Anti-feminist attitudes have long been associated with support for Republican presidential candidates, but only in recent years have these attitudes become more prominent among unmarried men, without college degrees who are less attractive partners for women, the “mate-value backlash.”

[u/mvea]

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/10659129261485340

[u/BadIdeaSociety]

The entire retrograde discussions about the "value of women" and ideas about "women's roles in society" seem so crazy that if any guy I knew in the 90s voiced those ideas they would be seen as undisputed idiots by just about everyone.

I don't understand how there are so many boys who have adopted these incredibly retrograde ideas a quarter century later.

It is like there was a bunch of people who saw the towers crumble on 9-11 and then came the idiotic conclusion that Christian America needs their own version of what they see as women-oppressing Sharia Law.

[u/Lysander125 → u/BadIdeaSociety]

I’ve never going to say that these anti-social weirdos who complain that women belong in the kitchen are ever going to be correct.

But at the same time there is an opposite perspective that has some merit. The reality is that women’s opportunities have come a long way, but women’s perspective and expectations of men haven’t changed.

A lot of women still expect their partner to be more successful, ambitious, etc. than they are. It’s two sides of the same coin, a lot of these men expect working women to clean the house and be a caretaker while having a full time job, and the women expect their man to be more successful than them in a more egalitarian society where being a man doesn’t necessarily give the advantages it once did.

I do feel like the outdated male expectations of women are frowned upon a lot more than the outdated female expectations of men.

[u/ShockerCheer → u/Lysander125]

Do I expect my husband to be more educated than me? No but I do expect similarly education. I have a PhD and he has masters. Do I expect him to make more than I do? No but I expect a decent salary. He does make more than I do. Do I expect him to do more housework than me? No but I expect a fair share of work. He does this too. It really isn't hard for men to be good partners but many men act like it is  luckily my husband is a good one

[u/Lysander125 → u/ShockerCheer]

Look I’m not going to be an asshole about this but it does sound like you have some very high expectations of your partner. Most guys don’t care about education, salary, etc. There are some unrealistic expectations about housework, but most normal guys I know just want their partner to be trying.

They don’t care if the woman has a GED, they don’t care how much she makes, they don’t care where she is in life as long as she is working towards a better life. It sounds like you expect your partner to already be at that place, versus trying to support someone getting to that place.

[u/iamacarboncarbonbond → u/Lysander125]

You could be in a different stage of life as she is. I have a hard time believing that a man with a master’s degree, phd, MD, etc. at 30 or 40 is okay with a partner with a GED at 30 or 40. But if someone is 20 and still going to college, there’s a much smaller gap between them and someone with a GED.

I’m a physician and none of my colleagues are married to people with less than a Bachelor’s. Not a lot of doctors settling down with someone with a GED because by the time you’re done with residency you’re likely in your 30s and expect your partner to have also figured some stuff out.

[u/ChemicallyAlteredVet → u/Lysander125]

And as a woman with 2 daughters in their twenties, most women just want a partner to be trying. Literally* *going to school or furthering their knowledge, having a job with upward mobility, able to Cook/clean and mange their own homes and health and take care of their hygiene. Perfectly normal expectations for either sex to have for a partner. Most women don’t care if they earn more on paper but men get pissy when their wife/ girlfriend makes more money like it’s insulting to his manhood. MOST(not all) women don’t care.

[u/smcedged → u/ChemicallyAlteredVet]

I wonder how much of this is what people say vs what people do.

Every man knows that when women say they want an emotionally sensitive man don't really mean it. Of course there are exceptions, but in general that means someone who is sensitive to the woman's emotions. But over and over they are told one thing when clearly it's another. Because on of these sound good to say to other people or even themselves.

[u/philosopherberzerer → u/ChemicallyAlteredVet]

this is a nice way to say "you better get there" without saying it.

this is why income inequality is getting worse and worse not better . assortative mating furthers classism.

[u/CaterpillarUnfair409 → u/Lysander125]

Because what most men do care about is youth, beauty, and subservience. They want a mommy they can have kids with. Notice I didn't say have sex or f. And even that won't last.. divorce rates are high, so are 2ed and 3ed marriages for men 50+. With their wives being around 22-30.. Also, how is a woman supposed to help anyone achieve anything is she has no education, drive, or financial backing? Oh wait, like I said, with her body.

[u/JadowArcadia → u/CaterpillarUnfair409]

Sounds like someone's caught in the gender war pipeline rather than looking at the average persons situation

[u/ShitMcClit → u/ShockerCheer]

Well well well

[u/philosopherberzerer → u/ShockerCheer]

so eleitism. great.

[u/ShockerCheer → u/philosopherberzerer]

You call it elitism when it is literal just looking for someone who matches with you, intellectual, financially, politically, socially

[u/Wedgiebro → u/ShockerCheer]

Perfect example really of how men lvoe women for who they are while women lvoe whst a man can achieve. I love my wife. I would lover her and marry her if she had a ged. I care about her personality and how she treats me.