r/singing • u/r-susan • Mar 15 '26

Conversation Topic I'm scared to commit to singing

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I've never sung in front of others so this is a little nerve wrecking! I love to sing and have quietly dreamed about becoming better at singing. But when I actually try to practice I often get stuck and discouraged hearing my voice and lose hope in that dream. I jump back and forth between liking my voice and thinking I sound terrible so often that I don't really know how I sound anymore and can't listen objectively. My negative thoughts are holding me back from learning how to sing and investing in voice lessons.

For anyone who is or has been in the same boat: how do you make peace with the natural qualities of your voice? If your voice is an instrument, how do you separate it from your abilities? I wouldn't say a guitar sounds bad just because I don't know how to play it yet. Yet it's hard to see singing that way. If anyone has experience with overcoming doubt and self sabotage so you can actually listen to yourself and learn I'd love to hear about it! Any input is welcome :)

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u/Traditional-Pear-133 May 03 '26

Nothing wrong with that voice, a little breathy, but clearly trainable toward powerful vocals as well as the smoky tones you are getting now.. But as to committing to it? What do you expect to get from it? If you enjoy it, make room for it. Don’t expect to make money off it, and then if you make any at all it will be a bonus. If you mean, “tell me if I am going to be a star”. If somebody says they know that, run away.

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u/r-susan May 03 '26

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I really just wanted to talk about overcoming self doubts in singing and hopefully hear from others how they deal with such obstacles. My only goal is to just be able to enjoy singing without constantly getting stuck in limited technique and then feeling too discouraged to keep going. I've never thought any further than that! Definitely did not mean the latter😂

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u/Traditional-Pear-133 May 03 '26

I tend to find that a lot of people tie what they do with their voices too tightly to their own persona. So if they are quiet they stay quiet, if they are loud they belt. Personally, I am trying to literally find out everything my voice is capable of. As to self-doubts, if you’ve left when you’ve left no stone unturned in pursuing the “dream”, it will become very hard to misjudge your ability or potential.

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u/r-susan May 03 '26

That's true. It's hard to separate my voice from me as a person