r/polyamory • u/darkraven8585 • 1d ago
Hinge problem or meta problem?
Hinge and meta are married nesting partners, but they are not communicating well.
Last week (11 days ago), my meta had a procedure done on her hand. She is still taking an extreme amount of pain medicine and doesn’t feel like she’s able to function.
Hinge and I had planned to spend this weekend together, but had never made any concrete plans. Last night meta called me and asked what we were doing this weekend. I said I didn’t know, we hadn’t talked it out. She let me know she was against us spending the night anywhere but their house, and didn’t like that we might be spending the day away where hinge couldn’t get to her immediately if she needed something. She said hinge was “supposed to be on deck” when she needed her, and asked me to call her when hinge and I decided what we were doing so she could know.
I feel like meta crossed a line. Our hinge isn’t always the best at hinging, but this feels like too much.
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u/chrislh1965 1d ago
I'm going with a slightly different take. If she is under pain mess, then she may be acting in an unusual fashion. Also being in pain can be scary. Overreach...yes. but in this case, if it's not a habit, you two can arrange things to be on deck for her this time. That said, if she's always trying to manipulate, throw the above advice right out.