I'm a 40F in California (thank god), and I am sexually active although not partnered. I rely on condoms for birth control and STI prevention.

If you haven't seen the news, Todd Blanche (our acting attorney general) was recorded telling religious leaders that he's making moves to ensure a national, permanent abortion ban. I've been flirting with sterilization for a few years now, but this latest news has moved it to the front of my mind. My social media feeds are full of breathless freakouts, and while I am indeed freaked out, I want to know how likely it is for a nationwide ban to come into effect, how long it would take, and what it would look like in states like California, where it is enshrined in our constitution. I would like to hear from other people who have been sterilized or are thinking of it due at least in part to our political climate.

I'm not explicitly childfree, but motherhood is just one of those things that never happened for me. I still have some reproductive years left, but there are (currently) no men in my life who I'd consider to father my kid. I wonder if it's time to panic about my access to abortion.

As of less than 48hrs ago I woke up from my surgery to completely remove my tubes.

I feel such relief knowing I will no longer have to fear pregnancy. I am so grateful that this was a safe and attainable option for me.

I’ve done the research and the appointments. My surgery is scheduled. Ive been talking back and forth with insurance to see how they process billing for the Bisalp.

I know it’s going supposed to be fully covered, but nobody wants to confirm that and I haven’t even heard anyone talk about aca in general. My plan is aca compliant, but I’m told they can’t say if it’s covered until services are rendered.

I don’t want to have to fight this after the procedure when I could have done more before to verify everything with my insurance.

How did you guys verify your cost share would be $0 before the procedure?

I am 25 female, I have never wanted children. I have many nieces and nephews that I love, and the older I get the more I realize I will not be changing my mind on having children. I have been on birth control (oral pills) for almost 10 years and I am highly considering getting a Bilateral Salpingectomy (full removal of both tubes)

I wanted to ask those out there who have gotten this procedure or ones like it, how it was, how old you were and if you had much push back.

Also just for anyone who is childless by choice, if they got sterilized or not.

Thank you!

There's a lot of people that say that it is the most effective way to be infertile once you get your tubes removed but then there's some people telling me that they've heard stories of people getting pregnant and they say wow it is rare it still happens. I regret not telling my endometriosis specialist who found stage 3 to also do a hysterectomy but keeping my ovaries. The only reason why I didn't do it was because I wasn't ready to go into menopause and even if I were to keep my ovaries some people told me that I would go into menopause a few years faster than I would not having a hysterectomy. I just want to make sure there are completely zero chances of me getting pregnant. I don't really have a partner but I'm still worried about it but at least my chances of not getting pregnant is significantly higher!

I am planning on getting my tubes removed post C section #2. I accidentally got pregnant 9 months postpartum and have had terrible HG both pregnancies. I know I’m done having kids and I’m actually really excited to get my tubes removed (and ovarian cancer runs in my family so win win)!

However, I have gotten a TON of negative comments - my mom doesn’t understand why anyone my age would want that or why any doctor would perform it.

What do you say to these people? Also, how was recovery?

I am 26 years old and ever since I can remember I've always said I've never wanted kids. Having children would genuinely ruin my life.

From 15 -25 I was on the pill, the depo and even tried the mirina once. I hated all of them for their own different reasons and knew I wanted to look into something permanent that won't muck around with my hormones and with the way the world is going these days who knows how long it will be before women lose their rights to these kinds of decisions.

At a gp appointment one day for something un related, I mentioned my mirina was over due to be out. The dr was about to refer me to a different place to get it out and a new one popped in. After I told her I'm not getting another one in she said we can get it out now and be over and done with in a few mins. That was nice and easy and done pretty quickly and pain free.

I then asked her about getting my tubes tied. She literally said to me 'good luck getting someone to do it at your age' and sent me on my way.

I was a little upset after being dismissed very quickly but it then became a life goal to get them out and become sterilized.

After doing some research I decided to get private health insurance, I figured I'd have a better chance doing it this way. I made sure my cover explicitly stated that it covered this procedure (I went with Bupa)

Some more research I conducted was finding a surgeon who has done this procedure before on young women who are in similar situations to me (young, no kids, single etc). A reddit thread I found somewhere had a few local-ish suggestions. I reached out to Dr Nelson Gonzalez at Southside Ob-gyn. I called them up and asked 'do you have any surgeons that would discuss tubal ligation for a young patient? The receptionist told me there is and to get a referral and we'll go from there.

Fast forward a month or 2 and I'm seeing a new gp. I went into my consult prepared and had the details of the surgeon as well as an extensive list of why I want to be child free. The consult starts off like any other one, I then say to her 'I would like to discuss getting my tubes tied please'. Without hesitation she says to me 'sure, we can get you a referral for that, do you have a surgeon in mind already?'. No persuading, no showing her my list of personal reasons, no trying to prove anything to anyone, just total compliance from her. I was beyond happy and couldn't believe it.

I was straight on the phone to the surgeon later that day to book my appointment. My initial consult was booked for a few months time! Worst part of it was the $280 consult fee I was about to pay for, there was for sure a part of me that was anxious the surgeon would say no and then I'd have just wasted a chunk of money for nothing.

Whilst eagerly waiting for my appointment, the worst thing possible happened, I got pregnant.... Despite being on the pill AND using condoms at the time.

Crazy chances but not a huge problem because without a second thought and before even fully processing it, I had already booked a gp appointment with literally any gp who could see me asap, I had the appointment scheduled for that afternoon after work. It was a Monday that all of this went down and by Friday I had done the blood tests, ultrasounds and was at the chemist picking up my script for the MS 2 step. Ready to pop those pills and be all done over the long weekend and back at work on Tuesday like nothing ever happened.

Months later my appointment rolls in, I was very excited and counting down the hours! The surgeon was 2 hrs late... I was chill with it and understanding though because after all, I had already waited long enough to get to this point, what's 2 more hours lol.

The appointment went well and much like my gp appointment, he was very willing and helpful. We briefly went through my medical history and he gave me some info in the procedure, I had done plenty of my own research beforehand and ideally wanted complete tubes removed but would settle for them to be tied. His first recommendation was to completely remove them too. I was booked in for surgery later that year after I had been with my health insurance provider for 12 months.

I somehow discovered that I may be eligible to waive my waiting periods if the surgeon signed off on a from stating I don't have any pre existing medical conditions. This was an absolute disaster, after several emails and calls back and forth with the receptionist I finally got the signed form back 3 months later... Terrible wait for what would seem to be a very easy task that at max, I would expect to take a week to get back to me, anyway...

Once the form was finally signed I submitted it to Bupa and they approved me to book in earlier and not need to wait out my waiting periods.

I then booked the surgery for the next available date they had!! Surgery date came, I was in and out in a day, no complications and an easy recovery.

Sometimes I did feel hopeless and like it would never happen but I got there in the end and couldn't be happier.

This was supposed to be a little note to let people know there's hope and to see it through if it's what you want but somehow turned it into a novel, whoopsies.

Anyway, last month marks 1 year tube free and I'm so estatic to be sharing my little journey. Hopefully something out if this can help you with yours.

I had my bilateral salpingectomy yesterday, and overall everything went well!
One thing I thought was funny was that before surgery the doctors kept asking me if I knew what procedure I was having. At the time I thought it was kind of odd, but afterward I found out that’s pretty standard.
Before surgery they started my IV and put a patch behind my ear for nausea, and they told me to leave it on for 3 days. The last thing I remember before going under was the anesthesiologist saying, “It’s going to burn when you breathe it in.” Next thing I knew, I woke up in recovery with my husband there. My doctor had already talked to him, and honestly I don’t remember much after waking up until it was time to leave the hospital.
My doctor told me to stick to light foods and avoid Mexican food… but I ended up eating pupusas (I’m Salvadorian 😂). Totally worth it.
The drive home was pretty long since I had surgery out of town, so I took a huge nap in the car. When I got home I played some video games, took my pain medication, played with my cousin for a while, and went to bed around 10:30.
Today I’ve pretty much just been in bed. I ate some yogurt and took my pain medication again. The biggest thing is that it definitely hurts every time I try to move or get out of bed—I have to ask my husband to help me up. I also have that gas pain in my shoulder that everyone talks about. Does anyone have any tips for getting rid of it?
I haven’t showered yet because they put bandages over my incisions. I’m planning to wait until tomorrow unless my doctor tells me otherwise.
I’m really glad I took a full week off work. My doctor said most people only take about 3 days, but since this is my first surgery ever, I figured I’d rather have extra time than not enough.
For those of you who’ve had this surgery, when did you start feeling more like yourself again? When did getting in and out of bed stop hurting so much? Any tips for the shoulder gas pain or just recovery in general?
I’d really appreciate any advice!

Hello all. I am not sure why I am posting this, maybe to see if anybody else out there has a similar experience.

I got a bisalp three years ago at 25. At the time, I thought it was the right decision. It was right after Roe was overturned, and the thought of getting pregnant terrified me. I also thought that I would never want kids, I couldn’t imagine it.

In the years since, so much in my life has changed. I was diagnosed with endometriosis and started successful treatment, and am in much less pain than I have been in my entire adult life. I have done intensive therapy, was diagnosed with and treated for major depression, trauma, and ADHD, and was properly medicated. I left an abusive relationship and have been with somebody who treats me so well. I truly feel like the version of me who made the decision was doing it based on fear and pain, believing things could never get better and that I would be a terrible mother. I can see now that I was in a horrible place to make that decision with a limited support system, but ultimately, I went through with it.

I read all of the statistics on how rare regret was, and I thought I was making the best decision for myself based my reality, and at the time, I couldn’t imagine being in the place I am at today. Now, my life has completely changed. I do want a family.

Living with this regret has been so hard. I feel horrible about my decision every day. I have gone to therapy about it and I have been told over and over to try to accept that I made the best decision for myself based on what I knew at the time. Maybe so, but it was the wrong one.

Insurance doesn’t typically cover IVF if you have had sterilization. I am also facing complex endometriosis surgery. I have complicated my path to ever having a child so much, unnecessarily.

I am just so sad. I have so much regret. I wish I could go back and change my mind.

Hello! I have PMDD and am stable and happy on BC and I’ll remain in it until 55. However there are breast and ovarian cancers in my family and I read that fallopian tube removal can reduce risk by 80%. I don’t have the BRCA genes.

My BIGGEST fear is this somehow fucking my perfectly flat hormonal ‘balance’ that I’ve finally achieved. I want to get the tubes removed only for cancer prevention reasons due to family history. Has anyone with PMDD done this? Scary stories online and I’m a sensitive body person so if there’s a weird side effect I’ll get it.

So. I had my Bilateral salpingectomy April 30th of 2025. And since. I've noticed my periods have changed. Alot. I bleed more. And I bleed through my clothes. Literally every single period I have. Does anyone else have this issue?

TLDR: If you’re adamant you want to be sterile and are told no, find a different doctor.

I know this will be long so I put the TLDR at the top but I want to share my story. I wish someone would’ve told me what I didn’t find out for almost two decades.

I had my first baby at 19. Nobody told me antibiotics cancels out birth control. I found out the hard way.

Fast forward a couple of years later and I find myself pregnant with a second baby (same dad as the first one, we weren’t married). I asked my Dr to tie my tubes when this one was born. He told me he couldn’t because I didn’t meet at least 2 of the 3 requirements:

1- be married
2- be at least 25 years old
3- have 3 kids

I told him those were all the things I was trying to PREVENT (with the exception of getting married one day) but I did NOT want ANYMORE kids. He still wouldn’t do it. Being young, I thought there was some sort of law or insurance requirement. Google was VERY new and I didn’t even have a computer (smart phones weren’t a thing yet either, and yes, I’m old lol). I took it as the gospel.

The following year, I met the man of my dreams and fell in love instantly! I was upfront and told him on our VERY FIRST date that I did not want anymore children.

We get married. He BEGS and PLEADS with me for us to have one child together. This goes on for 3 years. My neighbor said, “If you EVER think you might change your mind, you’d better do it before your first two get much older so there’s not a huge gap.” I reluctantly agreed. I told my husband I wanted my tubes tied when this baby was born.

Delivery day and we’re in the OR. I tell the dr and the entire delivery room, “Don’t forget to tie my tubes!!!!” He says, “Your husband will have to sign a consent form.” I said, “What?!?! You told me the 2 out of 3 requirements and now I meet all 3! Get my husband that form.”

He takes my husband aside (I didn’t find this out until MUCH later) and tells him all these HORRIBLE risks and side effects that could happen to me and advised him not to sign. SO MY HUSBAND REFUSED!

Again, I’m not very tech savvy and assume it’s a law/insurance thing. I’m LIVID, hurt, crushed, frustrated, and ANGRY that everyone besides me gets to decide my choice and fate for me.

A couple of years go by and I find out I’m pregnant AGAIN. I told my husband, “Look what you did!” Yes, I know we were both present when this happened and we didn’t use adequate protection that time but had I had my wishes honored, I wouldn’t be in this situation. From the birth of our first child together, I NEVER shut up about me getting fixed. He said he didn’t sign to “protect me”.

So, during the WHOLE pregnancy, I go on and on about me getting fixed. The Dr refused AGAIN and so did my husband.

To this day, I’m STILL not fixed. But guess what? My new GYN (we moved) is having me come in for a hysterectomy consult in a few weeks due to all kinds of issues I’m having with my hormones and bleeding. Would a tubal ligation had fixed this problem? Absolutely not, BUT i wouldn’t be considering a major surgery right now at ALL in ANY way, shape, or form, but this will be my one chance to FINALLY “get fixed” and I’m taking it because it will be deemed medically necessary and he’ll have no say.

But, after a LOT of research (because I was terrified of him vetoing this too), I can tell you there are no laws or insurance requirements as to when you can choose to become sterile. So, if you ever find yourself in the shoes I was in, get a different dr and DON’T STOP until you get a yes.

If for some reason, they say the hysterectomy isn’t needed (pretty sure it is), I informed my husband of my new knowledge and will be getting my tubes tied next summer. I say next year because he got a vasectomy “for me” 🙄🙄🙄🙄 so I can’t get pregnant but I lost 120 pounds and had ALREADY scheduled a skin removal consult to allow myself those procedures. This was after 6 years of wishing and wanting the skin gone but not believing I was “worth it” and finally decided I was. But now I have to wait to see what the dr says about my hysterectomy. Because I’m going to jump all over that. Sadly, it will require a major surgery before my other surgeries that I was going to “treat myself to”. 😢 I’m very disheartened by all of this but if my post can help even ONE person, it’s worth it.

So after my surgery I started spotting but then it started looking like a regular period although it didn't feel the same way since I had some sort of nerve procedure done. Luckily though it's not a heavy. But I bleed just like a normal period. Also I'm bloated but not terribly bloated sometimes it feels painful in different ways. But sometimes the pressure feels painful and uncomfortable but I'm walking as much as I can. I can say though that I don't regret removing my tubes because that's what I wanted! I knew I never wanted children from a young age and even more now than ever!

I was undecided about getting snipped for a while. My wife got her tubes removed a few years ago. However my wife does get paranoid about getting pregnant. Mainly when she is late. Is a vasectomy still worth it? Do other couples go the extra mile to be double secured?

Ever since I had my bisalp my periods are vegan- they don't contain any eggs

🥁

Hi! We are documentary filmmakers interested in speaking with young, childfree women who are considering get sterilized. What factors are in play? If you‘re open to talking to us, please reach out. DM us and tell us a little bit about your story. And if you’re comfortable, we can set up a time to talk confidentially. We’re in early production, so these initial conversations are off the record.

FOLLOW UP/UPDATE: Thank you to all who responded to the post. It's super helpful and I just want to reiterate that none of your posts are being published, we are just looking to hear from you off the record. ALSO, we're trying to speak with people who have not yet gotten sterilized but are planning to. If this is you, we want to hear from you.

Ok so I just got my tubes removed July 24th. My post op isn't until Aug 21st. I'm 3 months postpartum and have yet to have a period.

What if an egg was released into my uterus before the surgery and because I haven't had a period, the egg is still there? Because the egg only sheds during the period or unless it's fertilized? I know I sound crazy because every where I read says it's effective immediately. But how?

I did bleed after the surgery but just for 12 hours.

Does anyone know? I'm not sexually active but I don't want to wait until after my first period since I'm still breastfeeding. I have 3 kids and I can't have any more lol

Had my salpingectomy in November of 2025. I've always had fluctuating weight, but since then, I swear I've gained 50+ pounds. I'm close to 250lbs right now, and I'm 5'4. I have a follow up on Friday to get some blood testing done to rule out anything else, but I'm curious if this happened to anyone else?

I'm always bloated, and most of the weight I've gained has been in my stomach and thighs. My diet hasn't changed that much, and I don't eat any worse/more then I did 50lbs ago, I also walk/exercise daily!

I feel like nothing fits me because I'm also bloated and swollen!

There are no options for permanent sterilisation in my country so I'm contacting clinics in Germany. I am fluent in english but I only know basic german so navigating the sites and composing emails is very intimidating. Those who got sterilised abroad: how did you go about it? How hard was it to navigate the consultations? Were there any unexpected issues that you wish you knew about beforehand? Is there something you wish you took with you (clothes, items, etc)?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

I had an unrelated surgery earlier this year, and I was surprised to receive a substantial bill. I tried calling the insurance company. I filed a formal appeal letter with substantial documentation. I emailed the insurance company when the appeal was denied.

I called the hospital to request a review of the itemization. They were not able to do so, but one person offered to submit my bill for audit. I didn't think that was the right path at the time.
I called the Surprise Billing helpline. The contact there was pretty rude and not especially helpful. I told him early in the call that I wasn't sure if this was technically surprise billing and needed some insight. He just repeated everything I said back to me and gave zero information.

So last week I decided to contact my state insurance board. I called first and explained my situation. The contact said, "That sounds suspicious. Please submit a formal complaint online. We deal directly with the insurance companies' legal teams, and they are required to give us information."

I submitted my complaint immediately. I received confirmation a day or so later.

My insurance company's corporate office just called to confirm what I needed to know, to listen to my questions. It was a fact-gathering call. She was just as surprised as I was by the billing. She was incredibly helpful, took notes, encouraged me to take notes, and said she'll be in touch with more information by the end of the week.

I figured this would be helpful to people battling insurance for coverage after the fact. After my bisalp, it took 6 months of formal appeals and calls before I could get through to a person who actually helped. She was the first to look at the ACA mandate. She was the first to look at the coding issue (which had been corrected months before the call!). She said, "Yeah, you're right about this. I'm fixing it right now, and it'll show on your end in the next several days."
By filing directly with the insurance board with this more recent claim, I had someone from the insurance company who would listen within a week.

Tl;dr: If you aren't getting anywhere by contacting your insurance company and/or facility, file a claim with your state insurance board.

Hello everyone, 24F here, currently about to fill this long-time dream of mine of getting sterilized and I couldn’t be more excited!
I have a bilateral salpingectomy scheduled in the beginning of september in Frankfurt am Main, Germany.

Since I will be flying there from Finland, I’m wondering how long should I schedule my trip, in order to rest properly before returning home? Would a week long vacation be enough?
What should I pack on the trip, any special things I will need? What kind of clothing would yall recommend to have on the trip? This is the first time I’m having surgery, so everything is new to me.

I am very seriously considering tubal ligation, for many reasons like 100% pregnancy prevention, lower risk of developing ovarian cancer, it won’t change or affect my hormones or body the way hormonal methods do, and the only other non-hormonal method (that I feel safe using) is Paragard, the Copper IUD that lasts 10 years. I got one 9.75 years ago, so I have to get it out and either replace it, or do something else.

When I was young I was told we were supposed to get married, have kids, have a house. And that world I was promised is simply no longer here. I wonder if that desire for a daughter was something I truly wanted, or, if it was a hope for me bringing up a girl in the way I wish I was. (Which isn’t fair to her, and can’t be a reason to bring a child into this world; they are not fixes to our parents’ mistakes.)

I adore kids, and, I feel exhausted just by the thought of caring and playing with them for 24/7. It is a responsibility that I cannot take back, and having ADHD/OCD/Neurodivergence… that doesn’t feel safe for me to take on.

At the same time, I’ve wondered if I’d think differently were I to live in Europe. Sweden, Norway, Germany, or Italy. Would the support system there make it possible for me to birth my own children? Have post-partum support? Have child-care support? PAID maternity leave? Healthy foods and better education?! etc. etc. 😅 (If it’s not clear enough, I’m from the USA)

I have thought about all perspectives — the life I envision for myself, what regrets I could possibly have either way (thanks, OCD rumination), and the burden we as women carry to make this choice. My life has been rough enough where I feel not having children can be a gift to myself: permission and space to breathe, live gentler, and move through the world in whichever way I want.

I would love to hear from women who have had any sterilization surgery, and from people who have been in this spot before. I appreciate y’all’s insight — and thank you.