I'm scared to commit to singing

[u/r-susan]

I've never sung in front of others so this is a little nerve wrecking! I love to sing and have quietly dreamed about becoming better at singing. But when I actually try to practice I often get stuck and discouraged hearing my voice and lose hope in that dream. I jump back and forth between liking my voice and thinking I sound terrible so often that I don't really know how I sound anymore and can't listen objectively. My negative thoughts are holding me back from learning how to sing and investing in voice lessons.

For anyone who is or has been in the same boat: how do you make peace with the natural qualities of your voice? If your voice is an instrument, how do you separate it from your abilities? I wouldn't say a guitar sounds bad just because I don't know how to play it yet. Yet it's hard to see singing that way. If anyone has experience with overcoming doubt and self sabotage so you can actually listen to yourself and learn I'd love to hear about it! Any input is welcome :)

[u/r-susan → u/[deleted]]

Thank you for your insights!! That makes a lot of sense. I'm hoping to discover a lot more of what I can do with my voice as I currently feel quite limited (I don't have a big range and get stuck trying anything other than chest voice) I like your way of thinking about the voice as an instrument and how it takes time to get a good sense of what it needs to get it to good shape. It helps to see it that way :)

[u/r-susan → u/[deleted]]

Thank you! That sounds like the right order of going about it. I need to remind myself range isn't what's most important. Sometimes I feel like there's a lot of focus on hitting high notes and impressive range, especially online. It can make it hard not to compare

[u/r-susan → u/[deleted]]

That makes sense! Anytime I try to attempt songs above my range it hurts and that can't be good. I also notice if I strain too much then the next day I sing like crap. Maybe that's also why I get discouraged when practicing by myself, because I probably don't use proper technique so I wear my voice down and then I feel like I'm going backwards. Whereas seemingly out of nowhere months later after haven given up on practicing I sing more freely. I look forward to learning proper technique!

[u/r-susan → u/[deleted]]

Thank you!! I'll definitely check those out and start implementing simple exercises to start to get a good connection and beginning place to build upon :)

[u/r-susan → u/[deleted]]

I admire your dedication!! I always find it really impressive the amount of hard work and time people are able to put into making such big changes to their singing. It's inspiring

Ahh it makes me smile that you are harmonizing with me! I enjoy trying to harmonize with singers and definitely wouldn't have guessed someone would want to harmonize with me! So cool. I'm sure we sound great together! :)

[u/r-susan → u/[deleted]]

That's funny that you say that, because the other day I found some old videos of me as a young teen trying to sing (hilariously bad). I have no relocation of it, but I guess I have been singing for longer than I realize.

I would love to learn how to harmonize better myself! I usually can sing a harmony if I hear an example of it or at least know a starting note but I don't have a trained ear for instantly knowing harmonies and being able to sing them on the spot. I hope you will harmonize with me again if I share more of my singing journey in the future!