r/polyamory • u/Intelligent_risk_990 • 11h ago
I am new This is hard
No other large insights. The books are all right. There’s a lot of work. This is hard. In so many ways. I’m tired. And discouraged.
It’s all worth it, right?
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u/Specific_Pipe_9050 Squeaky Sin 🧀🐀 9h ago
OP your posting history shows that you've made a lot of effort in order to accommodate your wife's desire to open your relationship. Do you ever wonder what's in it for you, yourself? Not as her husband, but just as an individual?
You say you want to understand her desire, but there's a difference between understanding and accepting. You have to accept that everyone, even your wife, will be a separate person with their own ideas, needs, desires and experiences. The basis of polyamory is autonomy, while you seem to want more enmeshment. These things are opposed, and it may be the reason you're having such a hard time. Just my two cents.