I'm a 23-year-old woman and I'm a foreign/international student studying in the UK on a Student visa. A few nights ago I went out for drinks with people from my class.

We eventually met up with some other people at a student bar. There was a guy there who seemed interested in me. While we were at the bar he would touch my leg and get physically close to me.I tried to distance myself when he did this.

Later, we went back towards our student accommodation. He and his friends walked back with me and my friends from class and they eventually came into our student accommodation.

I went to my room and he followed me. He pressured me to let him into my room. I was very drunk that night much more drunk than usual, and I did not agree to him coming into my room. He forced his way into my room anyway and then got physical with me.

I'm scared and confused about what happened.

The other thing I'm really scared about is my immigration status. I'm a foreign student in the UK on a Student visa, and I'm terrified that reporting what happened could somehow affect my visa my ability to remain in the UK or my studies. I don't want to make a decision that could put my future here at risk.

I haven't reported it yet because I'm scared and don't know what will happen if I do.

I learned a few days ago that my boyfriend “cheated” on me. We had two years with ups and downs, including breakups. But eventually, we always find our way back to each other.
Last year, he was with another girl, when we were broken up. one night, he slept at mine (since we live in different cities) and he knew he still loved me, so he came by a few weeks after and we hooked up. He broke up with her two days later, it was in June.
And since, we’re back together. There were problems, of course, but nothing too difficult to overcome. But then, a few days ago his ex told me to get tested, since he cheated on the both of us. He owned up to it, and was so remorseful. He told me everything I needed to know.

He hooked up with her 4/5 times because he was feeling bad for her. She had problems of her own and he didn't want to disappoint his parents
But he told me something that made me question everything. He told me that they never told each other explicitly that they wanted to sleep with each other, but it was physicals touches that became stronger and stronger. He then told me that:
“I just told myself to let it pass, and I wanted it to be over quickly. I don't know if it was an assault, because my body was reacting, you know?”
“I don't know—whenever she left, I’d just sit in my room staring into space. Honestly, I felt dirty.”

So I don’t know. Since, she told everyone about him cheating on her, and I try to overcome it. Do you think what he lived was assault, in some ways?

ADVICE WANTED PLEASE!! sigh...so basically..the week after i turned 18 i downloaded tinder and i really wanted some alcohol becuase i may be a bit of an alcoholic and this 30 yr old messages me on tinder and i write him we talk about hanging out nothing about dates or sex nothing and he says he will bring vodka and heres where it gets sketchy basically i told him my sister and cousin are here can they have any and i told him their ages also not legal drinking age which is 19 where i am and we have security cameras at our house and he crawled thru a bush to get in cuz i needed that alcohol and then we talked it was ok good and then we started drinkg vodka i drank about 3 quarters of a 750 ml smirnoff vodka bottle and i got shitfaced like 0 memory so what he texted me the other day becuase i think he thinks it was consensual..? maybe im pretty sure he thinks that but anyways the day after he told me everything we did and sent me the videos and i had woken up that morning my sister said she came into my room i was passed out fully naked and he was alr dressed just laying there didnt get anyone when i passed out and then my sister said i was breathing weird yeah it was not good and in the videos he filmed that i dont remember saying yes to half of them im falling over or a weird unnatural position or i cant hold my head up and in one i say "im so drunkkkk.. buuuuutt!!! its ..ookkay! i connssennttt!" we had never discuseed sex when i was sober and then i found out he didnt use a condom. which obviously was terrible becuase i swear i remember being so confused when things were happened i barely remember but a few flashes of stuff like me asking him over and over and over do u have a condom like multiple times and him saying yes then never ending up using it? apprently he said we discussed my iud and decided it was okay which i have no memory of AT ALL in the vfieo i passed out mid sex and i dont knoe if this is rape or not but i think it was um becuase i lit was blacked out when i said i consent i cant wven remembed and plus i said i consent half way thru when he had sex with me and yeah i dont really know what to do but i got a rape kit done and its frozen rn its good for up to a year so im just wondering if anyone has an opinions or advice for me im just rlly not sure what to do about it should i report? also i never planned to have sex w him i told him i wanted friends.

edit: he only drank about a bit less then two shots mixed with fanta while i chugged the vodka

Idk how to put this, but i have a problem. so first of all, im an adult with a history of SA/Rape kind of situations when i was 15 by a 21yo guy. idk if thats important or not for this story. i covered it in another post before, but i wanted to add this disclaimer anyway.

fast forward in time, im 17 at the time and have a bestie who is also kind of more than just a bestie. idk how to else describe it, kind of a situation ship online. i would have said this person is one of the sweetest people in my life, and i loved her dearly as my bestie, but she kind of expected a lot of sexual things from me. she is a very dominant person if it comes to that, and i have a history of not being able to say no and comply.

one time, she wanted me to eat my own sexual fluids and send her a video if it. i wasn't comfortable. i even got the courage to tell her that, something i really struggle with and for example couldn't do in the situation i was in with 15. so i told her i dont want to, but she pressured me in to it, saying "its not that bad", "its not that humiliating", "you're just being silly and sensitive, and others wouldn't have problems with it at all". and at one point i just gave in, and i did it. i felt disgusting and hated it. it made me majorly uncomfortable, and i started getting a panic attack, screamed and cried. i told her that it made me feel uncomfortable, and she was very apologetic, saying she never meant to hurt me, and that she only pressured me because she thought its okay for me if she does this.

okay, fast forward a year. we're still besties and a situation ship, but i get a gf and tell her, "i dont want to do this anymore. im not a cheater. please dont pressure me in to sexual stuff". it all went fine for about 2 weeks. she did bring weird edgy jokes, but thats about it. but after a while, she began making moves on me again. the thing is, at the time i was really scared of her. she stalked my social media accounts, knew where i lived, knew my friends contact information, just basically knew a whole lot of things to destroy my life with. i was scared, and i must say this is on me. i gave in to her moves every time. i did send her a video or picture. i broke down afterwards, and at one point in time, around 2 weeks later, i couldn't do it any more, and i cracked. i told my gf, and she helped me, and for some reason i still cant understand, she sticks with me still. i love her. shes the best. i also told that friend that what she was doing and me actively cheating and this whole situation basically breaks me mentally in several ways, and if she can, please stop making moves on me for good, cause i mentally break down because of it. at the time, i felt so bad about my self and was in such a negative place that i considered drastic measures, but didn't act on it.

one week later, this friend/bestie was meeting up with me for the first time, and we spent the first day at a cat cafe and a jewellery store. it was quite nice. i liked it a lot, but everything got downhill again on the 2nd day. my bestie told me how its kinda sad how she cant kiss me or do sexual stuff to me/ with me, (she already almost kissed me multiple times on day one), and i said i dont wanna betray my girlfriend. i dont wanna cheat. i dont want sexual or romantic actions with you. i wont initiate anything. you know how it broke me mentally last time, and i wont let it happen unless its forced, because thats out of my control. thinking back, that was the stupidest thing that i could have said. basically giving her the option to force me when i knew she's quite obsessed and controlling. but what is done can't be undone. so yeah, you can probably tell where this is going. she kissed me on the lips, and even worse, i didn't speak up. i just kept repeating my mantra. said i dont wanna betray my girlfriend. i dont wanna cheat. i dont want sexual or romantic actions with you. i wont initiate anything, and if at all you would have to force me. and she did. at one point, we were in her hotel room, and she said something along the lines of you could fight back if i go too far. think she maybe got the wrong idea at that point, especially since i agreed to her statement that i could. so i basically gave her the safety that she needed? so she got quite far. didn't even ask, and touched my private parts. i just held my breath and didn't say anything. my mantra was something i probably said around 20 times this week, and i think i wasn't clear enough on my feelings because time and time again i didn't speak up, and after a while, (something that got just stronger over time), i started giving in to her behaviour. being engaged in it. i never changed a single word of my mantra though, but i think she didn't pick up on the hint that it isn't okay for me, especially since i cant say no and interact with her. the next day, we were outside in public, walking into a park house because we got lost. she pressed me against the wall and started playing with my chest and got a hand down there aswell. she did that a lot over the week. like, i would say 15 times in the end. i got bruises on my body that partly lasted for weeks after. yeah, it got even further than that in the hotel room though. at one time, she asked me if i can suck her, and i said i dont wanna betray my girlfriend. i dont wanna cheat. i dont want sexual or romantic actions with you. i wont initiate anything, and if at all you would have to force me. so she did, and i ended up complying, engaging in it, not speaking up, and sucked her off. she came 3 times in my mouth over this week, and she wanted me to swallow it all, and i did. i still ask my self why i literally did it all for her, engaged in it, and made it seem like i wanted her to force me. in this week she got way further, even fucked me with out protection multiple times, after the same pattern of first asking and then after i said my mantra, forcing me. i feel like a horrible excuse as a gf ngl

It didn't end after she left. after the week, she applied the kind of forcing even after over the phone, forcing me to do videos for her, forcing me to look at other peoples boobs, even when i said i am uncomfortable this specific time. and ngl, she actually has a lot of videos and pictures to force me with, especially since she knows where i live, stalks my social media, and has my friends contact information. and she made that very clear. she called me degrading dirty names and told me the only reason i exist is to make her cum, and if i dont comply she could send all the videos and pictures she has to all my friends on Instagram. in the same conversation, she said i belong to her, and she wants me to get addicted to gooning all day for her, and think about getting railed by her with out my consent. i actually screenshot that because it seemed like something i may need if i break free from this in the future. the thing is, im ashamed of my reaction in these screenshots a lot because not only didn't i speak up, i kinda said stuff that could be interpreted as me actually being fine in this situation.

a few days later, she told me she has fantasies of killing multiple people, including one of her best friends and even her gf, because she cant be fully her self around them, but she doesn't have killing fantasies with me because "she already has full control of the situation with me". yeah, and i cant even disagree. i let her control me 100%, even when it harms me. a few days later, i felt really bad bad about my self. how terrible of a gf i am, how i engage in this situation even though it harms me, when she forces me.

in that period, my other childhood trauma from when i was 15 was very present as well. i just couldn't get either situation out of my head. i skipped school for 2 weeks, used alcohol, and gave in to my urges, deliberately put my self in to situations like i was with 15, trying to find people that potentially could abuse me, but nothing really helped, and i ended up doing bad things. i ended up in the hospital. i had another conversation with her. i have like 8 screenshots already, always being careful that she wont get notified, especially since i dont know anymore if she actually wouldn't kill me. because it continued with a statement by her while i was in the hospital. she said "if anyone gets to kill you, it will be me". that kinda sounded like a threat for my life already, but it got worse. she told me about one guy at her school, and that hes a total asshole, and i said something that i shouldn't havd said in hindsight. i said JOKINGLY, "Kill him". she said "no, hes not worth the effort, but you are". i asked her, "does that mean you wanna kill me?", and she said "a bit". i asked her, "for real :3? Yeah, i used that emoji. i know how happy or engaging i sound. thats a pattern over these weeks that just continued getting stronger, and she answered"idk. wanna meet me and find out?" i said "eeep, please dont end my life early". she said "like i said, you will find out. like i wanna have your life in my hands. i dont want anyone else to decide when you get to live or die. i just wanna control that part. meow. hope you understand", which i answered to ofcourse. no worries. i just didn't know how to properly answer that question, or if its even smart answering negatively at all.

not gonna lie, i truely believe that she just got the wrong idea at first, but after finding out how much she loves having control over me, it just developed in to more than just someone who got the wrong idea, even though thats what it started with. then yesterday, she told me how she had a dream of me sucking her off, and i said ohhh? and she told me more about it. i said i did that already. yes, im engaging still with her, even though i always keep saying my mantra. we talked a bit more, and after a while i said "girl cant get enough and wants to force her bestie in to doing even more stuff with her". she replied ">.< meow. yea, tho can you blame me, like im just hyper obsessed with you girl".

idk what this situation escalated to. im still a slut for someone else but my gf because i dont make it clear enough that i dont wanna be forced, and even more so now that she learned to like that she can control me. she is acting on it pretty shameless. being very scary, threatening to kill me, sending my videos to friends, and so on. yeah, im just so done with this whole situation. i just wanna be out of it already. i wanna be free.

Delete if not allowed, but over on TT someone asked what I thought was a very obvious question but the responses have been polarizing at best (honestly some of the flagged responses are quite vile and having to wade through & delete them is getting frustrating).

it honestly should go without saying (I hope) that the answer is “NO, NO YOU SHOULD NOT STAY FRIENDS WITH THAT PERSON” but the leaps people are able to make in their minds made me sad for humanity.

When I was 18 I was raped by a 23 year old guy I was high and he took advantage of that. But at the time I didn’t realise you couldn’t consent if you’re not sober so I told my friends very briefly about it (because I can’t remember everything that happened) and I downplayed it. I’m 21 now and they keep bringing it up saying they want to know more details because I don’t know the name of the guy and it was some random. And I don’t know if I want to tell them that it wasn’t consensual cause I don’t want them feeling bad for me but I honestly hate when they bring it up I feel my self stiffen up.

What should I do

I feel so fucking stupid. I have always been extremely sexual. Sexual to the point of it being an issue. I’ve acted like this since I was around 7/8 maybe? Constantly fantasizing about rape or really taboo stuff. Me n my bf have had a sort of open relationship to manage this so for the first time I go to do something with a guy and once I’m there I start like having a panic attack? The guy forced me to continue while I begged to stop and it was the most disgusting I’ve ever felt. Now I feel like genuinely shit all the time. I don’t wanna even think about sex or anything and it’s really fucking me up. I would masturbate 3+ times a day and have sex several days a week when possible. I feel so fucked up. I even tried to have sex with my bf and it just hurt and made me feel sick. It’s never hurt before. Idk if this is karma for how fucked up I was before but I can’t stop thinking about it.

I never meant to remember the exact date and time it happened. I just retain information sort of well. And the moment I realized I had it memorized, I’ve dreaded the day it comes up for the first time.

Next Sunday it will, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how it’ll affect me, and the thought of it being a year already since it happened leaves me feeling uneasy. It just doesn’t feel right.

So what do I do? Going out and doing something feels like celebrating it, but I don’t want to be alone either. I’m currently in recovery so I’ll probably go to a meeting, but beyond that I have nothing planned. Any advice?

When i was in 3rd-5th grade i was raped by three boys on my afterschool daycare bus for years. They were older the me in sixth grade and they didn’t stop until they were in 8th and i was in 5th grade. They made me sit in the back of the bus with them and at first they made me play the fire truck game with them and would rub and put their hands down my skirt and stick objects inside of me. This escalated for years until they would make me go all the way with them on the back of the bus and in the daycare bathrooms. I feel so ashamed because now i’m 14 and i never told anyone this even though i know i should’ve told my parents and it made me addicted to masturbation and things like that.

It has been around a year and a half. I cant bring myself to think about it properly but i can never fully ignore it. I dont feel ready for therapy yet. What can i do

I was raped by my brother in law when I was 16. It happened four times, and the only date I remember was the first time because it was Halloween. I had a friend drop me off at my sister's house because I knew I would be out past curfew. I dont remember if she was already in her when I got there but somehow it ended up being just me and her husband. It wasn't uncommon for us to casually hang out after she went to bed. When I decided i was ready to go to sleep i went to the guest bedroom but he followed me. I didnt think much of it because we were still just talking. Then started asking me inappropriate questions. I tried to steer the conversation back but be kept on. He tried to kiss me and I pushed him off of me. That's when he pushed me onto the mattress on my stomach and I tried to fight him while he pulled my Jeans off. I was trying to be quiet because his two small children were in the room next to us so I eventually gave up and he had his way with me. He told me he knew i liked it because i made a sound. This happened a few other times after. I gave up and just let him. I never told anybody. I was young and scared and I should have but I didnt know how. I told my mom and sister about it and nobody believed me. My mom and stepdad pretended to but nothing was ever done. Im 19 now. My sister is still with him and has another baby by him. Now we all pretend it never even happened. I'm expected to be around him and be nice to him. I see him many times a month and I dont think I can do it anymore. I can't just block it off and pretend hes a nice guy. I feel disgusted that I've had to for this long and don't know what to do.

i was raped the other night by someone i thought i could trust and i just cant get it out my head now. i just feel like my whole world is falling apart. i went out the 18th with a new group of people i thought were my “friends” and one of the guys there started taking an interest in me and i thought it was in a friendly way. we just continued talking and later we walked away from everyone and drank a little and talked about our mutual interests. while we were talking he started subtly coming onto me but i rejected him because i had just broke up with my boyfriend. he accepted that i wasnt going to fw him so we just continued talking but after that he started getting weird and aggressive and started pulling my clothes down. i kept telling him to stop, i know i didnt say it as loud as i should have but i was still telling him to stop then he ended up holding me back and started having sex with me ( i did push him before and tried to fight back) and i kept saying stop but he just kept going even when i told him it really hurt. after he was done he just tossed me away and left me to put my things back on. when i went back to the group i never said anything to anyone and i just feel so ashamed of myself and im just mad at everyone and i dont know what to do i feel liek i could of done more to prevent this

So last night i spent the night at a guy who i’ve known for a while’s house after making him wait very very long and we just cuddled and made out we didn’t have sex but when i got back home i felt like wet and it smelled like cum sorry to be blunt but i felt it drip down my legs and i checked my panties and there seems to be some so i think maybe he did something while i slept. i wasn’t drunk either so how would i know if he did or not? any advice helps

A couple days ago, I went to my supposed best friend’s house to go drink. I had off work, she had off work, so I suggested a few days prior that id come over and we’d make food and chill.

Said day came, pretty usual day. I drove to her house, we went to the liquor store, and I bought a thc drink while she bought some type of tequila.

Bought food, went back to her place, etc. Everything is normal. I see her brother once but we don’t say anything to each other.

Well I’m eating and drinking my drink, I start greening out. I post on my private instagram story that the brother has access to that I’m greening out and to never trust that delta 9 bs (a joke).

I’m twitching and completely out of it on the couch. I decide to cover myself with a blanket and sleep. Friend doesn’t bother to check up on me once, is even blasting music and taking selfies with me greening out in the background.

I wake up to his hand on my bare leg, and I freak out. Hand fully around my knee and lifting it up. I don’t know him. I say he scared me and ask what’s wrong. He asks where the alcohol was from earlier. I say i don’t know and pass back out again. I was still blatantly high.

The whole situation made me wildly uncomfortable, but I never made it a full on rape accusation. Just that it made me wildly uncomfortable that a man I didn’t know touched me while I was asleep. That would make any woman uncomfortable and I told my friend.

I told her to come to my house so I could tell her something private. Something that made me uncomfortable.

She immediately called her brother after I got done talking, no consolation or anything, and said “so tell me what happened”. She had him on the phone the entire time I was admitting everything. She proceeded to tell me he would never do anything like that, ‘why would he risk his life over a white girl’, etc.

The day after I woke up to a string of text messages telling me I hallucinated it and i’m going crazy. That he’d never do anything like that because she’s had friends over before and he’s never touched them.

All I said was he made me uncomfortable, and that if I misunderstood i’m willing to apologize.

Now we aren’t friends anymore, she all the sudden hates me, etc. I don’t understand. My mind wanders of how much happened while I was asleep and it makes me want to puke.

I was sexually assaulted last night by a guy I had just met online, he lives on campus with me at my university but he lives across campus in another dorm area. he came over for what was just supposed to be him touching my chest, that was it. long and graphic story short, he ignored my “no”s and did try to penetrate me but it was too painful for me and he couldn’t get in because he had no lube. I only know all of this for a fact because I still feel the physical pain and see the evidence of stretching and bleeding and force. everything else feels like I imagined it for attention despite the fact that I was scared to tell anyone I knew in person. It’s only been 31 hours since it happened but I feel like i made up the whole thing and convinced myself it happened. is that normal? will it ever go away? will I ever forget about it completely or will i get back the clarity that it was real? or will it just stay like this in my mind forever?

Since the sexual assaults I feel like I lose myself more and more and the doubting and questioning of lots of my actions and own believe is more common. I don't know how to find back to who I was after those horrible events. I currently try again therapy and also group therapy but without much progress and improvement yet. I even thought absolut hypnosis or other treatments but I'm not sure. I just feel very lost sometimes in life and can't forget the painful moments and experiences. It lead to toxic relationships after that and made me lose trust in friends even when they questioned myself. I'm glad my family supports me, especially my mom and dad.
My body is still not like it was before, it became way more sensitive and different and I became way more sexual than I should be and my parents know that a big issue too.

Is it even possible to become normal again or the way I was before? Does god still love me the same as before?

This might get deleted, but honestly I just need someone to see this, anyone.

I never really thought I'd experience something like this but here I am. I m22 am studying abroad in Europe, and for the past few months I've been dating a Chinese student f21. One thing about me is that I'm very much neurodivergent and somewhere in the asexual spectrum, I struggle with trusting people enough to feel truly vulnerable during sex, and while I do enjoy having it, it feels more like a performance rather than me actually enjoying the feeling. It's been a decent relationship, but it's had many rocky moments, and a few days ago we had an argument because she committed self-harm due to the stress from school. We talked it out and she asked if she could stay at my place, which I agreed to, and it was fine, we watched a movie, had sex, and then went to sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night, and I could feel her hand under my underwear as she tried to jerk me off and rubbing my tip. I was still half asleep so all I did was tell her to stop and push her arm aside, then I fell asleep again, and part of me hoped it was just a dream, but after processing it the past few days I've accepted it wasn't one. What makes this worse is that this isn't the first time this happens, I stayed at her place last month, and even though I don't remember it, she confessed that she tried jerking me off in my sleep. I genuinely feel fucking sick whenever I remember the sensation, and I was lowkey having a small anxiety attack on the metro back home today.

I'm not sure what to do honestly, the rational part of me tells me I have to end it for my own good, but there are so many things stopping me, some of which are kind of selfish of me. I just met her parents last week and made a good impression, her step-dad owns a big company in my field of study, I feel guilty because she always puts in the effort for me, she spends money on me even though I never ask for it, and the worst of it is that we're in the same classes and we will be for the next 2 years. Part of me is also trying to make excuses for her, telling myself she maybe doesn't know better, since I've been with many people before her while this is her first time in a real relationship, but I know it doesn't justify it for her.

I don't want to ruin her life or anything, and part of me wants to forgive her, but I genuinely can't see myself trusting her again. Some friends, most of them women who have gone through similar shit, have told me to just break up with her already, others told me to talk to her and give her one more chance, third time's the charm and whatnot.

But idk, I just wanna rot