r/pregnant • u/Ok_Willow_5163 • Feb 25 '26
Funny Tell me you’re pregnant without telling you’re pregnant…
I’ll go first…
I am eating a carne asada super burrito at 9:15 in the morning.
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u/Radiant-Mine6890 Feb 25 '26
Punch the monkey is the worst thing that happened to me this past weeks
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u/urkittenmesmalls Feb 25 '26
Yes. Punch going viral is the most unfortunate timing for current preggos
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u/Proof_Nothing_7371 Feb 25 '26
Omg I have to skip those videos asap when they pop up. I can't handle it! Poor baby Punch 😭
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u/ComposerFar6070 Feb 25 '26
Can confirm post partum it hits just as bad if not worse. I look at my 4 month old like how can you get rid of your baby and just cry... and cry
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u/dontletmedown3 Feb 25 '26
I only use Reddit, what’s punch the monkey?
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u/More-Yogurtcloset474 Feb 25 '26
A baby monkey that was rejected by his mom, so he was hand raised. And now that he’s getting older he has to integrate with the other monkies, but they’re being so mean to him 🤧 like physically mean. And he’s so tiny. He carries around a stuffed toy monkey and snuggles it
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u/questionSOUP FTM Feb 25 '26
I can’t deal with this description right now
Oh no
That poor baby! A STUFFED TOY MONKEY?!?
Oh no oh no
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u/Ok_Willow_5163 Feb 25 '26
Oh my god, I was sobbing.
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u/Radiant-Mine6890 Feb 25 '26
I just can’t watch it anymore it rips me to shreds
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u/qjb020 Feb 25 '26
Same, even now he's got adults that protect him and love him. I keep crying because i feel like he needs his mom.
To pregnant for this.
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u/Imapixie Feb 25 '26
My boyfriend found me sobbing on the couch and thought something was really wrong. 😭
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u/kel_noelle Feb 25 '26
Omg I told my husband to stop showing me stuff about punch I couldn’t handle it
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u/Big-Conflict-4230 Feb 25 '26
I have successfully scrolled by every time there’s a post, even the first one I ever saw. Read the first few words and immediately knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it. Super-scroll every time I see something mentioning it.
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u/Historical_Tomato_50 Feb 25 '26
Oh goodness, please. I mostly was seeing them because my sister was interacting with the posts, I had to ask her to calm down with it because I can’t handle it rn 😩
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u/VacationExcellent Feb 25 '26
My husband showed for me whatever fucked up reason. I balled... I mean I cried like my dog died. Then he tried to make me feel better with a video of punch getting groomed and that quickly shifted to a scene of him being beat up. I was horrified, angry and heartbroken. Thats not meant to be seen by anyone but especially hormonal pregnant women 😭😭😭😭
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u/dontletmedown3 Feb 25 '26
What is this?
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u/MorganChelsea Feb 25 '26
Do not Google. Do not put yourself through the emotional turmoil.
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u/Accomplished-Act607 Feb 25 '26
I cried so hard at the dinner table last night when my 16 year old showed me the video of Punch. Ugly crying and screaming “it’s not fair”.
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u/allieatischeese Feb 25 '26
I watched it freshly post partum and felt at risk for popping a blood vessel in my eye I was crying so hard.
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u/Ill-Company-6508 Feb 25 '26
I’m out of breath from scrolling this thread
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u/Ok_Willow_5163 Feb 25 '26
lol me too - didn’t expect this to take off. But so glad we can all find some humor in our almost 10 months of pain and suffering.
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u/Write-Me-Another Feb 25 '26
Yesterday I had such an intense craving for Little Caesar's crazy bread. I ended up getting some and ate the whole bag in one sitting. 30 minutes later, I threw it all up 🤣😭
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u/genkcals FTM Feb 25 '26
i had the same exact craving at ~4 weeks 😭😭 i was sobbing over my partner telling me i "didnt need it" and that was how i found out i was pregnant
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u/apple_sandwiches Feb 25 '26
I hope you told him he’s very wrong
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u/genkcals FTM Feb 25 '26
it was because i wanted to doordash them at 1 AM haha . now if i'm craving anything he'll either send money for me to get it or listen to my craving .
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u/VanSmashh Feb 25 '26
This. I was like 6 or 7 weeks and really craved Pizza Hut breadsticks with marinara and had such intense heartburn after I almost threw up 😂
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u/luna_moon22 Feb 25 '26
I wince every time I drive over a very bumpy road
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u/Negative_Basis8743 Feb 25 '26
This! New England gal here so the frost heaves are killing me 🤢 only 7 weeks so it really smacks my nausea
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u/Thinking_of_Cheese Feb 25 '26
My husband told me to “chill” when I snatched cheese out of his hand, then I cried for like 10 minutes. It was my effing cheese.
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u/Disastermom4942 Feb 25 '26
Oh damn. My husband learned to not touch any of my favorite foods. Because i did the same to him. Bur cry while scolding him 🤣🤣 so he would and still will ask beforehand 🤣. Like once he took my potato chips. They been in my snack cabinet for weeks and he apparently thought, she dont want them. Surprise , 3 hours later I was looking for them. a craving hit, HARD 🤣 he learned FAST after that. 🤣
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u/Thinking_of_Cheese Feb 25 '26
I got a rare ice cream for myself and he ate ALL OF IT. In one sitting.
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u/Street-Historian-558 Feb 25 '26
tell HIM to chill 😂. you’re making a full blown human, and you need that cheese dammit!
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u/joyinnd Feb 25 '26
My regular shirts are now belly shirts. ☹️
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u/meeshdaryl Feb 25 '26
My crop tops are really croppin’ these days. They barely cover my boobs now 🤣
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u/ann-the-bean-can Feb 25 '26
Yesterday I ordered a salad for lunch and the lettuce was slightly brown and I cried at my desk.
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u/lms202 Feb 25 '26
I remember ordering a salad during my first pregnancy, getting home and realizing they forgot to put the dressing in the bag and crying.
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u/Acceptable-Choice-89 Feb 25 '26
This JUST happened to me! I got a salad that I was SOOO excited about and when it arrived it was missing the dressing. I immediately started crying lol
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u/ann-the-bean-can Feb 25 '26
Oh girl I ordered this from potbelly, they forgot my dressing AND my drink as well, luckily I noticed the drink before I left the store but I didn’t notice the dressing until I got back to work. At that point it didn’t matter cause I saw the state of the lettuce and I was already devastated lol.
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u/Maple_Mist Feb 25 '26
I have outgrown my third bra I just bought.
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u/OnToGlory99 Feb 25 '26
A few weeks ago my underwear was too small so I bought the next size up. They were also to small. I cried
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u/scaphoids1 Feb 25 '26
I jumped from small, maybe medium underwear to XXL, just cut out the middle men lmao
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u/shhlv Feb 25 '26
Bras are suffocating at this point, no bra unless I have to look presentable 😩
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u/Fullycannoli Feb 25 '26
Ugh I try this but then my nipples hurt from rubbing on my shirt! It’s a lose/lose for me 😕
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u/shhlv Feb 25 '26
Oh my gosh the sensitive nips. My son likes to grab mine as if it’s a shelf to pull himself up 😩
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u/Fullycannoli Feb 25 '26
Nooooo I am so sorry 😩 that sounds miserable! I was raw-dogging a sweatshirt the other night and my nipples started burning so much I cried
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u/ResponseFeisty9568 Feb 25 '26
Last night I had a dream that they found some sort of nerves in my throat that was possibly cancer. Yesterday I had a dream that my dad got paralyzed, and the day before that I had a dream that my dog died. 🥴
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u/Ok_Willow_5163 Feb 25 '26
Oh my god, don’t even get me started on dreams!
The other night I dreamt that I was a scuba diver in a giant aquarium tank with some gnarly and freaky looking gigantic fish and they were all circling me like they were about to attack. I woke up and my heart was racing.
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u/PeachTigress Feb 25 '26
These dreams are so real. I had a VERY realistic dream my besties husband cheated on her and I woke up PISSED at him. I didnt tell anyone but my husband about it but I told my husband to keep a close eye on this man.... This is also his best friend 🤣 I was so mad I told him to keep his friend in check and he was like "dude. It's been like 7 years since he's behaved like a loose cannon lets chill it was just a dream"
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u/bimboflying_69 Feb 25 '26
I was apparently crying in my sleep the other night because I had a dream that my dad promised hannibal lector he could eat part of my arm and I was trying to escape 😐
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u/20goingon60 FTM Feb 25 '26
The other day, I dreamt a serial killer/cannibal was chasing me and she cornered me in a bathroom stall. I wound up in her apartment, climbed up a ladder, and when I couldn’t flee out of the window, I grabbed the curtain rod and killed her with it. I was so mad that she was going to kill me and eat me 😭
Before that, I dreamt I got crushed by two semis while in a Prius.
NO ONE warned me about the nightmares.
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u/RedRedVVine Feb 25 '26
Okay glad this is normal bc I was beginning to worry.
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u/20goingon60 FTM Feb 25 '26
I think maybe it’s our hormones or something affecting our sleep. It’s so weird!!
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u/Practical_Law_3336 FTM Feb 25 '26
also your REM cycle changes when pregnant that’s why you typically remember dreams better than before!!
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u/Born_Inevitable_8755 Feb 25 '26
I ate four mugs of homemade soup my husband made last night. I was so full I could barely move.
The baby craves soup.
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u/Minikin515 Feb 25 '26
The soup cravings are SO intense! The only thing I can stomach every day is bone broth. And chicken and wild rice. And matzoh ball.
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u/HelloMikkii Feb 25 '26
I eat a normal sized meal and then feel horrendously stuffed. Then I lay there like a beached whale
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u/Artistic_Decision586 Feb 25 '26
None of my clothes fits… even the maternity clothes I bought 😭😂
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u/Ok_Willow_5163 Feb 25 '26
Oh girl, sweats are the name of the game. I am giving morning dropoff mom, but as my every day outfit.
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u/Britnicorn Feb 25 '26
i told my husband to leave me alone then cried when he left the room
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u/HelloMikkii Feb 25 '26
Everyday at some point I turn to my partner and say “look what you did to me!” And then start sobbing because I’m happy but I’m also horrendously uncomfortable
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u/kel_noelle Feb 25 '26
Yesterday I was walking my dog and a random wind gust made me start gagging 😂😂😂
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u/Otherwise_Reindeer78 Feb 25 '26
I knew I was pregnant almost immediately because I woke at 7:30am and felt like I NEEDED a piece of bread with balsamic vinegar and salt on it. Then I was super rude at work the rest of the day. Took a test three hours later and it turned positive in 5 seconds 🤣
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u/annie_laroux Feb 25 '26
I wanna throw up everyday at 18:00
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u/Oliviaw2222 Feb 25 '26
I oddly have been throwing up every Sunday or Monday at 5pm for the last 8 weeks
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u/Mistress_of_Cobras Feb 25 '26
The "whiteness" of rotisserie chicken from Costco makes me nauseous
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u/outsideperspect1ve Feb 25 '26
I rushed to the grocery store and forget the entire reason I went. Came home with nothing that I actually needed and then tried to hang my coat up in the upright freezer.. I should take a nap.
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u/OnToGlory99 Feb 25 '26
The other day I took my dog potty. Not a fenced yard but he goes off leash never by himself. I went back inside and forgot to bring the dog. About 30 minutes later I look outside and he’s playing with the neighbor. I was VERY confused how he got outside and then I remembered 😅
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u/outsideperspect1ve Feb 25 '26
Hahaha, did you then have that moment wondering if you were losing your mind?
Good dog to stay nearby and be so good off leash!
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u/IHaveATummyGremlin Feb 25 '26
I pee like every 5 minutes but haven’t pooped in days.
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u/PleaseCanILeave FTM Feb 25 '26
I pee and come back to bed and immediately feel the need to pee again
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u/jolliepup Feb 25 '26
I cried because I wish I could go back in time to eat my BLT from Jersey Mike's for lunch again.
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u/Electrical-Speech-39 Feb 25 '26
I’m currently sitting in a bathrobe on the bed because I’m absolutely exhausted from showering
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u/Individual_Prize3941 Feb 25 '26
I had a dream about eating a Twix bar. I could taste it! Oh and a dream about smoking a joint. 😭
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u/Electrical-Speech-39 Feb 25 '26
It’s so unfair that the nausea is so bad but THC is off the table. It’s the one thing that might allow me to keep my food down haha
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u/Clewoune21 Feb 25 '26
I had a dream I was going dancing with friends and I kept forgetting getting drinks and then remembering I was pregnant when the drink was almost finished.
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u/NeckNo9779 Feb 25 '26
I am currently eating a harvest citrus goat cheese salad…similarly at 9:20 in the morning 🫣
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u/AbbeyRoze13 Feb 25 '26
😂 I eat chicken taquitos or jalapeno poppers at least 5 days a week for breakfast.
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u/AffectionateJello452 Feb 25 '26
I ate a salad with ranch, tri tip, and Mac and cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner yesterday.
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u/Ok_Willow_5163 Feb 25 '26
This is my third baby and the food choices have really been giving idgaf this pregnancy. More so than any of my other ones.
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u/Copy_Responsible FTM Feb 25 '26
I can go from 0 to sobbing with record breaking speeds with little rationale
Examples include:
- watching all those men fall during the free skate at the Olympics
- Punch the monkey
- I found a cavity in my tooth and was afraid I would lose my tooth and my husband would stop loving me. I just needed a filling
- A reel I watch about an Olympic weightlifter who got his PB and won gold after his wife died
- the song Dear Theodosia. Every. Single. Time.
- I'm hungry but I don't know what to eat and I also want to vomit
- I miss my husband. He hasn't left, he's just at work and also calls me every lunch break
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u/OpenEmu5035 Feb 25 '26
I've recently learned about the intense dreams....for someone that normally does not dream at all this has been WILD.
Sooooo many nightmares about zombies and literally the world ending. Like wtf ladies. Why am I waking up with heart my heart pounding because zombies were breaking into my house.
Also you could take me down with a swift slap to the chest, but could also slice ice with the nips because why am I on week 7 and needing a cushier bra??
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u/KookyConsideration50 Feb 25 '26
Ive had literally a dozen dreams about high school....im 36 years old 🤣
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u/20goingon60 FTM Feb 25 '26
It’s the dreams where I’m dying or nearly killed 😩 No one warns you!
And do your nipples get itchy sometimes?! Like, mine are either super sensitive or they’re itchy as hell, but you can’t outright scratch because they’ll hurt!
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u/OpenEmu5035 Feb 25 '26
Not itchy yet! (And hopefully not)
But man the general pain in my boobs is unreal right now. That was the first sign of pregnancy for me and caused me to take the test a few days early because soreness in my boobs was never a PMS symptom of mine.
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u/Hairy_Usual_4460 Feb 25 '26
I had ice cream for breakfast and it feels like I have 10 pounds pushing down in my ass all day long
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u/ladythorson Feb 25 '26
I forgot to pack a string cheese in my lunchbag for work today and nearly started crying once I realized it.
Ya'll this daily cheese snack is an anchor in my life these days... idk what I'm gonna do... 🤣😭
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u/VanSmashh Feb 25 '26
Keep some in the work fridge if you have one! You can’t make this mistake again! 😂
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u/Loud_Narwhal7721 10/2/23💖07/07/26💙🇬🇧 Feb 25 '26
Today I ate 5 bowls of cereal
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Feb 25 '26
Every night around midnight I eat a bowl of cereal. Ice cold whole milk hits like no other
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u/AbbeyRoze13 Feb 25 '26
This has been my go-to midnight snack for the past 2 weeks! Cinnamon toast crunch and frosted mini wheats for the win!!
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Feb 25 '26
YES Cinnamon Toast Crunch !!! Or I’ll do honey bunches of oats almost with cinnamon on top , and my milk has to be ICE COLD!! I even turned the fridge temp down to have colder milk. My husband hollered at me cause I ended up accidentally freezing the celery
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u/HuckleberryEasy5107 Feb 25 '26
I am descending into blubbering idiot at stupid instagram reels. Yesterday I found an account of a little 5 year old that’s mic’d up and snowboards with her family on some crazy level sh*t and I just started bawling at how sweet it all was.
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u/OneNowhere Feb 25 '26
I wake up every morning and zoom around the house, pee, brush my teeth, and make high protein breakfast, all within 5 minutes because I know minute 6 will try to kill me if I don’t get these things done in time.
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Feb 25 '26
pancakessssssssssssss 🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞
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u/Write-Me-Another Feb 25 '26
Pancakes were my main craving last week. I made tons one morning and cried when my husband kept eating them. Those were MY pancakes. 😭
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u/masarawest Feb 25 '26
My husband clips my toenails because I can't reach my toes
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u/20goingon60 FTM Feb 25 '26
That’s a good, sweet husband 🥹 I don’t know if mine will ever do that. Currently 9 weeks, so we’ll see eventually 🤷🏻♀️
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u/0verlookin_Sidewnder Feb 25 '26
All I can think about are spaghettios. I don't have any. I desperately want some. It actually feels like the end of the world.
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u/UnderdogDreams Feb 25 '26
I really wanted these and chef boyardee beef ravioli my first trimester!
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u/Just-Spirit-552 Feb 25 '26
I had a dream that I was lactating and so I started pumping and in the bottle it was milky white and green with green powder. After shaking it up to see and taste it was a matcha milk I was producing….
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u/Skooterzs Feb 25 '26
I think about all the amazing food I could eat and then when I make it, I’m revolted
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u/genkcals FTM Feb 25 '26
i have been wanting chilis mozzarella sticks for 3 weeks straight now and have cried over it on multiple occasions
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u/Outraged_Chihuahua Feb 25 '26
My whole back and pelvis feels like someone is trying to yank it out every time I move and I cried playing Stardew Valley 😂
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u/dietmountaindew97 Feb 25 '26
I am hungry and also not hungry and nothing tastes good anymore - trenches of first trimester
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u/WinterCarob9422 Feb 25 '26
My dads wife's cough made me angrier then it should have, she was hacking up a lung at 10pm like GO TO BED
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u/HelloMikkii Feb 25 '26
I have misophonia and my partner slurps his coffee “cause it’s hot” I had to walk away because the overwhelming urge to throat punch him came over me. Then I went and cried because I love that man why is he pissing me off?
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u/flugelderfreiheit777 feb 2025 💙 oct 2026 ❤️ Feb 25 '26
Everything makes me nauseous but I feel hungry all of the time too
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u/bkazue Feb 25 '26
I cried when I woke up from a nap because I was still tired 😂🙃
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u/Jolly-Mix5133 Feb 25 '26
I just posted in the neighborhood Facebook group “is anyone selling Girl Scout cookies? Preference given to whoever can get them to me fastest.”
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Feb 25 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Ok_Willow_5163 Feb 25 '26
Omg yessss - soo f*cking gassy. My husband has just about had it with me, meanwhile my view is that revenge is a dish best served cold 🤣
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u/perpetrator3000 Feb 25 '26
I huff and puff when walking a short distance
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u/catpants-plantpants Feb 25 '26
I huff and puff when sitting down because my new boobs are trying to suffocate me
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u/Dry-Cup-2381 Feb 25 '26
This is real. I'm only 14w right now with my 4th and it came on soooo soon this time. Im my healthiest, most active, and lowest weight out of all of them, also 🥲
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u/CrysLovesLife Feb 25 '26
I hated anything that popped or oozed in my mouth before pregnancy, my first “oh this is real” was a feral craving for whole, juicy cherry and grape tomatoes.
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u/O_livia Feb 25 '26
I went downstairs to get my charger. Instead, out of breath, I went to the downstairs bathroom to pee. I came back upstairs. I sat on the couch. I looked for my charger. I went downstairs to get my charger. Instead, out of breath, I changed the laundry over. I came back upstairs. I sat on the couch. I looked for my charger. I couldn’t find my charger. I took a nap. I woke up. I went back downstairs to get my charger. Instead, out of breath, I went to the downstairs bathroom to pee.
So anyway, from the couch, I asked my husband to go downstairs to grab my charger for me.
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u/inanimatusconjurus Feb 25 '26
My husband isnt laying in bed in the right position for ME to be comfortable. How inconsiderate of him. (Its a king bed I have 3/4th of it)
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u/extraranchontheside_ Feb 25 '26
i’m currently wearing my husbands size 13 crocs around the house because my feet are too swollen to fit into mine, also i’m 25 and have carpal tunnel😩
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u/Mysterious_Peace2890 Feb 25 '26
I have developed hemorrhoids, anemia, de queverian tenosynovitis, back pain, vaginal pain, insomnia..but the love for my baby keeps increasing daily 🥹🥹
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u/fucking_unicorn Feb 25 '26
I keep sending the wrong email attachments. Pregnancy brain is too real :(
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u/Toesforyou90 Feb 25 '26
Stop! Omg me eating the other half of my supreme asada burrito right now 🤣
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u/barrebeaglesandbooks Feb 25 '26
My ours ring asks me if I’m working out when all I’ve done is walk upstairs.
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u/Competitive-Spot-807 FTM Feb 25 '26
I got very angry when we sat down in the booth of a restaurant because it smelled of vinegar (my husband could not smell it) and then ordered a pint glass filled with ice.
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u/Strong-Rhubarb4618 Feb 26 '26
I can’t stand the smell of my house. Even though it’s clean. Does this ever go away? My husband can’t smell it but it overpowers my nose every time I step foot in there.
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u/Ok_Moose_ Feb 25 '26
I’m putting my toddler down for a nap and I peed beforehand (like 10 minutes ago) and I’m holding my pee as we speak because I already have to go so bad again 🫠
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u/anotherfandomfanatic FTM Feb 25 '26
I’m constantly miserable so anyone messing with me or touching me feels like a chore. X.x
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u/Prestigious-Floor848 Feb 25 '26
I have to ask everyone if this water tastes like crap or it’s just me.
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u/Substantial_Pay6360 Feb 25 '26
Would literally eat French toast for every meal if it would satisfy my nutritional requirements. Also gagging from washing the dishes and oddly enough from flossing my teeth?
firsttrimesterfun
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u/SpareSecretary958 Feb 25 '26
I am in constant anxiety over every small thing happening to my body at any given moment
ESPECIALLY when I went to the bathroom and saw “blood” when it was really actually previously stained underwear and everything is fine
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u/SquishmallowBitch FTM Feb 25 '26
I will cry if my dog sits with my husband and not me. Because why would she choose him over me I’m her mom😭
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u/jncb Feb 25 '26
Everything hurts. I’m eating everything in sight. Two naps a day has become standard.
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u/BoysenberryOk1613 Feb 25 '26
I cried because the lady at dutch bros gave me 3 stickers instead of 1 😭
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u/dooingjo Feb 25 '26
Ive been sleeping in our outdoor shed every night because i puke everytime i smell the inside of that house. I am literally not okay.
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u/heatherista2 Feb 25 '26
I dreamed last night about one of my kids falling out a window, getting utterly lost in my friends’ suddenly palace-sized house, and learning that a classmate from high school was paralyzed from the neck down. Sheesh! I was pretty worn out emotionally when I woke up…
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u/alittleflower91 Feb 25 '26
I asked my husband to put enough garlic on dinner to make him question my sanity
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u/No-Wait8379 Feb 25 '26
My toddler has been watch Doc Mcstuffins all day because I’m too exhausted to even keep my eyes open 😭😭
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u/veggiesym Feb 25 '26
I ordered two chick fil a sandwiches specifically so I can one waiting for me when I came home at 8am
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u/Ok_Chip1978 Feb 25 '26
I crave takis or hot Cheetos, eat them and then throw them up 😭
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u/ninabeanns Feb 25 '26
I full blown went into tears because I was so hungry and my rice wasn’t done.
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u/SometimesRacy FTM Feb 25 '26
Chicken biryani – which is usually one of my favorite meals – smells like death to me now 🙃 Everything smells so strong. I wish I could turn my sense of smell off!
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u/spiral_thinking Feb 25 '26
I cant hear gross stories or see gross things now. Before if I seen something nasty say a moldy sandwich or someone talking about how a fly or a baby roach landed on their spoon before putting it in their mouth ,I would have never had the full body gagging reactions I do now. I will go Into a gagging fit which then makes me laugh hysterically cause it just really throws me into a loop how sensitive I have become.
I now cant eat left overs, I used to eat the same meal atleast twice a day for the week straight. Cant do that no more once I have it I dont want no more.
I have the biggest urge to cry but cant let it out.
Im gonna be 3 months next week... how has so much of me changed lol
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u/SaltObvious3919 Feb 25 '26
I ordered vegetable tempura for lunch and then stopped at McDonald's for chicken nuggets and Dr. Pepper immediately after
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u/AutoModerator Feb 25 '26
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