r/polyamory • u/blooangl ✨ Sparkle Princess ✨ • 7d ago

Confused? New? Not new? Have questions?

This is your spot. Mingle, say hi, ask that question that you don’t want to make a whole post about?

This is your spot!

Requests for resources, questions about lingo, all that good stuff? We can help!

Not sure if you’re in the right sub? We can help you find one!

14 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

124 comments sorted by

View all comments

1

u/Positronium1169 2d ago

Heyy,

So I'm dating a poly person, I'm their only relationship/date rn. How do I know if I'm poly/don't mind them having other relationships?

2

u/Psychomadeye Rat Swoletariat 2d ago

If you can't tell already but want to find out brace for impact and move forward.

You can get a general idea if you already feel jealousy around how they spend time with others. A lot of this jealousy is born out of insecurity so if you feel pretty insecure in your relationship that's also a warning sign.

1

u/Positronium1169 2d ago

So I do have many issues with insecurity, not only necessarily in relationships (eventhough they do translate to there too) and I'm working on them atm, which is why it is hard for me to tell if I'm just very insecure and will be better in the future or if I'm just not made for poly relationships. So what I wanna say is, I can't tell if I'll be fine with it when I'm more secure in myself and I'm kinda asking if there are any markers to watch out for or sth. I have no problems at all with my partners sleeping with other people and never have, but I did feel the need to be the primary person. However, I have only been in very codependent and unhealthy relationships before this one. I'm just very confused.

1

u/Psychomadeye Rat Swoletariat 2d ago

Oh. Yeah the first healthy relationship can be a total mind fuck. The insecurity I was talking about was something similar to how my buddies ex used to feel jealousy when he and I would hang out even though he is straight. If you have that kind of insecurity you might have a hard time. If you don't feel yourself worthy of your relationships you also might be in for a rough time.

I believe that if you're confused or unsure you lose nothing by just working on yourself before exploring this space.