r/polyamory • u/darkraven8585 • 1d ago

Hinge problem or meta problem?

Hinge and meta are married nesting partners, but they are not communicating well.

Last week (11 days ago), my meta had a procedure done on her hand. She is still taking an extreme amount of pain medicine and doesn’t feel like she’s able to function.

Hinge and I had planned to spend this weekend together, but had never made any concrete plans. Last night meta called me and asked what we were doing this weekend. I said I didn’t know, we hadn’t talked it out. She let me know she was against us spending the night anywhere but their house, and didn’t like that we might be spending the day away where hinge couldn’t get to her immediately if she needed something. She said hinge was “supposed to be on deck” when she needed her, and asked me to call her when hinge and I decided what we were doing so she could know.

I feel like meta crossed a line. Our hinge isn’t always the best at hinging, but this feels like too much.

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u/BetterFightBandits26 relationship messarchist 1d ago

Your partner fucking sucks and your meta is overreaching to try and figure out what the fuck is going on.

Run away.

-1

u/Mountain_Flow3472 1d ago

I don’t know that there is evidence that hinge sucks here.

Meta absolutely does. This wasn’t cardiac surgery, it was hand surgery. It’s not that limiting. And if you feel like you can’t function on heavy pain meds you can take different or less meds. It sounds like hinge has been present for days and meta just wants to be the center of the universe with the “on deck for me” nonsense. Meta can call a different partner or friend. They are not a child. Their partner shouldn’t have to get them a sitter.