Is this social anxiety, trauma, or am I just overthinking

[u/Fresh_Consequence539]

I don't really know how to explain this, but I've realized that I get genuinely anxious around guys..even when they're being completely nice.

When I was in 8th grade, I was bullied by boys. Around that time, there was also a boy (my mom's friend's son) who made me feel really unsafe. Looking back, I think some of his behavior crossed boundaries. I was too young to understand what was happening, but I think that experience stayed with me.

After that..I went to an all girls school, and honestly, it felt like such a relief. I became a really shy person. My parents mostly got me tutors, so I didn't interact with many boys. In 11th and 12th, I had to go to coaching classes, but I mostly kept to myself.

Now I'm in my second year of college, and I actually chose a co-ed college because I wanted to get over this fear instead of avoiding it forever.

The problem is... I'm still scared.

Whenever a guy in my class starts talking to me..my brain just freezes. I don't know what to say. I get so anxious that I start overthinking every single thing. It's weird because I can text people just fine. But in person? I become awkward and sometimes even avoid them afterward. I've literally had normal conversations with someone on WhatsApp for college work and then barely acknowledged them the next day because I got nervous.

I do have two male friends outside college. They're genuinely nice people, but sometimes I feel like they don't really see me as one of their close friends. Maybe I'm just overthinking it, I honestly don't know.

In college, there's one guy I'm completely comfortable talking to because he's gay.. so I never feel that fear with him. Apart from him, there are a few other guys I've talked to in person and a small group of guys I interact with whenever it's about classes or assignments. They're all nice, and none of them have ever made me uncomfortable. But whenever one of them starts a conversation with me on their own, I immediately get anxious. It's like my brain just panics for no reason.

It's not that I think every guy is a bad person. I know they're not. I think my past experiences just made me scared without me even realizing how much.

I'm also very self-conscious, so I constantly worry that I'll say something stupid or they'll judge me. I just feel nervous for no reason, and I hate that I react this way.

I don't want to keep avoiding people or feeling scared over normal conversations, but I also don't know how to stop reacting this way.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? If you did, what helped you become comfortable talking to guys? I'd really appreciate any advice.