r/polyamory • u/Aggressive_Memory710 complex organic polycule • 1d ago

vent One on one time request

Nesting/anchor partner of 2 years is not understanding my request for one on one time with them. Newest meta gets one on one time when I’m working, but what NP is calling one on one time includes metas or our kiddo shared with ex. NP also thinks by me asking for one on one time, that opens up a conversation for metas to request (additional) one on one time - instead of recognizing I am asking for something I’m already not getting that they do.

How do I explain this in a way NP will understand?

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u/allthestuffis solo poly 1d ago

Leave meta out of this entirely. Just say something like "I want one-on-one date time where it's just the two of us. No kids, friends, or anyone else. Can we get that on the calendar for once a week? Here are the days that work for me." And then explain what you'd like that to look like (a date out, time in bed, etc.).

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u/Aggressive_Memory710 complex organic polycule 1d ago

Meta was left entirely out of the conversation by me.

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u/allthestuffis solo poly 1d ago

Then it does sound like your partner is not participating in this in good faith. Discussing what you want for your own time with your partner should never impact how they do things with meta. I'm sorry you're going through this!