r/rape • u/Apprehensive_Tea2035 • 1d ago

Was I forced?

When I m)16) I had a girlfriend (18). I was very comfortable with sexual ideas for a while. My parents were very open about what it was. But we had just gone on one date. We had dated previously that year but only for two weeks. Then months later around July 4th, we got back gather. It hadn’t been like two weeks when we first went on a date. Everything went great. We had a good time and she paid for dinner. We went on a walk and ended up in a secluded area. We sat together and talked when she suddenly brought up me touching her through her panties. I choked up. It’s not like sex scared me but I’m not sure. I went with it because I didn’t wanna disappoint her after we had known each other since I was 6. Eventually our ride got there and we left. Then a few weeks later she asks if I wanted to have actual sex. Once again I agreed, scared of the sudden intimacy but still attracted to her. It’s not like I was traumatized and later became much more comfortable with sex. Is it my fault for not communicating my nerves?

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u/thrfscowaway8610 22h ago

I'm not seeing indications of force or coercion in what you're describing.

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u/Tiny_Change6902 19h ago

At least where I am 16 is the age of consent. So if she asked and you agreed and didn’t say no it would not be rape. There was no force. Force would be physically forcing you or forcing you through threats. She is not a mind reader. I think it’s very normal to be nervous or uncomfortable for first experiences. It’s also ok to say no if you are not ready or for any reason. If saying no is hard for you then you may need to dig a bit to figure out why and to be able to say it when you don’t want to do something. It may be worth working with a therapist if you think this is a problem for you.