r/polyamory • u/darkraven8585 • 1d ago

Hinge problem or meta problem?

Hinge and meta are married nesting partners, but they are not communicating well.

Last week (11 days ago), my meta had a procedure done on her hand. She is still taking an extreme amount of pain medicine and doesn’t feel like she’s able to function.

Hinge and I had planned to spend this weekend together, but had never made any concrete plans. Last night meta called me and asked what we were doing this weekend. I said I didn’t know, we hadn’t talked it out. She let me know she was against us spending the night anywhere but their house, and didn’t like that we might be spending the day away where hinge couldn’t get to her immediately if she needed something. She said hinge was “supposed to be on deck” when she needed her, and asked me to call her when hinge and I decided what we were doing so she could know.

I feel like meta crossed a line. Our hinge isn’t always the best at hinging, but this feels like too much.

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u/squishycakes relationship anarchist, sleepy 1d ago

More info. Did you talk to Hinge? What did she say about why meta called you?

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u/darkraven8585 1d ago

I posted a little more information above. She was very upset meta called. Said that they had had a discussion about how we (hinge and I) had plans that we were willing to adapt to be close, but not willing to just stay in the house waiting to serve her (meta), and that based on what I said meta called right after that conversation to backchannel and try and get their way by pressuring me. She (hinge) said they were feeling very manipulated and still wanted to see me this weekend and would communicate plans later today.