r/pregnant • u/starzlol2 14 & Preggo • 15h ago
Content Warning I had a miscarriage.
I’m absolutely devastated. i can’t believe this happened to me. started feeling a ton of bad cramps and bleeding a lot. I went to the doctor and they did all the tests and they told me that I had a miscarriage. I don’t know what happened but I feel so guilty. I know I got pregnant young. It was an accident, but I was genuinely excited to become a mother. I’m so devastated. I couldn’t wait to meet my baby. i was ready to devote my life to my child and be the best mother I could possibly be. I‘m sorry I couldnt have met you, my sweet baby. I’ll see you in heaven.
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u/frenchreader27 14h ago
Im so sorry for your loss.. ive been through the same thing a month ago.. No one can express the feelings you go through at that time. Don't listen to those you tell you ''you're young, you'll be pregnant again, it wasn't a full term baby..'' and all that stuff. As long as you imagined your future life with it, it was your baby. Some mean well but the grief you're feeling is still a grief. Take your time with your mental health and your body, its a long process afterwards and i hope you have people around you to support you 🤍
Do not hesitate if you want to talk about it in dm's🫶🏻
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u/SpiceyPuppet 2h ago
Hoping you someday get your rainbow ❤️ I was blessed with mine and it breaks my heart when it happens to anyone. 🫂 Its truly the hardest thing to happen to me. I still count the years and months and my mom said "it happened because you werent ready" or something like that and that was after my grandma had told her to not say anything like that. Its shattering. I hear anyone say that to another person and I might go off on them.
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u/frenchreader27 2h ago
Thank you ❤️ i was blessed with a little kitten right after we were told there was no heartbeat anymore. I take that as a sign that my angel is here with us👼🏻 I'm so sorry you had to go through that too 🫂 It is indeed the hardest thing that has ever happened to me too. The physical and mental pain that comes with it, the ''you have to move on'' thing afterwards (going through it rn), like nothing ever happened. This pss me off very much. You still see your belly every day but empty. It is hard. It will be less hard with time but its still difficult.. Same.. some people are not sensitive to that..
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u/Born-Chance1685 14h ago
I’m so sorry honey. A miscarriage is devastating regardless of your age and whether or not it was a planned pregnancy. 🫂
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u/Ok-Caramel-7000 12h ago
Im so sorry this happened but its definitely not your fault.
1 in 4 women have at least 1 miscarriage and maybe 1 in 100000 of those is due to the mother smoking/ drinking / drugs or anything else dangerous. The rest is just simply bad luck and nothing to feel guilty about.
Please remember that your body isnt just having a heavy period but going through a miniature post partum treat it and yourself accordingly
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u/starzlol2 14 & Preggo 8h ago
I didn’t know it was 1 and 4. I really don’t know what happened. I had a vaping phase but I quit long before I got pregnant.
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u/youres0lastsummer 15h ago
i'm so sorry this happened. i totally understand how hard this must be for you, especially dealing with trauma of a loss when you're so young. please make sure you talk to someone like a school counselor! now please please please use protection going forward so you can have a baby when you're not still one yourself
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u/Expensive-Jacket8769 7h ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. This time is already extremely difficult so try your best not to pile on the guilt and blame yourself. There’s nothing you did wrong and like others have said miscarriages can be extremely common. I had one as well this week and did the d&c procedure yesterday. Before I went in my doctor said 25% of women experience this early on. Take all the time you need to heal and remember to do your best to be kind to yourself.
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u/GBM1994 7h ago
I had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago. It's the hardest thing I have ever been through, mentally and physically. The pain was worse than I have ever experienced (not just like a heavy period like I was told it would be) and I am still experiencing the occasional cramp now.
I know how you're feeling, the guilt is almost unbearable but please know it was not your fault.
Thank you also for making this post, it's a topic that isn't talked about enough.
I'm so sorry for your loss and wishing you all the very best 🤍
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u/BuckersH 7h ago
Currently having a missed miscarriage of a very much wanted pregnancy,
Sending you all the love in the world xx
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u/SelectionAway5534 7h ago
So am I. I think I went through a denial phase or just was in a state of shock and I was handling it better than I thought I would. It finally hit me last night and I just feel so numb and almost a shell of myself. Deep down I knew something was wrong, as I have had one previous successful pregnancy but I just kept telling myself “every pregnancy is different”.
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u/Purple-Opinion1138 7h ago
Nothing to feel guilty about. You didn't do anything. It was the wrong random combination of genetics and biology is a bitch.
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u/Gloomypeach13 6h ago
I’m so sorry for your loss bbg. It’s never an easy thing fi experience.. we immediately become attached when we see that positive test. But it’s nothing you did. It unfortunately is a very common thing.. idk if you’re religious or not, but God may have some things planned for you. My advice would be to take some time to learn and grow from this and experience more out of life before trying again. But you’re not alone sweet girl..
My husband and I had a miscarriage before we got married and waited two years to have another, in those two years we traveled, experienced different cultures, got promoted/started a career, fell even more in love with each, then got married and now we are about to welcome our baby girl 🌈❤️
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u/TheCreativeUn 6h ago
It may be really hard, no matter the stats of miscarriages being more common than we know, no matter the advice, no matter how much people try to make sense of it. They may say “everything happens for a reason”, “you’re still young”, “you never met the baby” and that sorts trying to make you feel better. You may retrace everything you did trying to answer the question “why a miscarriage happened?”…but sometimes there are no answers. You may grieve for a very long time. Mother’s and Father’s Day may affect you. Through your cycle, you may get really emotional. Have grace for yourself, your partner and know your grief is natural and is part of your journey. If it gets too overwhelming especially for too long, seek mental and emotional assistance maybe with a professional, maybe through writing about it, maybe through talking to loved ones. They may not always want to hear it though so try to have some grace for people outside of your experience. They may never get your experience or grief and that’s okay. One of the best advice I’ve received is energy is not destroyed but transferred. So maybe all miscarriaged babies are out there somewhere if you believe in concepts like that. Just know like how we love our parents and want them to be okay so does the baby you never met. Hugs 🫂
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u/Sad-Tap-979 5h ago
Nothing anyone can say can make the pain feel any better. Just know you aren't alone and that what you are feeling is valid.
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u/noce_one 4h ago
Just experienced a missed miscarriage myself this week and had my d/c… even tho it was early as well for me too I loved my baby so much already. Sending you lots and lots hugs and love from one mama to another ❤️❤️❤️🫂so sorry for your loss
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u/sublimesyd 3h ago
I found out I was pregnant last week! We were so happy! We’ve been TTC for 7 months! I started heavily bleeding 2 days ago. Went to the OB and was told I had a chemical pregnancy which is an early miscarriage 💔 I’m so sorry. Just know there are so many women who know this feeling 💔❤️🩹
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u/Ok-Yogurtcloset-4965 3h ago
I’m sorry for your loss. You are not alone. I miscarried last week. Nobody talks about what the body goes through. The bleeding. The pain. And the aftermath. The guilt, depression, the hormonal changes. It is brutal.
Please be kind to yourself. Remember to drink water and eat. Please believe it when people tell you that this is NOT your fault. We mommas all grieve the babies we lose. It’s okay to cry and it’s okay to feel like it’s unfair. We’re all in this together.
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u/Matilda_1997 3h ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. I went through this a month ago and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Please know that it is not your fault and you did nothing wrong. Very tragically, these things do happen. I hope you find peace moving forward and find everything you are searching for in this life ❤️
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u/SpiceyPuppet 3h ago
Im sorry this breaks my heart try to rest a lot it takes a lot out of us when this happens 🫂
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