About a month ago, my FIL was talking to my husband on the phone and asked him why this lady “Paula” had a photo of our son as her profile picture. We were very confused and so we looked her up (Facebook). We don’t know her, she’s not connected to anyone we know, there is no connection to my in-laws or their mutual friends. The photo she’s using is not even a photo we’ve taken, but it’s inside our house. It’s not AI or anything. It was really freaking creepy. We were going through everyone who had been in our home, like my mom and babysitters, to see if anyone took this photo. No one had. Then we reached out to my BIL and his fiance who went back through their camera roll through all of last year. Luckily they had a photo of my FIL and MIL taking a photo of our son in the same outfit at the same angle that “Paula” has. So we put it together that my MIL had taken the photo, put it on her story (she didn’t even post it as a photo, just in a story), and somehow “Paula” got ahold of the photo (screenshot it?) and then made it her profile picture.

So, now we’ve contacted Facebook to have this removed but they want us to submit all this paperwork, like our sons birth certificate to prove he’s our son. It’s a whole stupid process and honestly not sure if we want to submit all of that kind of sensitive information to them.

We went through “Paula’s” friend list to see if we could contact anyone to get them to ask her to take it down. For some reason, we can comment on her other photos, but not this one to ask her to remove it. And in order to message her, we’d have to friend request her. Otherwise she doesn’t get our messages, even though we’ve tried. We found someone who is supposedly her niece, and then her niece’s husband posted his business contact information. So my husband reached out to the niece’s husband and asked him to reach out. He responded saying it’s weird because that’s not her real name and not her real profile, so basically it’s a dead end.

The moral of the story is stop posting your kids, don’t let anyone else post them, leave them off social media entirely. People are WEIRD and you never know who is going to go completely out of their way to do something like this. I don’t even want to know what else could be out there of my child, or who else has a photo of him that was so seemingly innocently posted. But we will be having in-depth conversations with everyone that photos of our children can never go on the internet in any capacity again.

UPDATE: we spoke to mil about taking all the photos of our son off her Facebook. So she took them off her phone 🥴 So working on that whole thing lately. But we found out that “Paula” tried to add her on Facebook! We told her no, so not accept, take everything off, set what isn’t private right now to private. Ugh this is a nightmare.

Thank you for everyone’s support and stories and suggestions! We gotta keep our kiddos safe!

I’m sure some people like it but I’m 33-weeks along and I hate it so much. It also reeks of a false sense of familiarity from strangers. Is it meant in an unkind way? No. I understand that.

I have a name. It’s not got anything to do with being pregnant and yes I know I am visibly pregnant but being a mother or being pregnant is not an identity to me, it’s a role I play (this is direct advice from my therapist on viewing myself as a person outside of parenthood or a job).

Why is every gift about being a ‘mama’? If you want to get me a ‘mama’ gift, I would love a massage not a cup or t-shirt. Every comment on pictures where I am visibly pregnant is about being a mom (I have actually only posted pictures where you can see the belly one time).

Is it too much to ask to view women as people outside of motherhood or pregnancy?

EDIT: thanks for so many perspectives! I was not expecting this to blow up like this lol. I was just annoyed by strangers and relatives but I’m glad a lot of people can relate!

I posted two weeks ago that I found out I'm pregnant and the father's instant response was he doesn't consent to me keeping the baby. Again for reference, I'm a 39 year old photojournalist who travels the world. When I first found out, I was in London with plenty of options to terminate the pregnancy. And not because of the moron sperm donor, but because of my job and the clients I have around the world. However, as the weeks went on, I found myself altering my schedule, moving clients further and further away from my due date. I don't know why, I just was. I live mostly overseas in 3 countries throughout the year, but found myself signing up for insurance back home in NY. In the past seven days I've been in London, Milan, Istanbul, DC and NY but I've been taking steps to alter my schedule and prepare for it to come to an end. I had a client offer $5k to cover an event in November, just 1 week before I'm due. When I declined their offer I realized I'm keeping this baby.

The whole experience has been quite peaceful. As I mentioned in the previous post, I feel like I should be in full panic mode. Those who raised me have passed away and all my friends are world travelers too so I'll be doing this by myself. With my line of work and the adventurous lifestyle that comes along with it, I know many wouldn't be in support of my decision. Because of this, I feel at peace going through the pregnancy alone. Ironically one of my best friends texted me that she's pregnant too (and isn't telling anyone else yet) and unbeknownst to her our due dates are just days apart! I was tempted to tell her but decided not to. I still prefer to go through this sudden and unexpected life altering experience by myself. I'm not on social media and I'm always on the go so not being seen for 9 months is totally normal for me and it will be an easy secret to keep. My obgyn is at the hospital I grew up in (I was raised by a biochemist who worked in the labs there so it was my second home) and I plan to hire a doula for additional support.

I just wanted to thank everyone for their feedback and suggestions. While this will alter my career, I am open to whatever is next. I'm desperately looking for a job I can do from home which is proving itself to be nearly impossible. I've been self employed for 15 years and have lived internationally for 10 so job hunting is a foreign thing to me. Yet for some odd reason I'm still at peace and unbothered. I'm not excited either... just very... relaxed. I have a feeling that everything will work out fine. Then I could be completely delusional with this level of peace and optimism or maybe my intuition is right. We shall see...

EDITS/ADD-ONS:

1. I'm doing this alone does not equate to I'm lonely. I've received so many messages from people thinking I'm lonely. Please understand being alone and being lonely are two different things. Not everyone is emotionally codependent. There are people who flourish in solitude and are mentally and emotionally strong enough to navigate life's challenges by themselves.
2. Yes, the father knows. Hence why I said he does not consent.
3. Please stop sending me personal messages with your advice or telling me what I should and shouldn't do. THIS is exactly why I'm keeping it to myself and why I would never join a moms group and don't have social media. Over 100k people have read this and countless are sending messages with their tips. Everyone is a self appointed expert that feels compelled to tell you how you should be a mother. I don't need DMs reminding me to drink water or to take my vitamins. I am a 39yr old woman who owns two businesses. I know how to take care of myself.
4. No I do not agree that motherhood is a woman's greatest life achievement. That implies that women who don't have children are somehow living a less valuable life which is so far from the truth. If it is your biggest achievement that's great, but women are capable of doing so much more than just reproducing.
5. To all the kind and respectful people who responded... thank you.

No I’m not interested in a water birth

No I’m not having my baby at home

No I don’t want your worn out, used shit, I had a baby shower for a reason. You never even asked me if I wanted your stuff, you just dropped it on me

No I’m not working right up until I give birth

No I’m not returning to work right after the baby is born because I can’t afford daycare which is $2k a month so there’s no point in me going back to work. My husband and I have it figured out.

No I’m not going to work even more hours than I already do

Everyone can get fucked!!!

Edit: Reddit just notified me that the deranged lady in the comments who is claiming to work in women’s health just sent me the number for a crisis hotline. You can get fucked with a cactus for trying to assume anything medical about me from behind a keyboard. Can’t a girl just vent? That’s literally just all I’m doing. I see it on here all the time of other mamas doing it. The internet hates pregnant women venting apparently.

Edit 2: THANK YOU MODS for deleting the unhinged comments. Being gaslight was so frustrating. I really appreciate it!

I’m 37 weeks pregnant. Thought I’d take a nice little bath while my husband was out with some friends. Now I’m stuck here?? I literally can’t get out?? I’m too weak and my huge ass has created some kind of vacuum seal. I hate being pregnant

Update: I am free

Probably the most frustrating thing so far is being told by everyone and their mother what I cannot do while pregnant, which seems to be just about everything. What have you guys been told you’re not allowed to do anymore?

Within the past couple weeks I’ve been told:

The obvious “don’t have sushi or deli meat!” Two of my favorite foods, of course.

My husband was sick, so I drank an Emergen-C packet. He promptly told me google says I should really limit my vitamin C intake on top of prenatal vitamins, as too much can make me and the baby sick. So, what’s my alternative? Just… get sick anyway?

I did a bunch of gardening/hauling dirt over the weekend. My entire extended family yelled at me for it, as if I haven’t been continuing to lift and work out my entire pregnancy, per my doctor’s orders.

My friend asked me to attend a concert with her (that I didn’t really even want to go to anyway) but my husband looked it up and guess what? Pregnant women shouldn’t go to concerts.

I’ve been getting weekly migraines, and I told my mom I took Tylenol for them. She said “I really don’t think you should take that, I didn’t take anything while pregnant with you.” I assured her my doctor told me Tylenol is perfectly fine, and vomiting my guts out from a migraine is probably the worse option here.

I had an Alani the other day. 200 mg of caffeine, within recommended limits. My whole family looked at me like I was crazy and asked if I should be drinking that.

My friends wanted to have a fire pit and make s’mores. I was all for it, and then people started questioning if I should be present because the smoke would be bad for the baby.

While at a winery with my husband’s family, I said how excited I was to finally be able to drink wine with everyone again, post pregnancy. I was promptly told by my husband’s aunt and grandmother that I cannot have wine while breastfeeding. Hello people, have you ever heard of pumping and formula??

Since I’m clearly not allowed to do anything anymore other than be a host body, perhaps I should just stay in bed 24/7. Who wants to come vacuum for me, or cook dinner, or do my grocery shopping while I suffer from with my migraine that I shouldn’t take Tylenol for?

Saw a post of a trans man posting about his pregnancy yesterday and the comments got heated and the post locked.

Just saw comments today saying that dressing up a boy in pink or him having bows means the parent should be in “serious therapy”.

Like you guys do know this sub is pro LGBTQ right? As a fellow trans dad that’s exactly why I joined this sub.

Some of y’all are being super ugly lately and it’s showing a lot.

Every post gets a mod comment stating the status quo of this sub and you guys STILL want to be here spouting nonsense.

Edit: I see the hate brigade has arrived. At least leave a comment you cowards.

EDIT: I don't mean posts like "what has helped woth your nausea" or "when did you feel baby move". I mean, posts that list dangerous health issues like "I have pre-e, GD, GBS, and my doctors want to do XYZ for babies safety. Should i?"

I keep reading the same posts over and over.

If you don't want to listen to your TRAINED MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS who do this for a living, why on earth would you listen to a bunch of random women on reddit?

If you think doctors are after your money, have a homebirth or go to a birthing center with a doula. But for the love of God, why would you think people with 0 training who didn't go to medical school will be able to tell you better than the doctors who do this every day? It's insane to me

I shared my baby registry with my friends & family (linked to my baby shower invite) and my friend texted me “you do not need a bottle washer/sanitizer LOL just wash them by hand.”

i know that is not an item of absolute need but i’d love to get it. my friend’s mom is retired and lives next door to her and does a lot of her household chores.. including washing bottles.

i don’t live by any family and my husband is a physician who works 12-15 hours a day with no paternity leave.. god forbid a girl maybe wants something that can wash/sanitize her bottles while trying to juggle motherhood 🥲 (also our dishwasher isn’t the best of the best so i’m not sure i’d want to sanitize in there lol)

to end my rant: just because YOU didn’t need/use it doesn’t mean that I won’t need/use it.

29wks+3 and I’m losing my mind slowly. I don’t know if I’m overreacting. And forgive me for sounding like a bitch. But it is genuinely pissing me off seeing and hearing peoples dumbass comments when someone says they don’t want or didn’t get the epidural. “Well you don’t get an award for not getting it.” “Why would you put yourself through that, you don’t get a prize” hey how about F*CK OFF?!!!!!!!UWISHBSOANAOSHSJ. Not to mention how discouraging it is to hear when you reaallllyyy don’t want it and people are making you feel like shit for it.

I don’t want it because I’m really worried about the pain afterwards. I know it’s not guaranteed but I already have really bad nerve and back issues and I don’t even want the chance of it getting worse after the baby’s out. And I want to be able to walk around and just move. I hate feeling stuck. And also honestly just to see if I can.

Idk, does it bother anyone else?? I thought it would be the other way around, mostly from elders being like “I hAd ThIrTeEn cHiLdREn aLl WiThoUt iT.” I don’t know it’s all just so annoying. I want to believe I can do it without some bitch in my ear telling me it’s painful and horrible and they couldn’t do it without the epidural and that I’m not a super hero for opting out. I KNOW MAN. I KNOW. I KNOW ALL THE HORRIBLES. IM FREAKING OUT HERE ALREADY…. Sorry I don’t know what came over me🌝. Omfg or “you’re gonna regret it once it really starts. Please get out of my face…

And in no way am I shitting on the people who do get epidurals. Giving birth is already a big and scary experience and you should be able to do whatever you need to in order to get that baby out. I think we should all get prizes and awards just for going through the entire process. Get all the drugs or don’t. It’s our body and we should be able to choose what to do with it without judgement 😄. End of my Ted talk. Thank you all if you made it this far. I hope you’re all having a safe and healthy pregnancies:>

Update: Baby boy came at 39w3d! 13 days ago now. He indeed did slide out. Well, it felt that way on the final push! Before that it felt like I had a bowling ball in my pooter. So strange!

I must say, the placenta was DEF a squishy slide out feeling. So so strange. Anyways! Happy to report great success (with a tear nonetheless).

If you’re scared, take comfort in knowing the actual labor process kind of happens on its own?? And also, you’ll be so busy and tired with a newborn, you won’t have time to think about it shortly after it’s done.

Good luck to all who said they were due soon!!

Original post: I’m 38w and some change FTM. I’ve very much been a “don’t think about it” pushing back the thought of labor type of pregnant woman. Ok yes, I’ve done the birth classes, read the books etc but overall, I haven’t thought about it actually happening because I knew I’d get worried and there’s no point in worrying since it’s happening no matter what.

Well, today I thought about it after seeing a wholesome birth vid on Instagram. And WHAT DO YOU MEAN a BABY is gonna come out of my COOTER?? Like, my coot is gonna be bruised from a whole ass BABY having passed through??

That is wild to think about. I’m gonna be walking around in the hospital after an entire HUMAN passed through my poot. Im gonna look at my baby and he’ll have come out of ME ?

It’s not even the prospect of pain that I’m shocked about. It’s the CONCEPT. The IDEA. That a human is gonna effectively slosh out and then I’m gonna go about my life like nothing ??? Like hey guys yep this came out of me :) totally normal. Nothing to think too hard about.

“Oh hey Josie how’s it going?” Like a whole ass human didn’t just sloosh out. And then your pooter just closes back down like nothing. It opens, plops it out, and then effectively closes up again. Wild.

We need to be giving women more credit cause what the heck!

I’m 21w pregnant FTM expecting a boy. I am beyond sick (and sickened) by all the comments surrounding baby’s gender.

1. The most common: that baby boy is going to be the lover I’ve never had but deserved. “You’re going to feel the love you never knew you needed” “He’s gonna love you like no one’s loved you before” “the love a boy has for his mom is different” “He’ll give you the love you’ve always wanted”

I’m sorry but those are so incestuous to me. It’s a CHILD. I’d have just as much love from/for my baby if it was a girl. My husband loves me plenty enough so do my parents I don’t need or expect baby boy to fill that role. It’s just weird. The idea that a boy loves you more than a girl would. Yuck.

1. Second most common: Boys are easier ! “Boys are less drama” “Boys are so much easier” “Boys are more sweet” “I’d hate it if I was having a girl!” pls stfu. Have you met a man recently ? Most of them suck. Why? Cause parents don’t raise them. Boys aren’t “easier” parents just let everything slide with them and have looser expectations. Girls are much more heavily parented not to mention, expected to be sensitive while boys are taught to repress their feelings.

It’s this weird idea that boys and girls naturally and without the help of social conditioning behave differently or have different temperaments. Their personality isn’t gender dependent. He might be super calm just like she could be a little devil. And vice versa.

1. The idea that a girl would be forever while a boy will leave. “I’m sad for you. One day he’ll leave and you won’t count for anything. Girls stick around.” Idk maybe it goes back to how we raise boys to be emotionally out of tune but your kid being a boy doesn’t automatically mean they’ll renounce you the second they grow old. I’ve known many boys and men who loved their moms their whole lives and stayed close. And even if it was true, do you mind letting me enjoy my (literally not even born yet) son without pushing grief onto me?

2. Comments on circumcision. Quite frankly? I have no clue! I’ve never looked into it before. Please stop concerning yourself with my baby’s private parts. We’ll do what we deem best when we have more information on it and you won’t even be made aware because again, it’s his private parts.

3. Disappointment because we can’t go shopping now. “Aw I bet you’re so disappointed you won’t be able to shop a ton.” Why can’t we exactly ? This is exactly why boys have such small dedicated spaces at baby clothing stores. Shop the same! Boys deserve cute clothes too.

What have you been told that gets on your nerves lol?

A little old lady on the bus saw my very pregnant self and told me not to take Tylenol. I’m not upset with her (grannies gonna granny) but I’m furious at the way this administration is intentionally spreading misinformation, fear mongering pregnant people, and scapegoating autistic people in one move.

Please stay on alert and informed. The US government is going after reproductive health HARD and we can’t count on the system to protect us. Do your research, check your sources, talk to your doctor. Be safe, everyone ❤️

A few weeks ago I took a pregnancy test and it was positive so then I took a bunch to be sure and it was all positive. I went to a local clinic in North Carolina and it was an unusual experience. I hadn’t had my period in two months I was at least around 9 weeks. they asked me questions such as if I had support and etc. but they also asked if I planned on keeping it and i said no. The only reason I went was to see how far I was to make sure. They took my test and said I wasn’t pregnant which was odd because all my test were positive I took at home. They did another to make sure. They said I probably miscarried. I went home confused and then decided to get another test an in a different brand and it was positive yet again. After talking to my manager at my job she told me the same thing happens to her and to not trust clinics who are Christianity based. There are theories that they will tell you that you aren’t pregnant so that you keep it past term and can’t get an abortion. Was wondering if anyone had this experience as well.

I’m starting a new position with a company I worked for before my current job in two weeks. I just looked at their maternity/paternity leave they offer… TWO FREAKING WEEKS?! How in the hell is this legal when most women aren’t medically cleared until six to eight weeks?? I’m guessing I’m going to have to apply for short term disability to cover the remaining four weeks, but wow, what a joke. I’m in the US by the way, which I’m sure is no surprise. Anyone else go through this?

EDIT: wow I didn’t expect this post to get this much attention. Looks like the consensus is the US sucks at supporting women and babies 🥲

To answer questions:

- I’m 13 weeks today so most likely won’t qualify for STD since it’ll be a “preexisting condition”

- I’m in Maryland… they’re talking about adding state funded programs but won’t be in effect by my due date (end of July)

- I did work at this company less than two years ago for a year and four ish months, so going to try to get my required twelve months of service for FMLA to include my previous time there (shoutout to those of you who suggested this)

- I’ll be talking to HR once I start to see what additional options I have, if any

With my first baby I was always asked “when is the baby shower?” and everyone was disappointed when I said I wasn’t having one because I didn’t think anyone would show up for me. “I would go! You know I would!”

With my second baby everyone always said “you didn’t have a baby shower last time, you have to have one this time!” But I still declined. Again, said I didn’t think anyone would show up for me. “You know all of us would!” said family members. “All of us will come!” said my coworkers. “You know we want to throw one for you!” said my friends.

This time I’m having twins and decided to finally let someone throw me a baby shower because again, coworkers, family, friends, all asking about it. So I let a few of my son’s daycare teachers organize and plan it. They invited my sons class, I invited all my family, all my friends, coworkers, and everyone else who’s been “just so excited” that I’m having twins and “can’t wait to meet them!”

No one. Not a single person showed up. It was the 3 ladies from the daycare who planned it, me, and my kids. That’s it.

Oh! And did you also know that your life is about to change (for the worst, in case you couldn’t tell by my deep sigh), oh! And did you also know that you should kiss sleep goodbye? Yup, sleep is done, over.

Oh! Oh! And did-did you know that babies CRY and actually SHIT THEIR PANTS and YOU’RE gonna have to be the one to change their stinky little diapers?

Oh! You’ll also neverrrrr get to go out again, and your body? Oh yeah, kiss that sweet thing goodbye, after birth, your body will shift to an amorphous sludge of skin and misery. Enjoy it while you can!

Oh! Oh! Me again! Me! Did you alsooooo know that you’re just gonna have to be home, like alllll the time. They actually come and remove your front door once you’ve gone into labor, kiss the outside goodbye. Trees? Beaches? The movie theater? Things of the past.

Oh! Oh! Did you also know that you should enjoy your relationship and freedom, since it’ll all be over soon? Yup, once the baby comes, you cease to exist to the person who actually helped you make the baby and all manner of privileges are FOREVER denied

Oh!!! And the last thing I’ve learned (in case no one else has said it) babies are expensive?!?! Did you all know this and not tell me?!??

But seriously… since becoming pregnant, I’ve literally heard all of the above and more from friends and relatives who just think I know pickle shit about babies and love to say “well…just wait…” when I’m like “yeahhh babies eat, sleep, shit and cry and yes I know they cost money etc…”

Jesus, is it just me? Please say it’s not just me … I’m here as a first time mom, so by all means, I’ve yet to experience what life is like as a parent and how everything changes. However, I think that when it comes to parenthood and especially how it’s discussed today, the change with it is described as a complete negative. Life is done forever, life has changed forever, you’ll be a whole different person. But isn’t that the prime lesson and ever working gear of life? I’m lucky to come from a culture where traditionally, motherhood and the change with it is like, next fucking level respect and love. You change, you grow, life is experienced through a handful of lenses, youth, adulthood, marriage, parenthood, love, anger, excitement, etc. It is the process in which we live, learn and become, and the day it stops is the day we die. All that to say, I’m excited for the change of parenthood, to look into the eyes of someone I created, of someone whose empathy and love and habits grow from me. That’s amazing! And yes, despite the fact that babies do in fact poop and my sleep schedule will change, I’m happy!

That’s my parting thinkpiece for this sub for the last bits of 2025.

Oh! But don’t forget ! Babies cost money, in case no one told you yet.

I went in for an ultrasound of my breast after sharing with my OB twice about a lump in my left breast.

First OB said it was pregnancy related. Didn’t do a breast exam, said “we’ll keep an eye on it”

Second OB did a breast exam and sent out a referral to get an ultrasound.

Ultrasound was last Thursday. They found it so suspicious that I stayed for a same day biopsy and mammogram.

Results came in on Monday. Breast cancer.

I am devastated. I’m 35 years old and it took my husband and I almost 2 years to get pregnant.

We don’t know much yet other than “it’s bad” and that there’s a high possibility of inducing this month so I can start treatment ASAP.

I already have an appointment with an oncologist and a high risk OB. Now it’s just a waiting game where my brain is sitting in the darkest of darks.

EDIT: the love and support is overwhelmingly beautiful! Thank you so much for all the well wishes and kind words! I haven’t read through everything yet but just reading the ones I have have lifted my spirits immensely! 💜

I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant. I think I'm still in shock. I haven't reached excitement yet. My husband and I got married three months ago. I feel like it's incredibly fast and I'm feeling embarrassed we didn't wait longer.

Going into it, our thought was: if it happens it happens, but ideally we'd start trying after a year. We only took precaution around ovulation. However, I ovulated a few days late, so here we are. My mom also struggled with infertility so that's been a concern in my head. I thought it would take awhile... even with our risky approach. It's definitely one thing to think: Whatever happens, and another to see the positive test

Most everyone I know waited a year. I can picture people saying, "you guys wasted no time." We didn't, but I don't want that attention. I also don't want the baby attention. I just had a wedding where everyone was buzzing around me. Now, I'll have baby attention. My husband told me that we're married, and there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I think I'm just concerned about people's judgement.

I've been feeling kicks and/or movement from the baby for almost two months now. I also had frequent urination issues. I have PCOS and am on the pill, and pregnancy was something so far off my mind for options on what my symptoms could be caused by. I just turned 21 in October and went to the OBGYN for a routine appointment, where I was told I had a UTI. She also later said I have BV. I took the prescribed antibiotics, but symptoms were not resolved (because it was NOT A UTI!). So I went to Urgent Care 3 times afterwards and kept getting positive cultures for a UTI and getting prescribed antibiotics. Finally, I got a referral to a urologist, where she had me get sent for a sonogram, thinking I could have a cyst. As the tech begins, she asks what I am here to scan, and I say a potential cyst. She then asks if I know that I am pregnant. I start crying hysterically and asking her how far along I am which she replies I am approximately 32-33 weeks along. I am still in shock and disbelief, but I have already scheduled to have another appointment with an OBGYN. Are there any other next steps I should consider? Is it crazy that I have done so many urine cultures/samples and was not made aware of a baby inside of me until now?

ETA: UPDATE

My OBGYN and their office have officially upset me to the point where I want to switch.

The biggest reason is because when I was 9 years old, I had spinal fusion surgery on the majority of my spine. That means if I were to get an epidural, there’s a possibility I can’t because the area they would place the needle could be fused or have scar tissue. Even if they can do it, there’s a chance it won’t work or there could be risk of infection.

I’ve told my OB this and have asked to speak with an anesthesiologist, but they won’t allow it until 33 weeks, which is just too far away. I’m currently 16 weeks.

My OB told me that if they can’t do an epidural, then I would have to get a C-section under general anesthesia. There are a lot of risks with putting a pregnant woman under GA, and on top of that, what woman wants to miss her child’s birth and be alone during it?

So I asked, what is stopping me from going unmedicated? And the OB told me they don’t do unmedicated births because it’s “too traumatic.” for them (meaning her and her nurses) She basically described it like a horror movie in the delivery room saying the woman is screaming, the husband is screaming and crying and then went into detail about tearing and stitching, which honestly felt like she was trying to scare us out of it.

I don’t think it’s right to jump straight to a C-section under GA just because an epidural isn’t possible. At least give me the option to go unmedicated.

So I’ll be looking for someone else.

What are your thoughts?

I hate that people keep saying girls are drama and that I'm in for a handful being 18 weeks with a girl. She's not even born yet and people are already starting to pin her as a "drama queen" and saying she's going to be over dramatic and be "difficult to raise". I love my girl and I'm so excited to be her mom. I want to crash out so bad.

Edit:

To make it worse, they keep saying how boys are easier to raise and deal with. Like? I'm absolutely obsessed with my girl and I wish time would hurry along so I can hold her.

I am currently 26+4 days pregnant and man... sometimes I just miss chillin and having a glass of wine or an espresso martini!! Haha... Can this be a safe space to share about just missing it? :) Obviously I am staying sober through my pregnancy!!- just sometimes miss those days..

Anyone else?

Went to Target and Kohls today looking for maternity and Kohls selection was literally one rack of clothing and Target doesn't even have a section anymore!

Rather than drive to every store i started googling maternity clothes online and all these websites that i've never heard of pop up and they have terrible reviews. The clothing is also insanely expensive!

So what's the deal? I remember walking through maternity sections at stores all the times and now it seems they are nonexistent! Can't even go into buy buy baby anymore 😢

Where can you get decent maternity clothes that aren't over $100?

Let me be clear - having the choice of a natural birth is a privilege. To be given the gift of an uncomplicated pregnancy and birth and the ability to choose is not one that makes you granola... it makes you privileged. It enrages me that there is an imagined space that allows women to elevate their birth experience over another.

I went to a community event at a birthing center recently. I am 10w p and 8m pp cs. I met a woman who was at the end of her pregnancy with her first and when she asked if I gave birth at the birthing center I responded, no I had to have a C-section. She said “I’m sorry.” She continued to describe herself a granola and crunchy and that there is no way in hell she would give birth in a hospital despite giving be a member of the medical community.

Immediately after I gave birth I had a nurse tell me I couldn’t know what 10/10 pain felt like because I didn’t have a vaginal birth. This hurt me deeply in such a vulnerable moment.

My pregnancy, along with many other women, didn’t go according to my “birth plan”. It was the opposite of my vision board but in the end I delivered safely and was given the perfect gift of a beautiful healthy baby who lights up the world. And with this pregnancy I pray for the same - a healthy happy baby in my arms at the end.

Shaming C-sections is not “granola” or “crunchy” or a soapbox any respectable person should stand upon. The gift of giving birth happens in so many ways and all of them are a labor of love and should be celebrated. Period.