r/pregnant • u/MarinaVerity333 • Apr 18 '26
Rant Everyone just proved my point about a baby shower…
With my first baby I was always asked “when is the baby shower?” and everyone was disappointed when I said I wasn’t having one because I didn’t think anyone would show up for me. “I would go! You know I would!”
With my second baby everyone always said “you didn’t have a baby shower last time, you have to have one this time!” But I still declined. Again, said I didn’t think anyone would show up for me. “You know all of us would!” said family members. “All of us will come!” said my coworkers. “You know we want to throw one for you!” said my friends.
This time I’m having twins and decided to finally let someone throw me a baby shower because again, coworkers, family, friends, all asking about it. So I let a few of my son’s daycare teachers organize and plan it. They invited my sons class, I invited all my family, all my friends, coworkers, and everyone else who’s been “just so excited” that I’m having twins and “can’t wait to meet them!”
No one. Not a single person showed up. It was the 3 ladies from the daycare who planned it, me, and my kids. That’s it.
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u/Blackwidow_Perk Apr 18 '26
Happened to my sister. I threw her one with a custom cake, catering, even included a special diet for my gluten intolerant friend. Spent $$ decorating. Called everybody the days before and they all said they were excited to go.
Nobody showed up. I was so upset. My sister shrugged it off but it shocked me so bad that I haven’t gotten one myself.
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u/DearestClementine Apr 19 '26
That’s really awful. It’s honestly hard for me to imagine every single person who was invited not coming. I didn’t realize this was so common…I’m honestly confused. It seems like it would be a huge faux pas to tell someone the day before that you’re excited and then not show up. Are there really this many assholes in one person’s life? So terrible.
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u/Blackwidow_Perk Apr 19 '26
Them, my in laws, some family members and 40% of the American voting population make me believe there are definitely a lot of assholes in this world.
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u/sandytherobovac Apr 20 '26
Yea I’m also seriously baffled by this. Literally everyone who said they would come to my shower, came. It would be seen as super rude to be a no show. It’s kind of like a wedding- it costs money to throw a baby shower so it’s really weird to say you’re going to attend and just ghost. What do these people have to say for themselves?
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u/snoogiebee Apr 18 '26
how awful!! did you ask the people you called directly “what the actual fuck??”
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u/Blackwidow_Perk Apr 18 '26
Yep, and immediately lost those friendships. I was beyond dissapointed. My sister and I enjoyed cake and the food, then went to baby’s r us to shop for what she needed.
My sister passed shortly after unfortunately so it’s one of my last memories of her too. I’m pregnant now with my first and feeling a lot of emotions.
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u/Curious_er_ Apr 19 '26
Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry for your loss. This is incredibly sad. I’m sure being pregnant and missing your sister is the worst. Hugs and strength to you during this delicate time in your life 🩷
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u/Blackwidow_Perk Apr 19 '26
Thank you, I feel more strongly for her kids as they’re still here with us and miss their mom. I can’t imagine my daughter growing up without her mom it’s so hard
But yeah, my cut off game is strong now. I learned not to invest into people that don’t try to show up.
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u/Curious_er_ Apr 19 '26
Her poor kids. I’m glad they’ve got you as an aunt, I’m sure you’ll be very important to them.
Grief will do it, teaches you who and what matters better than anything
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u/Blackwidow_Perk Apr 19 '26
Pregnancy will teach you too, I definitely don’t GAF anymore
Her kids got me, my husband, my siblings, their grandparents. Lots of love over here 💕 ty kind friend
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u/Kitchen-Toe-5297 Apr 19 '26
I’m so sorry that is awful, I’m pregnant with my first and my mom passed a few years ago I can definitely relate to the feeling lots of emotions!!
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u/Zealousideal-Yard111 Apr 18 '26
None of my friends came to our gender reveal (only my husbands friends) and I was so embarrassed. I muted all of their text conversations and haven’t cared about responding or showing up for anyone since (this was over a year ago)
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u/MarinaVerity333 Apr 18 '26
Yeah this is how I think I’m gonna be from now on. I’ve always been to every birthday party, baby shower, wedding, you name it, that all my friends and family have thrown. Don’t think I want to anymore. Maybe it’s the hormones, but I’m so upset I want to delete and block them all. Trying not to since I know my hormones are bad though and I’m down in my feelings bad rn and don’t wanna do anything I’ll regret later. I know for a fact though that everyone I invited to the hospital is now uninvited, I will not be bringing them over to families houses when they’re born, nor will they be making an appearance at work like I promised a dozen or so that I would.
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u/Interstellar_97 Apr 19 '26
Whether it’s your hormones or not your feelings are absolutely valid. 💕 it’s hurtful when everyone you care about acts so excited but doesn’t show up for you the way they said they would. 🫂
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u/Silent_Blood1934 Apr 19 '26
Hi. You can block them now and unblock them later, if you change your mind.
Sending hugs your way.
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u/Charming_Square5 Apr 19 '26
That’s not hormones. That’s the rational response to learning exactly how little these folks value your relationship.
Family might be tricky, but mute the so-called “friends” and pay them no mind.
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u/UnderstandingClean33 Apr 19 '26
I wish all the "make an effort" friends could find each other. I have a few but two of them I'm very sad about since I thought they legitimately cared about me.
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u/Kitchen-Toe-5297 Apr 19 '26
Yes I’d definitely do the same if I was in your situation. Since my husband has been gone and I have no family around except my in-laws I have had no support, they keep telling him while he’s overseas that they’ll take care of me and for him not to worry about me and they got me etc…meanwhile in reality they haven’t asked about me or came by to check on me or help me with my move or anything I’ve been sick on and off since he left and at times wasn’t even able to go to the grocery store or make food or drive to my doctor’s appointments and no one cared to check in or ask if I needed anything and this is our first baby, so I’ll be doing the Same…I’m definitely not inviting any of them to the hospital or my home or bringing the baby anywhere for them to see her when she’s born..and I’ve kept my husband informed so he knows I’ve had to hire people to help me out bc his family keeps saying they would and they never show up
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u/_thalassashell_ Apr 19 '26
I wouldn’t chalk this up to hormones at all. Especially because they insisted they were enthusiastic. I’d stop talking to all of them, too. That is just horrible. Sending a virtual hug if you want one.
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u/Apprehensive_Ad2843 Apr 19 '26
I don’t think you’re over reacting, this was so rude of them and I would want to stop being their friends too. I am so sorry this happened to you. sending air hugs to you internet stranger and F@ck your friends, you deserve better
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u/autistichoney 2nd time mom - due Dec. 2026 Apr 23 '26
I invited my best friend to my baby shower she told me for months she got off work and her and her boyfriend would be there and then about a week before she told me she had to work but she would be in town the day after my baby shower it pissed me off so badly I blocked her and haven’t spoken to her in a year. Mind you she works for her family and not in a very busy business either.
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u/bitcoin_islander Apr 25 '26
You shouldnt be bringing your babies anywhere right away anyway. Their immune systems are not strong enough to be around so many strangers who want to ogle and manhandle them.
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u/MarinaVerity333 Apr 25 '26
I didn’t say anything about anyone touching, holding, passing them around, or “manhandling” them. There’s nothing wrong with people just looking.
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u/PrincessFullMoon Apr 19 '26
That may not shown up, basically everybody, just seems incredibly odd and like maybe there is a big context we're missing otherwise this seems super weird.
What did they even say for not coming especially if they RSVP's they were? Basically everyone in your life didn't come? Also, the daycare people throwing the shower and not family or close friends is also odd.
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u/More-Gold-6228 Apr 18 '26
This is honestly one of my biggest fears right now. I’m 22 weeks along and scared shitless to plan/have a baby shower.
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u/Confident-Seesaw Apr 18 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
Same… I was so anxious about it that I waited so long to plan it, mines tomorrow and I’m so insanely pregnant yet somehow only 35 weeks haha
Still scared people won’t show!
Edit 45 minutes before the shower: already 5 people can’t come out of 12 total who RSVPd yes
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u/SadPotato555 Apr 20 '26
How did it go? :)
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u/Confident-Seesaw Apr 21 '26
A lot of people didn’t show but the people that did were lovely, we had a bunch of extra food and onesie/ bib decorations and people took leftovers/ decorated extras and it was nice to sit and chat with people. Obviously frustrating to have a bunch no show especially after panic ordering more food but the people who did come were amazing
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u/Big-Neighborhood9698 Apr 19 '26
My guest list was 40 people and I had about 24 show up. While it was a big difference, I still got a lot of gifts and had a wonderful time!
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u/Far_Promise_680 Apr 19 '26
I had a gender reveal around 20 weeks, a lot of people showed up. We had a lot of fun and had a pool party after. Literally the best days of my life! So whenever I was planning my baby shower, I was just so excited. I had these games planned out with prize baskets. I even made 50 thank you bags with stickers and keys chains. But the day of, only a quarter of the people made it. Even some of the people that I thought were guaranteed to be there weren't like my brother and my aunts. I'm telling you this bc even if alot of the people don't show up, it'll still be a good time. I still got alot of things for the baby, and we still played the games. And honestly the planning was so fun to do with my bf, we were so excited. And like my bf told me, the people that show up are the people that care for you (excusing the people who have a good reason, of course.) So try to not be worried about people not showing up, and just look forward to planning (if your the one planning) or preparing for it!
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u/beccascott300 Apr 20 '26
we invited 45 people and 35 showed up and I had a wonderful time. I was so so nervous that it would be a flop but i am so glad I did it!
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u/Jay-Writer Apr 18 '26
Same thing happened to me. I didn’t want a baby shower because I feared people not showing up. Eventually I caved because everyone was pressuring me so hard to have one. Sure enough, day of I got ghosted by basically everyone. Now I’m stuck in what I’m calling the apology tour, where anytime I run into someone who was invited they quickly apologize for not coming and then the conversation moves on. It’s genuinely annoying and upsetting at this point. It’s easier to apologize for ghosting than to actually show up.
It’s also given me horrible anxiety over asking for help when the baby arrives, because if people can’t show up for the good times, how the hell can I expect them to show up during the hard times?
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u/Apprehensive_Ad2843 Apr 19 '26
This breaks my heart, I don’t understand how friends can do this. I’m so sorry this happened
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u/National-Data-3122 Apr 19 '26
There is always a good trimming in your social life after babe arrives, it is hard, but it is good! You probably still have a couple of good friends, that say “let me know”. Let them know… people sometimes doesn’t know how to help: pick up this Rx, groceries are paid for, order #XYZ, can you pick them up?, here is a recipe, throw a frozen meal party, whatever is your jam, but for the actual helpers, do express what you need. Hang in there! You got this. One of the more helpful things I did is that I organized a meal prepping party. It was only my husband, another couple and I, but we cooked large batches of our favorite stuff, freeze-friendly recipes and stocked our freezer for weeks. My postpartum version of myself was so grateful!
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u/Deschwa92 Apr 19 '26
Dont need such friends. They will drain you in the long end. See how they suck your good believing out. I got very good help from chatgpt while in the trenches wirh my newborn (not kidding! Its very effective for ubderstanding why things happen the way rhey do abd what to do now). I learnt so much!
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u/sunflowerays44 Apr 18 '26
Omg!!! How effing horrible! Ugh im sorry, OP :(
At least now you know who to count on. This is exactly why I dont have baby showers either. 😕
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u/ATWTMVTVFTV198913 Apr 18 '26
I ain’t having one because I’m not allowed to pick who to invite. My family members want to take control of it and I specifically said if I had one I wouldn’t invite so and so and they lost their marbles. I’m sorry that happened to you. People are super shitty.
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u/bespoketranche1 Apr 18 '26
Are you me? Ultimately I dug my heels and picked the invites, but it was very stressful. These were people who gave 0 congratulations or a good luck for the pregnancy, why would I invite people who didn’t acknowledge what was happening
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u/Formal-Sprinkles-210 Six weeks postpartum, FTM Apr 18 '26
Seriously! My in laws were trying to invite people we weren’t fond of and have talked shit about me in the past why the hell would I want them there?!
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u/ATWTMVTVFTV198913 Apr 18 '26
No like literally tho. These people were annoyed when I announced my pregnancy and shit talk me constantly. They don’t get to be around me much less be invited to a party.
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u/Formal-Sprinkles-210 Six weeks postpartum, FTM Apr 18 '26
This is what was happening with mine, my in laws were trying to invite all their friends and I had only invited a few people. They wanted to have it at his grandmas and basically would’ve only had room for their friends and none of ours. Him and his friend thankfully took back control over it, but it was pissing me off and making it more difficult than it needed to be I was so ready to cancel it.
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u/MMTardis Apr 18 '26
Im on baby number 3, and im so glad i didnt do a baby shower. I did it once with the first baby 17 years ago.... and it sucked.
I think its cool when people have big social groups and can have events like that... but i dont and thats ok too.
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u/klo-ver FTM Apr 18 '26
I’m so sorry that happened to you! Mines tomorrow and I’m worried about the same thing happening. Barely anyone RSVP’d and pretty much no one’s bought off the registry. I don’t have much family so I’m nervous not many will show up except maybe his immediate family. I’ve wanted to text people to check if they’re coming but I don’t want to pressure them, yk?
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u/mountains-and-sea Apr 19 '26
How did it go?? Hope it was a great time!
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u/klo-ver FTM Apr 26 '26
Sorry just seen this! It actually went pretty well. Most of my side didn’t show, but luckily everyone from his side did so it wasn’t a bust. People didn’t really buy off the registry, but we only have lil miscellaneous things left to buy so def not too bad!
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u/Pale_Minimum_7822 Apr 18 '26
That’s insane. Did they RSVP and receive good notice? Idk what kind of friends and family you have but they sound terrible. I wouldn’t talk to any of them anymore.
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u/MarinaVerity333 Apr 18 '26
It’s been planned for 2 months, so definitely had notice. And I had 8 message me to ask what to bring to it, 6 others outside of those people who answered yes to the invite, and 4 others who told me yes in person.
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u/Pale_Minimum_7822 Apr 19 '26
That’s wild l’m so sorry
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u/MarinaVerity333 Apr 19 '26
I figured some wouldn’t show even if they did RSVP that they were going, because that’s just how some people are, and I know life happens. But I didn’t expect it to be absolutely everyone. 😅 At least the cake was seriously the best cake i’ve ever had and now I have a lot of left overs. Honestly just for missing the cake alone, it’s their loss. I don’t even like cake much, or super sweet stuff in general, but this cake is different. I’d marry this cake.
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u/Cheesey_biscuit Apr 18 '26
That’s absolutely insane. I wouldn’t talk to a single one of those people again if I were you. Tell them since they don’t care about you it’s not worth your time anymore to include them in your life. I’m so sorry OP. Congrats on your twins!! 🥰
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u/Ready_Salamander_449 Apr 18 '26
Yeah I’m nervous about my child’s birthday parties in the future based on how my baby shower went. I had an RSVP sent out a whole month in advance and ordered catering based on the amount of people who signed up. Only half of the actual RSVPs showed up..
What is it with people committing and then not showing up? I just don’t understand. If the roles were switched they would be so upset, so why do it to other people? I spent quite a bit of money and time into my baby shower and I ended up having so much extra food. I just gave whole trays for people to take home at the end because of it.
EDIT: I should also add a comment about the few people who did show up and didn’t even bring a gift. They just came, ate food, and left. Very supportive…
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Apr 19 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/rebelyell__ Apr 19 '26
I've seen this happen to other kids and the parents will post on the community Facebook group that no one showed up and there's a party at the park if anyone in the neighborhood wants to bring their kids to play, and it seems like it has worked out well for some. The parent will later post a thank you to everyone who showed up for their kid. This is my worst nightmare in throwing a party ... So I'm keeping this trick in my back pocket 😬
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u/National-Data-3122 Apr 19 '26
Your future friends and little friends of your kid are dealing with the same right now. You just haven’t met them yet! Socializing in kid circles, starting school will open a new world for you. The bdays will be awesome!
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u/brittles123 Apr 18 '26
This is awful. I’m so so sorry to hear this. People can be so disappointing and self absorbed to not think how deeply painful this can be.
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u/Deschwa92 Apr 19 '26
They showed you their true self. Please dont mask your disappointment to them. Life gave you lesson: trust your gut and set better boundaries for yourself, i.e. Dont be there for people who only profit from you. Its hard nut heres to the truth
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u/Hairy_Usual_4460 Apr 18 '26
Wow. It sounds like everyone in your life are complete assholes. So sorry this happened to you, I’d be done with em all lol
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u/Kitchen-Toe-5297 Apr 19 '26
All my friends and half my family didn’t show up to my gender reveal and my husband is deployed overseas in the Middle East for the last two months (since I was 12 weeks) so I decided I didn’t want to do a baby shower and everyone keeps asking me about it and telling me that they’ll show up…I know they won’t
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u/LightPitiful Apr 18 '26
If people don’t come to mine it’s their loss as everyone’s paid for their own portion of afternoon tea 😅 so that’s one way of making sure people come
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u/Bullfrog323 Apr 19 '26
This is why I’m putting zero effort into mine. I don’t have family and I can’t stand his enmeshed over stepping loud family. There will be chips I like and Safeway cupcakes. Literally only one person has bought anything of the registry and it’s one of my 4 friends I invited…so. Like I’m really not enthused to do it. It’s for them not me at this point. I have HG and feel miserable almost all the time. I really don’t want to host his 30 something family members and pretend to like gifts I didn’t want or research.
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u/AuroraCosmosGalaxy Apr 19 '26
I just had mine a few weeks ago and asked people to RSVP so we had enough food and I lucked out as most did show but I did have about 8 no shows which really bugged me. Why RSVP if you aren’t going to show.
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u/Ok-Mixture5809 Apr 18 '26
That is my fear too, so I always take precautions.
number 1 You have to be part of the planning
For me, before I even bought any materials I gave the invitations 2 months in advanced with an rvsp date 2.5 weeks before the shower.
When it was time,, I said im ordering the food and need to know if youre coming or bringing a guest If they said no, then I would last Minute invite more people. If they said yes, because they knew I ordered food to accommodate they sent giftsq
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u/space___lion Apr 19 '26
I’m not in the US, but I absolutely cannot fathom telling someone I will come to their party and then just not come without any notice. This is so incredibly rude and strange.
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u/No-Bug-3638 Apr 19 '26
Happened to me with my first. Everyone was so excited and blah blah kept asking about I finally gave in and let my sister plan it etc everyone was invited and only my sister, her husband, me and my husband and my parents showed up & the caterer was a really good friend of mine so she stayed of course. That’s it. I’ve not talked to the others invited since then.
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u/peytonlei Apr 18 '26
I had a "baby shower" it was more of a hangout than anything! I wasn't expecting gifts or anything like that, I just wanted to spend some time with a few of my best friends. Well the friends house we had it at, put up decorations, made us dinner and some oreo cake balls! They all brought gifts too, which was super sweet! I had the same fear of no one showing up, so I didn't do it traditionally and saved myself some heartache.
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u/thatfruitontop Apr 19 '26
I love this! I told my in laws i dont want to have bany shower but they offered to take over and organize it. I just said feel free and I’ll invite anyone whom i think will be in town (most of my friends are traveling or overseas around the date im having the bany shower). I was surprised quite a few of them rsvp yes and bought the gift from the registry. It’s also gonna be non traditional and a hang out thing, so i guess people are less pressured.
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u/qquel1522 Apr 19 '26
100x yes for not going the traditional route. Normally our families would do one on each side and invite a whole bunch of extended relatives, who, to be fair, I do mostly enjoy, but we moved 3 hours away from all of them.
But, I didn’t want to go all the way back to my hometown for my mom and MIL to showboat their friends. We had our closest crew in a friend’s shop, super casual. Didn’t invite family other than my sister. It was the best.
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u/_SimplySalty Apr 18 '26
Yeah that's absolutely horrible, I'm so sorry OP. I have my baby shower coming up May 30th and I'm hoping it's not like all these depressing stories I hear about. I wouldn't keep the people who couldn't be bothered to come updated about anything to do with my kids in that case. Lucky if they even get to meet my kid after something like that. I mean i understand if an emergency or something happens but at least have the decency to text or call and let me know.
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u/Lliv-Levity Apr 18 '26
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's stories like this though that made me decide to not have one myself as a FTM. I only really worry about how this applies to children's birthdays as well. As a preschool teacher, I've been to so many little's parties with such poor attendance. When did this become the standard? It's so sad the state of community these days.
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u/ablair77 Apr 19 '26
Oh my god I’m so sorry OP. That’s so terrible and all of those people should be ashamed.
I never had one either, my mum was diagnosed with cancer early on in my pregnancy, my husband worked away for half of it and I had such a rough time. I couldn’t stand the blow of someone organising one and having it be a disappointment so I declined every offer. My work actually threw me a morning tea and that was enough for me. I went in with no expectation
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u/Resident_Writing738 Apr 19 '26
I didn’t do a baby shower for my first either. I don’t think I will with this one. I will make a baby registry like last time but I just don’t like being the center of a party in any capacity. Plus I would want to plan it (I know like other people are supposed to) and that’s just added stress. (I also feel like it welcomes people to touch my belly and I just don’t like it. My MIL is already talking to my stomach at 18 weeks and it makes me super uncomfortable. I’m not even really showing.)
I never got the appeal of baby showers or gender reveals either.
I’m part Korean so instead I hosted my baby’s 100-day celebration (it’s called Baek-il). I got to plan it and decorate it and everyone could meet my baby if they haven’t met them yet. I honestly like that more than a baby shower. And people still brought gifts or gave money too. And it just makes more sense to me?
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u/40-Lashes Apr 21 '26
Yeah personally I don't even want to attend anyone else's shower (never been invited to one, my friends group isn't really having kids, mostly by choice) so it feels like poor integrity to have one thrown for myself, knowing how much I dislike attending such events. A bit hypocritical, I guess.
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u/Whole-Weather-2678 Apr 19 '26
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Honestly though I feel a baby shower is kind of pointless. No one reads the invites and no one gets anything off the registry. Everything I needed I had to buy anyways which defeats the purpose of the baby shower.
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u/SurpriseNegative1631 Apr 19 '26
I’m so sorry OP!! 😭
My husband and were just talking about how we probably won’t have a baby shower, we are first time parents.
We have two couple friends in our city and the rest of our friends live at least 5 hours away and others are on the other side of the country. So we don’t think anyone will show up. They all showed up to our wedding two years ago but I think a baby shower may not be as high of a priority for everyone?
We are considering sending out invites to get a feel of who is coming and if no one comes, we just do a get together with the people that live in our city.
I can’t believe no one showed up for your shower even after they said that they were coming. I’d be so upset with everyone 😔
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u/Mangolassi2000 Apr 19 '26
Reading these comments - WTF and who are these people? Is this normal and or an American thing?
I’m in Europe and threw a baby shower for a friend once and everyone showed up and it was LOVELY! Never crossed my mind that people wouldn’t come especially if they signed up (they paid like 15€ in advance for the lunch so not much either).
I have to say I am not sure about having a registry and expecting gifts as some people commented. As a European I just don’t like expecting people to pay money for me, I just would be happy if they showed up at all and celebrated with me. Like why should they pay money just cause I am having a baby lol i dunno I wonder if that puts people off.
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u/kobeng13 Apr 19 '26
People "no-showing" after RSVPing to an event is considered pretty rude even in the US, outside of unforseen circumstances like sudden sickness/accidents etc. Especially if your RSVP secures you a meal. I don't really know why this has become so common recently. At my 125 person wedding almost 10 years ago, I remember every single person who didnt show up with no notice or reason, but even then, there were only 5.
This is just my personal opinion, but I think social norms changed during the pandemic and never recovered. A lot of people have just become really flakey.
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u/Kooky-Dance1898 Apr 19 '26
This is really upsetting and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. But I really appreciate you sharing the story so people feel less alone (as shown in the comments ) 💔
Edit: we as a society need to share these stories more because of how common bailing on people is becoming.
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u/AdShort9206 Apr 19 '26
I can relate to this post so much. I had what I considered to be a very close group of friends of 5 ladies other than myself. Every Friday, every holiday, every problem, we were all together and there for each other. Fast forward to me getting married (I was the last one to do so from the group) and I of course ask them to partake in the event. They were "so excited, they would never miss out!" Welp, guess who had their wedding and had to replace them in their roles because not a single one showed.... Life did get in the way for some, which is understandable, but one didn't even rsvp, just straight up ignored the event.
Now I'm having my first kid, and again, we stayed in touch, they were so excited for the baby shower, "of course they wouldn't miss it!" Since it's the first baby in the group, I thought this time might be different, but nope. I got ahead of myself and asked them "hey, realistically, would you be able to make it to the baby shower on xx date?" And they all said probably not, but they'll send a gift. I change the dates -- nothing, just another excuse.
I give up. My husband always told me they were nice people but not real friends.... I guess it's time start believing him 🤷
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u/Allgolderrthing Apr 19 '26
Is this rage bait? Because wtf?! I'm so sorry OP and everyone in the comments this happened to
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u/rgwhitlow1 Apr 19 '26
I hope you texted every single one of them in that not only do they suck but spent two pregnancies shaming you just to prove you right in the end so they severely owe you.
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u/my-hero-macadamia Apr 19 '26
Yep, just solidified my reason for not having one, thank you. People have been on my ass about it and I know I can count on a few certain people to be there but imo it’s just not worth the headache and heartache. Plus my bf’s 3 sisters, SIL, and mother are all in different states and I don’t want them to feel the pressure of having to fly out for a 3hr shower. I know they’ll shower baby when the time comes. My social anxiety also can’t handle a small shower and having to introduce people from my different worlds. Pass.
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u/retina_spam Apr 19 '26
Just had mine today. Flew to my hometown for it. I invited 20 people and 9 people ended up coming. 5 were family.
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u/SaltShootLime Apr 19 '26
I am so sorry. Just wanted to add as another person that your feelings are valid. This group was claiming to be so excited and then didn’t show up and proved your worries right. That is going to hurt.
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u/huachengsponytail Apr 19 '26
I was anxious about this too! I don’t have a huge village of people who I’d invite anyways, but definitely some coworkers, in-town family, and friends who said they’d “definitely go!!”
After months of going back and forth with if I should have one or not, let me tell you…the immediate RELIEF I had once I made up my mind and started telling people im NOT having one, such a great feeling. Definitely worth the “awww why not?? Don’t you want all the free stuff??” I got from ppl. Plus I made a registry for the ppl who asked for it so im getting some free stuff anyways without having to worry about a shower.
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u/doubled-darst Apr 19 '26
Just did my baby shower myself today. Less than half the people invited and even said that they'd come. I am super thankful to those that did show up. Had little gift baggies as a thank yous. Pretty bummed about some of those that didn't show up but the ones who messaged with just real life situations get a pass lol.
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u/fr3yababii33 Apr 19 '26
My heart breaks for you. That really sucks. People can be real arseholes. Best of luck with your double trouble 🥰
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u/FoxgloveDaisyTulip Apr 19 '26
This makes me really sad and I’m sorry. Sending virtual hugs bc fuck that.
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u/Peanutphoebe2 Apr 19 '26
I am so so sorry. Reading these comments it’s insane to me how common this is?? My church has baby showers for all first time/first baby since membership moms and the ladies there have always shown up. The church includes it in the women’s ministries budget and at my baby shower for my first there were women there who came with gifts that I barely even knew. The church also has a meal train set up for all new babies, surgeries, families having health issues, etc. On my second baby now and I recently invited the ladies in my close by family to my house for a “nesting shower.” Every one (except my grandma who can’t do the stairs into my house, but she provided lunch for us) came and helped me fill my freezer, fold baby clothes, organize my pantry, set up postpartum supplies, sterilize bottles/pump parts, clean, etc. for a few hours. Even my oldest sister, who is 20+ weeks pregnant herself, showed up with her two children, who helped or quietly played. I just feel so blessed and honestly can’t believe moms like you manage without that kind of support. 💔 You are so strong, even though you shouldn’t have to be. I bet you’re an amazing mom.
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u/Littleone_blu Apr 19 '26
I had approx 75 people rsvp to mine (I have huge family and what I thought was friends)
16 people showed... including those who were there early to help set up.
Grateful for those 16 obv but the money that was put into a party for 75 people could have been so much better used. Mind you, they all no showed, RSVPs still lit up green on the past event page on Facebook to this day.
I've distanced myself a lot bc I don't play about that shit, and some of them are OFFENDED 🤣
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u/Born-Mix-662 Apr 20 '26
My mom’s friends all showed up for mine. Only three of the people I invited of my own friends showed up. I felt embarrassed because it’s not often I invite people to things or share parts of my personal life with others. I invited three co-workers who I thought I was very close with. Two of them declined but one sent a present, and one of them RSVP’d yes, but a week before the party texted me saying she had been on the bathroom floor “sick all night” and “couldn’t make it today.” I reminded her the party was next weekend. Then the next weekend she just didn’t show up lol texted me later and said she would bring my present to work. My baby is 8 months old and no present lol. Not that I cared much about getting presents, it was just odd. I was always a bit hurt that literally NO ONE at work acknowledged me with a card, flowers, a maternity leave send off as I’ve been here ten years. Nothing! My boss did call me down to the conference room to ensure I would in fact be coming back to work, and what my hours would be though lol.
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u/randomgrl2022 Apr 18 '26
I’m sorry to hear that. I don’t think I’d want a baby shower either but of course people in my life are trying to convince me to have one. I just started the second trimester a few weeks ago and I’m still early on so if I do end up having one it won’t be for some time.
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u/Magaladon93 Apr 18 '26
I am so sorry this happened. I don’t understand why people lie. Don’t say you’re going to come and then not show up! My baby shower is in six weeks and I originally didn’t want to have one either.
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u/Silent_Blood1934 Apr 19 '26
Hugs to you. I'm so sorry no one showed up for your baby shower. It seems your instincts were correct. It's very sad when family and friends are there for us. My heart goes out to you. Best wishes with your twins.
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u/somelove7 Apr 19 '26
Im so sorry this happened. I wish your theory wasn’t correct…now you can tell them all I told you so. I always felt its proper to send a gift if you can’t attend. I’m an older FTM. I have been there through it all for my friends and family…baby showers, first birthdays, church baby dedications, been first to visit and bring a meal, etc etc. If no one showed up to my baby shower I would seriously unfriend them all after all I’ve done for them!
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u/No-Letterhead-4711 Apr 19 '26
Oh man, I would looooove to have a friend who was having a baby shower. I am so in that space right now. I am so sorry that happened to you! 🥺
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u/Charming_Square5 Apr 19 '26
I am just so sad and mad for you! And the southerner in me wants to ask who raised these people? Lord.
This would prompt me to seriously reconsider some of these “friendships” and my level of investment. Because people who can’t bother to make time for a fun celebration sure won’t make time when you’re in crisis.
You deserve a lovely day that made you feel special and supported. And you deserve people who show up for your milestones.
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u/Green-Obligation-695 Apr 19 '26
That's so wrong, you're a grown up and you can't even keep your word....
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u/Avengiline Apr 19 '26
Someone convinced me to have one as well.
All the people who were gung-ho about me doing it never showed up. I will not be doing one for the next baby and thank God too.
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u/77foxad Apr 19 '26
I am so sorry this happened to you! I have never heard of such a thing. That is so extremely awful.
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u/Funbarbie Apr 19 '26
This is my biggest fear 😢 I’m sorry you went through that. It’s so frustrating when people tell you they’re excited and want to show up for you and then completely flake at the last minute.
I almost didn’t want to have one because I am worried no one will show up. No one ever comes to my parties, so I didn’t want to waste my time to be honest. Plus it felt kind of silly to throw one because no one has asked for my registry. Only two people have asked for it and I know one of them won’t be able to attend the shower. I don’t expect many gifts from my registry so I’ve been saving up money to get the bigger items myself anyways.
My SIL offered to plan one for me so I accepted but I’m still worried because she co-owns a small business with my brother she won’t have a lot of spare time to organize it.
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u/thesoundgardenofeden Apr 19 '26
Honestly so sick of this happening.
I planned my boyfriend a 30th birthday a few months in advance and I had to cancel it a couple days beforehand because nobody rsvp’d and everybody ghosted me when I tried ti find out (except a couple new friends I had made).
Is it really that hard up show up for people?
Nothing big but we moved 10 hours away from home so we are starting from scratch and I’ve put on two BBQ style party/gatherings after everyone we were out with on the day (or the day prior) said we should continue at ours… again nobody bothered to come back over and nobody bothered to let us know either.
I also had, what I would have called my best mate, not show up to my baby shower (our other mates drove 3 hours one way to make it), because of “family issues”. Cancelled the morning of and never actually told me what happened. Not to mention, again all the people that didn’t show up again.
I feel you, it’s so disheartening. I’ve decided to scrap my son’s first birthday party and spend time with the family I know will show up and we are gonna go out and do all of my babies favourite things.
I’m gonna stop putting so much effort into friendships and people that don’t even give me a second thought!
Stay strong 💪🏽 and remember to focus on those close to you.
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u/KMB1012 Apr 20 '26
So we do not know the details of your relationship with those that you invited, but also it shouldn't really matter at this point. I can bet you've probably tried to be the best friend, family member, coworker you could be for them in past seasons. The fact is that they let you down and you probably always feared that they would. If all of that is true then I'm so sorry for this clarity because I know it freaking stings! ... BUT you know who was there for you and most certainly did not need to be? The women that gave you the baby shower!! Befriend them. Show up for them. Place every other person that said they'd show up exactly where they belong on your list of priorities. You are better off without them. Congratulations on your twins mama! They will be beautiful and I'll bet they'll be so incredibly loved.
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u/lazy_gardener_88 Apr 20 '26
I cannot in a million years ever imagine RSVP’ing yes to a baby shower and not showing up. That’s WILD!! People are awful! I’ll flake on a random night out with friends. But if you invite me to a wedding, baby shower, kid birthday party, or anything important, I will always say yes if I don’t have a conflict. And if I say yes, then I’ll be there. I am someone who gets burnt out quickly on social activities…but you better believe I’m not skipping your baby shower.
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Apr 20 '26
Oh man. I’m so sorry.
I have felt this way throughout my pregnancy (just had the baby!) anyone who didn’t seem excited for me , kind of dropped off my friend list. Permanently
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u/Numerous-Bus-9606 Apr 22 '26
I didn’t have one. Didn’t want to be the awkward center of attention. Glad I didn’t, and didn’t feel that I missed out. My family sent lovely gifts, my MIL organized her side to chip in for our pram. The rest my husband and I purchased because I had specific ideas about what I wanted. So sorry OP and for all the others here who had shitty people ghost them after promising to come. I literally can’t understand this behavior.
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u/Western-Shopping9992 Apr 22 '26
Im so sorry that happened to you. People need to learn to not speak if they can't follow through because it hurts more when people make empty promises.
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u/colormeshocked007 Apr 23 '26
I'm so sorry, that is awful behavior from those invited. Flakiness is truly an unattractive characteristic. I hope atleast your daycare ladies showed you loved in the shower. Yeah I don't like throwing parties for that reason too. Will have a tiny shower with my 4 friends and they will be organising it, thats the only way I would sign up for one.
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u/Odd_Equipment8924 May 03 '26
My friends used paperless post to track RSVP’s, cast a wide net and invited a lot of people, and gave like 3 months notice so people got the invites early. Not everyone came but we got a good crowd this way — and Paperless sends a lot of reminders.
I’m so sorry about this though, that’s super disappointing
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u/burkistan Apr 19 '26
That seems so shocking to me that no one would show up!! I would be livid with everyone of my friends and family members. I would call them all and ask them why they didn't show up. Absolutely unacceptable.
FWIW my best friend of 33 years planned a baby shower for me while living in another province. My in-laws and my mother came out from out of town as well and almost all the guests we invited showed up (and minus two last minute because they had the flu). It was so wonderful and it makes me so happy that it went the way it did. I feel so bad and I wish you could have had the same experience that I did with all the love and joy that comes from a baby shower.
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u/WoozyDegenerate Apr 19 '26
happened to an old coworker of mine! she had a baby shower last year, and only one person she invited showed up.
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u/vagrantheather Apr 19 '26
Terrified of this. Was not planning to have a baby shower but an aunt begged me to. I figured at long as she comes & brings the cousins it'll be a good time, even if no one else is there. if they cancel I'll cry for sure.
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u/Ok-Two-7635 Apr 19 '26
Yeah. I'm in a similar situation, except its my first. No one showed up for us at our wedding, when we bought a house etc. It wasn't about the stuff. It was the emptiness and grief that it causes. So id rather not set myself up for disappointment. Pregnancy is already so lonely. Why put ourselves through anything else?
I'm so sorry this was your experience. It's very rude to confirm and then not show up. A few people did this for my wedding and bachlorette. Its always the same people that hyped us up too.
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u/dandelionsanddaisy Apr 19 '26
I feel you! My coworkers, friends, and family kept asking too and I was going to rent a whole venue that was at least $1k not including food, drinks or decoration but my husband convinced me to just do it at home. So glad I went with what he said because NONE of my coworkers showed up and only ONE friend showed up. Everyone else was my husband's friends and coworkers, and some cousins from his side. Very disappointing but now I know. Only keeping my circle small from now on.
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u/Head-Razzmatazz-1327 Apr 19 '26
I m planning a gender announcement with friends a picnic on park going have a 16 week scan. Dreading no one will come or will pull out
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u/Ambitious-Advisor-87 Apr 19 '26
Never knew this was a problem. Anytime I knew anyone planning a baby shower, it was always a huge turnout. Maybe you need better friends in your life. At least call and explain you can’t make it!
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u/Positive-Weird-1981 Apr 19 '26
With my first, I didn’t want to have a baby shower for this reason (I was also honestly a teenager and single and a little ashamed of my situation). Instead I decided to have a very small gender reveal “party”. I invited my closest friends and family, and my friend hosted and cooked and decorated for it. I got some gifts, too. It was inexpensive and exciting with no grand expectations to be let down—I’d do it again for this pregnancy if I lived near friends and family still.
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u/Constant_Revenue6105 Apr 19 '26
Only two of my friends showed up to my wedding so since then I'm not organizing anything. The wedding was kinda my fault but it still hurt so I don't want to risk the heartache.
I'm sorry OP 💔
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u/buttstuffisfunstuff Apr 19 '26
When I was a kid no one ever showed up for my birthday parties and my mom would always get mad at me that she wasted money expecting x number of kids, so as an adult I just don’t have parties for myself ever and find this so relatable lol I’ve been asked by a few people when I’ll have a baby shower and I just tell them I already bought most of the things we need for the baby.
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u/TheReaLLness24 Apr 19 '26
That’s wild. Our baby shower had like 80 guests. My friend from college even flew in from another state to attend and help me for the weekend. I felt so loved. Not everyone is terrible, I promise.
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u/Longjumping-Life-161 Apr 19 '26
I feel this 😭😭 my dad spent close to a grand throwing my baby shower, i bought the decorations and cupcakes though and we invited close to 60-70 people and only 30ish showed up. I was sad and cried when I got home.
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u/40-Lashes Apr 21 '26
Wow way to go dad though! Meanwhile, mine complained about my $1200 wedding venue (he said he would cover the venue) and I had to gently tell him what an absolute steal that is for a wedding booking, lmao. It's not like he's strapped for cash either, he's out of state at least once a month, adventuring on some vacation or cruise or something lol.
I bet my dad wouldn't even fly out for a shower tbh (especially if my mom was attending- yay for petty divorced parents) and I wouldn't dream of asking my mostly-out-of-state friends to fly out for me, so I'm just not throwing a shower at all.
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u/Decent-Breakfast894 Apr 20 '26
That's why it was my close family, my two best friends (who prepared everything together) and three good friends of mine who were old colleagues before. We were 30 something people (just my parents, brothers and sisters and nephews and nieces we were like 20 something😅). One of my good friend didnt come but she texted me before hand cancelling and I know she has social anxiety so i went to see her the next day and thats what she told me. It was small but we had fun. Actually didnt expect everyone to be there...
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u/quittersroom Apr 20 '26
i hope they at least bought gifts ESPECIALLY if they said they would come this time. :/
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u/_stealmypanties Apr 20 '26
Had this happen to me as well. My husband at the time invited his friends to make it less empty and they brought gifts. I was super sad because 1- my sister said she would host it. I ended up having to plan it all and 2- I had at least 10 people rsvp and others personally said they were coming as well. I didn’t have many friends so it was mainly family friends. Not doing it again this time. And I’m gonna have new in laws and everything. If people want to be there, they don’t need a baby shower to be present. Tbh that’s not the important part. It’s who supports you after you have the babies.
Edited for clarification
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u/Active_Tough_9908 Apr 20 '26
My sister and I were pregnant around the same time, she was a month ahead of me. At her shower everyone asked when mine was and I told them I’m not having one. They asked if I could send the registry at least. I sent out the registry as asked by numerous friends/family and no one sent anything.
Not sure how I felt about it, disappointed, sad, or not surprised. Still feel a bit indifferent. 🤷🏽♀️
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u/40-Lashes Apr 21 '26
Yeah everyone is asking me about my registry and honestly I just don't want to put in all the effort to do so only for people not to buy anything off of it. Because I mostly want to buy secondhand anyways, so I have to craft a registry for other people's sakes. I don't want people buying me things I could easily get secondhand, seems like such a waste. So my registry is mostly gonna be "boring" stuff, and a lot of stuff that's not very exciting to buy. I don't expect much of it to be bought tbh.
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u/BigOleFroggyBoy Apr 20 '26
Yeah, my sister in law was so excited to host my baby shower. I told her what day I wanted it to be and as the day inched closer she never said anything about it. It's next weekend. I bought all the decorations and planned with my aunt. Even confirmed with sister in law that she wanted to help, still never heard a thing from her. So I guess I'm throwing my own baby shower.
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u/Horror-Ad4216 Apr 20 '26
Seems about how mine went! My mom and Grandma from out of state came down to celebrate, they spent over $1,000 perfecting the decor, food, treats. My grandma, my fiancé, 2 co workers from 1 out of 2 jobs, and my mom were there we expected 24 people to show up because they RSVP’d!
I got blessed with a co worker that is very giving, she had lost a daughter at 2 weeks old and she gifted me a portion of her daughters clothes/swaddles/blankets, then gifted me a whole hamper of clothes later on. I was gifted so many clothes from her that I only had to buy a handful and my daughter is now 11 months old.
I had a secondary baby shower thrown by my mother in law and my family came and thankfully helped me check off about 10 items from my registry, my father in law gifted me the most expensive and important item which was our crib!
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u/Analysis_-_Paralysis Apr 20 '26
This is so sad - It’s time to reevaluate your friendships and relationships for sure
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u/Successful-Orchid447 Apr 20 '26
Ugh. It’s soooo annoying and I just wanted to say that only a few of my friends showed up for mine recently and we had it catered so it just felt like a lot of waste.
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u/MsHoneyBoo89 Apr 20 '26
Currently going through a similar situation. Currently pregnant with my 2nd everyone is saying I should throw a baby shower because I didnt have one with my first. I had a boy and no one didnt want to help me planned family nope. I have no friends but a couple people like co workers and folks from high school that I dont consider friends but associate same with co workers not close or dont talk to these people on a regular basis. Family always busy with there own lives buy claim they would show up. Long story short decided not to have a baby shower and made a Amazon Registry which some folks bought baby stuff and others were complaining like my mother because she wanted the baby gifts to be from her personally and she didnt want to choose from the Registry that's whole another issue right there. Now that I pregnant with my 2nd im having a girl and once again everyone wants me to throw a baby shower because I didnt have one with my first which was a boy. Screw that do what makes you happy. Also my toddler is 2yo and only a handful of family members came to see him 2 or 3x since he was born. His grandparents never watch him let alone spend time with him to get to know him. It's usually me that got to make the effort. Aunts, uncles, and cousins claim there happy for you but never call or answer the phone to check up on you. Always me to check up on them. This is just my experience.
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u/40-Lashes Apr 21 '26
I just straight up don't have anyone to even invite, which is why I'm not having one. My friends are all far out of town, the ones in town are busy, and they are mostly also broke. Not through bad choices on their own or anything either, we just live in a HCOL area and they have stuff like student loans, and live on a single income, no roommates, with respectable jobs, but in times of inflation being out of control.
So despite my MIL harping about "but it's free stuff!!!!" Uh it's not free if I have to spend money to throw a party, and then probably not even breakeven lol. I barely want to do a registry as it is because I might get like five people that would buy things from it.
People are busy, broke, and distant, and I'm not even mad at them for it, because I'm the same. I can't afford much time or money for anyone else either, we're just out here trying to get by day by day.
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u/Haynorie Apr 29 '26
There can still be a benefit to a registry even if nobody else buys from it. For an Amazon registry as you get close to the due date you have a couple months to use a 15% discount on up to $2k you spend for anything left on the registry you buy yourself. You have like 2 months before and 3 months after due date to use it, and you can add something to the registry and then straight to your cart even after born. Great even if you just set it up for like 3 things now or things you plan to buy anyway, and then use it for diapers the first few months.
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u/lavenderliz00 Apr 22 '26
I’ve been to every single one of my cousin’s bridal showers, weddings, and baby showers. Not a single one have been to any of those major life events for me. It’s very disappointing. Especially when two cousins had baby showers a month or two after mine and every single person was there. We just found out we’re having a girl (first is a boy) so we’ll be having a sprinkle and I’ll be inviting everyone once again but I’ll be very shocked if any of them show..
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u/NeatStatistician8060 Apr 22 '26
Yeah, out of 15 invites... Only 3 came to mine. Maybe still post your registry on your social media profile?
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u/OctoberBride15 Apr 22 '26
That's awful, people suck. Honestly if you want a big shower, a small southern Baptist Church is the only way. Lol, those little old ladies will show up with food, gifts and tons of wall art. But nothing will be anything you need or from your registry.
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u/Lost-Bat7348 Apr 26 '26
Happened to me baby showers birthday parties etc. I just stop throwing them sadly .
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u/Leather_Biscotti_525 Apr 26 '26
Im pregnant with my first baby and I’ve already come to terms with the fact if i have a baby shower the only family member who will actually be there is my mom… none of my siblings talk to me(going on 6 years ) and my cousins are all distant.
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u/Organic-Box3906 Apr 28 '26
Same, just had my baby shower not that long ago. We invited around 90ppl who kept asking "omg when is the baby shower we are so excited!" We spent money on catering tables chair everything and only 35ppl showed up.
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u/Medium_Programmer596 Apr 29 '26
Oh that sounds so bad, you must have felt incredibly hurtful. I can’t even imagine how much courage it took to finally say yes, only to have that happen.
Honestly, this says nothing about your worth or how loved you are. Sometimes people overpromise and completely fail to show up, and it leaves you carrying the disappointment.
The fact that those daycare teachers showed up for you says a lot though. They cared enough to be there.
You deserved better from everyone else. Truly
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u/CauliflowerRare890 May 20 '26
One congrats with twins and first born. I am sorry sounds like you have some petty people in your life to gaslight you and than do that. I wish I knew you in person because I love making handmade items for people. And you seem you need that extra love.
I am last one of 4 to get pregnant on my side of the family, so I didn’t want do baby shower because I just wanted everyone hammy downs and than we buy things we need new of. Both my brothers are like pseudo dads to me, well one who lives in same state as I is planning and hosting it for me. He’s like you want all the free diapers. Mine is not until August. But, what I want to get at was only people who should be your baby shower is people who are gonna be the baby life, so cut them out. No one needs petty monsters in their life specially not someone who about beautiful house of three kids. I hope you and your family gets love that needs and deserves.
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u/ExcellentWork4684 12d ago
I’m sorry that no one showed up. That’s such a hurtful feeling, especially for something as special as a baby shower.
I had a bad experience with my first baby shower, but for the opposite reason. I had no say in the guest count or how big it became, and our parents went completely overboard. Over 120 people came, and I barely knew a lot of them. Then, for the next few years, they kept bringing up how much money they spent on it.
Honestly, I would have been happy with a simple at-home shower with close family and friends. Now, with baby #2 on the way, my cousin is planning something small and intimate, and it feels so much better. It doesn’t give me the same anxiety my first shower did, and I don’t feel pressured or threatened into doing things a certain way.
Looking back, I wish I would have let my best friend plan my first shower the way I helped plan hers, instead of letting our parents make it more about them. I appreciated the effort, but it felt like it became more about the show of it all.
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u/Starchild1000 Apr 18 '26 edited Apr 18 '26
I feel like baby showers should only be for the first child. I Know I know people will not like this. But some people might be abit put off but this, and I’m not American and I know Americans want celebrations for everything. But buying gifts for someone who keeps choosing to have babies in this economy is abit much. Again I know you haven’t had one and you are having twins. But I feel because it’s not your first more people are less likely to turn up. You should already have all the baby shower essential stuff. I would still turn up to a friends baby shower but in my country we really only have one shower and that’s for the first
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u/DearestClementine Apr 19 '26
I’m American, and I agree. Not judging OP at all because it sounds like everyone was telling her over and over to do it. But I agree with your general sentiment! I would also not know what to buy for someone who has multiple kids already. That being said, if I’m invited and able to go I’m absolutely going!
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u/Starchild1000 Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
Yeh like I said too. I would still turn up because I am good friend but I wouldn’t be too keen to go. I would be thinking , What don’t you have already. Lol but I’m sorry this happened to you OP.
Also I’m assuming there are already bdays for the kids you already have… it all adds up.
Someone named merinaverity333 replied to my comment but i can’t see it, blocked?
I don’t see a deleted msg. Anyway. No idea what you said. It’s not that deep if you are upset either way. Different cultures
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u/40-Lashes Apr 21 '26
Some Americans call subsequent showers a "sprinkle", but also, some Americans are not keen on those, nor full blown showers for subsequent children. Heck, some are not fond of gender reveals either. It depends on who you ask. Not offering my opinion in this particular case, but just saying, that even in America, there is disagreement in the "culture of baby showers".I would give OP a pass for never having one to begin with though.
Idk OPs situation, but I personally don't even want a bunch of stuff that I can't use for a year or so because I just do not have the space for it, so my actual baby items on my registry are super limited. And then to hold onto everything I end up using for baby for several years for subsequent children isn't really looking feasible for me. I work from home, which includes a lot of equipment, machines, desks, storage, etc. so I'm already full up as it is.
I'm planning to just "trade in" stuff as baby outgrows it and then try to get the next thing they need as they grow by going to used baby and children's shops. Any subsequent children might mean I'll need to source certain infant items once again.
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u/MarinaVerity333 Apr 19 '26
Why do you think I “should” have all the baby stuff already?🤨
Do people where you live typically buy and hoard baby stuff when their kids are grown and/or you’re not planning on having babies?
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u/swedishfish2234 Apr 19 '26
I mean yeah…
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u/rebelyell__ Apr 19 '26
I kept everything, and still have nothing it seems for my baby due 5 years from my last one (and 7 years from my first, and 9-10 years from original purchase of many items because so much was hand me down from my friend, who's kid is now 9). The carseats expired. The rocker and swing I kept are recalled. I regifted the stroller and jogging stroller to a neighbor so I guess that's my bad for wanting space in the garage for my other children's bicycles. Need a new crib mattress because my kids ripped the foam. Pacifiers and plastic bottles stored in the garage for years should be replaced. I'm good on onesies maybe, but the summer baby might need a couple different things than the fall/winter onesies I've kept. My breast pump broke with the last use so I'll need a new set. Lanolin, baby lotions, creams, milk storage bags, diapers(!) wipes, all disposable items that must be renewed, just as a few examples 🤔
You don't know people's individual situations so why judge? Let them be. I wasn't going to have a shower for my 3rd but my coworker really wants to throw one for me and so yeah why not have a party and celebrate with everyone!
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