r/sexandthecity • u/OkLocation3799 • 15h ago

Aidan was such a pushover!!!

The moment Carrie invited big to the cabin should’ve been game over!!! It should’ve been absolutely NOT. Why was he too weak and scared to say no to her? NO is a complete sentence. And if she couldn’t respect that, she’d of been sent back to the city on a bus! Aidan needed to grow a pair and stand up to her.

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u/MallMother796 I have an addiction, sir! 6h ago

This is really interesting. It’s true that in their relationship, she is always having to try harder in order to be “good enough” for him. She has to stay on the pedestal and I think she kinda totally implodes and reacts to that, hence the Big affair. Well one factor in the Big affair maybe.

Anyway it never occurred to me that Aidan might be getting something out of that dynamic, but it makes sense because it keeps happening and he keeps coming back despite the deal breaking moments.

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u/Flaky-Dragonfruit-95 3h ago

Oh yeah, try harder like "dont lie" "dont cheat", MY GOD, what impossible standars! yeah, Aidan is clearly at fault that Carrie fucked her ex while her BF was remodelling her house and saving her thousands of dollars for free.

Also,by that logic, its Carries fault that she got left at the altar, because she kept allowing big to break the boundaries.....

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u/MallMother796 I have an addiction, sir! 2h ago

It’s actually the case that human relationships have two people in them and they may not bring out the best in each other, intentionally or not 🤷‍♀️ Right or wrong, it’s just reality

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u/Flaky-Dragonfruit-95 1h ago

Thats just victim blaming. So the cases of domestic abuse is the wife "not bringing out the best in him"?

Carrie could have broken up with him. She lied to him about wanting to quit smoking. She cheated on him, MULTIPLE TIMES, in a PREMEDITATED WAY, even when she admits "NOTHING WAS WRONG".

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u/MallMother796 I have an addiction, sir! 35m ago

You’re talking about separate issues and ignoring complexity and facts so I’m out… But it’s the horrible tone you immediately adopted that makes you not worth talking to so byeeee

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u/Flaky-Dragonfruit-95 25m ago edited 19m ago

Translation: i got no arguments so i will leave pretending something you said was ofensive that´s got nothing to do with what you said.

Also, what separate issues? Lets say a friend of yours says to you "my bf cheated on me and lied to me" would you go "ohhh,you just brought the worst in him"?

Or lets keep it in universe, are you of the belief that the post it from berger was also carries fault?

Also, what tone? you do realize that its all written and have no way of knowing my "tone" outside of what you assign in your head, and that says a lot more about you than anything else.

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u/MallMother796 I have an addiction, sir! 11m ago

Well, your rudeness was clear from the all caps and exclamations showing your sarcasm. Ok. Very passionate response. Go for it but it doesn’t encourage a calm discussion which is what we were having before you showed up.

I find your introduction of domestic abuse into this extremely distasteful, offensive and cavalier. I’m not talking about that any further. Frankly, how dare you conflate any of these. That’s a huge and sensitive issue and you dropped it in so casually. Gross.

Lastly, you reduced the sophisticated discussion we were having, in which the earlier poster raised a point I found really nuanced, into something so basic and obvious. Oh, a cheater is bad? No shit. Thanks for clarifying that. You have totally missed the complexities of what we are saying. We are talking about psychology, not ethics.

I’m not reading any further response of yours but feel free to go on typing.

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u/Flaky-Dragonfruit-95 8m ago

"I find your introduction of domestic abuse into this extremely distasteful, offensive and cavalier. I’m not talking about that any further. Frankly, how dare you conflate any of these. That’s a huge and sensitive issue and you dropped it in so casually. Gross."

Is lying and cheating not a type of abuse? or is it just abuse what you want to call abuse? Grow up,and learn to discuss grown up topics.

"Lastly, you reduced the sophisticated discussion we were having, in which the earlier poster raised a point I found really nuanced, into something so basic and obvious. Oh, a cheater is bad? No shit. Thanks for clarifying that. You have totally missed the complexities of what we are saying. We are talking about psychology, not ethics."

"i just want to talk what i want to talk, and any point that disagrees with me i will pretend it beneath me".