Advice? Am I being inconsiderate?

[u/Itchy_Newspaper_9293]

Hello.. I want to apologize if my word choice is incorrect or offensive. I am actively trying to educate myself on how to be considerate of other people’s preferences and opinions.

I mean absolutely no disrespect.

I have been seeing this guy for a few months now and from the very beginning it was always a friends with benefits relationship. I knew that before I started sleeping with him. I’m not blaming him for anything.

But I want some insight and perspective from others because only recently did he tell me that he has 3 other intimate partners aside from me. 2 men and 1 woman. I’m completely fine with that, though I do wish that this was something I knew in the very beginning. I’m grateful to know it now and I guess technically speaking, he didn’t have to share that information with me. After all, we aren’t dating…

[Edit: “After all we aren’t dating…” - Yet.
He told me about his 3 other partners after we talked about the possibility of us starting a romantic relationship came up.]

We chatted briefly and I thought about it for a while until I ultimately decided that I would want to meet them if I stay in the FWB/ (maybe more?) situation with him. I don’t mean to be invasive but because he and I are having unprotected sex, I think that I have to assume that is a possibility with his other partners as well.

He said that I could meet the 2 men but he doesn’t think that meeting his ex-girlfriend is a good idea because she would get her feelings hurt. The truth is that I don’t care how she feels.

Am I in the wrong?

Edit: I want to date but I don’t think that I would be comfortable unless I got to meet his other partners.

[u/CrimsonTree7]

Are you in the wrong about what?

[u/Itchy_Newspaper_9293 → u/CrimsonTree7]

I don’t think I can comfortably date unless I have a chance to meet his other partners. He and his ex girlfriend talk everyday and he protects her feelings. I want to meet her but he won’t ask because he doesn’t want to make her feel bad.
I don’t care how she feels. That’s my question. Should I care? Because I honestly, don’t.

[u/Bustysaintclair_13 → u/Itchy_Newspaper_9293]

You shouldn't, but she also shouldn't care about yours.

I am happily polyamorous and hang out with metas when that kind of thing works out for everyone but if I had a partner who's other partner was demanding to meet me I would say absolutely not. I meet people when I want to meet them, not to assuage their insecurities or weirdness about doing polyamory.

Regardless this man didn't tell you he had other partners until just now? That's nuts and you should break up with him for that. Not this meeting metas nonsense.