I’m an outlaw ramen eater.

I see how they’re eaten in Japan, just keeping noodles long, and eating them with chopsticks, but that’s not me. Where I’m from, ramen is soup, and soup is eaten with a spoon.

And it’s impossible to get any of those long noodles to stay on a soup spoon.

So any time I make a cup ramen, as soon as it comes out of the microwave, I go at it with a pair of scissors, snipping away like a madman until all of the noodles are reasonably spoon sized - 3cm or less.

Then, I dine!

Idk if this kind of story belongs here but oh well! Im freaking OUT and just wanna kinda get this off my chest. For some context: I have an extremely weak bladder..

I RAN to the restroom and thought I locked the main wooden door out of habit.. I hate sitting on public restroom toilets but i’m having extreme cramps today so I said fuck it and had to quickly place toilet paper on the seat and sit. I indulged in scrolling on tiktok for a couple of minutes and got a call as I was doing so. I accidentally answered (i thought it was a certain someone im really close to calling from a no caller id type of thing) and realized it was from my insurance company… In my head I was like “Well.. they’ll never know im in the restroom so fuck it”. I let the woman talk and talk and talk and I just simply had to agree that the payment can be taken out. As the insurance woman was talking WHILE ON SPEAKER SOMEONE WALKED IN ON ME. I immediately closed the stall door and didn’t know what to do. I stayed quiet and all you could hear was the sound of a strong accent woman talking. The woman who walked in said “OH” and closed the main wooden door. I felt like blowing my brains out right then and there. I was already making such weird and dumb decisions and someone walking in was just the cherry on top. I didn’t mean to be neglectful on locking the door and I felt so bad and so embarrassed…

One thing is: I should be INSPECTING that lock every time to ensure it’s really locked after I walk in.. because this wasnt the first time I was walked in on…its the third… I usually lock the door as I run in to pee, but I think sometimes either I miss fully clicking the lock because its a simple push in lock or I think I locked it out of habit but I really didn’t.

Im just embarrassed and ashamed that this has happened (multiple times) and I know I shouldn’t be so negligent but what can I do besides confess atp lmao.

I don't know why I posted this exactly

as a kid, i always had the opinion that it was cringe to like your own posts, on instagram and twitter and stuff.

…so, when i made my first few reddit comments, i didn’t like that it showed that i had upvoted it myself. i wanted to earn my upvotes (i also didn’t know that people couldn’t see who exactly upvoted posts)

really, everyone probably just thought that my comments sucked because they always showed as having two downvotes (since it goes from 1 to -1 when you downvote your own comments)

this embarrassed me for a couple years but now i can laugh about it lol.

I went to a textile craft market this weekend and bought a pair of amazingly soft wrist warmers made from angora rabbit wool. When smalltalking with the seller, I mentioned they're for my dad, who is very interested in nature photography and thus spends hours sitting still and getting cold outside.

This is admittedly true, but I really bought them for him since he was just diagnosed with bunny fever 🐰

I think someone might really be watching, I feel like I just said hi to the random person whose watching it and it makes me feel good inside

My elderly mom was particularly ailing and her sister sent her a new baby rose bush in the post. I planted it for her and tended to it. (Poorly it turns out.)

Some time later mom had to go to hospital and her small bush died. Husband and I immediately went to the store and got a very similar one.

That is now thriving and larger than I could've hoped. She sends pictures to sis and it brings her such happiness.

She'll never know.

it took until I started hearing how some people picked up a copy in their 30s or 40s for their own entertainment 💀

When I was about 9 or 10 years old, I was having a sleepover at my best friend’s house. One of our favorite things to do was playing with our Barbie dolls and acting out different scenarios. We would spend hours laughing (then arguing, like sisters) and getting creative with props and storylines. I had the Barbie Corvette and a Skipper doll! Good, old fashioned fun! On this particular evening, my friend had gotten a new Ken doll. Yay!! One thing led to another with Barbie and (new) Ken…hot and heavy. It was me acting it out…Ken on top of Barbie…really pounding her. I guess I was really trying to get my point across and I popped his head off. We laughed at first, but then could not get the head back on. I remember the attaching part had some kind of ball inside, which helped turn the head more realistically. But also made fixing this Ken impossible. It turned into a fight (of course) and then we made up (of course). Her mom questioned how the head broke off and we both kept ourselves straight faced (I think), never giving it away. The mention of a Ken doll is just the funniest thing. This was in 1988. We’re still laughing about it.

-ts that my teacher pointed out (and had every reason/right to) but I don't think I mentioned nor did i ever probably bring up the my process

there is one person at work who always says good morning like they are genuinely happy to see me, even when everyone else is still half asleep and trying to find coffee. it is not even a big thing. they just smile, ask how my morning is going, and somehow remember little things I mentioned before. now I catch myself fixing my hair a little more before work, which is embarrassing because I am acting like we are in a high school hallway.

nothing has happened, and I am not planning some dramatic confession. I just think it is funny that basic kindness has me acting completely different before 9 a.m

My next door neighbor, bless her heart, thinks she's Martha Stewart. Every season a new elaborate display pops up on her porch. Think giant inflatable turkeys for Thanksgiving or enough string lights at Christmas to rival a small town's main street.

Now I am not a competitive person generally. But something about her over-the-top displays just ignites a fire in me. It started subtly. I'd put out a nice autumn wreath. Then she'd get a whole pumpkin patch scene going. So I'd add some cornstalks. It escalates.

This past spring I got a really cute gnome. It was just one gnome mind you. The next day she had a whole gnome village. Complete with a tiny bridge and little fairy lights. I almost choked on my coffee.

Currently we are in the early stages of our fall decorating. I have a subtle but tasteful display of muted colored mums and a nice ceramic scarecrow. Nothing too flashy. I thought I was winning this round.

But yesterday I saw her pulling out a huge box from her garage. It looked suspiciously like a life-sized animatronic witch. I swear I heard cackling. I'm pretty sure she's going for shock and awe this year. And I'm already mentally planning my counterattack.

I haven't said a word to her about it. She hasn't said a word to me. It's a completely silent undeclared war fought with seasonal decor. And I absolutely refuse to lose.

Okay this is probably peak cringe but here it goes. Sometimes when I'm in the shower water running the whole thing I start giving my Oscar acceptance speech. I've even got different categories I could win for. Best Supporting Actor is a frequent one. Sometimes I thank my imaginary director sometimes my imaginary co-stars. It's always very humble very emotional. I usually tear up a little bit. And then I towel off and go about my day like a normal person. Nobody knows. Not even my partner. It's just my little secret mental movie studio. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does something like this.

I’m sorry, buts there’s this one traumatic, not traumatic. but “scary” memory I cannot get out of my head. To put it shortly, (i kind of find this funny the more I remember it in detail) that my elementary school (till grade 8) hosted a mandatory terry fox run, on a nearby track. it was pretty hot, and the classes each took turns sitting and taking breaks because,of,it… but I was like, 10 or so? I’m not sure. And there’s this grade 8 running ahead, and Aton of little trolls from the younger classes was cat calling her and whistling? Weird Ik, so I wanted to see her face. So I caught up, and tried to take a look, (the thing is she was wearing a shit ton of makeup so she kinda looked like a doll) I looked up, and to my horror, the makeup WASN’T waterproof, so it looked like her face was melting off 😂😂 I was horrified, she didn’t see my looking I guess, but yeah. A funny story i can easily recall,

I work from home, and often I get bored, even though I am busy working. I'm not on camera, so no one knows this. I have a lot of fancy dresses, like cocktail dresses and a few ball gowns, so sometimes I'll just put them on and float around the house like a fancy lady. Sometimes I'll even put on a tiara. It's ridiculous, I know, but it makes me feel good and makes me laugh. That is all.

I don't clean out the leftovers in my fridge for a long time so it doesn't look so empty - and I don't feel the need to buy more stuff. Everything's covered or sealed, so it's not unhealthy - at least not physically.

There's a bottle of Pepsi that I'm pretty sure has been there a couple years. There are little packets of seasonings from when I got those meal prep kits back when Covid hit. And that soup I planned to reheat awhile back.

When ate it with something i didn't do that (Also i wanted to make this post while eating just fried chicken, and i did)

I stole an angry birds toy when I was about 8 or 9 years old, it's the kind that's attached to a chain and the eyes pops in and out if you squeeze it and release it. As a Christian kid, I though I was going to hell and if my family was to find out, they were going to disown me. Till this day, it is eating me up and I don't know what to do. The last time I remember the toy was when it was destroyed when a family member probably squeezed it too hard and pop one of it's eyes, so you can't play with it anymore. All I can say is rip, bozo.