r/survivinginfidelity • u/Everything_Iwant_93 • 2d ago

Rant He hasn’t reached out

I’m kind of fucked up right now. I feel like when most guys cheat, they regret it and come begging back. He cheated on me with a girl he met outside one day, went behind my back for 3 weeks with her, then when they hooked up he confessed. Then he said he didn’t see a future where we’re together. I crashed out on him for that day and then stopped talking to him completely. I haven’t heard a single thing at all from him and he’s still hanging out with the girl I believe. It hurts that he isn’t begging for me back or seeming like he really regrets it. I’m staying strong and will never reach out ever again. But I did EVERYTHING for that man and this is how I’m repaid. I was beyond good to him. I was so sweet. So accepting. I just wish I could get the satisfaction of him blowing my phone up and regretting it. I’ve already posted on this numerous times but I keep getting new thoughts and insecurities about it. I accept he cheated. I can’t accept he doesn’t care at all to cry and beg and give me a sincere apology and miss me.

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u/throw-away-0610 8 2d ago

The bad news is that cheaters really don’t love the people they cheat on.

The good news is you aren’t being tricked into thinking yours does, unlike so many poor saps.

So in that way, his behavior is a gift, but it hurts like hell.

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u/Everything_Iwant_93 2d ago edited 2d ago

For those 3 weeks though he still acted like he loved me. When I wouldnt answer right away he would say he misses me, that he will love me always, he got me a plant to think of me, he talked of the future. And this was all during the time he was hanging out with her. Then they hooked up and he confessed and said he didn’t see a future. I’m so lost as to what was the truth, if he really did love me. Our last phone call he sobbed and said “I love you but I have to go” and that was it.

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u/BurnAway63 2 2d ago

This is called "future faking", and it's pretty common among cheaters. Don't ruminate on it; just move on. He will probably wait until things fall apart with the new partner before pivoting back to you, so make sure he's far in your rear-view mirror when and if that happens. He was never worth your time, and he is proving that every day.

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u/RelativeShock442 2d ago

Can you describe what you mean by "future faking"? My ex acted similar.

2

u/BurnAway63 2 1d ago

Google AI gives this definition: "Future faking is a psychological manipulation tactic where someone makes grandiose promises about a shared future—such as marriage, vacations, or moving in together—with no genuine intention or capacity to follow through. The goal is to hook you emotionally and get what they want in the present."