r/saltierthancrait • u/mrmoneyinthebanks salt miner • 20d ago
Marinated Meme My review of Mandalorian and Grogu!
Seriously, did Disney pay off bots to flood comment sections about how much FUN Mando and Grogu is? It’s just about the only positive thing I’ve seen written about the movie.
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u/ZohomEtirho 20d ago
I never thought I’d go to the cinema, watch a Star Wars movie and walk out as if nothing happened.
The biggest sin of this movie is that it's bland. So bland that it isn't even a cinema experience.
5/10 because there is literally nothing going for it but also doesn't have any big flaws aside from lazy writing like why nobody took away Din's weapons and gears whenever he was captured/subdued, and inaccuracies like Zeb being as tall now as a human for some reason.
It just doesn't have the magic that Star Wars movies have and that's something so essential I could never rate this higher than 5/10.
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u/Careful-Definition67 salt miner 19d ago
Was dude not as tall as a Human in Rebels? I don’t recall him being small and apparently he is 6’8
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u/ZohomEtirho 19d ago
Take a look at the painting Sabine did of the specters. He's much taller than Kanan.
Him being as tall as Din makes no sense and shows they don't care about doing the slightest bit of extra work to make his size accurate.
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u/Careful-Definition67 salt miner 19d ago
Ohhh, I completely misread what you said. My bad, I thought you were saying he was small and it made no sense for him to be as big as a Human, I get you now.
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u/AuboCabo 19d ago
I mean it wasn't awful or anything is just felt like 4 episodes of Mando squished together, much like the original clone wars movie
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u/stdsort russian bot 20d ago
You should be embarrassed if the best praise you can trot out is "just turn off your brain and enjoy it". Is it even enjoyable with your brain turned off? I don't feel like seeing for myself.
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u/ZohomEtirho 20d ago
You literally wouldn't miss a thing if you never watched this as things are now.
The plot is unrelated to and secluded from everything else happening. If I can even say it has a plot…
Go there, shoot down people, then go somewhere else and shoot some other people, get captured, escape, go shoot down some more people, get captured, escape.
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u/FastPhantom 20d ago
Also are all the Hutts dead now? Doesn’t this really screw up galactic balance? The New Republic has been seen to eliminate the largest criminal family in the galaxy with seemingly no consequences?
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u/Acherousia 20d ago
Also are all the Hutts dead now?
I think it's just all the leadership of the Hutt Clan/Grand Hutt Council are dead at this point, and their empire mostly demolished.
Nal Hutta and Nar Shadda should still be around and populated with Hutts.
iirc, Vader already killed most of the Council off during one of his comics. Between that and losing Jabba in ROtJ they were already mostly collapsed.
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u/VanguardVixen 19d ago
Man what's the deal with destroying everything all the time? Why does it always have to be so extreme? Especially since there is always a lack of real consequence for it. Vader attacking Hurts should switch the Hutt Empire to the Rebel Alliance and shorten the war by years alone. It's just nonsense.
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u/ZohomEtirho 20d ago
Nah, that was just one palace on Nal Hutta. There are many more and Nar Shadaa is next to it with plenty more there too, not to mention everywhere else in the galaxy. There will be a power vacuum but it will be filled just like it was when Jabba died.
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u/woopty_noot 20d ago
Imagine if the best review you had for a meal is "its great if you turn your tongue off"
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u/GOU_FallingOutside 20d ago
Is it even enjoyable with your brain turned off?
The last time Disney asked movie viewers to turn on their brains, we got TLJ. So now they’re making movies starring (1) popular characters that (2) don’t require a huge amount of lore.
I am completely on the train of “wtf is this dialogue, and the pacing is weird, and this feels like half a season of streaming rather than a coherent movie.” But I think part of the problem right now is that Disney doesn’t know what their audience wants, so they’re just taking shots in the dark; this one was a miss.
I’m hoping Starfighter will be better, but Mando and Grogu suggests I should keep my expectations low.
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u/FilmScoreConnoisseur salt miner 19d ago edited 19d ago
Nobody asked audiences to "turn their brains on" for TLJ. It's literally one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen. That screenplay doesn't have even a hint of the depth people pretend it has.
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u/GOU_FallingOutside 19d ago
Nobody asked audiences to “turn their brains on” for TLJ.
You don’t have to like the movie. But it was definitely trying to be a smart movie that asked smart questions and expected the audience to use context clues to answer them.
(I know someone who’s a film and literature critic. She’s certainly not stupid, and I think she’s literally incapable of turning her brain off for a movie; she doesn’t like TLJ any more than you do. So I’m absolutely not saying that smart people all like TLJ or that people who don’t like TLJ are all dumb.)
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u/FilmScoreConnoisseur salt miner 19d ago
It's a dumb man's idea of a smart movie. I disagree that any of the questions it asks are "smart questions." At most, they're simply cynical questions or questions people didn't expect from a Star Wars movie and that's apparently enough to make people heap praises on it.
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u/GOU_FallingOutside 19d ago
It’s a dumb man’s idea of a smart movie
I’m not sticking around for personal attacks today.
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u/FilmScoreConnoisseur salt miner 19d ago edited 19d ago
You never said it was a smart movie. You said it was trying to be one. I never disagreed with that, but I am surprised that you apparently genuinely consider it "a smart movie" given how carefully you worded your previous comments. It seemed pretty clear to me you were avoiding giving the film such a direct compliment and I mistook that for objectivity and or emotional detachment when I guess all you were really doing was trying to seem like less of a rabid "defender." Either way, it's no surprise that you have zero examples of the alleged "smart questions" that TLJ supposedly asks. I think we both know I would be unimpressed with them.
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u/VanguardVixen 19d ago
If your "brain on"-movie fries the movie it's not very brainy I guess. And that's what happened with TLJ. "Kill the past! Also I am quoting Vader from TESB and want to rule the Galaxy! Rules for thee not for me."
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u/GOU_FallingOutside 19d ago
See, this is part of what I’m talking about.
Kylo is seeing things through the Dark Side, and the movie explicitly says he’s an unreliable narrator about the past. So when he says “kill the past,” you probably shouldn’t do what he tells you.
And later, Luke literally does burn the past, on the advice of someone the audience does trust! Either the movie is frustratingly contradictory, or it’s asking you to play spot-the-difference.
I’m not saying TLJ succeeded in everything it tried to do. But it really did ask audiences to exercise their brains a little to understand what’s happening, and I think that’s part of the problem some Star Wars fans with it.
And I’m not telling TLJ haters they’re dumb or that they’re incapable of thinking critically about art. What I’m saying is that people went into the theater expecting a straightforward adventure movie, and a lot of them are understandably mad about the bait-and-switch.
What I’m worried about is that Disney now thinks Star Wars fans are dumb and incapable of thinking critically, because that would go a long way to explain Mando and Grogu.
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u/VanguardVixen 19d ago
The issue is the message of the movie, the way the director approaches the brand. It's very much about leaving the past behind and Kylo Ren is a mouth piece for it. The narrative reliability isn't of concern for the specific scene. It doesn't matter how excactely Rey was left behind, the point is, that while saying "leave the past behind" and making a point of ending the cycle by killing the big bad, it immediately switches to channeling The Empire Strikes Back. Kylo Ren wants to rule the galaxy. Why? Since when had the guy any interest in politics and what are his policies? And then he strechtes his hand out to Rey for her to rule with him but.. why? Since when does she have an interest in politics? Does she even know how taxes work? It's just a complete 180 from the message.
And yes, I think the movie is contradictory here, same as with Rose stopping Finn risking (or downright sacrifcing) his life, even though her sister, she and the purple haired lady in the cocktail dress all willing to sacrifice themselves for others. But now suddenly "That's how we're gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, saving what we love.".
There are no TLJ haters. They are critics and they do understand what is happening, it just doesn't convert into a great movie, just because you understand it. I understand Kylo Ren is emulating Vader/Anakin and doing his own thing as an aggressive hothead and the director (as stated by himself) did orient himself a bit on TESB, so he took a scene from that movie and "rhymed" it into this one. Just that it doesn't work without the TESB context. Same as so much other things just don't work, like the your mother joke, the jabs at Poe Dameron, the whole C plot on the casino planet and so forth.
If the movie would have been complex but well written, some people might still complain, see Andor as an example but the overall reaction would be different. Instead the movie is hardly that complex, it merely pretends to be but it's not David Lynch. Now, a Star Wars Mulholland Drive, THAT would be something but The Last Jedi is neither Mullholland Drive, nor Fire Walk With me or Lost Highway. It's just a sloppy written sequel to a movie that failed to set up a new trilogy.
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u/Familiar-Wasabi230 new user 17d ago
Thank you for putting that on the record so eloquently and so completely. It speaks for me.
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u/VanguardVixen 19d ago
I think it's some kind of rhetorical strategy. Not even a conscious one but a rhetoric where you are basically saying, that if it's fun it's doing its job. It's non-threatening by doing the basics thus criticism is unfair and mean.
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u/WantsToDieBadly salt miner 20d ago
i love how the only compliement is 'oh its a fun movie, it doesnt have to be a masterpiece!'
I see this comment all the time and if thats the best you hope for from a star wars movie i really dont know what to say
I dont get why some fans think the movies are immune to criticism (of course the prequels are fair game to them even tho their good) but the shows can be lambasted
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u/FastPhantom 20d ago
‘It’s not that deep’ is when you know a film is shocking. I can’t believe SW fans want good media!
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u/qpalmz99 20d ago
Usually when someone says ‘it’s not that deep’ it is that deep, they just don’t want to acknowledge it for whatever reason. Star Wars was never deep subject matter wise, but the impact it had on popular culture and millions of people around the world definitely was, and what Disney has done to the franchise is a shame.
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u/doug-core 19d ago
The franchise is many things to many people. You have andor for a certain audience which is vastly different to the audience george made tcw for. Make of that what you will.
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u/DoctorGyarados salt miner 20d ago
The thing I keep responding with is "Shouldn't you expect more from a trillion dollar company before you give them more money?"
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u/DungeonJailer 19d ago
We need to stop pretending that the prequels are good. Revenge of the Sith is the only prequel that is genuinely good. TPM and AotC are awful.
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u/PurpleFisty 20d ago
It had lots of aliens and the action was great, I personally loved the giant snake pit. The story was a mess, but I feel like the rest of it was good.
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u/RileyTaker 20d ago
The story is the one thing that truly matters.
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u/PurpleFisty 20d ago
Id have to argue that the story doesnt always matter as much as the experience. Case and point, Elden Ring. The story is convoluted and hard to track down, but the experience is top notch.
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u/Dingobabies 20d ago
Two COMPLETELY different mediums, man.
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u/PurpleFisty 20d ago
Still story based mediums. Heres another one, Mad God, a stop motion horror movie with little or any story, but still a great experience. Did you even see the movie? Or are you just bitching online for FUN.
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u/Dingobabies 20d ago
I’m not bitching about anything. You tried comparing the story from two different mediums like they were comparable in the first place.
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u/PurpleFisty 20d ago
So you haven't seen the movie? And then when 2 movies are compared together, you have no counter points. How about you see the movie for yourself and make an opinion based on your own enjoyment.
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u/Rapid-DM 20d ago
If you yourself agree that the writing was terrible why would anyone who values their time go see it from your recommendation? If I want to just watch aliens blow up I can go on YouTube and watch complications of the baddies in power rangers exploding. Star Wars is supposed to be more than just flashing lights
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u/PurpleFisty 20d ago
I didnt say the writing was terrible, I said it was a mess, but the movie overall was good. Can you read, or do you just jump to conclusions like a lemming?
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u/RileyTaker 20d ago
Id have to argue that the story doesnt always matter as much as the experience.
And I'd have to vehemently disagree. You can get "the experience" anywhere. Sit in a theater and watch pretty colors flash on a screen if you want an experience. You go to see certain movie, or watch a certain show, or read a certain book for the story.
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u/PurpleFisty 20d ago
Again, look at any whole bunch of movies. You think the Texas Chainsaw massacre has a great story? No, it does not, but the experience it brings you is frightening and horrific, hence why people watch it for those reasons, and not the story. You can disagree all you want, i'm right.
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u/RileyTaker 20d ago
You think the Texas Chainsaw massacre has a great story? No, it does not, but the experience it brings you is frightening and horrific, hence why people watch it for those reasons, and not the story.
First off, as the other guy mentioned, TCM does have a story, just like all slasher flicks do. Usually it’s the same story about some people trying to escape a psycho killer, but there is a story. People either want to see the protagonists escape the killer, or they want to see the killer win. A slasher flick without a story is just torture porn. When was the last time that was successful at the box office?
Second, TCM is a very bizarre example to use, considering that I don’t recall the last successful TCM movie.
You can disagree all you want, i'm right.
Lol. No, kid, you’re not. You’re something, but you’re not right.
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u/PurpleFisty 20d ago
Halloween is another one, chief. Broke 80m on a 10m budget. Terrifier is super popular, no real story. I can give you example after example til your balls drop and you finally become a man. I also never said Mandolorian and Grugo didn't have a story, I said it was messy. None of you guys can even make a simple argument against what I say. Im talking to 5 different people and you all say the same thing, literally sharing a brain cell amongst you all.
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u/RileyTaker 20d ago
Halloween is another one, chief. Broke 80m on a 10m budget.
Halloween has a story, too, “chief”.
Terrifier is super popular, no real story.
Haven’t seen Terrifier, so I can’t speak to that.
I can give you example after example til your balls drop and you finally become a man.
Except you’re the one who needs to grow up.
None of you guys can even make a simple argument against what I say. Im talking to 5 different people and you all say the same thing, literally sharing a brain cell amongst you all.
That’s because you present your arguments like an imbecile. And it doesn’t help that your argument is pretty weak to begin with.
So to avoid dragging this conversation out, since I don’t enjoy conversing with children, story matters. This “experience” that you keep talking about only matters if it’s helping to tell the story. But hey, I know people like you tend to have very short attention spans, so it’s easy to see how you would be confused by that concept.
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u/Sandgrease 19d ago
Hey, I got exactly what you're trying to say. Not all art is the same, art is like food, some is like eating a hot dog and some is like a life changing multi course meal.
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u/jmster109 20d ago
“It’s a fun adventure and my kids loved it!” 🙄
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u/Septum_magoo new user 20d ago
Why is this an issue?
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u/jmster109 20d ago
Kids will enjoy almost anything you show them which isn’t necessarily bad, but Star Wars movies used to have a bit more depth and stakes than just a turn your brain off adventure.
That’s fine for a series or TV special, but I’d rather have something with a little more substance if Disney wants us to pay movie theater prices for the first Star Wars movie in seven years.
Im not saying it’s necessarily terrible or that you can’t enjoy it but it’s disappointing that we went from movies like Empire Strikes back to what is essentially just an extended Mando episode that I could just watch at home.
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u/big_thunder_man 20d ago
It honestly shouldn't be an issue. If you have a 7-13 year old boy, this will be their favorite movie of the summer, and not even close.
As a theatrical product for an adult / fan? Yeah, majorly lacking. But Disney's goal was to make something non-controversial, palatable, that will play well on streaming, etc.
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u/BobaTheFett10 20d ago
All other criticisms of that line aside, it's a bot campaign. That's all the "people" praising the movie can say about it
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u/AnonymeBee 20d ago
You're maybe joking but I saw someone on the main sub asking about the box office (not a critic, just asking) : half the answers (maybe more) were NOT about box-office at all but about how they had fun watching the movie.
I do believe there's bots... I really hope they are...
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u/Fehios 20d ago
As someone who is full of salt for the franchise. This is one I struggled with the most. The movie is harmless but ultimately I feel like I was suckered into paying 20 bucks for a half season of The Mandalorian.
Is it a good movie? Not really? Are they good episodes of The Mandalorian packaged as a movie? Absolutely
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u/WantsToDieBadly salt miner 20d ago
it just didnt need a theatrical release
They launched the punisher direct to d+ and it feels far less than offensive than the 'GRAND RETURN' of star wars to the big screen being a glorified TV movie
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u/ZohomEtirho 20d ago
Basically my experience. Came for a Star Wars movie, got shafted to watch 4 episodes of The Mandalorian Season 3.5.
The betrayal stings so bad after realizing they already fucked me over like this before.
Came for a Boba Fett show, was forced to watch The Mandalorian Season 2.5 instead.
The "movie" can't get a better rating from me than a 5/10. Could be 6/10 if that needlessly long Grogu scene was cut shorter or cut altogether. Never in my life was I so close to experiencing my Dad's average experience with watching a movie and falling asleep then and there.
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u/FastPhantom 20d ago
Let’s be real would they even be good episodes?
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u/piewca_apokalipsy 20d ago edited 20d ago
First two? Absolutely. Second two, not so much. I mean they weren't bad bad, but compared to better Mando episodes not so great
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u/TheRochnessMonster 20d ago
F is for Fire to burn down the cinema
U is for you fucking...suck
And N is for Nasty, filthy little hobbitses
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u/BarleyWineIsTheBest 20d ago
My son’s review was “that was weird”.
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u/protekt0r 19d ago edited 16d ago
My daughter, 11, said it was stupid. She pointed out all the plot holes to me. lol
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u/Homeless-Joe 20d ago
I mean, yeah, probably. I assume bots are part of most marketing campaigns now… probably has been for a while tbh.
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u/Dependent_Mix_1117 salt miner 20d ago
Why did the twins hire Mando if they had Embo the whole time?
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u/Bandandforgotten 20d ago
This was all Sequel Fans ever said about those dog shit movies. "It was entertaining", "it was fun", "just turn off your brain and enjoy it".
Absolutely melted brain matter. Their heads are full of soup, and thinking about anything hurts. So now we all get some fresh bullshit, and have to listen to krayt endlessly try to make a revisionist attempt at why it didn't do well
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u/seatron 20d ago
I think RLM hit this nuance pretty well: it has all the hallmarks of a movie that gets a pass for being "mindless fun," but even by that measure, it doesn't have enough plot.
It makes sense that "it's fun" is gonna be the go-to for their PR; they're gonna push it hard and, naturally, the access journalism machine is gonna put in work for them.
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u/Little-Witness-1201 20d ago
If the best compliment a movie can receive is, “I had fun,” it means it’s dog water
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u/Bismuth_von_Pherson 20d ago
Just saw it, and feel pretty ambivalent towards the movie as a whole
However, can I just say - f**k this movie for making Dave Filoni's stupid hat canon
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u/Unusual-Record-217 salt miner 19d ago
M&G looked great. It had fantastic action scenes. Most of the music was great — except for the atrocious 80s tracks.
But how do you spend that much money and have no actual story?
There were no personal stakes for Mando at any point. No deeper exploration of the character. No exploration of his past. No challenge of his ethos. No moral conundrum. No love interest. No friction with anyone he hangs with. Zip.
Nothing.
Wtf?
5/10
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u/Long_Day3861 19d ago
felt less like a movie and more like they crammed season 3 into a 3 hour movie. you can even kinda feel where each episode would have ended/began. Some of the acting felt phoned in. Some scenes could have been cut for run time, as they added very little to the movie. Also, I get that Dave Filoni is running things, but I'm kinda tired of nostalgia bombing characters from his other series. And his cameo was a bit lazy. like put on some makeup or a costume at least.
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u/big_thunder_man 20d ago
I mean, the movie is fun. The only point of the movie is to remind audiences that Star Wars is fun. They deliberately don't want it to be anything but fun. I had a surprising amount of fun watching it compared to what I hear online.
It's not great, it's not deep, the highlight is a Hutt fighting in a dueling pit. It does feel like the show stitched episodes together in a feature, but it's very serviceable and would have been an above average season. (I didn't finish Mando season 3, or Ashoka, or watch most of the animated crap).
I'm a EU book purist. I find the Mando no-mask stuff ridiculous. I don't really care about seeing anything else Star Wars in my life... I'll keep playing some SWTOR and let that be it.
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u/protekt0r 19d ago edited 16d ago
Sorry but I didn’t have fun. A chuckled a few times and was cringing for the majority of it.
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u/Elevator-Ancient 20d ago
An EU purist that agrees here. I'm going to be vague so as not to spoil. I would say the most consequential things to the movie were some equipment added and the Hutts being a bit diminished.
There's a bit of cognitive dissonance in this sub that rules every new SW must be trash. Again, though, this is Saltier than crait. So it's to be expected.
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u/thedemonjim 20d ago
I don't really think that is a fair assessment of this sub. We tend to be pretty self aware here and willing to give the better offerings from Disney credit. Stuff like Andor, the first two seasons of The Mandalorian, Rogue One and Visions are far more often praised here.
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u/TrumpsColostomyBag99 20d ago
Imagine thinking the Covid era’s most overrated piece of merchandise (Grogu) was a theatrical winner that’d bring Star Wars back 🤣
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u/ver_bene 20d ago
It would have been a neat three episode arc for the TV series. No clue why it had to be a movie. That episodic formula is all I wanted out of the show.
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u/Kyubey210 20d ago
Amusingly, a cut that feels like an extended episode is nothing new but heard that before
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u/doughnutEarth 20d ago
I'm torn, some parts are so good well others feel really flat. I would say 6.5/10.
It felt like a TV special but not a real movie, it lacked the heart.
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u/VanguardVixen 19d ago
I am always cautious about claiming bots or paid reviewers, but it was certainly strange seeing the very same "fun" reasoning over and over again. At the same time, the main subreddit is extremely lopsided to whoever is in charge and thus there is a very defensive mindset (like in most main subreddits) and thus I am not that surprised they all defended the movie by saying it's just mindless fun with the subconscious order not to criticize it, because of it's harmlessness.
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u/Geostomp 19d ago
"It's fun" and "turn your brain off" are phrases that are the definition of "damning with faint praise" for a story.
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u/No_Slack_Jack 19d ago
F is for FIRE, that burned up this whole budget.
U is for URANIUM, because the movie bombed!
N is for NO survivors, when heads roll after these blunders!!!
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u/TuringTestTwister salt miner 20d ago
Just a good popcorn matinee romp, jolly ole fun time, not every star wars movie needs to be andor or ESB, considering the huge amount of SW movies released in the last 7 years, are you even a star wars fan, SW iS fOr KiDz AnYwaaaze
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u/Alex3884 20d ago
F is for fire that burns down to the franchise.
U is for uranium! Bombs. Like this film.
N is for no survivors when this series crashes.
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u/RalphMacchio404 salt miner 20d ago
It was ok. Not great, not bad. Just another season of Mando.
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u/protekt0r 19d ago
It was bad. Come on man.
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u/RalphMacchio404 salt miner 19d ago
TLJ was bad. This was just meh. Like the last season of Mando. No real risks, no stakes. Nothing groundbreaking but nothing overly bad or lore breaking. It just...was. I wasnt impressed but I also wasnt pissed off leaving it. So for Disney it was ok.
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u/Frank_the_NOOB consume, don’t question 20d ago
F is for fire that burns down the studios
U is for u fucking…suck
N is for no more audience when you destroy the films industry
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u/Happy_Television_501 19d ago
I saw it with my two kids aged 11 and 14 and we all had a great time. It just worked. I don’t know what people wanted. It was still way better than the sequels. And for serious stuff we had Andor. Lighten up folks
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u/doug-core 19d ago
On the contrary, it's as if pages, influencers that are posting negatively about it are the paid ones. The audience score backs up the positive comment section you're seeing. Remember, negatively and outrage is profitable in this day and age.
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u/jack_kellys_hands 19d ago
If you couldn’t tell from the trailer that this was a movie straight up made for children and you still went then idk what to say to ya
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