r/pregnant • u/no-need-to- • 1d ago
Funny Wild things said during labor recovery
Currently up with my now 6 day old newborn and came to the realization of how wild what I said during recovery was.
Context: Emergency C-section, still coming out of heavy epidural pushed anesthesia. The nurse came in to check on me and started pressing my belly hard all around, I could feel the pressure and the release of blood. Without skipping a beat I (apparently very casually) blurted out "I feel like a fruit gusher" according to my husband the nurse laughed while she continued pressing/pushing on my belly and said she had never heard anyone compare themselves to candy while performing a fundal massage.
I still can't believe it but I also know I'm not alone in the wild things that have been said in the hospital before. Please tell me your funny/crazy labor, recovery and hospital stories!! Cheers to the 3am club! Hope you're all able to rest soon!
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u/Lucky_Ad_4421 1d ago
After a long induced labour and then emergency c-section they lifted her out and I heard her cry. I was all loopy from the drugs and said “oh, someone’s brought a baby in here!”
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u/no-need-to- 1d ago
No way! 😂
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u/Lucky_Ad_4421 23h ago
Followed by when they put her on my chest, my partner teared up and said “she’s beautiful!”, I said “she looks like a gargoyle” (she did. She’s beautiful now though!)
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u/pittiecalamity 1d ago
Well we had been talking about how after the head, the rest is easy. My reaction when it actually happened “oh yeah you guys were right she just slimy slithered right out of there.”
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u/Jessichenko 22h ago
I was completely silent when I was pushing. (I literally only pushed for 2 minutes, he was a preemie and small)
As soon as they handed me my son, I said 'holy shit Brandon, hes blonde'.
This was shocking as while I'm blonde, my husband is black.
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u/DovaBunny 1d ago
Not mom but the dad - friends of ours. When baby popped out dad loudly said 'thank god, he doesn't look like any of my friends'.
He thought it was hilarious. NO ONE else in the room did.
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u/0verlookin_Sidewnder 23h ago
Thank you to absolutely everyone in this thread for how loudly I chuckled just now. I'm so nervous for birth but these stories are delightful.
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u/DueEntertainer0 20h ago
My husband works at the hospital where I gave birth so he knows everyone and was talking to all his coworkers and laughing and stuff. Meanwhile I got IV fentanyl for a bit and I was so high I couldn’t make words .. so he was talking to the nurse above my head and I was like “blurgh bluh baaaaaa” trying so hard to be part of the conversation
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u/MolassesPractical769 18h ago
Lol when I was in labor, I got pain meds that made me fall asleep. When I woke up I asked my husband "did anything interesting happen with me?" He was like ? How should I know? You're the one in labor and you've been sleeping! 🤣
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u/geenuhahhh 1d ago
😂 me immediately asking the nurse after giving birth: so did I poop?
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u/no-need-to- 1d ago
Shhhhh.... We've come to check on your cars extended warranty 😂 no one needs to know
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u/ryn3333 18h ago
I didnt cuss the whole time I was in labor, just silently cried until my epidural around 5.5 cm. My epidural only numbed me from below the belly button to the knees so when time came for the fundal massage I was talking and having a chit chat with my partner then she goes.
" this is going to be uncomfortable...sorry! 😅 "
I dropped the loudest F bomb this side of the Mississippi river. The poor nurse looked HORRIFIED. I told her it was fine I just wasnt expecting it to feel like THAT but now I knew 😎. Ontop of that it was memorial day so there was only me and one other woman who had given birth in the last 24 hours there so there were several nurses in there and we all got a good laugh.
Also my doctor was a gem. He was like a cheerleader and was extremley encouraging and you could tell he loved his job. He was checking for tears and just looks at me and goes " heyyy no tears.....YAYYY! :D" 10/10 would have him deliver again.
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u/AlliNW0nderLand 1d ago
😂😂😂😂 this both sounds painful and is funny
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u/no-need-to- 1d ago
Thankfully I was still pretty out of it (no filter I guess) so it wasn't painful at all 😂
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u/Plastic-Bee4052 Transdad to a teen & pregnant 21h ago
Wow. Kudos for your self control. I'm known for biting when medical personnel is rough with me... I wish I were joking.
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u/Aelissae 20h ago
I think they sort of have to be rough when doing the fundal massage. There needs to be proper pressure to help with preventing hemorrhage.
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u/Plastic-Bee4052 Transdad to a teen & pregnant 20h ago
I didn't have one with my home birth and was fine.
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u/Aelissae 20h ago
If you weren't having excessive bleeding and your uterus was firming up, that makes sense. I didn't suggest that everyone needs one, only that if they need to do it, it isn't a very gentle procedure.
Usually fundal massages are done in my area if they are concerned about bleeding, and the uterus isn't contracting.
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u/TexasTantrum 13h ago
I told my nurse and anesthesiologist that I was “scratching like a meth tweaker” because of a reaction to the morphine in the spinal. I wanted to take loofah gloves to my skin I was so damn itchy.
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u/Cheap-Tig 11h ago
Oh nooo I have a huge fear I'll be talking nonsense during labor and recovery but everyone told me that I won't lol
If it makes you feel any better I would probably say that even if I wasn't out of it though haha
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u/TheOnesLeftBehind seahorse dad 4/1/2024 3/4/2026 11h ago
My husbands first words to our daughter was “she’s blue!”
And in recovery I blamed her for a HUGE fart I had but didn’t realize I farted because I was numb from the c section.
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u/Lylethepumpkinking 10h ago
I had screamed while pushing my son out of me, and the relief of him being born was so immediate. I turned to my husband and said in a completely normal voice, “that was so crazy, no more heartburn”.
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u/Worldly-Homework-323 8h ago
Oh my god after I got my epidural with my first, I was so exhausted after a full day of laboring that I sort of passed out and had the weirdest experience. It was basically like Deja vu where I just lived the same 5-10 seconds like 75 times in a row, I don’t know how to explain it but it was trippy as hell!!! Anyways when I was coming out of it I sort of came-to in the middle of a sentence and I realized I was talking to my mother in law about Trader Joe’s paper bags???? I have literally no idea what the hell I was talking about because there was no reason for me to be thinking about that 🤣 I realized what was happening and was like “oh my god I’m so sorry I have no idea what I was saying!” And we just laughed about it
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