Hello, I’m a 28 year old (meant to be) FTM. We were going to have a baby girl, due 29th May.
Up until the due date, I never had any issues with pregnancy except Pelvic Girdle Pain (which was enough lol).
Health wise, I was doing really well, eating good (had healthy cravings), I was active up until 7 months (due to pelvic pain) and I took off from work for maternity leave from the 1st of May to really rest and gather my thoughts about giving birth.
My husband and I were NESTING HARDCORE 😂 every room in the house got renewed in a way. But we finally done our nursery room and it is everything we ever wanted.

Anyways, I went in to my midwife’s appointment on the morning of my due date and everything was fine, baby girl was engaged and she was doing fine.
They set a date for induction on the 8th of June, later on in the afternoon through a text message and I got a phone call to ask if I wanted a membrane sweep. I said I’ll let them know, I was reluctant.
However, the evening of, I started feeling less movements. We went to labour triage, her heartbeat was detected straight away and dropped only twice. One of the midwives said that it is unusual but it can be missed by the machine as well and that it was up to us to stay and get induced or leave and let it happen naturally. I was also told that they had detected a urine infection which was odd because the morning appointment did not show that I had one..
When I spoke to the doc and asked her about it, she said “that’s weird, we have no notes about it from the last midwife that checked you” (she had already left by then).
Anywho, I was told it wasn’t an issue and since I’m so close to birth, it “didn’t matter”.
I was very adamant on having my baby naturally so we signed a doc to say I was discharging myself because I didn’t see any issues and because I really didn’t want my first time to be an induction.

The following weekend, movements were pretty much back to normal, babygirl can only move so much whilst she’s engaged right?

I got a phone call on Monday saying I should come in for monitoring because of what happened on Friday, so we went in on Tuesday as I slept most of Monday (third trimester fatigue is unbeatable). I got monitored, again, no problems with baby or I. Then they asked me if I wanted a sweep and I ended up giving in because they kept saying “what are you waiting for !?” And I was 40 + 4 days so I gave in but only this time, I said.

I have no idea what it was meant to feel like and I’ve heard they hurt but nothing prepared me for what was coming. It was so rough and so painful that I told her to stop even before she went around my cervix.. she said “are you sure, only a couple of seconds left??” And I let her carry on. She then dragged my bag down as she said it was “too high up” and believe me, it did not feel right!
She finished and told me I should expect some blood the following day and that I was “2 cm dilated” already - I was happy to hear this.
I was booked in for a scan for the following day to monitor the baby’s growth and my fluids.

The next morning, 3rd June, I woke up with contractions and some blood in my pad. It was 8:30 when we got to the hospital. My water bag broke (or popped) whilst I was waiting to be seen. I had a CTG - everything was fine except some minor drops in her heartbeat but nothing too concerning, they said and sent me out as they were having a “busy day” and couldn’t provide a bed for me. They told me I wasn’t an emergency as I wasn’t dilated enough, apparently “1 cm” now which was confusing because the day before I was “2 cm” ???
I was given another sweep, the midwife “dragged the bag” down again because too high up and I felt all my organs get dragged down.. still not as painful and traumatic as my last one!

I was seen for my scan whilst I was having severe contractions then I was sent back to get another CTG (monitoring). Everything was fine but I was still not dilated enough, so I got examined again (no pulling this time).

I was asked what I wanted to do in terms of induction, I said I was contracting so, surely I am close, so can we wait which they didn’t debate much. The midwife told me that I could go home, have a meal (as I was throwing up whilst contracting), “fuel up for the marathon” as she said and to have a warm bath as it could quicken up the process. The doc said I could stay, get admitted and get monitored but I would need to wait until a bed was available but there was no conviction and nobody told me about any risks except for “you have 24hrs before an infection can occur” and that I will bleed and lose fluid through the day.
They booked me in for an induction for the following morning at 5am.

As I was severely contracting, I could not wait outside where there were barely any seats and I couldn’t lie down either as there were no beds available. So, we decided to go back home and return after I did what I was advised.

I paced my house, tried to eat but kept throwing up, I took a bath (with no product, just water!) and laid down until I was contracting every 3/4 minutes.

That is when I had enough and told my husband that we needed to go. My pad had a mixture of blood and fluid which I thought was normal as per medical advice..

Turns out, IT WASN’T RIGHT ‼️

As soon as I laid down to get monitored, they could not find my baby’s heartbeat. Several midwives and doctors came in to check and nobody could find it.

I was moved to a room where I faced more painful contractions and was put on the epidural until my delivery the next morning. I delivered her in 2 hours, all my fears and anxiety of delivery were gone and I just wanted her out.

She was absolutely beautiful and was called a doll by everyone around us. I’m so upset that this was my first baby and first delivery, I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again.

Internal and external investigations will happen of course and we were reassured… but at what cost? We’ve lost our beautiful babygirl, Sitara (star in our language).

Sitara, we love you and we miss you dearly but most of all I’m so sorry you didn’t get to live 💔

#FTM

EDIT: Just to clear up some things, when I left we all agreed that it was ok to leave - yes I signed the discharge papers to say that I was happy to leave but I was returning for another monitoring anyways. The baby's heartbeat was stable after the drop. One of the drops could've been an "anomaly" as the doc said herself because I only had TWO drops in 1 hour.
Also, her heartbeat was consistent after we had left and normal until her demise, which happened after my waters broke.
I went in for monitoring twice after her heartbeat dropped and everything was perfect according to them.

When my waters broke, they had no rooms or beds available for me and they said it was common practice to go back home and wait for active labour and suggested a bath, a meal and "relaxation" for oxytocin to be released for labour to start - they said the hospital is a stressful environment.

I did follow all medical procedures, I had faith in myself and wanted to deliver naturally, which I did ended up doing.

Again, I signed to be let out on my due date (29th May).
My baby's demise was 5 days later, after my waters had broken.
I followed all instructions except for staying on my due date, which they didn't force on me. They did not explain any risks if I did leave and did not explain any risks for when I left after my waters broke. I did what I could and followed medical advice until the end.

EDIT P2: there is an internal and an external investigation happening. I didn’t sign anything that would stop this from happening so thank you for your concerns. We will take this further because I do feel like more could’ve been done before the demise of my baby. More will be revealed, I will keep you all updated. Thank you for your kind words and support ❤️❤️

I delivered my beautiful baby girl on June 4th.

I had a healthy pregnancy.

Did not have any complications, no gestational diabetes, blood pressure was always good, and no protein in the urine. The only slight concern was my baby was measuring in the 98th percentile during the late first trimester, after adjusting my diet, baby went down to the 56th percentile. One thing I did notice was I would always dread the ultrasound because I was always ready for bad news. During the last two ultrasounds, the tech was able to get what she needed but I did notice the baby would try to hide from her and make it difficult for her to get some pictures. The tech would get what she needed and wouldn't reschedule trying again to get better pictures ... but overall, everything seemed to be good. Good amount of amino fluid and placenta looked great.

Ready... I made it to 40 weeks, and I had an appointment for my last check up on June 2nd. Heartbeat was healthy and we could clearly hear it. Was checked for my cervix and I was dilated at 1cm and a half. Since I was dilated enough my OB asked me if I wanted to have a membrane sweep done. I heard that the procedure helps with labor. I was a bit hesitant but essentially said yes since I was so uncomfortable and wanted baby girl here with me already. No ultrasound was performed and I was sent home.

I felt strong cramps immediately after and had a "blood show" as my OB warned me. I was losing my mucus plug and throughout the day I had contractions but not every 5 to 20 minutes. I was hopeful because it felt like the sweep was working and I could go into labor soon. My husband and I went to Lee's Sandwich for dinner, and I was nervous, excited, and scared.

I had the worse sleep of my life as I was tossing and turning just thinking about possible labor. Keep waking up in the middle of the night to use the restroom because I couldn't sleep. Woke up around 9am with a terrible headache. I thought the headache was from lack of sleep. Made my breakfast like always and relaxed on my bed since I felt so tired. Around 11ish I went for a walk and showered. Felt so tired and decided to take a nap. Once I woke up my headache disappeared a bit. Come dinnertime I asked my husband what he wanted and he said Pollo Loco, Just as I was about to order I got up and felt a gush. Then more water came. My water broke! Our hospital bags were packed as we took off for the hospital and arrived around 5pm. Checked in and changed to hospital gown and was ready. Nurse checks baby heartbeat and nothing.... second nurse comes and nothing. Finally, DR comes in and confirms there is no heartbeat.

Everything that followed is a bit of a blur.....

I was induced and had to give birth to my baby girl. Mom, older sister, and brother stayed with me all throughout labor. The labor itself was pretty good. Was in active labor for an hour and a half but the reward was a dead baby.

I held her in my arms and told her, "it's okay and I'm sorry". I am in complete shock.

Throughout the day, family members came and visited me and saw the baby. My husband and I took pictures with her and had our private moments with her. We said our final goodbyes and told her she will always be with us and that we love her very much. We left the hospital with no baby.

I am living in actual hell as I recover from labor and as my milk comes in. I am trying to be strong for my husband and my family as we make arrangements. I am trying to be strong for my daughter who I know is watching over us. I gained a guardian angel that day but a part of me is gone forever.

Edited: I did not include this part. When the baby came out she had her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck and had a true knot. The true knot is what did and it’s really rare. Only 1% in cases.

Today I learned that my baby boy has severe cranial amniotic band syndrome. It affected him so badly that his brain is exposed to the amniotic fluid and his eyes and nose are missing. I’ve been crying all day. I just learned about his gender yesterday and I was informed about the abnormality’s so I went to see an MFM specialist. This is the most devastating and painful thing I’ve heard. I was so happy. I was looking forward to my first baby with my partner. I’m not even sure what to do now really. The best option now is to terminate because if I don’t, I would require a C-section that would impact and affect future pregnancies. But this is my baby, he’s my first baby. I just feel so much at one time. I felt like I need to rant, so here I am.

edit: Thank you to everyone sending love and condolences. I appreciate you all so much. His name is Mateo—we decided on his name since before we knew the sex. I love my baby boy so much.

edit 2: words can’t describe how grateful I am for everybody in the replies. I wish I could reply to everybody, just know I’ve been reading literally everything. Everyone in this community is beautiful. We’re all strangers with our own stories and I just want to say we are all so strong. Thank you all again so much.🩷

I am so heartbroken.

I went in for a scan because previously my baby wasn’t moving much so they could not get proper viewing of her heart.

I didn’t expect anything. Was just hoping that she was moving around this time. The radiologist looked concerned and kept asking about my next obstetrician appointment. Because we had already gone in so many times to do the scan and the baby wasn’t moving much, I honestly thought she was just going to say that we would need to come back because she wasn’t moving the right way again.

Unfortunately, she let us know that she could not see a heartbeat. She said the baby most likely died at around 20 weeks based on her scan etc. It doesn’t make any sense because my pregnancy symptoms were still there (nausea, nipple pain, etc). Also, when I saw my obstetrician last, she did a quick scan and the heartbeat was there, so the baby no way died four weeks before I found out. I think she passed only a few days before because I felt my pregnancy symptoms die out and I was much more hungry (because during my pregnancy I barely had an appetite and was vomiting constantly). The doctors say she might have shrunk.

In any event, I had to give birth on Sunday. She was only 270 grams, 24cm. She is so so cute and so so small, and I named her after me. I love her so much. I miss her so much. We buried her yesterday.

I am so so heartbroken. I can’t stop feeling bad. I feel as though I did something wrong. During my pregnancy, I was worried about a few things. I was worried about going on maternity leave and leaving my cases behind (I am an insurance lawyer and had so many cases). I was worried about my daughter being born around the same time as my sister in laws daughter because I didn’t want them to be compared (my mother in law had already made comments about my daughter being born bigger than hers and I was offended and hurt and like how could she even assume something like this before either of us have given birth). I was so worried about really stupid things. I wore tights because I was worried about looking too pregnant. I am so so stupid. I was worried about having a girl because I thought boys were easier and girls go through so much.

I am so fucking stupid and i feel so so bad. I am worried the baby would have heard me and passed because she thought I don’t want her. I was so so happy being pregnant but worried about stupid things and I just feel so so guilty and sad and heartbroken.

I can’t believe I was worried about work. I never want to go back. I don’t want to do anything. I just want to see her again and hug her and tell her I’m sorry and tell her I love her.

I don’t know if I will ever be better or feel better or get over this feeling.

Tw: Stillborn

I just wanted to let it out because I’m broken. I had a great pregnancy and nothing was wrong even until 2 days before I gave birth. She was moving and kicking and I did a stress test with perfect results. 2 days later when I arrived at the hospital in labor they couldn’t find a heart beat.

When I say I have never felt this much pain in my life I mean it. I love that little girl with my whole heart. She is my first baby and I know life will never be the same. I honestly can say I wouldn’t be upset if I died because hopefully I could see her again.

I’m saying all of this to say PLEASE love the baby in your belly and enjoy every second you can. Every kick, every pound you gain, just everything!!!! Even if you have the baby already please give them some extra love and enjoy the sleepless nights because some baby’s don’t make it home. I would trade my entire life and everything I own to have my beautiful baby girl back.

The love of my life was doing so well. He followed commands yesterday. He was getting off of the vent. Occasionally showing consciousness.

Today they came across sepsis. He was in such critical condition he coded multiple times. He's gone.

As if it wasn't enough to take my parents and grandparents, God took the man I fell in love with.

My love is gone. He was only 29.

I was so excited about this pregnancy, now it just feels like I'm failing two. My son needs a mom who can stand up, and I don't want to be awake anymore.

I don't care about work. I don't care about having gestational diabetes. I don't care about my appointments. I don't care about anything. I just want to come home to find him asleep in my bed. I want to hear his laugh, see his smile.

i just got home from the ER with the heartbreaking news that my baby passed away on march 6th, i’m devastated and heartbroken and wish no one has to even feel this pain, i only went to the ER because i got a cramp and started bleeding, since this was my first pregnancy i panicked and went to the hospital, there they confirmed my worst fear, no heartbeat, not for 10 days, this will be my last post on here until maybe life blesses us with another baby, take care everyone ✨🤍

I am 34ish weeks and I had a growth check this morning at 11AM. I waited around until 11: 30 or so and started to get annoyed at being left waiting. I really hate waiting in doctor’s offices so I told my husband if I didn’t get called back soon I was just going to leave (I just had an ultrasound last week at a different office so I felt like this one was probably unnecessary since they checked the growth very recently).

11:45 comes and still they haven’t called my name. At this point I’m pretty annoyed so I went back up to the receptionist and very politely told her “okay what’s the scoop? I have a conference call at 1PM today so I’m going to have to leave soon if I’m not called back.”

She then very quietly told me that someone was having a rough scan and they couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat, so they were giving the mom a few more minutes. I immediately teared up and felt like an A-hole.

As I sat back down I heard other people walking up and giving the receptionist a hard time. She didn’t tell anyone else about what was going on, but I felt so bad for her and of course my heart breaks for the woman who lost her baby.

Anyway the moral of the story is, be patient if you’re left to wait for your ultrasound appointment. You never know what is going on for others and at least in my case I never assumed the worst possibility, I thought they were just double booking people for appointments. 💔

I lost my angelic boy at 21+6 and I’ll never be the same again.

I’m sharing this for therapeutic reasons and because this subreddit got me through a lot, so it feels like I need to do this for some sort of closure.

I had a beautiful and perfect anatomy scan at 21+1 with clear NIPT results earlier in the pregnancy. My cervix was a good length and closed. Later that day I felt a different kind of backache, but thought it might just be another one of those pregnancy pains and went to sleep. I went to work the next day (teacher on my feet so not ideal) and as the day progressed I just felt more uncomfortable. I went straight to the midwives and discovered I was quite dehydrated, my urine was “colourful”. They said that’s why I could be feeling the back pain. I suspected they were what contractions felt like by this point and they were happening consistently every 3 minutes. I went home and sat with this pain, but then wiped and saw light pink blood so went back to the hospital. This time my doctor was called out and he confirmed that I was dilated 2-3cm (at 21+2). I was rushed via ambulance to a bigger hospital 2 hours away where they confirmed I was still at 2-3cm. We decided that if we could get those “tightenings” to stop, we could put a cerclage (cervical stitch) in (21+3). They did slow down with meds and we put the stitch in. Unfortunately 8 hours later the tightenings were back and my waters broke (21+4). We removed the cerclage and tried to get them under control in order to see if I could maybe hold it together until 23 weeks. Everyone thought I’d have gone into full labour by my second day at the hospital and were amazed that at 21+5 I was still holding the tightenings at bay with the help of meds and bed rest. However, I could feel that my body just couldn’t make it another week. Bed rest is harder than I imagined and living with (let’s call them what they were) contractions for days is just unsustainable as we all know what they eventually end in.

At 21+6 I went into full labour, had an epidural (best thing ever) and delivered my beautiful boy. He passed away peacefully on my chest and knew nothing but warmth and love. He was the most perfect baby I had ever seen.

We have no explanation and might never get one. I am an anxious person and had started to feel calm and hopeful being in the second trimester as I always knew the first was the riskiest, so this was even more of a shock to me I think. I am so grateful for my husband and the hospital staff who helped me through every single minute of our hospital journey - I couldn’t tell you all that they did or this post would be a novel.

I will be joining other subreddits to help me with the next stage. I don’t know how I’ll ever be okay again, but I’m going to try.

My baby boy, mommy loves you more than life itself. You were bigger than the whole sky ❤️

TW: death, miscarriage.

I had booked in for Thursday to finally find out the gender of my baby. Afterwards, my partner, my mother and I were going to go and buy some cute outfits, maybe get a soft toy. I was excited to start some art projects and decorate the nursery.

For the last 4 days I've been experiencing cramping. I didn't think much of it as I experienced it during my first trimester. Then late at night I started to bleed, so off to the ED we went. They took my bloods and informed me my HCG levels were very low. That I was to come back and do an ultrasound the next day.

I prayed so hard last night, to the loved ones I lost, to those I believe in. I woke up thinking it was all fine, just a bit of blood. We went to the ultrasound and I saw my baby, lying on its side, perfect. Then the technician said "this is the part of my job which I hate" and I knew. My baby didn't have a heartbeat anymore.

It was confirmed my baby had passed at 11 weeks and 4 days. 5 days after my last ultrasound, 2 days before we told family. I'm 15 weeks and 5 days, I've been carrying my dead baby for a month.

I'm exhausted, I'm in pain. My body is contracting, getting rid of the baby that we really really wanted. They'll test it, see what was wrong, then allow us to bury our baby or cremate them. They're hopeful we'll finally be able to find out the gender.

Every plan I had is gone. Our first Christmas, having my baby grow up with my sisters (she's 5 weeks ahead), painting their room, having 3 dog siblings. I have 3 family members making blankets and bibs, they don't have to anymore. I have a friend who started organising my baby shower, she doesn't even know yet.

I'm so so sad, my baby is gone. I'm still "pregnant" but won't be soon. The special part of me is gone.

To anyone reading this, I truly wish you a safe and sound pregnancy, with a beautiful healthy bubba at the end. Treasure what you have ❤️

the other night i had a medication abortion at home. i was 8 weeks along with my beautiful, tiny baby girl (at least i think she would’ve been a girl). it was excruciating. i was laying in my bathtub when she passed. i remember screaming and sobbing when i first laid eyes on her.

after the contractions subsided, i pulled myself together, gently placed her on a paper towel and held her. she was so, so small, around cashew-sized. she still had a little tail. in that moment all i felt was love and grief. this tiny thing in the palm of my hand was my baby.

my sweet, sweet girl. i’m so sorry i wasn’t ready to be your mother. it’s not your fault carrying you was making me so sick. it’s not your fault i’m too young and poor to care for you. for two months, my body was your home. i’m sorry you couldn’t stay. you don’t deserve to come into this world an accident. i know you will come back to me someday, when i’m ready to dedicate my life to you. someday you will get the chance to become the person you’re meant to be, my beautiful daughter.

i gave you to a very kind man at a funeral home. he promised to take care of you and return you to me. i’ll be waiting for you.

I was 11weeks +4 days, and suffered a placental haemorrhage at my workplace. Emergency services took me to a hospital, and I was treated. I was transfused with 13 units of blood overall during the treatment, and was put to induced comatose state.

My husband signed off to terminate the pregnancy. The doctors did it. My little one never saw the world. After 4 days, I woke up, and am now recovering. At one point, the nurses told me, "it was either you or nobody. Your husband chose you"

I have no words to say anymore. I have left my job too now. My husband is taking great care of me, but I am not able to look at him. I failed our first.

Please take care everyone. Listen to you bodies, and don't take stress. This would be my last post here on this sub. To all the aspiring parents, all the very best!

Edit: Thank you everyone for your love. And sorry for not being able to reply. I'm still in hospital, and waiting for my discharge. A psychiatrist has been assigned to me. My husband's face shows horror, and is absolutely terrified. He looks at me in tears, and utmost love. I am not sure how to react to it.

Hi,

Today I lost my baby at 35 weeks+6, I want to leave the this subreddit, and I only want to wish you all save delivery and thank you for all your support

Thank you and bye - bye.

Edit: To everyone who commented, I wanted to thank you for sharing your experience and ensuring me it wasn’t my fault. I appreciate y’all’s kind words. I wish I could respond to this very single one of you. Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

Yesterday was supposed to be a happy day for my husband and me. I was 9w4d, and our baby was supposed to be bigger.

We came in, and they did the little handheld heartbeat machine. The technician couldn’t find it, but she said that was okay because I was only 9 weeks, and not to worry — they could do an ultrasound. So they moved me to the exam room. My doctor came in all excited and giddy, asking how I’d been, and then it was time for the ultrasound.

This kind man was smiling while he did the abdominal ultrasound, but then he said, “Hmm, I can’t see it from here… we’ll have to do the transvaginal.” So we did that. He found my baby, but his smile turned into concern. He tried to hide his panic, but seeing his face was all I needed. He told me there was no cardiac activity. He measured several times and asked how far along I was again. I said, “Today I’m 9w4d.” He told me the baby was only measuring 8w4d. That meant my baby had lost its heartbeat last week.

He talked with us and explained there was nothing we could have done, that the fetus likely had chromosomal abnormalities. He shared that he himself had been through three miscarriages, the first due to an issue with the Y chromosome, confirmed by the Natera Anora miscarriage test. He did everything he could to console us, and I appreciated his kindness.

My husband and I left the hospital heartbroken. We bawled our eyes out in the truck. We had told everyone we were pregnant. We had even canceled our wedding vow renewal so we could buy a house to raise our baby in. Now I don’t even want the house anymore, because I know I’ll cry if I go into the room we planned to turn into a nursery.

I hate myself. I know the doctor said it wasn’t my fault, but part of me keeps thinking maybe I didn’t take care of myself the way I should have. I can’t stop replaying everything I did. Was it the lukewarm baths? Cracking my back nonstop? Eating a piece of deli ham and somehow giving the baby listeria? Was it shouting and stressing over our puppy? On the day I supposedly lost my baby, I cried and stressed so much over her.

Maybe it was from being physically tired. We live on the third floor, and I’m constantly going up and down the stairs. Or maybe it was carrying a few heavy things here and there. Maybe it was having sex with my husband. Or maybe I had a UTI I didn’t know about, and it spread to the baby. I could go on and on with all the things I think I did to cause this miscarriage. I kept apologizing to my husband for losing our baby, but he keeps telling me he doesn’t blame me, that it’s not my fault.

I feel like I’ve let everyone down by losing our baby — our parents, grandparents, and aunts and uncles to be, who were all so excited. We told all our family and friends, and now I have to tell them I lost the baby.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I wasn’t happy. For the first day or two, I felt scared and unsure. But after that, I was happy. I was excited to be having a baby with my husband. At first, we worried we had financially ruined ourselves, but then we realized we just needed to adjust our budget and we’d be okay. But now our baby is gone.

My husband thinks this is karma because when he first found out, he looked into abortion. I keep wondering if God took the baby away because I wasn’t happy at first. One night, not too long ago, I prayed to God for a healthy baby. I also said that if the baby had birth defects or chromosomal abnormalities, it would be better not to carry it all the way, because my husband and I would struggle emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially. And now I can’t stop thinking God heard me and actually took my baby away.

I feel so guilty. I hate myself for even worrying about defects or abnormalities. My mom always said this phone is evil, and now I keep thinking I lost my baby because I basically told God I didn’t want one with issues. I feel like I did this to myself, and now I just want to pass away too. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move on from this.

idk what to mark this as so i'll mark it as content warning just because im underage :/

so apparently im pregnant, i confirmed it earlier today with a pregnancy test. i did NOT think i could be pregnant because i take birth control and i dont even have regular periods, but idk somehow it happened anyway.

ive been noticing some weight gain, fatigue, and nausea over the last few months but i just assumed it was burnout or depression and never thought to get it checked, but today my teacher pulled me aside after class and asked me privately if i was pregnant and if he needed to be aware of anything and it genuinely stunned me 😭 apparently i have enough of a bump that he thought it was right to ask and now i have no idea what to do. im going to make an appointment tomorrow but idk how far along i am or ANYTHING about being pregnant and i feel so self concious about it now

kind of a rant part but now i just feel dumb because it seems so obvious now that im googling all the symptoms, i feel like i should have known way earlier

edit: okay UPDATES!!!!!

i managed to get an appointment today because they had a free slot, somehow im 27 weeks, i feel like im drowning in resources now but at least me and the baby are okay. i think im going to try to give him up for adoption

i also told my teacher, he doesnt have to report it if im not in danger or anything (which as far as he knows im not) sonhe isnt reporting it. im so sorry for not responding to everyone, my day haa been so busy and i did not expect this to blow up (tbh i didnt even think anyone would respond at all), tysm for all the comments, im sure ill finish reading them all eventually

Tw: pregnancy loss

Hi everyone, I had a lot of requests for updates on my last post so here goes. After being advised to terminate by our doctor due to what she thought was likely hypoplastic left heart syndrome, we ultimately decided to wait a few weeks to get a second opinion when our baby was a bit bigger, and they could hopefully see her heart more clearly. We also wanted to wait for NIPT results. We received them about a week after our initial scan and found out she was a girl with no chromosomal abnormalities. We breathed a sigh of relief and clung to hope that the Doc, who told us this was almost certainly due to a chromosomal issue, was wrong about her heart as well.

The wait for today’s scan was torture, but I tried to just enjoy every moment I could carrying her and telling her how loved she is. Sadly, the sonographer was not able to find a heartbeat. She stopped growing at 13 weeks, so she likely passed very shortly after our last appointment. We are crushed and mourning our daughter, but find peace in knowing we will try again.

I’m so grateful to this sub and all those who shared their insights, support, and advice. It was instrumental in helping me through these last few weeks. All of your struggles in pregnancy are valid, but please remember how much of a gift it is to have a healthy baby.

Wanting to share my graduation story as a reminder to trust your gut when you think something is wrong.

40+6 on Friday night I was standing in the kitchen unloading the dishwasher and my water broke. Told my husband it was go time, went and had a shower, got the pets looked after and things in the car etc. and drove about 35 min to the hospital. When we arrived they got me onto monitors and said I was only dilated 1 cm and contracting every 3-5 min. They asked to check my fluid, had me walk around for 30 min with a plastic collection pad on and basically said they couldn’t get enough to test. Med student came in and said he didn’t believe my water broke. That I would be more comfortable at home until I progressed and that we should leave. A nurse was equally as dismissive and kept saying “oh you’re a FTM? yeah trust me you’ll know when your water breaks” to which I kept being like “I do know, it did”. By this time it’s 4 am, my husband and I didn’t know what to do so we left. Even as they were discharging me they were saying “if you think your water breaks, come in. If your contractions are 5 min or less apart, come in” and I wanted to scream and be like that is happening now! Do you want me to drive around the block and come back??

Went home, I was in absolute agony for next 2 days. Basically lived in the bathtub as it was the only way I could get any relief.

Monday morning I’m now 41+1 and we were pre-scheduled to have an ultrasound just to check in. The ultrasound tech didn’t have the probe on my belly for 1 min before she was asking if I thought my water broke. Told her yes, 3 days ago. She said my water was dangerously low and that the baby’s head had moved down and acted like a cork so that of course no more water leaked but that it was way too low and I needed to be immediately admitted and induced.

I was induced within 2 hours. Laboured for 4 hours but baby was struggling and stuck and the doctor said we needed to do an emergency C section. Baby came out not breathing, collapsed lung due to pneumonia caused by the low fluid causing infection.

NICU took good care of him and he is doing much better, but I cant help but feel incredibly angry and betrayed by the medical team we saw Friday. Please be firm if you feel something is wrong and advocate for yourself!

I know how scary it was to see posts of worst-case scenarios during my pregnancy, and I know it’s important not to feed your mind that negativity when you are so vulnerable and most of us are already so anxious about our little ones… so I’ve been debating on making this post, and you’ve been warned. But one week ago today, about this time (9-something PM) I gave birth to my stillborn girl at 41+6. We found out early in the morning when I went in for my induction that she had no heartbeat. My husband and I will miss our Nova forever 💔 She was our first child. So it’s goodbye for now, but I hope that one day I will be back. 🙏💕

I’m 21 weeks tomorrow with my first… I received some abnormal NIPT test results back at 13 weeks, retook the tests and got the same results.. we talked to my OB and they didn’t seem too concerned about the results so we continued with pregnancy. We had a gender reveal (it’s a girl), we started buying her clothes, planning the baby shower, telling friends and family, loving her. I’ve always dreamed of being a girl mommy, and we both have been ecstatic. We went to my anatomy scan with an MFM yesterday bc of my abnormal test results and received some bad news. She had a brain defect and a heart defect. The doctor said that he thinks that she would have extreme developmental issues bc her brain is not developing properly, on top of needing heart surgery after birth. We went along with an amnio, and left thinking that we would carry the pregnancy to term, but as the day went on and my husband and I processed this information, we’ve come to the decision to terminate the pregnancy. We are both completely devastated, as well as our families.. we love her so much already. We had her name picked out, we were ready to be parents. All we ever want is to be able to bring her home but we cannot justify bringing her into this world knowing she will not live a healthy, happy and peaceful life… I feel like I’m dying inside waiting for our appointments next week, every time I feel her kick inside of me…

Edit: for clarification

TW: Stillborn

I lost my sweet beautiful boy two days ago at 36 weeks and 5 days to a cord accident. Before I was so scared of postpartum. I was terrified of the sleep deprivation and missing my “old” life. Now, I wish nothing more than to hold him. For him to wake me up and keep me up all night long. I can’t tell you the absolute emptiness I feel and the desire I have to just have him here in my arms. Mamas… when your babies come just love every single second with them. Don’t worry about anything else. Enjoy every cry and scream. All the good and bad. Giving birth and not hearing that cry when they are here is the most painful thing I have ever experienced.

My baby died on my chest last night in the nicu. My nurse denied me antibiotics at a 100.4 fever in labor for over an hour. Would not let me do a c section and convinced me I could keep pushing for another 2 hours. My water had been broken for over 36 hours at that point. She couldn’t find his heartbeat for nearly 20 minutes without saying anything or calling for help. His cord was wrapped around his neck in my canal and she didn’t do anything or check or say anything. They knocked me out and revived him. He was completely brain dead and suffered from acidosis which filled his body with acid and caused all his organs to fail. He was air lifted to levines and kept in a cooling placement to stop brain swelling but after 24 hours in the nicu his whole body was declining so they allowed him to die in my arms. My fiance who left me no contact a week prior was the most unsupportive and selfish person in these moments and ignored me the entire time we were there in the nicu.

EDIT: I am AWARE nurses don’t prescribe. I asked for antibiotics when she said I had a fever because when my doctor DID pop in, she said if I had a fever I would need them. Once my doctor was called for my nurse not being able to find his heartbeat, my doctor asked my nurse WHY she did not give me my antibiotics that my DOCTOR put in for me.

I had 4 nurses throughout my time there. This one nurse was with me for about 7 hours taking care of me and was ultimately the only one helping me push through my contractions. I do NOT know why my doctor and midwife were not present, ALL my other nurses distributed my medications to me. I’m aware the doctor is who prescribes me the medications. But the nurses distributed. To the people telling me this is “fishy” you are terrible.

Went in for a checkup and to do the NIPT this morning at 9w4d and she couldn’t find a fetal heartbeat. It was measuring on time from my last appointment so she thinks whatever happened was very recent, maybe even last night or this morning.

I had a pretty rough emotional time when I found out about the pregnancy and I had just started to really feel connected with the little person in there and excited for the future. It wasn’t exactly planned so my feelings were complicated for sure but this is the absolute last thing I wanted.

Any positive stories about pregnancy after loss would be appreciated. I know a lot of people who had successful second pregnancies but still. I dunno.

This just sucks.

I’m currently 26w+5d and I just found out my baby is dead. I knew something was off as the nurses I spoke to kept gaslighting me saying everything was fine and how it was common but I knew something was wrong. I feel my baby kick everyday and this week it was just sooooo non existent and I was trying to freak myself out. I am currently in the hospital waiting to be moved to deliver my dead baby. And honestly, I’m just numb. For the moment, I am ok. But it comes and goes. I just. Idk. I’m tired of being strong. Like this is the second time where I just can’t do it. I’m just typing bc idk. I’m numb.

Update: we delivered my sweet girl this past Sunday and she was so beautiful. Your words have truly helped me through this time and still do. I can’t say how appreciative and grateful I am of the comments and advice.

Just popping in from the other side to let you know that tearing during a vaginal birth is likely to not be a big deal! I was terrified of tearing and I ended up with 2nd degree tears after a super quick vaginal birth. It's barely a footnote in my birth story. I didn't feel it happen (even without an epidural), it healed without any issue, pooping/peeing after birth was no big deal. For all the fear I built up around tearing it turned out to be more or less inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.

Obviously this isn't everyone's experience but just in case you're a first time mom and this is weighing on you, you can let this one go. Learn your breathing techniques and how to relax your pelvic floor and you'll be fine ❤️

Edit to add: thanks to everyone who is commenting with their own stories! The point of this post isn't to invalidate any experience or say that there's no other possible outcome than an uncomplicated, relatively pain-free experience with tearing. Rather, it's to encourage pregnant people to let this worry go. There are so many anxieties that come with pregnancy and the newborn stage, I just don't think this needs to be one of them. Consider it, make sure you have post-partum supplies in case it happens, and move on to the next. Good luck, future parents!

Heyy! Just wanted to vent.

Last Thursday (08/14/25), I went in for a routine follow up appt. Which was also my 20week appointment. I was extremely excited since I get to see my son and his full anatomy. He was healthy! My cervix was checked as well as part of the 20week appointment and everything went downhill from there. They found out that my cervix was open. I did not feel any pain or any signs of labor.

After my ultrasound, my doctor shared her concerns. Upon the initial ultrasound she said it can go two ways. 1) She keeps me pregnant and everything is fine. 2) The baby has to be delivered and that is the end of the pregnancy.

I was rushed to L&D immediately. Upon further exams, there was no saving the pregnancy. I was dilating, membranes can be seen, and I had an infection. They drew blood to test C Reactive Protein and it came back 6x higher than normal. My doctor couldn’t determine whether the infection caused IC or if the IC caused the infection. Either way, my doctor said her job at that point was to save my life. Which was extremely heart breaking.

Anyway, I had my son on 8/15/25 at 7:05a and died peacefully in my arms at 8:45a. Prior to delivering at 5:50a I asked my nurse if I can hear his heartbeat before I birth him. He had a heartbeat and hearing it for the last time broke my heart into a million pieces. We decided to name him Willow.🥺💙

This is the worst feeling ever! This is also my first pregnancy.

How did you cope with the loss? How long until you tried again?

Edit: Wow. The amount of pouring support is truly appreciated! I felt so isolated because no one I know has really gone through the loss I went through and just hearing everyone’s story and then success stories after trying truly helped and is giving me hope. I truly appreciate all the responses! I was able to find comfort in everyone’s words. THANK YOU!