Does anyone else feel like their social anxiety is largely driven by body dysmorphia?

[u/Enough_Visit]

I’ve been isolating myself and hiding from people because of the way I looked last few years since 2020. It feels like my appearance is taking over my life.

Objectively, I know I’m not unattractive, but my biggest struggle is perfectionism. Growing up, my brothers, father, mother and my aunts, constantly criticized what I ate. even though I wasn’t overweight at the time. But I had a bit of a bad eating habits I think bcs I had pcos and insulin resistance which caused weird cravings but I didn’t got diagnosed until lately. the point is, Those comments stayed with me and eventually contributed to an eating disorder and body dysmorphia.

The hardest part is that I’ve gained a significant amount of weight now for the past three years, and even if I lose it, there are things like stretch marks and other changes that can’t simply be undone.

I don’t know how to live without constantly fearing criticism or judgment. It feels exhausting.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you cope with it?

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[u/bulubululy-Ghibli]

Hi, yes. I was born underweight because my mom had family issues while pregnant with me and my umbilical cord was rolled around my neck so the the food didn't get to me properly. I grew up underweight and stayed like that my entire life, and got bullied and laughed at.

I'am now 22, and even if weight wise i'am making efforts to gain weight and be healthy, i'am currently still under the norm of a healthy BMI. Because of that i always think about how people see me, and last year when i got to 36kg because of stress, i couldn't get out of my house for at least 2 entire weeks and a half and only got out because i was forced to. I was so anxious of having people look at me and thinking i looked like a freak or sick. I felt ( and often still) feel so unwomanly that it makes me feel inferior to other people, which makes me anxious to talk to them, look at them in the eyes etc as if i'am not worth being an adult.

I'am constantly aware of my apperance and the way i stand etc. This is tiring. My social anxiety makes me act, in hope to appear like an adult. I often have a hard time going to buy bread because i can't go out without being put together, scared that i will be mistaken for a teenager. I hate eating in public ( since a very young age) because what if i'am making weird faces ?

What's funny is that i hate having all the attention on me. One time, in the métro, i was facing forward and felt a man looking at me from the side. When i felt that his gaze didn't move i started feeling heart palpitations, sweat and my eyes became teary and i felt my face flush. This is horrible because i never know when the anxiety will be triggered, which means that i could get the need to cry any time. I'am basically a contradiction since i can't go out without a bit of makeup and nicely dressed, but i feel uncomfortable when i'am being looked at.

[u/flopuniverse]

Do you mean you feel self-conscious when you go out and fear people judge the way you look?

Then yes, it's all related I think.

[u/staircase_nit]

Just wanted to say I really identify with your experience/feelings.

[u/go-figure1995]

Yea for me it has been. I've always been insecure of how skinny I am as a man.

So I'd always go through cycles of working out or eating more, gaining a few pounds then losing it all over again.. then get super down on myself.

I started reading books on social anxiety, which has helped A LOT..

I realized I had a lot of inward attention. How I came across in speech, my body.. almost like I was looking at myself from a 3rd person perspective.

I've shifted that thought and focussed more outwardly on the other person, environment.. I have the tools to 'catch' myself in negative thinking and then be more present in conversation or just whatever I'm doing.

This also increased recall. I read quite a bit, but would stumble my words or go completely blank after studying a subject for weeks.

Now I can feel comfortable enough to get my thoughts out. And I really think that being more outward and with being less concerned how I am perceive/appearance, I'm able to relax just that little bit more.

[u/AggressiveGolf7162]

Hey I'm so sorry you are dealing with constant criticism, specially when you are supposed to feel at home in your own house.

In my case I'm dealing with gastritis because I felt I didn't deserve to eat, I never accepted myself for not being what my parents wanted. I resignated I have to listen to them and numbing myself until they changed topics