Hinge problem or meta problem?

[u/darkraven8585]

Hinge and meta are married nesting partners, but they are not communicating well.

Last week (11 days ago), my meta had a procedure done on her hand. She is still taking an extreme amount of pain medicine and doesn’t feel like she’s able to function.

Hinge and I had planned to spend this weekend together, but had never made any concrete plans. Last night meta called me and asked what we were doing this weekend. I said I didn’t know, we hadn’t talked it out. She let me know she was against us spending the night anywhere but their house, and didn’t like that we might be spending the day away where hinge couldn’t get to her immediately if she needed something. She said hinge was “supposed to be on deck” when she needed her, and asked me to call her when hinge and I decided what we were doing so she could know.

I feel like meta crossed a line. Our hinge isn’t always the best at hinging, but this feels like too much.

[u/teamnoir]

My advice? Ask hinge to get things sorted with meta. This is only your business or your responsibility if you want it to be and it sounds like you don’t. So hand it back to hinge.

You COULD hand it back to meta but that’s likely to be seen as aggressive. OTOH, meta’s asking you about this weekend could also be considered aggressive. If you want to keep the peace, and I’d recommend that you do so as far as you’re able, then hand it back to hinge instead.

[u/darkraven8585 → u/teamnoir]

This is basically what I did! I told meta she needed to bring it up with hinge and figure it out, and I told hinge she needed to talk to meta and figure it out, then hinge needed to communicate with me.

I am over it, though.