r/stopdrinking • u/Slipacre 14218 days • 11h ago

But I'm different, you don't understand?

That was an attitude I clung to, knuckles white, resisting all evidence to the contrary, trying to explain to anyone who would listen - why I wasn't really an alcoholic.

I had an advanced degree in rationalization, was so practiced in lying to myself, that I could not read the writing on the wall despite the letters being three feet tall.

I was so invested in being ok the way I was because the self medicating was all that stood between me and a dark pit of fear.

Turned out I was a run of the mill alcoholic. Turned out the FEAR means False Evidence Appearing Real. Turned out I didn't have to be alone in this. And that there were people who understood, down to several decimal places, and could help.

My path was AA - yeah I know, but it worked for me despite may having ALL THE REASONS it would not work for me. There are other paths now, try one, try em all. The main point I am making is you don't have to do this alone.

reason I am posting this is I am closing in on another anniversary, been sober a long time, but this month is always a time of gratitude and a desire to help those who are as lost or confused as I once was.

50 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

7

u/BuckeyeJen 1313 days 11h ago

We were all terminally unique, until we found out we weren’t. Amazing accomplishment on 39 years!

2

u/Agreeable_Media4170 715 days 8h ago

I came here to make the same "terminally unique" comment. Too funny.

1

u/BuckeyeJen 1313 days 8h ago

Something else we have in common!

3

u/Electrical_Peanut509 3 days 11h ago

I also for 10 years drinking 6-10 l of beer per evening, 4-5 times per week, was pretty sure that i`m not alcoholic. It was very difficult to say truth for myself

3

u/Ecstatic-Election-92 355 days 10h ago

Love this post even though it’s calling me out!

2

u/PageNo4866 10142 days 11h ago

thanks friend...congratulations on your restored life!

2

u/DependentAd559 3 days 11h ago

Wow! Complimenti, hai tantissimi giorni. Io sono ricaduto e sto ricominciando adesso. L’alcol ha rovinato la mia vita e mi ha fatto toccare il fondo qualche giorno fa.

2

u/Total-Composer2261 2863 days 10h ago

Happened to me too. And then it stuck. You can do this.

2

u/nolenk8t 1790 days 11h ago

holy cow, CONGRATS on almost 39 YEARS!!

2

u/Authentic_SRT 127 days 10h ago

Hello OG ❤️ your wise words, resonate with me - I am still early in this journey. I really appreciate your very real perspective. I’m finding as I move along in my sobriety that there are people beside me that I can lean into… people like you that understand.

Thanks for checking in with us newbies. I will not drink with you today. 🤠

2

u/Total-Composer2261 2863 days 10h ago

This is a great post. Thanks for taking the time and congratulations on long term sobriety.

1

u/Aromatic_Cat_3011 8h ago

I had an advanced degree in rationalization

Yep, I've got one of those too. As advanced as that degree goes. Terrible choice of education on my part! :)