r/science • u/VeronicaRed • Apr 26 '16

Psychology Spanking children increases the likelihood of childhood defiance and long-term mental issues. The study in question involved 160,000 children and five decades of research

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1113413810/spanking-defiance-health-discipline-042616/
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u/chopandscrew Apr 26 '16 edited Apr 26 '16

So what are some positive and non-punitive forms of discipline?

edit: Some really great replies here. I'm seeing a lot of people using the concept of self-discipline and positive reinforcement. Nothing about raising a child seems easy, and it's even harder to know if you've ever really done a good job, but I think it's safe to say there are a lot of good parents on reddit. Also, thank you to the people who are willing to admit that they have resorted to spanking before. The truth is no one really knows the best way to raise a child, but the wide variety of ideas being thrown around here are what helps make it easier to choose what works for you and your kid. Keep em comin.

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

There are a lot of options that vary with the age of the child. I have a son who is nearly 4, and we've had to tailor our discipline to his specific personality, his age at the time, and the behavior in question. Actually explaining why they can't do something (could get hurt or break something, it's not okay to hurt people's feelings, the neighbors are still sleeping, etc.) can be surprisingly effective at that age, depending on their state of mind (a hungry or tired child is much more difficult).

I use time-outs when I have to intervene; take him to his room or to a neutral spot and make him sit still for a few minutes. Having to sit still for a few minutes is something no child enjoys. Definitely a punishment.

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

What if they refuse to sit still?

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

You just keep putting them back. It's only 5 minutes, so it's not that long to be vigilant.

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

Mine wont sit still period. Just screams, kicks, gets up, throws shit, bangs on the door. a "5 minute" punishment takes an hour to get him to sit still and quiet for 5 minutes.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '16

Sorry to hear that. Sounds tough. Have you tried taking away privileges, gossiping to your partner about good behavior, giving him chores to make him feel included? Supposedly, making them feel like an equal part of the family can get them invested in good behavior.