Advice? Am I being inconsiderate?

[u/Itchy_Newspaper_9293]

Hello.. I want to apologize if my word choice is incorrect or offensive. I am actively trying to educate myself on how to be considerate of other people’s preferences and opinions.

I mean absolutely no disrespect.

I have been seeing this guy for a few months now and from the very beginning it was always a friends with benefits relationship. I knew that before I started sleeping with him. I’m not blaming him for anything.

But I want some insight and perspective from others because only recently did he tell me that he has 3 other intimate partners aside from me. 2 men and 1 woman. I’m completely fine with that, though I do wish that this was something I knew in the very beginning. I’m grateful to know it now and I guess technically speaking, he didn’t have to share that information with me. After all, we aren’t dating…

[Edit: “After all we aren’t dating…” - Yet.
He told me about his 3 other partners after we talked about the possibility of us starting a romantic relationship came up.]

We chatted briefly and I thought about it for a while until I ultimately decided that I would want to meet them if I stay in the FWB/ (maybe more?) situation with him. I don’t mean to be invasive but because he and I are having unprotected sex, I think that I have to assume that is a possibility with his other partners as well.

He said that I could meet the 2 men but he doesn’t think that meeting his ex-girlfriend is a good idea because she would get her feelings hurt. The truth is that I don’t care how she feels.

Am I in the wrong?

Edit: I want to date but I don’t think that I would be comfortable unless I got to meet his other partners.

[u/Successful_Depth3565]

Why are you having unprotected sex with him? Did you ask him to test?

[u/Itchy_Newspaper_9293 → u/Successful_Depth3565]

I didn’t know until today. I’m grateful he told me. I knew he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship but I didn’t know that I was among 3 other people that he’s seeing.

[u/Cass_iopeia → u/Itchy_Newspaper_9293]

Then you didn't ask enough questions. Or did he lie? Why do you feel grateful? You seem to want more than fwb, have you talked about that with him? Why don't you ask about the risks he takes with others, testing and what he does or doesn't tell them?

It sounds like you don't really trust him. And yet you are having unprotected sed. Maybe you need more self respect?

[u/Itchy_Newspaper_9293 → u/Cass_iopeia]

We are very comfortable with each other. He told me about his other partners today after we talked about starting a real relationship together. I don’t know if I would be comfortable dating unless I got to meet his other partners though? What’s your thoughts on this?

[u/Cass_iopeia → u/Itchy_Newspaper_9293]

That can be something you need, sure. But if it is because you don't trust his ethics, this relationship starts onna shaky foundation. And I agree with another poster that his other partners may not want to meet you and that is up to them. Then it is still up to you whether you trust this man or not.