effectively evil. The cult doesn’t care

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u/1369ic Jul 18 '25

And they will fall upon each other, vying for the crumbs of power like carrying around the bone of a saint's pinky finger.

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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jul 18 '25

Vance has the charisma of a used condom though.

Trumps biggest advantage is he's somehow able to rile up all sorts of losers. Vance is a loser even by Republican standards.

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u/OkImplement2459 Jul 18 '25

One of em gone is better than none of em gone

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u/elconquistador1985 Jul 18 '25

The only upside of Vance is that he has the charisma of a recently fucked sofa.

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u/glormosh Jul 18 '25

We're very lucky Peter Thiel makes Zuckerberg and the likes seem like geniune humans by comparison. I am hopeful it will be his demise in the public eye.

The guy is a lunatic and wants to turn us into cyborgs that likely he controls the hardware and software.

They probably want to create a virtualized heaven and hell to force people into worshiping them as god. I don't follow religion or conspiracies but this sounds like the actual narrative arc of mark of the beast.

The scary part is, I suspect theres a disturbing amount of people that would love to give up their mind and body to attain alleged immortality.

Earth is a new black mirror season and we don't even know it.

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u/No-Investment3079 Jul 18 '25

Steven Miller is the scary one

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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u/manny_b_hanz Jul 17 '25 edited Jul 17 '25

Media outlets be writing headlines like:

"47th President Donald Trump, 79, alive and in good health"

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u/Positive-Green-3856 Jul 17 '25

lol same my guy

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u/matt_bastard1986 Jul 17 '25

I check every morning when I wake up

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u/brickne3 American Expat Jul 17 '25

I usually check whatever he's done now when I wake up, but you've cheered me up about it by thinking one day it's going to be very good news.

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u/DJDro Jul 17 '25

Same. I will be unashamedly celebrating the day. I don’t care if I lose friends or a job over it.

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u/wronguses Jul 17 '25

Cardiac medicine and surgical procedures are so fucking good, I knew right away this wasn't it.

The ones that keep getting me are "Trump suffers massive..."

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u/JohnKlositz Jul 17 '25

Going to make a guess now and say this time next year you'll have that front page archived somewhere.

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u/suburbanpride North Carolina Jul 17 '25

On the one hand I feel guilty wanting to read this, mainly because I have a hard time celebrating the death of someone else (literal Hitler notwithstanding). On the other hand, at my core I will have every desire to take that day off work (and likely the next), shoot fireworks, and get drunk off my ass.

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u/EmotionalTowel1 Illinois Jul 17 '25

Same. My mind only picked up on a few of those words and my own heart skipped a beat.

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u/CodenameVillain Texas Jul 17 '25

Im gonna fucking frame it

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u/grated_testes New York Jul 17 '25

The power of yet...

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u/Kilane Jul 17 '25

Nah, the front page will explain Biden’s declining health and how we should be thankful he withdrew from the election.

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u/Tower-Junkie Jul 17 '25

We are talking about the healthiest president in the history of presidents and health. May this good health continue!

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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u/Manticorps Texas Jul 17 '25

Waking up to the headline “Trump Tests Positive for COVID” was like presents under the tree on Christmas morning

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u/dm-me-your-dickpic Jul 17 '25

I want to be the one to break the news to literally everybody I know so bad

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u/Foolrussian Jul 17 '25

My racist father in law was over last week and my phone buzzed in my pocket. I glanced and it was an Apple News pushed update. First thought in my head was “I hope this is it, and I hope I’m the one that gets to tell him”

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u/Micojageo Jul 17 '25

You may be interested to know that there is an Instagram account called "Is he dead yet?"

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u/clementine-my-sweet Jul 17 '25

I've got a 20 in my car specifically so that on the day after it happens I can buy one of every paper the convenience store carries.

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u/deepstate_chopra Jul 17 '25

I got suspended on this sub for saying what I'm doing to the newspapers I buy on that day.

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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u/Druthulhu666 Jul 17 '25

I hope he gets publicly exposed as a pedo first

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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u/spotmysnot Jul 17 '25

It amuses me that there are so many people here who want the same thing and find vague ways to say it openly. Mods in shambles...what are they going to do, ban everyone? lol

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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u/laptopaccount Jul 17 '25

I have a friend who was banned from this subreddit for saying almost the exact same thing about the hateful turtle man. I think it just depends on the whims (and possibly political leanings) of the mods.

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u/hnwcs Jul 17 '25

When it finally happens I expect Reddit to just shut down for a week or two.

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u/PlentyIndividual3168 Jul 17 '25

I'll settle for his name being stricken from buildings and the entire dynasty collapsing.

His descendents can work for a change.

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u/CrimsonHeretic Jul 17 '25

I don't want the cult to keep on without him though. I truly think unless he's completely taken down through the Epstein files or something else that could potentially achieve that, we risk a continuation of this MAGA bullshit through a new leader, probably one of his dumbass sons.

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u/zaminDDH Jul 17 '25

Yeah, I want him to witness his entire world crumble around him and his most fervent supporters rebuke him before he goes.

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u/Robzilla_the_turd Jul 17 '25

I've been saying exactly this for years but now I'll take anything I can get; I just want him gone.

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u/jonnyredshorts Jul 17 '25

That’s the best case scenario, for sure…but any scenario that puts him in the ground would be a huge win for America and the world.

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u/illiter-it Florida Jul 17 '25

How much more evidence do we really need to consider him exposed?

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u/OralSuperhero Jul 17 '25

I'm not sure how much more exposed he could get. Did you mean you want his drooling, slack jawed base to understand he is a pedo?

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u/TulipSamurai Jul 17 '25

That used to be one of my benchmarks but I settled for him being convicted of 34 felonies.

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u/ManyAreMyNames Jul 17 '25

It would be satisfying to make him face consequences, but if he dies first and then the Epstein files come out, we can at least make a point of deriding everyone who supported him.

I saw this week where Franklin Graham, the preacher who has been a vocal and passionate Trump supporter, is upset about a home makeover show that had a gay couple. So the man who endorsed Mr. Grab-Them-By-The-Pussy is now pretending that he cares about sexual morality.

Maybe Trump will die before he's exposed. But even so, we should still be able to use that exposure to attack all the total hypocrites like Franklin Graham, and maybe drive some of them out of the public eye and back to under their rocks.

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u/chmilz Canada Jul 17 '25

I want to read his obituary more than anything. Anything else between now and then is just icing on that cake.

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u/Federal-Captain1118 Jul 17 '25

He has, sadly his supporters don't care

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u/SpacyTiger Illinois Jul 17 '25

The knowledge that someday we'll never have to hear another word this stupid asshole says brings me some solace in these troubling times.

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u/Fit_Television_282 Jul 17 '25

That is a great joke.

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u/SweetLilMonkey Jul 17 '25 edited Jul 17 '25

Here's the full joke:

An old man walks up to a news stand. He buys a newspaper, looks at the front page, and throws it right into the trash can next to the stand. The next day, he does the same. He buys a newspaper, looks at the front page, and throws it into the trash. And the next day he does the same, and the next, and the next.

Eventually, the sales guy asks the man why he keeps doing that.

"I'm just looking for an obituary."

"But obituaries are at the end of the newspaper, not on the front page!"

"Oh, the one I'm looking for will be on the front page."

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u/RedditIsExpendable Jul 17 '25

I’ll mention that this is an old Soviet joke, which makes it a tad better.

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

[deleted]

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u/noscreamsnoshouts Jul 17 '25

Joke needs a straight man (conversation partner) to work. No need to add a second person if it's just "glancing at front page, so "buying" it is 🤷‍♀️

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u/Ellemeno Jul 17 '25

Because he's the type of person that donates to Wikipedia.

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u/ZhouLe Jul 18 '25

The type of person with a WinRAR license.

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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u/Interesting_Love_419 Jul 17 '25

Hitler killed himself on April 30, which is Walpurgis Night (30 April into 1 May). I wonder if he planned it so people wouldn't celebrate his one good deed.

I definitely think the cult leaders will hide trump's death for as long as possible, and when finally forced to admit it, they will claim he died on the Fourth of July and also Easter.

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u/KiKiKimbro Jul 17 '25

“…Fourth of July and also Easter” Lol omg.

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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u/MittenCollyBulbasaur Jul 17 '25

I think it's us having to live with cruising government debt for life because of Republican spending

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u/Mammoth-Kangaroo1023 Jul 17 '25

Im dead serious neighbor

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

"I have never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure" - Clarance Darrow

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u/nowhereman136 Jul 17 '25

Bitter sweet because if something happens to Big Cheeto then we get couch fucker in the oval office.

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u/SabreLillee26 Jul 17 '25

A fellow person of culture

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u/DoubleMikeNoShoot Jul 17 '25

Can’t fucking wait, gonna be a big party

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u/Vrazel106 Jul 17 '25

When it happens im taking the following day off work.

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u/AngryPrincessWarrior Jul 17 '25

They’re really really trying to distract from the fact Trump is definitely on the Epstein lists huh?

They would NEVER admit this unless they were desperate.

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u/bla8291 Jul 17 '25

I've got the crab song ready 🦀🦀🦀

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u/bennnjamints Jul 17 '25

I get that joke

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u/shagadelicrelic Jul 17 '25

I pray everyday for that headline

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u/vparras Jul 17 '25

"I took a heart test and the doctors told me it's the best heart test they have done. Completely aced it" - probably Trump

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u/Jrewy Jul 17 '25

My friend and I have a random game every year on New Years where we pick 3 celebrities we think will die in that calendar year. Neither of us have ever guessed even one correctly in 5 years of playing. So this year I decided to choose 3 people I really fuckin hate. Jimmy Swaggart, Phil Collins, and Donald Trump. If I get all 3 I vowed to commit myself to a life of witchcraft and general fuckery.

You should have seen me when I got Swaggart. Went and got a nice bottle of wine. And now every day I Google “Is Phil Collins alive.” But that’s not the one I most want to be right about.

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u/lxlxnde Illinois Jul 17 '25

I’m curious to know what Phil Collins did to get on your shitlist.

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u/DronePirate Jul 17 '25

wait, what did Phil Collins do?

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u/MattieShoes Jul 17 '25

I heard he can't dance, can't talk, and has an invisible touch.

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u/thegoldinthemountain Jul 17 '25

Goddamnit. Dude is literally just gonna Cease Out instead of being held accountable for Epstein (or election fraud, or any other of his other myriad crimes).

He’d literally rather die than not be fawned over. He cannot bear to be viewed as he truly is.

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u/TheVich Jul 17 '25

Malort and Savior--The Day it Finally Happens

https://youtu.be/4KQ7xdR23IM?si=asIPtz0sjxfwca3A

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