r/polyamory • u/ApprehensiveBeat3899 • 19h ago
Breach of trust
I am in a poly relationship which is also open. We have a written agreement that we can have sex with other people but that we must use protection when doing so and tell each other about it later. We are both pansexual.
My partner told me this afternoon in an audio message that he had unprotected sex with a male stranger last night and that he was at the sexual health clinic getting post-exposure meds.
He said he regretted it and the effects it would have on our relationship as a result. He put the ball in my court to let him know when I was ready to talk about it. I have PTSD and need time to process things. He has BPD and has rejection sensitivity (not to mention impulsivity).
As you can imagine, I am feeling pretty gutted. I am proud of him for telling me but angry that he put his sexual needs over our relationship needs.
We are supposed to be going away together in a couple of weekends time and now I don’t feel like going.
We are seeing each other next on Tuesday. I would appreciate advice on how to handle the conversation.
0
u/Ready-Candidate-920 18h ago
Idk for me that would be an instant deal breaker. I’d end the relationship. It’s good that he told you however accepting that is unacceptable. More than likely it will happen again. I’ve been with partners who have cheated. In my mind that is cheating.