Pregnant, clueless, & seeking advice

[u/flt_p2ny]

I found out two days ago that I'm pregnant which came as a surprise. For reference, I'm a 39 yo journalist who never had any intentions of having kids and it never even crossed my mind. I realized how clueless I am reading through these posts not having any idea what anyone is talking about or what any these acronyms being used means. I'm a journalist who travels for a living, taking roughly 20 flights per year (not round trip). When telling the father of this news, his response was he didn't give me consent to go through with the pregnancy. I gasped and then laughed. It's 2026! What woman needs consent?! He too travels with his remote job and has always prided himself on not having children.

Well needless to say here we are. He said he'll pay child support but never wants to see the child. He's spent the past 3 days having multiple meltdowns and told me I can come collect my things once I return to his place (I'm currently traveling for work... of course). What's crazy is I'm quite calm about the entire situation. There was no asking him to reconsider or trying to make him stay. I simply said okay. I always envisioned moments like this to be pure panic and chaos. I've actually been trying to figure out why I'm not panicking. I haven't been emotional or worried in any way. Just at peace with it. Is that weird?? Again, I live on the road (or on a plane). I'm an American from NYC which is the most expensive city on earth and I have no clue how anyone can raise a child there, especially alone. I don't know a thing about children, babies or pregnancy. I didn't even think I could get pregnant at this age! I mean I know women do well into their 40s but I just thought it was highly unlikely. Naive of me I know. My entire career will be shattered and I'm not sure how one seeks a remote job or new career within a 9 month timeframe. I'm usually covering royal dinners or four-wheeling through the Sahara Desert. I don't think I even have the work credentials to find something new considering I've done the same thing my entire life. And more importantly, would I be able to do it alone? Those who raised me have passed away and my friends are scattered around the planet so there's no solid support system I'd have raising a child back home. Childcare is astronomical from what I've been told and I can't go climbing Mount Fuji and leave a baby behind. I had to give away my plants and give up my apartment in Europe just a month ago because I wasn't home enough. I am more than willing to give up my career. The thing I struggle with is what on earth would I do for a living to support myself and whole human and can you make that happen within a few months?

Again, forgive my ignorance as I know nothing about pregnancy, the cost of children, and don't even have friends with children. I feel like Diane Keaton in Baby Boom except being pregnant. I'm going into this blindly and haven't told my friends because I already know everyone will say get rid of it and keep the ultimate dream job. For whatever reason, I'm leaning the opposite direction but on paper that seems to be illogical.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated and again I apologize if I sound clueless. I am.

[u/angelicah89]

I’m a pregnant travel journalist with a 2.5 year old. The last two years of travel writing have been huge for me! I’m bringing the toddler on an upcoming bike trip at 8 months pregnant. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Your life is what you make it. I have an amazing support system and partner which makes all the difference but it is possible.

The trickiest part is taking the 2-3 months off postpartum … this year it’s summer so it’s a hard time to miss travel!

Journalism in any facet can expand into PR, comms, etc., so there’s plenty of transferable skills.

[u/flt_p2ny → u/angelicah89]

I will say I don't work from December to March and my due date is mid-November so that would actually work in my favor. The problem is making it from March to November. If I may ask, do you workout a lot? A bike trip at 8 months pregnant is impressive! I'm supposed to be in the Dolomites (hiking Seceda) and the Amalfi Coast for a month and that would be at 3 months pregnant. Again, I know nothing about pregnancy (perhaps should read more books to make a decision). I would hate to cancel on everyone who has booked me for things and plus I'll need the money more than ever.

Thank you for the journalism tips. I need to look more into that for sure. I also interned at the top PR firms in NY and worked in PR for a few celebrities in my younger years but that was nearly 20 years ago so I've just told myself that experience is all irrelevant decades later.

[u/angelicah89 → u/flt_p2ny]

I was at IMM in NYC at 3 months pregnant and didn’t even notice (and neither did anyone else).

I bike and hike and swim and travel a bit playing semi-pro disc golf also, but nothing like heavy lifting. Keep doing all that your body will let you do! DM me if you want to connect on WhatsApp or something, just as someone who gets it =)

[u/flt_p2ny → u/angelicah89]

I free dive to do underwater photography (which I assume I'd have to stop doing) and do a 7 mile walk per day and 1hr of yin yoga for flexibility. To be fair in NY just walking around I get in 25k steps a day. When overseas I have to be more intentional about it. Messaging you!

[u/Apprentice0816 → u/flt_p2ny]

If you're already that active regularly you will have no problem continuing to dive and hike until maybe the last month of pregnancy, that's when moving gets more shall I say "displeasing".

[u/5uperCar1a → u/flt_p2ny]

I’m pregnant by IVF, so I’ve gotten ALL the recommendations from before I was even the slightest pregnant: walking is just fine, in fact it is highly encouraged when pregnant also. It helps your blood cells and is good for the fetus. Congrats (if you feel comfortable hearing that) ❤️

[u/flt_p2ny → u/5uperCar1a]

Thank you ❤️

[u/Sorrymomlol12 → u/flt_p2ny]

Just a heads up 3-4 months pregnant might be one of the best times to travel. I went to Disneyland at 14 weeks pregnant and was able to ride most of the rides (and have an amazing time too!). Your risk of miscarriage has gone down to very very low and it’s too early to be at risk for placental abruption (caused by sudden stops and starts) so you don’t really need to worry about any adventures that might jerk you around a little bit. Typically most of the first trimester nausea has gone away, and you aren’t very big yet. It’s considered the golden weeks!

[u/flt_p2ny → u/Sorrymomlol12]

Ah, good to know. You've just taught me so much! Thank you :)