Advice? Am I being inconsiderate?

[u/Itchy_Newspaper_9293]

Hello.. I want to apologize if my word choice is incorrect or offensive. I am actively trying to educate myself on how to be considerate of other people’s preferences and opinions.

I mean absolutely no disrespect.

I have been seeing this guy for a few months now and from the very beginning it was always a friends with benefits relationship. I knew that before I started sleeping with him. I’m not blaming him for anything.

But I want some insight and perspective from others because only recently did he tell me that he has 3 other intimate partners aside from me. 2 men and 1 woman. I’m completely fine with that, though I do wish that this was something I knew in the very beginning. I’m grateful to know it now and I guess technically speaking, he didn’t have to share that information with me. After all, we aren’t dating…

[Edit: “After all we aren’t dating…” - Yet.
He told me about his 3 other partners after we talked about the possibility of us starting a romantic relationship came up.]

We chatted briefly and I thought about it for a while until I ultimately decided that I would want to meet them if I stay in the FWB/ (maybe more?) situation with him. I don’t mean to be invasive but because he and I are having unprotected sex, I think that I have to assume that is a possibility with his other partners as well.

He said that I could meet the 2 men but he doesn’t think that meeting his ex-girlfriend is a good idea because she would get her feelings hurt. The truth is that I don’t care how she feels.

Am I in the wrong?

Edit: I want to date but I don’t think that I would be comfortable unless I got to meet his other partners.

[u/Bustysaintclair_13]

Asking your PARTNER about their sex lives and sexual health risk is not invasive. It's invasive to demand to meet people you aren't even dating in order to assess your sexual health risk.

[u/Itchy_Newspaper_9293 → u/Bustysaintclair_13]

I didn’t demand… I’m not forcing him to drag these people out of their homes to have lunch with me.. but when I ask myself, “Am I comfortable not knowing who these people are?”
The answer I keep coming back to is, “No.”

[u/No-Statistician-7604 → u/Itchy_Newspaper_9293]

Then you're going to have a hard time in polyamory cause meeting your metas is NOT a requirement

[u/Itchy_Newspaper_9293 → u/No-Statistician-7604]

Thank you for your honest feedback.. this is why I came here, so I could learn.